View Full Version : Cooking Husbands!

31st Mar 2002, 20:06
For the Men Haters of this forum .... or are todays women losing their subtle touch?

How To Cook A Husband: "Moravian Cook Book 1910

A good many husbands are spoiled by mismanagement. Some women keep them constantly in hot water; others let them in a stew all their lives, by irritating ways and words. Others roast them or keep them in a pickle all their lives.

It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good when managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.

In selecting your husband you should not be guided by silky appearance as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint as if you wanted salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended with the required number of buttons nicely sewed on.

...Tie him in the baking dish by a strong silk cord called comfort; the one called duty is apt to be weak and they are may fly out of the dish and be burned and crusty at the edges, since like crabs and lobsters you have to cook them alive...

...If he splutters and fizzles do not be anxious; some husbands do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgement. Do not stick sharp instruments into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently; watch…lest he lie too flat…and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done.

If thus treated you will find him very digestible, agreeing nicely with you and the children, and he will keep as long as you want, unless you become careless and set him in too cold a place.

31st Mar 2002, 20:21
Anyone seen "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover"? They do a mean roast!!!

A Comfy Chair
1st Apr 2002, 12:16
mmm, saw that movie here in Oz on "World Movies" on Foxtel.

Was somewhat startled at the content of the movie in general, but was totally FLABBERGHASTED when I saw the um, "roast" at the end!!!

1st Apr 2002, 17:50
Awwwwww...... I'm not a 'Man Hater'!!!

Men are ok,.... really they ARE....... you just gotta get the hang of cooking them thoroughly!!! hehehehe :p

1st Apr 2002, 20:31
AerBabe: sounds like they would do a mean stir fry!

ACC: That reminded me of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, when Meatloaf (the singer), became Meatloaf (the dinner) :eek:

briteandbreezy: Look after them tastebuds and dont forget to eat the vegetables. ;)

2nd Apr 2002, 00:45

...u tellin' me that the male species ain't vegetables?????? ;)