grip pipe
29th May 2012, 00:47
This week in OZ produced a wonderful series of events that all related to things aeronautical and none were pressaged by dancing or singing from little Albo the fat circus clown who lives down the road from the old ETA factory in sunny Sydney. In that vein it is perhaps time to abandon the metaphor and wonderful allegory of Circus life and now look at what reality has in fact produced, here in OZ, entertainment pure and simple, yes dear punters and those afflicted with the terminal condition of aviation, welcome, welcome to 'Bollockswood'. Mining news to come later.
There can be no doubt that what we thought was a circus and a very good adaptation it was, with freckling, hire wire acts, animals, dwarfs and smurfs but no bearded women was giving hints to the changes afoot. The borrowing of Harper Lees soliloquies by little Craigie, Albo's borrowing from the West Wing, little bill shorty from 'Get Shorty', not to mention the various covers of 'dummer and dummer' , that this was all leading to Oz's new reality TV and film production company; 'Bollockswood'. We are yet to see if it will be replaced by the local adaptations of the Chinese Opera from the middle kingdom by the competition the Liberal Film Company. The source of entertainment shifting from Hollywood to the east and Bollywood and now on to Bollockswood is part of the universes grand plan. With Bollockswood new film making facilites, film and soapies can be produced almost daily. Chuck in some work from Hong Kong stars then anything is possible really. Local punters will realise that doing Paul Hogan impersonations is not going to get you a gig at Bollockswood.
Refined readers and knowlegable in the ways of the sub-contintent will know that all productions from Bollockswood have no plot, involve lots of flash dancing and singing generally to a sitar and the promise of things to come but alas no kissing The colours are gorgeous and there are generally lots of flowers. The whole things is generally so over the top it would even give Baz Luhrmann the shivers. The eating of curries is mandatory and a national pastime. So it was, the Girrard gave a fine rendition of love betrayed on hearing that Gina was to be given a townload of builder-wallahs for a new mining play, Surfer Wayne stopped bagging the miners and anybody who made money by doing things and a new cast of FIFO's was introduced for things where there are really big holes in the ground, the wild west. This it seems is the main theme of all new productions which will be churned out weekly in true Bollywood speed and finesse. 14 million viewers a day is nothing to be sneased at either, think of the franchise opportunities!
Anyway back to matters aeronautical or should we say mining and bulk carrier shipping. It is now clear that the aviation world is being turned upside down, the Virgin is going to grace international skies and the roo has been turned into the Qantas Mining Company and is retiring to service the FIFO and mining markets. a premium mining company executive service based on the A380 will still operate to hubs at New Delhi, Beijing, Tokyo, Johannesburg and of course the home of Hollywood, LA. Qantas Mining has also set up a special catering service, Orange Star and the Pavlovas set to work gathering produce from the Apple Isle. To help with the inflight menu's at the Pavlova, Thai take-away specialists have been engaged to help. As in all things in real life, truth was out in regards to the carrying's on of the hired help called management at the Pavlova and Qantas Mining, thanks to the good folk at Fair Work Enterprises ( This was about the time little Craigie realised he was not Atticus Finch but Tom Robinson and he failed the audition for Bollockswood, having lacked the required zing). St. Alan of Qantas Mining was keen to see if the overheads on the 787 would fit fifo backpacks and kit and at last got to see how big a 787 was. Rest of us hope Boeing has got its something together now. St. Alan is still unclear whether pavlova or roo is better for fifo and backpacker work but the bus service called Citi-flyer will be retained. So it was the week ended with news that EBQ had somehow sunk a metre into the dirt at Longreach despite being supported by tons of concrete and ominously the old girl will have to be dug out of the hole. A lot of mining equipment is required and involved. Some felt the need to cast our eyes skyward for any other propitous signs that may be evident in the heavens other than contrails. All worthy of a Bollockswood movie. So dear readers now know what is going on and what is required for to get an audition rather than be set to finding the 'new economy' which continues to gather in followers.
Stay tuned, the plots songs and goings on of Bollockswood are sure to entertain. What's going to happen to the Circus animals you ask, well, we are not sure what is going to happen with the legendary CASA donkey troupe, my guess, is they will be classed as a sacred animal and thus be be left to roam of no use to anybody, as you can't eat them, they produce bugger all milk and just drops loads of dung patties, which you have to dodge especially if airborne or thinking about it.
Til next week, yep it is all bollocks and now it's Bollockswood.
There can be no doubt that what we thought was a circus and a very good adaptation it was, with freckling, hire wire acts, animals, dwarfs and smurfs but no bearded women was giving hints to the changes afoot. The borrowing of Harper Lees soliloquies by little Craigie, Albo's borrowing from the West Wing, little bill shorty from 'Get Shorty', not to mention the various covers of 'dummer and dummer' , that this was all leading to Oz's new reality TV and film production company; 'Bollockswood'. We are yet to see if it will be replaced by the local adaptations of the Chinese Opera from the middle kingdom by the competition the Liberal Film Company. The source of entertainment shifting from Hollywood to the east and Bollywood and now on to Bollockswood is part of the universes grand plan. With Bollockswood new film making facilites, film and soapies can be produced almost daily. Chuck in some work from Hong Kong stars then anything is possible really. Local punters will realise that doing Paul Hogan impersonations is not going to get you a gig at Bollockswood.
Refined readers and knowlegable in the ways of the sub-contintent will know that all productions from Bollockswood have no plot, involve lots of flash dancing and singing generally to a sitar and the promise of things to come but alas no kissing The colours are gorgeous and there are generally lots of flowers. The whole things is generally so over the top it would even give Baz Luhrmann the shivers. The eating of curries is mandatory and a national pastime. So it was, the Girrard gave a fine rendition of love betrayed on hearing that Gina was to be given a townload of builder-wallahs for a new mining play, Surfer Wayne stopped bagging the miners and anybody who made money by doing things and a new cast of FIFO's was introduced for things where there are really big holes in the ground, the wild west. This it seems is the main theme of all new productions which will be churned out weekly in true Bollywood speed and finesse. 14 million viewers a day is nothing to be sneased at either, think of the franchise opportunities!
Anyway back to matters aeronautical or should we say mining and bulk carrier shipping. It is now clear that the aviation world is being turned upside down, the Virgin is going to grace international skies and the roo has been turned into the Qantas Mining Company and is retiring to service the FIFO and mining markets. a premium mining company executive service based on the A380 will still operate to hubs at New Delhi, Beijing, Tokyo, Johannesburg and of course the home of Hollywood, LA. Qantas Mining has also set up a special catering service, Orange Star and the Pavlovas set to work gathering produce from the Apple Isle. To help with the inflight menu's at the Pavlova, Thai take-away specialists have been engaged to help. As in all things in real life, truth was out in regards to the carrying's on of the hired help called management at the Pavlova and Qantas Mining, thanks to the good folk at Fair Work Enterprises ( This was about the time little Craigie realised he was not Atticus Finch but Tom Robinson and he failed the audition for Bollockswood, having lacked the required zing). St. Alan of Qantas Mining was keen to see if the overheads on the 787 would fit fifo backpacks and kit and at last got to see how big a 787 was. Rest of us hope Boeing has got its something together now. St. Alan is still unclear whether pavlova or roo is better for fifo and backpacker work but the bus service called Citi-flyer will be retained. So it was the week ended with news that EBQ had somehow sunk a metre into the dirt at Longreach despite being supported by tons of concrete and ominously the old girl will have to be dug out of the hole. A lot of mining equipment is required and involved. Some felt the need to cast our eyes skyward for any other propitous signs that may be evident in the heavens other than contrails. All worthy of a Bollockswood movie. So dear readers now know what is going on and what is required for to get an audition rather than be set to finding the 'new economy' which continues to gather in followers.
Stay tuned, the plots songs and goings on of Bollockswood are sure to entertain. What's going to happen to the Circus animals you ask, well, we are not sure what is going to happen with the legendary CASA donkey troupe, my guess, is they will be classed as a sacred animal and thus be be left to roam of no use to anybody, as you can't eat them, they produce bugger all milk and just drops loads of dung patties, which you have to dodge especially if airborne or thinking about it.
Til next week, yep it is all bollocks and now it's Bollockswood.