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tony draper
25th May 2012, 12:59
Seems to the new in phrase to whip out alongside
'Lessons will be learned'
among guvmint functionaries now.
:rolleyes:

Storminnorm
25th May 2012, 16:10
If the Guvmint blokes were all to get really busy learning
"New lessons" they won't have any time left for Guvminting.

MIGHT be a damn good idea.

sisemen
25th May 2012, 17:16
It's been going on for ages Drapes - I can't remember how long :E

BILL CLINTON was the master of the ''I don't recall'' defence. In the Paula Jones sexual harassment case, his deposition reportedly resorted to this answer 267 times.

In fact, he used those exact words only eight times. But the then US president uttered 71 ''I don't remembers'', 62 ''I don't knows'', 17 ''I'm not sures'', six ''I don't have any specific recollections'' And so on.

That was 1998. Four years earlier, Australia's corporate fraudster Alan Bond was practising the art of courtroom memory loss at his bankruptcy hearing. Reporters couldn't keep count of his ''I don't knows'', ''I just can't remembers'' and ''I don't recalls''.

Bond offered the excuse that a succession of minor strokes had caused the brain damage that robbed his memory. But it went with the territory in Western Australia. In 1995, during the royal commission that investigated events surrounding the suicide of Perth lawyer Penny Easton, the former WA premier, Carmen Lawrence, managed 19 ''I don't recalls''.

And the crooked former premier Brian Burke had repeated memory lapses at the WA Inc royal commission. Once he suggested helpfully: ''I don't recall the detail but I can speculate if you want''.

Read more: Memory loss and public hearings | Bill Clinton | Carmen Lawrence | Alan Bond | Graham Richardson | Brian Burke | Rick Feneley (http://www.smh.com.au/national/total-unrecall--many-strange-cases-of-missing-memory-20091019-h4zf.html#ixzz1vtmjyKlH)

Ancient Observer
25th May 2012, 18:00
The problem with my "I don't remembers" when I was young is that both the ladies and the men then felt free to tell me what I did........

ArthurR
25th May 2012, 18:33
I Don't remember what I was going to say!

G-CPTN
25th May 2012, 19:54
My medium and long-term memory seems reasonable, but what bothers me is the very short-term memory, such as deciding what to do next and then being unable to recall exactly what it was that I was going to do . . .

Milo Minderbinder
25th May 2012, 20:40
Best example of this kind of thing is possibly Ernest Saunder's remarkable recovery from the incurable "pre-senile dementia"....

Solid Rust Twotter
25th May 2012, 21:50
What.....?

tony draper
25th May 2012, 22:02
The shorthand writer at the Levison enquirery probably has a special symbol for the phrase 'I dont remember now'
:)

Shack37
26th May 2012, 00:03
The shorthand writer at the Levison enquirery probably has a special symbol for the phrase 'I dont remember now'


Something like this I imagine.....:confused:

gingernut
26th May 2012, 01:33
Nice observation Mr D. :)

ExSp33db1rd
26th May 2012, 10:24
.. . .being unable to recall exactly what it was that I was going to do . . .

or recalling exactly where one had parked ones' car ?

( experienced that recently, the girl in the hardware store didn't know, either )

603DX
26th May 2012, 10:39
My favourite example of a faulty memory is the punchline to that well known joke about the old man with the gorgeous and very eager young wife, who when asked why he was weeping, sobbed "I can't remember where I live!" :uhoh:

Ancient Observer
26th May 2012, 15:01
Why is this screen in front of me? What was I going to write?

beaufort1
26th May 2012, 15:18
I used to have a wonderful memory until I contracted glandular fever in my 40's. Short term memory is terrible and SWMBO used to rely on me to remember things. All I can say is thank goodness for 'post-it' notes, they are stuck to everything in our house. :O

ricardian
26th May 2012, 16:09
A friend visited the NEC some years ago, he made a particular mental note that he was parked right next to a flagpole. When he came out he realised that there were flagpoles in the car park every 100 yards or so...

G-CPTN
26th May 2012, 16:15
Some years ago I visited Ford's Headquarters.

Only Ford cars were allowed-in to use the on-site car park.

As it was pouring with torrential rain I grabbed my briefcase and made a run to the reception.

After the meeting I emerged to find row upon row of Ford cars and couldn't locate my car.

After considerable time I returned to the reception where I discovered a different path which headed-off in another direction to yet more parking - where I eventually found my car.

allan907
26th May 2012, 16:43
Two old couples are sitting in the pub and having a nice natter over a drink - as you do. While the wives were talking knitting patterns and recipes the guys were chatting about the good times.

"We went out for a really nice meal in a pub last week", says one of the guys.

"Which pub was that?" says the other

"Ermm. Plant, something to do with plants"

"Not the Bunch of Grapes?"

"No, no not that one. Smells. Nice smell"

"The Daffodil?"

"No, red. Red colour"

"The Tulip?"

"No. It's got spikes"

"Ah, The Rose!"

"Yes, that's the one" and turns to his wife..

"Rose, what's the name of that pub we had that meal at last week?"

Juliet Sierra Papa
26th May 2012, 20:31
allan907 :D:D:D

I was going to reply earlier but I forgot.

:ok:

vulcanised
26th May 2012, 20:41
Instead of forgetting, don't the hip trendy yoof of today 'misremember' ?

Solar
26th May 2012, 22:35
With regards to losing cars in car parks a mate made an observation recently which has some validity. Hard as it can be to remember where the car is parked during the summer months it ten time worse in the snow as all cars nowadays have the same shape. A few years ago different makes could be distingushed by their shapes, not any more.

Gargleblaster
26th May 2012, 22:54
If low on memory, switch to selective memory, works quite well for me.

Regarding Ford automobiles, had a colleague whose friend was to borrow his 70s Cortina, the friend obtained the keys and went to the parking lot and drove off, only to get arrested later that day for car theft. He had picked the wrong one, but the keys worked. Apparently you could pretty much open and drive any Ford with any Ford key...

G-CPTN
26th May 2012, 23:18
Hard as it can be to remember where the car is parked during the summer months it ten time worse in the snow as all cars nowadays have the same shape.I've heard of drivers clearing the snow from their car - only to discover that it wasn't their car!

Regarding keys - the same happened to me when my 'friend' went out of the pub and drove my BMC car away! His keys fitted my car.

parabellum
26th May 2012, 23:19
Back to the eighties. A colleague in Air Europe was fed up getting back from a five day trip and not being able to find his car so one day he arrived and attached a large, white, Helium filled balloon to it, not a weather balloon but tougher than the average party balloon, could be seen for miles. Colleague underestimated the waggishness of those who use staff car parks! When he got back there were at least a dozen white balloons all bobbing in the breeze!


I once bought a book on improving the memory and then forgot to read it!
(hat, coat, taxi!).:sad:

ExSp33db1rd
27th May 2012, 00:16
Just before my Mother died a few years ago, I visited the UK and parked the hire car in the multi-storey car park at the town shopping centre. Came back and couldn't find it, assumed memory deficiency but to cut a few hours off this story eventually assumed that it had been stolen.

The local hire company sympathised and speedily delivered another. Three days later that was stolen overnight from the driveway outside Mother's house.

Two months later I returned and asked the same hire company if they were still prepared to rent to me ! No problem they said, we're insured and anyway we have recovered the second one that you lost - and brought it around again.

That night it was broken into, but I had removed the distributor rotor arm so they couldn't start it - the hire company told me to - but not before they had broken a window and left blood on the drivers seat. The Police reckoned that having proved easy to break into once, the same Youffs had recognised it and had another go, and could they take it away for investigation of the blood ? Next day that told me that they had taken it to their forensic investigation site some 20 miles away and I could now go and collect it. How? I now have no car 'cos you took it, you took it away, you bring it back and I'll get the bus in to town and collect it from your police station. No, they said, but if we have a patrol car going that way we'll give you a lift, which they eventually did. The only time I've had a ride in a real Police car with siren blaring - almost worth all the trouble !

Passing through a South Yorkshire village, the driver remarked that there wasn't a single TV set, or Stereo radio equipment, left in any of the houses -all been nicked.

From then on I removed the distributor rotor everytime I parked anywhere,

I'm not in a hurry to return to the UK.

mini
27th May 2012, 02:06
removed the distributor rotor arm

Must have been a looong time ago...:E

ExSp33db1rd
28th May 2012, 08:29
Must have been a looong time ago..

Yes - but have things changed ? (other then car ignition systems, but then my present car still has a distributor and rotor arm - still works, and I understand how ! )