View Full Version : You know its summer because......

29th May 2012, 12:59
Svelte looking ladies in linen dresses, back lit by the sun :E
Beer gardens are now pleasant places to sit
Long evenings sitting in the garden
Water now warm enough to swim in

Large ladies in linen dresses, back lit by the sun
Tractors blocking all the roads, and not pulling over.
2 wheel Taliban (non motorized) riding 3,4,5 abreast
2 wheel Taliban (motorized), thinking that country lanes are the IoM TT
Chavs (bogans), male and female, walking around sans clothes (shorts only)

I am sure there are more pros and cons, but i'm sitting in an office, wishing i was out playing! Please feel free to add.

Alloa Akbar
29th May 2012, 13:08
You had me on point 1 mate, no further clarification required.. :ok:

29th May 2012, 13:08
You know it's summer (in Alt Emporda, Catalunia) because

- the roads are all blocked by French driving at 40 kph....
- shopping in Lidl resembles trying to reserve a room in an hotel booked by a SAGA holiday company....
- German tourists are here, unwashed and trying to work out how much a Spanish euro is worth...

Windy Militant
29th May 2012, 13:16
Beer gardens are now pleasant places to sit

Oh No their not! I mentioned this to mate when I was home recently, years ago we used to sit on the Milk stand over the road from the local to get away from the fug indoors.
Recently I had to retreat indoors from the beer garden of a place I was staying at to get away from the fug! ;)

Water now warm enough to swim in

Obviously you don't come from near the UK coast, if you did you'd know it's at least another month before it's warm enough to swim.
Mind you when I was an apprentice I spent many happy hours watching the tourists trying to emulate JC and walk on water after they'd run into the sea and found out that despite the sand being nice and hot the water was still bleeding taters! :}

Ooh I forgot to add that two hours after the sun comes out your surrounded by extras from that well known B movie "ATTACK OF THE LOBSTER PEOPLE" :ooh:

29th May 2012, 13:44
Obviously you don't come from near the UK coast
From HKG, where the water was always warm, just bloody filthy! Now based on the Kent coast, and was in the water at the W/E.
But i do agree with the lobster people, has no one heard of sun screen!

29th May 2012, 14:14
BBQs are planned weeks in advance
You go to buy a T shirt or shorts and find the shops are full of autumn and winter clothing
Motorways are infested with even more inadequate vehicles and incompetant drivers than normal
Ppruners mock the English summer

29th May 2012, 14:21
. . . it's cloudy outside, the temp is 10C down on yesterday and it rained overnight.

Mind you, yesterday's sunshine provided some entertainment. A young lady ahead of me was wearing shiny tight black leggings, but had forgotten to check whether bright sunlight would expose her frilly white knickers to the public gaze. Ooops.

29th May 2012, 14:24
The snowplough comes off and the lawn deck goes on.
White wine replaces Ale
Getting dressed takes 5 seconds not 5 minutes.

29th May 2012, 14:44
- the roads are all blocked by French driving at 40 kph...

Strange, you would never catch them doing that here. 140kph yes, but 40kph would get you rammed out of the way :confused:

29th May 2012, 14:53
........ the tops get tighter and the shorts get shorter.

And a lot of the wummin do the same!

29th May 2012, 15:05
.........calamine lotion sales figures rocket.

29th May 2012, 15:12
Large ladies in linen dresses, back lit by the sun
Tractors blocking all the roads, and not pulling over.
2 wheel Taliban (non motorized) riding 3,4,5 abreast
2 wheel Taliban (motorized), thinking that country lanes are the IoM TT
Chavs (bogans), male and female, walking around sans clothes (shorts only)

Or, as seen over here earlier today, a couple out heading to one of the local Union offices (prolly something to do with their dole money).

Him, black vest, black shorts, red skin. Lots of red skin due to blubber level.

Her. Black sleeveless top, dirty white shorts that looked like she'd just fallen in a river that were also too tight for her "Bibendum" style body. Red skin.

You don't have to be in Britain to suffer............ :yuk:

tony draper
29th May 2012, 15:14
Bumblebee rescue kit deployed three times in two days,stupid critters they bees be being.

29th May 2012, 15:22
...while me, a Scotsman, strips down to (tasteful) shorts and short sleeve shirts, the indigenous locals are still wearing body warmers.

Doctor Cruces
29th May 2012, 15:47
....when my next door neighbour spends three hours every other night cutting his grass with what sounds like an old MRD (Machine, Runway De-icer for those not old enough to remember) making it impossible for anyone else to enjoy their gardens.

I think I'm turning into a curmudgeon!


29th May 2012, 16:44

29th May 2012, 17:11
Gordy, you da man! :ok:

29th May 2012, 18:52
Pro -


Con -


Pro -


Con -


Pro -

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVO8MqCkvjv6Lbr7rK4epmqYPlIHS7urPGoo82K7G TPSJj6ptV

Con -


29th May 2012, 20:09
(tasteful) shorts
:confused:? I've always thought it's more about what's inside them (or rather, left out maybe)? Shorts are just shorts, aren't they?

Richard Taylor
29th May 2012, 20:24
Nights start drawing in next month.

29th May 2012, 20:27
. . . . . the day temps are such that you can easily fry an egg on the bonnet of a black car that is parked in the sun!!



30th May 2012, 10:00
The poms start whingeing in Karratha (http://rachelhenwood.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/funny-diary-of-a-pommie-in-western-australia-life-in-perth-what-its-really-like/)! :p

Alloa Akbar
30th May 2012, 10:20
Nice one Slasher :ok:

You know its summer because in England the olympic friggin torch is coming through my town today which means it'll take hours to get home tonight.. held up by some middle aged wannabe runner who thinks he's Usain Bolt, who will then capitalise on my protracted journey time by selling the frickin torch on e-bay for a hundred and fifty grand..:mad:

30th May 2012, 10:54
...the days are longer, the nights shorter, and the average daily temperatures are higher. :rolleyes:

30th May 2012, 11:36
.....the rain gets warmer.

30th May 2012, 13:16
Lovely sunny day up here, 50F at Kirkwall airport.
Sunrise: 4:10 am
Sunset: 10:05 pm

30th May 2012, 13:54
You bingle your car in Tesco's car park watching scantily clad females.

You spend the next half hour in close proximity to them so you really don't care.

30th May 2012, 15:06
........the ice cube maker in the freezer cannot keep up with the cool drink requirements.

30th May 2012, 15:24
You know it's summer in the U.S. State of Connecticrap because:

1. Elderly/retired folks think the best time to do some sight-seeing is during rush hour. (Excuse me but can someone tell me why an 80 year old is on the road at 07:00?)

2. It's raining.

3. The crime rates in such illustrious CT cities such as New Haven, Hartford, Bridgeport et al sky rocket.

4. Normal "traffic" on I-95 in CT goes from 8 mile delays to 32 mile delays.

5. It's raining.

6. CT beaches become sardine cans. So what if the water is polluted and fish die by the ton?

7. The citizens become even more obnoxiously louder than they already are.

8. It's raining.

Lon More
30th May 2012, 16:59
Scots, like the rest of the UK, talk a lot about the weather. This is hardly surprising - as the hoary old joke so accurately says "If you don't like the weather in Scotland, wait half an hour and it will change". On a "dreich" (wet, dismal) day there may not be a blink of sun and on others it may be "mochie" (warm and damp) and on still others a "simmer cowt" (a heat haze). Of course rain is often a feature ranging from a thunder "plump" (down-pour of rain) making everyone "drookit" (drenched) and producing lots of "dubs" (puddles) and will go into a "burn" (small stream or brook). There may be a more gentle "smirr" (light rain) or there may be an East Coast "haar" (mist from the sea). In winter time, when there are "wreaths" (drifts of snow) and the "snell" (bitingly cold) wind makes everone "fair jeelit" (cold as ice) at least the children can enjoy skiting (sliding) on the ice in a "hunker-slide" (sliding in a crouched position).

It is not always "rainin' auld wives and pipe staples" (heavy rain) or a "pish-oot" (a down-pour) with a "sump" (a great fall of rain). Then again there can be a "thunder-plump" (sudden thunder shower) or a "gandiegow" (heavy shower). Of course, sometimes the weather is just "plowtery" (showery) with a "smirr" (very light rain) or a "dreep" (steady fall of light rain) or a "dribble" (drizzle). Along with the rain it can be "attery" (stormy) with a "blenter" or "flaff" (gusty wind) . The "tousle" (blustery) wind can often feel "snell" (biting). All this wind and rain can produce a "linn" (a torrent or waterfall) and can make us all "droukit" (drenched) and "draggled" (bedraggled) and feel "dowie" (dismal) as we trudge through the "glaur" (mud/mire) or a "sclutter" or "slaister" (messy wetness). The rain may create a "stank" (small stagnant water) while in Glasgow the "stank" is the storm drain in the street. In Perth, the storm drain is called a "condie" (derived, it is said, from the French "conduire"). Then again it may just be "grulie" (unsettled) or even "leesome" (fine) with a "pirl" (gentle breeze). And after the next "plype" (sudden heavy shower) there may even be a "watergow" (a fragmentary rainbow!).

A wide range of weather types are included below.

"Auld wives and pike staves" - raining cats and dogs.
"Banff bailies" - snowy white clouds on the horizon which are considered to be omens of bad weather. (Banff is a town on the north coast of Aberdeenshire).
"Bobantilter" - an icicle
"Bullet stanes" - hailstones.
"Feeding storm" - a storm which adds more snow to that which is already lying on the ground.
"Gab o' May" - stormy weather at the start of May.
"Gandiegow" - a squall or heavy shower.
"Goat's hair" - cirrus clouds.
"Gowk's storm" - a storm in springtime which arrives at the same time as the "gowk" or cuckoo
"Greetie" - showery. The normal meaning of "Greet" is to cry.
"Haar" - an east coast mist which swirls inland. There are occasions when you cannot see Edinburgh Castle from the street below because of the "haar".
"Lauchin' rain" - literally, "laughing rain" is a long shower of rain from an apparently clear sky.
"Liddesdale drow" - a wetting drizzle, no doubt often experienced in this area of southern Scotland.
"Pirr" - a gentle puff of wind.
"Rumballiach" - tempestuous.
"Snell" - bitingly cold.
"Spindrift" - spray whipped up by the wind.
"Skirl" - high pitched sound of strong wind.
"Sough" - a murmur of wind.
Here are a few Scots words about being warm. Since there were so few such words (!) there are also words about being cold too...

"Birsle" - to warm thoroughly.
"Cauldrife" - pronounced 'cawldrif' it means likely to feel cold. A "cauldrife craitur" is someone who has a cold manner and shows indifference.
"Chitter" - to shiver with the cold. A "chitterin' bite" is a snack or sweet after a swim and is supposed to prevent catching a cold.
"Cosie" - warm and comfortable and well wrapped up. Hence a "tea cosie", the cover for a pot of tea.
"Glaise" - a warm at the fire.
"Mochie" - warm humid weather. The word is from the Norse 'mugga' meaning mist.
"Perished wi' the cauld" - freezing.
"Roastit" or "sweltrie"- uncomfortably hot.

tony draper
30th May 2012, 18:00
What we dont have in UK Summers
Plagues of Locusts
Poisonous Serpents
Big Hairy Spiders

30th May 2012, 19:58
You know its summer because......

Ladies are wearing white. (Even if they shouldn't.)


30th May 2012, 20:10
" You know its summer because......

Ladies are wearing white. (Even if they shouldn't.) "

Could be worse...............it could be wearing shorts ............:yuk::yuk:

Milo Minderbinder
30th May 2012, 20:15
its slipped hasn't it?
or is she wearing it back to front?

30th May 2012, 21:45
Maybe its not there for the usual reasons, could have been a good curry last night.

31st May 2012, 01:54
Could be worse...............it could be wearing shorts ..........

Yer on.


31st May 2012, 06:30
to balance the heat posted by Slash:
Data's Jokes - Diary Of Wisconsin & Arizona (http://www.homebuilt.org/cmdrdata/jokes/04/0171.html)

thanks for the deeply educating post, Lon! (seriously, too :ok:)

Pigboat - what interesting interests you've got? :E

Lon More
31st May 2012, 11:54
Thanks Probes. I was looking for a Scottish ersion of the Wisconsin one. Unfortunately it was without a glossary.
There's a complete Scottish dictionary there; Google Parliamo Scottish IIRC

DX Wombat
31st May 2012, 12:01
The swifts have stopped spending all day screaming and wheeling around the skies and have settled down to nest.

31st May 2012, 14:40

Are those "beauties" you featured local to you or international ?

31st May 2012, 14:46
On my last sortie to the shops in the UK on a summer's day (earlier this week) the scantily clad females looked like this, in fact, a lot worse! And that was in Weybridge. I shudder to think what I might have seen in Crawley or Luton or Swindon!


31st May 2012, 16:19
Lon - thanks, practicing Pan loaf and working on me rrr-s :p!

31st May 2012, 17:08
AS those are mostly international, although the local WM would afford an ample supply of material. :p

Milo Minderbinder
31st May 2012, 19:52
this is more the kind of summer picture I like
anyone know where it is?


31st May 2012, 19:57
Nice horses . . .

31st May 2012, 20:04
Hyde Park, apparently.

From LADY GADIVA NAKED PHOTOCALL from National News, News c/o Media Storehouse: Wall Art, Prints and Photo Gifts (http://www.mediastorehouse.com/lady_gadiva_naked_photocall/print/1066787.html)

Londoners were treated to quite a stir today when twenty women stripped off their clothing and rode through Hyde Park naked
The occasion was to raise money for Maggie's Cancer Support Centre and launch the release of Lady Gadiva on DVD.

31st May 2012, 20:05
They can't even spell her name correctly. Pathetic!

31st May 2012, 20:20
.... because Hartford, Connecticrap just had its 10th homicide of the year. New Haven, Connecticrap is snipping at its heels.

Ahhhh, summer in Connecticut. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping, the laughter of children outdoors and playing (guarded, of course, by the US Army's 10th Mountain Division.)

The sounds of gunfire and stabbings. Screams and cries of pain. Muggers and rapists running rampant through the streets. The sounds of summer in CT. Nothing quite like it.

Milo Minderbinder
31st May 2012, 20:20
d'ye think they're fillies?