PDA

View Full Version : Why would German ladies stare at my Daughter.


magpienja
2nd Jun 2012, 10:41
Hi all just a quick question to put my daughters mind at ease,

She has just re-turned from a honeymoon cruise around the Med on a Thomsons ship....she cant praise the cruise enough....but there where quite a few older German couples on board....

During the cruise she noticed a few times that when sitting near some of these German couples that the lady would stare with a very unfriendly and almost angry look...but the husband would seem quite ok,

She is a very attractive slim but small natural blond 23 year old and is quite conservative in her dress code....I am thinking its something to do with the UK/German cultural difference,

Needless to say it made her feel very uncomfortable and at a loss,

Any ideas guys...as I say it happened more than once with different couples.

Nick.

green granite
2nd Jun 2012, 10:45
You tango to it.

DX Wombat
2nd Jun 2012, 10:54
Misplaced envy probably, and possibly a lack of trust in their husbands. Tell your daughter to ignore the miserable so & sos and simply enjoy herself.

Tableview
2nd Jun 2012, 11:19
Samantha Brick on the downsides to looking pretty: 'Why women hate me for being beautiful' | Mail Online (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html)

Torque Tonight
2nd Jun 2012, 11:25
Perhaps a photograph would help. ;)

Does she have facial tattoos?

arcniz
2nd Jun 2012, 11:42
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/65/Blue_morpho_butterfly.jpg/663px-Blue_morpho_butterfly.jpg

Perhaps the frowning Fraus resented daughter exuberantly flaunting her perky (and for them inimitable) young bits in topless array as she went cavorting among the cheesy Klaatch of older German men dipping in the shallow end, artfully pretending to chase a very elusive butterfly (of the Nabokovian sort) while gathering observations for a paper she is writing for her studies.

Milo Minderbinder
2nd Jun 2012, 12:05
they probably blame her for taking their towels off the sun beds and chucking them in the pool

or

she was getting too much attention from the head waiter

McGoonagall
2nd Jun 2012, 12:08
Shaved armpits?

AlpineSkier
2nd Jun 2012, 13:01
Shaved armpits

What ? Have you never heard of Nena ??

ShyTorque
2nd Jun 2012, 13:04
It's never a good idea to wear a swastika jacket on a cruise.

Fox3WheresMyBanana
2nd Jun 2012, 13:06
Did she mention the War?

mixture
2nd Jun 2012, 13:29
Was she the first to lay claim to the poolside deckchairs ? :E

LuIJqF8av6I

chuks
2nd Jun 2012, 16:46
She probably should have asked, politely, if there was a problem. I'm married to one, yet I have to say zat wizz ze Chermans, you just never know for certain why their panties are in a wad. It might have had something to do with your daughter being young and pretty, or with the way some old bat's Grandpa had to move to Paraguay in 1945, or persistent complaints that there were no fried Mars bars at the evening buffet....

I wouldn't lose a lot of sleep over it if I were her. Tell her to watch that one particular episode of Fawlty Towers and laugh it off.

Blacksheep
2nd Jun 2012, 17:41
The lady would stare in an friendly, angry way, the man would be OK.

I'd say the answer's right there. :D

flying lid
2nd Jun 2012, 18:27
German Women ? - All is explained here, at 6 mins 40 secs.

Fawlty Towers: The Germans 1.6 [1/3] - YouTube

Lid

SpringHeeledJack
2nd Jun 2012, 18:34
Having had a few relationships with Deutsche Damen over the last decade it might simply be that these older ladies were envious of your daughters youthful 'austrahlung'. Women can be very illogically reactive to things that men are more sanguine about, especially the signs of aging (not that we are happy about it ;) ) and bitchiness can rear it's ugly head. The difference is, is that the ladies of the UK (in this case) might think it, or not as the case may be, but the Germans have, for all their positive attributes an inability to hide their thoughts, either by telling you straight out :ooh: or it being written on their faces. They also do stare , especially if someone looks different/weird/beautiful/whatever. Next time your daughter is in such a situation she should simply look them in the eyes and SMILE! This will either cause them to look away or smile back :ok:



SHJ

Milo Minderbinder
2nd Jun 2012, 18:39
A Rottweiler smile I take it?

magpienja
2nd Jun 2012, 19:13
Fawlty Towers...priceless....we will ever see the likes again.

Tableview
2nd Jun 2012, 19:26
Fawlty Towers. Brilliant. The episode above is only the start of where the Germans arrive. The classic :
"Don't keep mentioning ze var war"
"You started it ....."
"No we didn't. You did. You invaded Poland......."
........... is in the next part of the clip.

Sadly, nothing like this can ever be done again as it is 'politically incorrect' and would have the fluffies and the thought police going into cardiac arrest.

As an aside, why would the opening scene of this episode have Northwick Park Hospital (which is in Harrow, north of London) in the background whilst Fawlty Towers was in Torquay, a couple of hundred miles away.

magpienja
2nd Jun 2012, 19:31
Parts 2 and 3 are there as well...just watched them.

DX Wombat
2nd Jun 2012, 20:37
why would the opening scene of this episode have Northwick Park Hospital (which is in Harrow, north of London) in the background whilst Fawlty Towers was in Torquay, a couple of hundred miles away.
To confuse the viewers. ;)

Tableview
2nd Jun 2012, 20:39
Ja, natuerlich, like changing the roadsigns in UK to confuse the Germans!

Lon More
2nd Jun 2012, 21:49
Don't mention the War

Rengineer
4th Jun 2012, 07:39
Nick,

without any further information to go by, I would hazard a guess that the older ladies' behaviour had more to do with them being older ladies, than with them being Germans. I am wondering, with all due respect to Mrs your daughter, whether she might inadvertently have broken some rule or etiquette valid on cruises. Like, maybe the ladies expected her to spend time with her newlywed husband, or something. You never really know.
In any case if it was me, I shouldn't worry any more about it.

Worrals in the wilds
4th Jun 2012, 09:03
Tell her to enjoy it while it lasts. :(

Before too long she'll no longer be seen as a threat and spend the day having a good ol' chin wag with them about the dinner and shopping highlights, only pausing to join forces in a group snarl at the Bright Young Thing 'strutting' around in a bikini. :} Said Bright Young Thing will no doubt be wondering 'why are they all glaring at me? I'm just going to the pool'. :confused:

Circle of life.

rennaps
4th Jun 2012, 09:41
That episode (The Germans) of Fawlty Towers was the only episode not sold to German TV

Captivep
4th Jun 2012, 13:30
It could be, of course, that the ladies concerned were bisexual...

That would be my wife's excuse!

iwrbf
4th Jun 2012, 13:40
Being german myself, here are my "two cents"...

Sadly, your poor daughter experienced some strange phenomena in german behaviour (mind: I don't talk about every single german behaving like an idiot, but there is indeed some kind of behaviour pattern, sometimes...)

Ze German Stare
German national "soul" does not know much about privacy in general, much less regarding staring in public. Depending on where you are in germany or where your german guinea pig grew up, you'll find the "German Stare" somewhere from mildly strange to really annoying. There are regions in southern germany where you get the impression of being surrounded by hobby dentists trying to examine your mouth...

Ze German Face
Never try to say something like "Why are you looking so grumpy at me?" to German. Most likely you'll get the answer: "Ich hab halt so ein Gesicht!" ("That's my face, live with it"). As the "gentleman" factor is not a part of German (pseudo-)culture, most germs (sic!) won't really think about what they do to others looking grumpy or angry. Ever thought about the fact that Botox is not really the megaseller in germany? Because no one cares for his angry wrinkles above his/hers nose...

Ze German Envy
There's one really driving force in many germans: Envy. There's even a well known Wilhelm Busch citation which was modified to fit even better: "Neid ist die Deutsche Form der Anerkennung" - "Envy is a german's way of appreciativeness"
So don't mind, your daughter may simply be too pretty :-)

Everything written before, including Paraguay (thank you for that, I literally laughed my a. off - reminds me of the the Pan Am pilot in FRA being asked: "have you never been here before?", answering "I was, in 1944, but I didn't land..."), is abolutely right. I guess your daughter concentrated every german nuisance in behaviour on this trip. A pretty young lady with an obviously uncomfortable older wife seated in her vicinity, with a german stare, a german mindset, a german face and an absolute disrespect for other people's privacy.

Please, tell your daughter that I'm sorry for what she experienced. Hopefully, her trip was not really wasted by this. Furthermore please tell her, that there are uncountable Germans out there not being grumpy, not being aggressive, not being angry for British Self Defence some decades ago. Some of us are even fans of you and of the descendanies (spel?) you created around the globe (US, CN, AUS, NZ... just kidding, I know that these are colonies ;-) )

Ah, one thing left: How to react when being german-stared-upon? Smile. It won't change the stare, but it's funny as hell to see the reactions... ;-)

Germans aren't really bad. One should not allow them to be "lead" by strange figures from neighbouring countries and they should always be taken with a grain of salt.

Kind regards,
Peter

PS: Currently living in Germany, I experienced an english man in his 40s waiting for his wife inside his car on an Aldi car park. After a few minutes of german stare from every single person walking by, he was short of having some kind of stroke. I sincerely believed he would attack the next passer by. Sadly, I fully understood what he went through.

iwrbf
4th Jun 2012, 13:42
That episode (The Germans) of Fawlty Towers was the only episode not sold to German TV
That's where german humour ends...

Think about "The Fifth Element" by Luc Besson. In the opening scene, the archaelogist is surprised by 6 feet high giant bugs, walking upright. In english, he asks: ARE YOU GERMAN?

In German, he says: "do you speak (!) german?"

I guess they feared for the movie's success...

rgbrock1
4th Jun 2012, 13:43
Having lived in der Vaterland for over a decade I find the behavior of the older German women, as you described, a bit odd. Odd in the sense that Germans, as I knew them, always considered it rude to stare. Perhaps it was just a matter of envy on their part. I wanted worry too much about it.

haughtney1
4th Jun 2012, 13:55
and is quite conservative in her dress code....

Thats what she says........:E how do you know she isn't a little more risque when you aren't around.

airship
4th Jun 2012, 14:35
Any ideas guys...as I say it happened more than once with different couples. Vun can only suggest that the newly-married fraulein in question had been vitnessed by all zeze older Germans, "alveys on the lookout so as to assume superior feelinsk": zeeing how zhe szpent an extraordinary amount of time in the on-decker jacuzzi spa-bath, all alone as it were, und withour zer huzband.

How 'absolutely sad' commented one German lady to her neighbour: "so newly-married and she's already having to find comfort in the pool"?! Her husband wakes up from his slumber muttering: "It's my towel, my reserved place, Gott in Himmel?!" "Oh, go back to sleep, you Dumpkoff"!

And turning to her neighbour: "I think it's time we got our own fair share of the high-pressure jacuzzi water-jets, don't you? Let's take a dip to get us in a better mood for our negligent hubbies later..."?!

Milo Minderbinder
4th Jun 2012, 14:55
I see the censors have been at work on this thread

OFSO
4th Jun 2012, 15:34
Indeed, my post was removed.

In mitigation for the stare post, may I add my experience of travelling from Hessen - moderate stare, use of "Du" with strangers utterly prohibited - to Starnberg, Bayern/München - strong stare, followed by "Hey Du, was macht's du hier ?" followed by "Ach du Lieber, eine Englander" and being bought several brandies and whiskeys in a Kneipe and waking up in a strange place the next morgan.

Fortyodd2
4th Jun 2012, 16:37
"why would the opening scene of this episode have Northwick Park Hospital (which is in Harrow, north of London) in the background whilst Fawlty Towers was in Torquay, a couple of hundred miles away".

Because "Fawlty Towers" was actually filmed at Wooburn Green, close to Beaconsfield and not actually that far from Harrow.

Rengineer
4th Jun 2012, 16:43
Being german myself, here are my "two cents"...

Sadly, your poor daughter experienced some strange phenomena in german behaviour

Haha iwrbf, good one! :D

TBH, the vast majority of Germans are a lot more open and considerate than the British tend to paint them, but it does depend on the specific region. For example, the general approach to any non-conforming behaviour in my part (North) of Germany is "who cares", whereas in some other parts people quickly get annoyed. I experienced much of the same when living in Switzerland, France, and Great Britain, so I suppose most readers won't be too surprised.

Tableview
4th Jun 2012, 16:44
Because "Fawlty Towers" was actually filmed at Wooburn Green, close to Beaconsfield and not actually that far from Harrow.
Thanks, I never knew that and always assumed that it was filmed at the place in Torquay on which it was based. I should have known as I have family and friends near Marlow.
Wooburn Grange or Wooburn Grange Country Club to give it it's full name, was the building used as the outside of Fawlty Towers. As with all the other outside locations used in the series it is nowhere near Torquay, it is in fact near Bourne End in Buckinghamshire.

Ancient Observer
4th Jun 2012, 16:51
On a thread about a young lady and german ladies, there are a lot of Michael Caines commenting.

But thanks for the comments. Wooburn Green, indeed.

bnt
4th Jun 2012, 16:56
That episode (The Germans) of Fawlty Towers was the only episode not sold to German TV
Maybe that's true of the original run, but in a documentary I saw (on the Gold channel, I think) I'm sure I recall Cleese saying that it's been shown there and that Germans get who the joke is on.

oldchina
5th Jun 2012, 06:36
Pure jealousy. Maybe her new husband has sizeable assets which catch the eye but they'll never get their hands on.

I don't mean his post office savings.

glad rag
5th Jun 2012, 07:47
This thread is useless without pictures.

:ok:

they've lost it and she's got it, ENVY basically in that particular older Germanic way!!!

Mr Optimistic
5th Jun 2012, 09:15
I have found this thread strangely informative........

magpienja
5th Jun 2012, 11:43
Thank you everybody for your comments...all noted and I will pass it all onto my daughter,

She has been home a week now and very much enjoyed her honeymoon cruise...the incident is all forgotten about now,

All very interesting though.

Capot
5th Jun 2012, 17:33
I can explain why a group of maturity-challenged young women, female chavs from the centre of England on a "hen" trip, were being stared at by German ladies when they visited a German spa for a laugh last week, kitted out in their Primark bikinis.

They not only refused to strip off in accordance with the absolute custom - and house rules - but stared and giggled at the other guests, 50:50 male/female, aged 10 - 80, to whom spa nudity is as natural as dressing warmly in winter to go outside. They were making some very moronic comments in English, evidently oblivious to the fact that most Germans speak it better than them.

To the Germans it's a matter of hygiene, not nudism, naturism or voyeurism, and they are totally unconcerned about their bodies and everyone else's.

Eventually the women were told by one of the German ladies to conform or get out, so they went, bleating that "no-one tells us to take our clothes off, innit."

ShyTorque
5th Jun 2012, 17:40
So.... are you a chav or a German lady? :confused:

Capot
5th Jun 2012, 18:00
No, just a British person relaxing between some very tedious meetings, and pretending to be Norwegian, or Swedish, anything but British after overhearing some of the Germans' justified comments about the British!

Milo Minderbinder
5th Jun 2012, 18:12
where's this spa?
Please

Capot
5th Jun 2012, 22:15
There's one in pretty much every decent-sized town. Germans love them.

Worrals in the wilds
5th Jun 2012, 23:06
Eventually the women were told by one of the German ladies to conform or get out, so they went, bleating that "no-one tells us to take our clothes off, innit."
Why on earth did they visit in the first place then? :rolleyes: TBQH it wouldn't be my thing, so I wouldn't go. I'm sure there are plenty of other things to do. Good on the Germans. :ok:

Glad to hear we don't have the monopoly on stupid, yobby tourists, anyway, though we certainly export aot of them:O.

MagnusP
6th Jun 2012, 13:07
kitted out in their Primark bikinis.

When we lived in Coonabarabran, we had a slim blonde friend who crocheted her own bikinis.


Sigh. :ooh:

corsair
6th Jun 2012, 15:05
PS: Currently living in Germany, I experienced an english man in his 40s waiting for his wife inside his car on an Aldi car park. After a few minutes of german stare from every single person walking by, he was short of having some kind of stroke. I sincerely believed he would attack the next passer by. Sadly, I fully understood what he went through. This made me laugh out loud. Some interesting observations there Peter. Great insight.

Funnily enough in terms of staring I found another nationality inclined to stare, Icelanders, not that I'm a pretty girl or even a pretty boy or even pretty. Just normal looking. It was quite disconcerting. On the other hand my wife suffered no such indignity and thought I was imagining it. In the end I concluded they were inclined to stare at obvious foreigners. My wife on the other hand looks scandinavian, blonde etc. One translation of her surname is actually, Viking. In shops she was invariably addressed in Icelandic. I on the other hand was always spoke to in English.

We are all inclined to think that everyone in Europe is culturally similar, that we're somehow merging into a euro culture. Seems it's not so true after all.

Davaar
6th Jun 2012, 18:07
My dear corsair, we lefties know it as multi-culti.

OFSO
6th Jun 2012, 20:38
to whom spa nudity is as natural as dressing warmly in winter to go outside.

So how do Germans deal with members of the Moslem faith ? Here, nudity is par for the course with English, Germans, Spanish, Catalans, etc - in our fitness centre sauna - but Moslem men always wear bathing trunks in the sauna and hot tub. I assume it's part of their beliefs & doesn't bother me, but do Germans look at them for not being nude ?

Worrals in the wilds
6th Jun 2012, 23:43
OFSO, do you have mixed gender nudity in Spain?

I though Middle Eastern baths were traditionally taken nude, though gender segregated. A friend went to one (in Tunisia, from memory) and all the women were naked, which is almost unheard of in Australia. I distinctly remember her mentioning it because she has quite extensive tattoos, and all the Arab women were really curious about them.

Davaar
6th Jun 2012, 23:50
I do believe the "staring" in not uncomon in German Switzerland. I recall a teacher from those parts tell me that she planned an outing with the kiddie-winkles to some spot where she expected they might encounter foreign tourists.

"Do not", she instructed, "Talk about them there and then. Talk about them when we get home".

It befell as foreseen. Some splendid and comment-worthy samples of tourist were spotted.

"Miss!", said one urchin, in German I suppose, but loudly, "We'll talk about THAT one when we get home!"

Milo Minderbinder
7th Jun 2012, 00:02
Well, these two blog sites think they have an answer
"The Germanic Stare Down": Watcha Lookin' at, Granny? - SPIEGEL ONLINE (http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,418068,00.html)
http://berlinblogazine.********.co.uk/2010/02/german-stare.html

Basically the Germans were conditioned during the 1930's and 1940's to spy on and report on their neighbours, and the East Germans carried on under the Stazi
If the theory is correct you have an institutionalised nosy-b'stard mindset thats run through a couple of generations and is now probably self-perpetuating

edit - replace the stars with b-l-o-g-s-p-o-t without the dashes
Why does this forum have these stupid hangups?

G-CPTN
7th Jun 2012, 01:02
Basically the Germans were conditioned during the 1930's and 1940's to spy on and report on their neighbours, and the East Germans carried on under the Stazi
If the theory is correct you have an institutionalised nosy-b'stard mindset thats run through a couple of generations and is now probably self-perpetuating
When we visited East Germany in August 1990, we found that our new English-registered bright red right-hand-drive Peugeot estate car drew absolutely no attention from passers-by when parked among the drab Trabbies. We expected some interest - the sort that a left-hand-drive Italian red Ferrari might attract when parked in a British social-housing area - but, it seems that such things simply 'were not their business' so they totally ignored it wherever it was parked. We never had the slightest response (I speak German so I could have answered any questions that they might have asked).

It was, however, very early in the process of 'freedom' (the towers were still in place along the Iron Curtain - though abandoned, as were the Russian R&R camps in the previously 'closed to locals' town of Bad Berka where we eventually found accommodation at the Stasi Sanatorium), having failed to find anywhere to stay in Weimar despite going 'door-to-door' to 'B&Bs' from a list supplied by my German cousin.

Dresden still had Russian troops patrolling the streets.

We found longer-term accommodation at Pirna with a farmer who now owned his property. He told me that the biggest problem was that after 40 years they now had decisions to make such as what make and model of car to buy - and they could even choose the colour (something that was previously denied them if they wanted to buy a Trabant - they simply paid the money and would be told, years later, that their car was ready for collection). He said that they "weren't ready for such decisions . . . "

A most enlightening experience for us.

We were even allowed to drive through Czechoslovakia (though under strict control of our route, monitored by leather-clad 'agents' with walkie-talkies at every junction until we reached the exit border).

Of course we got 'fleeced' by getting change in Ostmarks for our Deutschmarks payments (the 'official' rate was 10 Ostmarks to the DM), but the prices were so low that we never challenged this.

We never encountered any animosity or staring, indeed, we were treated like Royalty when we stopped at a R&R B&B in the Hartz mountains with the wife fetching fresh meat from the butcher for our breakfast - raw minced pork (in August!). The lady asked whether we had come from England on an aircraft with our car . . .

El Grifo
7th Jun 2012, 08:45
The German tourists visting around here certainly like a good stare at a tragedy !

Wherever a road accident occurs or some poor sod is dragged out of the sea, you can be 100% certain that the emergency services will have to fight through a crowd of staring Germans.

They seem to have no shame whatsoever and group around even tighter when any treatment is being dished out to the victim.

Pretty gross really !!

OFSO
7th Jun 2012, 10:52
a crowd of staring Germans

They are called "Schaulüstige" and whenever there is a crash on the autobahnen, on your car radio you'll get the warning for the crash site and "achtung, opposite direction blocked by "schaulüstige" - sometimes hours after the crashed vehicles have been removed, so great is the press of Germans wanting to see a crash.

OFSO
7th Jun 2012, 10:57
OFSO, do you have mixed gender nudity in Spain?

On beaches, I think so, but not in fitness centres, or not any wot I have been in. Frankly it's not something I ever take any notice of. (Too old, too jaded, always accompanied by wife, etc...)

Last autumn I walked into a sauna in a well-known spa near Redhill U.K. and I was the only person in there who was nude ! I detected some kind of negative thoughts from the other visitors....

chuks
7th Jun 2012, 11:18
There was a story about the two football teams, the German and the English, in the sauna; the Germans were naked and the English were wearing bathing suits, I think, to mutual incomprehension! (In Germany you must be naked and sat upon your towel when you do the sauna.)

I get the hairy German eye now and then, but so what? I just take it to mean that I am so very, very special. Or it might be that t-shirt I sometimes wear, the one that has "What are you staring at, Dick-nose?" written on it. Who knows?

El Grifo
7th Jun 2012, 14:57
Hey Chucks, Long time no hear :ok:

Guess where I'm going on Wednesday?

Yep, you guessed :ok:

El G.

Matari
7th Jun 2012, 22:10
Yikes! Speaking of staring at young girls!

El Grifo
7th Jun 2012, 22:37
Work, 100% Guaranteed

Worrals in the wilds
7th Jun 2012, 22:49
I detected some kind of negative thoughts from the other visitors....Thanks for the info. If you did that in Australia one of the other blokes present would probably ask you to put some clothes on or leave.
I found the Indians are the masters/mistresses of the long, hard stare. It's a bit off putting until you get used to it.