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garp
6th May 2012, 08:13
http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/2095/schermafbeelding2012050o.png

A few more reviews:

Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml: Amazon.co.uk: Health & Beauty

Worrals in the wilds
6th May 2012, 08:32
Any product that is able to dissolve hair comes very close to being able to dissolve skin. :eek:

Better off with wax, if looking prepubescent is your thing.

Lon More
6th May 2012, 09:31
at 5.99 it's still cheaper than a kick in the nuts at your local BDSM emporium

stuckgear
6th May 2012, 09:40
at 5.99 it's still cheaper than a kick in the nuts at your local BDSM emporium


and still half the price of a 4 pack of Turbo3Mach4Glide5Aloe16-MK4 blades

Tableview
6th May 2012, 09:42
I recently underwent minor surgery and was asked to remove the hair from my stomach using one of these creams. Why the f... they couldn't have let me do it with a razor I don't know. I'll know better next time, I'd rather do it by plucking out each hair with a pair of rusty pliers.

Just buying the cream was embarassing enough, but I suppose pharmacies are used to everything so that wasn't too much of a problem. Then I had to hide it until the day before the op from my o/h in case she got the idea I was dressing up in drag on nights out.

I opened the stuff whilst in the bath and was assailed by the pungent stench. I spread it onto the appropriate area and it began to itch, then sting, then felt as if it was on fire. The instructions said to leave it on for 5 minutes. Jees, that must have been the longest 5 minutes of my life. I probably gave up after 2 and applied copious amounts of cold water to get rid of the burn and as a side effect, wash away the 'melted' hair which left a thick scummy coating on the bath. The bathroom stank for 24 hours afterwards. Now the hair is growing back and itchy.

I am so glad I am not a woman (or a drag queen). I do however hold them in greater respect now than before.

McGoonagall
6th May 2012, 09:44
My daughter for her sins is a beautician and tells me she dreads this time of year. It seems that every thatch that has been neglected over the winter is now off on holiday and has to be waxed, shaped, depilated, bejewelled or otherwise rejuvenated enough for a swimsuit to be worn. I have to refrain from passing comments such as asking has she been up to her elbows in work today.

sisemen
6th May 2012, 14:02
Ingredients


Aqua
Urea
Potassium Thioglycolate
Calcium Hydroxide
Cetearyl Alcohol
Ceteareth-20
PPG-15 Stearyl Ether
Magnesium Trisilicate
Potassium Hydroxide
Propylene Glycol
Lithium Magnesium Sodium Silicate
Paraffinum Liquidum
Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis Oil
Acrylates Copolymer
Aloe Barbadensis
Sodium Gluconate
BHT
Hydrated Silica
Parfum
Hexyl Cinnamal
Butylphenyl Methylpropional
Alpha-Isomethyl Ionone
CI 77891

They don't piss about with that stuff do they?

G-CPTN
6th May 2012, 14:12
I had to remove the hair from my chest (and armpits) prior to a major surgical operation, and I boldly informed the nurse that I would manage this myself.
Manage I did, but the scraping of the razor-blade left my armpits raw - however the post-operative morphia helped to relieve the pain.

FlyerFoto
6th May 2012, 14:26
Just out of interest, Garp, is there a particular reason you were looking at reviews in the first place?

I think the world of Pprune needs to know.....

OFSO
6th May 2012, 16:29
My wife bought me some devilish Atheletes Foot spray from Boots for use on a patch of Candida (the fungas not the musical) under my arm and I thought it might be good on one's feet (given the name). That was before I read the insructions, which I did, after my toenails disappeared.

And found "do not spray on nails" enscribed therein.

The strange thing was that I didn't have any fungus on my feet, I just thought that given the description I might see what happened if I sprayed it there.

And now, I know. If you didn't have fungus beforehand, you won't afterwards, either, nor any toenails.

Pre-surgery hair removal: had a rather super red-headed nurse do this to me in Germany. As she started I thought it might be fun. All such ideas were dispersed when she mentioned that she and the other nurses use to have competitions to see who could shave a male patient the fastest, and carefully pulling my winkle to one side she demonstrated on me - with a cut-throat razor - her winning speeds.

"Shrank away in horror" is the description I'd use. If fact I don't think it ever returned to it's presurgery size.

G-CPTN
6th May 2012, 16:45
For anyone with fungal discolouration of their toenails, ask your GP to prescribe Terbinafine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terbinafine).
You need to take it for a few months but it works miracles.

Milo Minderbinder
6th May 2012, 17:16
The urea is not the problem. That stuff is fed to cattle as a dietary supplement.

The problems in that list of ingredients are
Potassium Thioglycolate
Calcium Hydroxide

Both are corrosive to skin
The calcium hydroxide makes the hair alkaline and opens up the hair structure allowing the thiglycollate - the active ingredient - to break down the disulphide links in the hair protein, effectively making it fall apart
A similar process is used in perming hair - except there you remake the disulphide links in a new position using hydrogen peroxide

stuckgear
6th May 2012, 18:27
just thought that given the description I might see what happened if I sprayed it there


ahh OFSO the big factor in many wonderous events..

i wonder what'll if i spray this, there / press this button / light a match now / point this there and pull trigger..

the second to biggest factor is punctuated with the statement hey y'all / everybody, watch this...

garp
6th May 2012, 21:18
Just out of interest, Garp, is there a particular reason you were looking at reviews in the first place?

I think the world of PPRuNe needs to know.....

I swear it was during a random excursion. Nothing to see here. :O

OFSO
7th May 2012, 11:12
Syrian secret police endorse male hair remover


'Most prisoners confessed within five minutes of the first application'

pudoc
7th May 2012, 11:15
This is my favourite:

5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
By Andrew - See all my reviews
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

Mac the Knife
7th May 2012, 11:21
Hairless bollocks?

What a bunch of metrosexual freaks you all are!

Serves the idiot right - pity they didn't fall off.

Mac

:cool:

OFSO
7th May 2012, 11:50
What if: the big factor in many wonderous events..

But of course ! Think of the first man who gobbled an oyster......Total insanity, but he did it and gave pleasure to millions.....

Tableview
7th May 2012, 11:54
Think of the first man who gobbled an oyster......Total insanity, but he did it and gave pleasure to millions....
Just the thought of that makes me feel nauseous. I have never been able to see why people eat those things, or indeed any molluscs.

Lon More
7th May 2012, 13:32
I once almost persuaded an ex GF to go for the full Brazilian, her only condition was that I do the same, which was the end of the relationship

Milo Minderbinder
8th May 2012, 13:52
Should've looked here

Find a UK therapist - - waxing4men (http://www.waxing4men.com/find-a-therapist-c12.html)

27mm
8th May 2012, 14:36
What's all this crap about removing hair - I want something that put's it back on! :ouch:

Helol
8th May 2012, 15:29
Man up, the lot of you.

What on earth is going on, when the word 'Veet' is casually mentioned by the male species of this world. The word 'Veet' should be so far under your word radar detector that it's lower than a mole in a hole.

What next? A thread about 'American Tan'? The mind boggles.

Oysters, on the other hand...

Milo Minderbinder
8th May 2012, 17:41
American Tan?
Home - American Tan Rabbit Specialty Club (http://www.atrsc.org/)
You're supposed to shave pussy cats not bunny rabbits

david1300
15th Jun 2012, 02:32
Some of the comments after this blog post are pure gold.

Dear Makers Of Vagisil Feminine Wash,
I just saw the ad for your product and did some reading-up on it online (because I’m cluey like that) and excuse the pun but I think it stinks.
Vagisil Feminine Wash has been specifically designed by you to cleanse down-there lady-parts, yes? You claim Vagisil wash “doesn’t just clean away odour, it helps stop it from happening.” What sort of odour are we talking about here, exactly?
Because if you’re talking about the normal, natural smell of a vagina I’m pretty sure the only way to stop that from happening would be to see to it that the owner/operator of that particular vagina expired. As in, dead.
Because you see, living (breathing?) vaginas have their own particular smell. And that’s perfectly normal. And here’s another doozie: so does the healthy tackle of blokes. Perhaps you weren’t aware of this? Maybe that’s why I’m not seeing your ads for cock-wash?Because surely, if wangs have a smell like shmoos do, then surely you should make a special wash for them, too. Why market a product that’s obviously suitable for everyone to only half the population? (Provided, of course, people aren’t getting anywhere by using normal soap?)
Actually, now that I think of it, could you tell me: apart from the word “feminine” and some swirly pastels on the packaging, how does Vagisil Feminine Wash differ from normal soap, exactly? Oh, that’s right – normal soap doesn’t make women, specifically, feel inherently dirty. In the downstairs.
Vagisil Feminine Wash does, by its very existence and the fact that there’s no equivalent for blokes.

So, allow me to help you out. I asked around a bit and had a think (I get my best ideas in the shower while furiously scrubbing my nether regions) and I’ve come up with some ideas for Penisil Masculine Wash.
That is, if you like that name. A Twitter friend suggested “Dick Douche” but I didn’t really like that. First I thought it wasn’t subtle enough but then I thought it sounded like it might be the name of a comic book character.
Vagisil Feminine Wash has a “light and clean” scent, right? (By the way, do you mean “clean” as in just-washed…with soap?) I’m assuming you did some market research and found “light and clean” to be a smell that most women find pleasant? Well, I did some market research, too, and Penisil Masculine Wash smells like crispy bacon. (In fact, you should have made Vagisil wash smell like that: everyone knows a lot of people just love eating bacon!)
Your product is apparently “safe and gentle enough to use every day” (unlike soap, which is of course highly dangerous and may cause death when used regularly on human bodies.) Well, blokes don’t want safe, gentle, daily use. They want something a little more fun that needs doing a little less often.
That’s why Penisil Masculine Wash is designed to be used occasionally, like sheep dip. The male method of use is also similar here: simply fill a small tub or Tupperware with Penisil and dip that dick (I would have called it Dick Dip but that sounded like something you might pass around with Savoy crackers at a really sick party.)
Finally, you champion Vagisil Feminine Wash as “the confident clean” (again as opposed to soap, which just leaves my already insecurity-prone vagina feeling confused and frightened.) Well I’m telling everyone that Penisil Masculine Wash is “the clean you want when someone makes you think your knob is unnaturally noxious and soap just won’t do the trick.” Too wordy?
Anyhoo, let me know what you think about my idea. It can’t be any worse than yours.
Sincerely,
Terri.
P.S. When you get a chance, can you also do a special wash for balls? I’m telling you, those little guys are kind of rank.
'Dear Makers Of Feminine Wash...' Mamamia (http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/dear-makers-of-vagisil-feminine-wash/)

Milo Minderbinder
15th Jun 2012, 02:38
you'd need one of these to go with it to get the ultimate male grooming
SMEG-GONE-from The Betty Hubbard Clinic (http://s153139690.websitehome.co.uk/smeg-gone.htm)

while you're at it look up Clitorox and Digi-Sniff on the same website, both are in the same marketing area

Slasher
15th Jun 2012, 03:26
Of course I predictably went to the Cliterox website and the
following testimonial from a medical practitioner convinced
me to order in a few bottles of the stuff for the missus....

Dr. Skcollob Our very own online medical advisor says: "I
would not hesitate to recommend this fantastic product, I
bought some for my wife, and to put it bluntly, her c**t
has never been cleaner or fresher!"

That Digi-Sniff thingy looks quite a very practical tool - but if
Cliterox does its thing I probably won't need to have one.

http://s153139690.websitehome.co.uk/digi-sniff.jpg

Standard Noise
15th Jun 2012, 08:32
A well known high street chemist sells this........

http://i546.photobucket.com/albums/hh427/standardnoise_photo/251058_10150197925966186_4438541_n.jpg

alC
15th Jun 2012, 12:26
I have a testicular ultrasound in a couple of weeks. The doctor said the lump is only a cyst but it does no harm to check....
I'm going to use a safety razor. A much better option than any cream and streets ahead of my wife's offer to crank up the strimmer....

sisemen
15th Jun 2012, 16:00
Those strips are obviously a total waste of money. Why do they only remove 24 hairs at a time??

rgbrock1
15th Jun 2012, 17:08
As a member of the male species with copious amounts of body hair, which I intend on leaving as is, I often question why a man would want to shave off his hair. (Aside from his head that is.)

Each to his own I suppose but I find a man shaving off his hair, um, questionable.
I'm sure there are some valid reasons but to do so voluntarily? Don't know about that.

rgbrock1
15th Jun 2012, 17:09
alC:

You're going to take a safety razor to your nuts?

Auggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

UniFoxOs
15th Jun 2012, 17:37
I often question why a man would want to shave off his hair.

According to SWMBO, it's so that she doesn't get hairs trapped in her teeth.

UFO

Milo Minderbinder
15th Jun 2012, 17:51
If shes that fussy, knock them all out and make her wear false ones. Easier to keep clean as well

Um... lifting...
15th Jun 2012, 18:06
Yes, but Milo, you're hardly disinterested, I should imagine among M & M Enterprises somewhere you are a vendor of false teeth... and everyone gets a share.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think. [Yossarian takes a bite]
Yossarian: What is it?
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Chocolate covered cotton.
Yossarian: What are you, crazy?
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: No good, huh?
Yossarian: For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out.
1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Is it really that bad?
Yossarian: It's cotton!

B Fraser
15th Jun 2012, 18:08
If soap doesn't work, just move to Grimsby and nobody will notice.

CityofFlight
17th Jun 2012, 23:50
LMAO!! :D:D:D

Reminds me of the Jet Blast of ole..... :p

Milo Minderbinder
18th Jun 2012, 01:46
http://doctorsonly.co.il/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/2010_4_9.pdf

Blacker and Wong identified six risk factors for
male GSM: 1) absence of a competent male figure for
identification during the early developmental period,
2) over-controlling mothers who encouraged their
sons’ masochistic behaviors, 3) pathological feminine
behaviors of the male child, 4) repudiation of body
image (especially the penis), 5) unresolved sexual conflicts,
6) anxiety and feelings of guilt often relieved by
GSM. Psychoanalytically, self-mutilating behaviors are
explained as persistence of infantile sexuality patterns
and castration anxiety as a result of unresolved Oedipal
conflicts , or as self-punishment, focal suicide and
aggression directed to oneself

CityofFlight
18th Jun 2012, 01:58
Well...M&M....anyone ever call you a killjoy? I swear I felt the air leave the room upon reading that. :hmm:

Milo Minderbinder
18th Jun 2012, 02:05
But I can't see another reason for taking a razor to ones own knackers..


PS for those needing professional assistance .... see this
The betty hubbard clinic-Cut price Sex change surgery specialists (http://s153139690.websitehome.co.uk/betty-sexchange.htm)

Howard Hughes
18th Jun 2012, 02:13
Man up you blokes, if women can do it, hair removal cream it can't hurt that much can it?:ok:

Let me just say the cream is less pain than three hours on the waxing table!:eek:

And just in case CofF asks, yes I have!;)

CityofFlight
18th Jun 2012, 02:13
I can't either, but it happens, men do it. I don't think the intent was to be anything but funny, to invite the same and the posts that followed, kept it so. Well...until yours, my friend! :p

Just sayin'! ;)

CityofFlight
18th Jun 2012, 02:14
Howard....you man, you! ;)

CityofFlight
18th Jun 2012, 02:38
A sound track for this thread perhaps.... ;)

Jethro Tull-Bungle in the jungle - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uvd9v4CL8uc)

B Fraser
18th Jun 2012, 08:06
You know things are getting out of control when you look down and are reminded of

a) Billy Connolly
b) Terry Waite's allotment
c) Brian May's plughole
d) Tina Turner's armpits

A certain deceased princess was reputed to have "emptied the grass box of her lady lawnmower" into an envelope and sent it to her lover.

Worrals in the wilds
18th Jun 2012, 08:36
A certain deceased princess was reputed to have "emptied the grass box of her lady lawnmower" into an envelope and sent it to her lover.
Is it just me or is that a little...weird? :uhoh:

Milo Minderbinder
18th Jun 2012, 08:55
A certain deceased princess was reputed to have "emptied the grass box of her lady lawnmower" into an envelope and sent it to her lover

She probably thought he could get high by smoking it

Alloa Akbar
18th Jun 2012, 09:00
One of my ex's was a bit of a fan of beauty treatments.. god knows why, it never seemed to help her, anyway she was always trying to persuade me to pop down to the local salon (Even the word "salon" sounds gay) to have a "Back, sack and crack".. Now I don't have a hairy back, but as for the others.. I would prefer to leave that to David Beckham and those types of guys. I did once have a dabble tidying up the old man-vegetables with a set of clippers once, not a bad job too, however, upon my next engagement with my other half, all was going well, until it was time to "Open the curtains" at which point she grimaced and exclaimed "ouch.. what the fcuk??" it seems the steely designer stubble was a bit uncomfortable for her.. Oh well just a few days and it will be ok again.. Oh no.. make that just a few days of the most annoying case of knob / sack / groin itch ever.. god it was unbearable.. coupled with the fact that I had trimmed my chest a little as well, I must have looked like a bad case of lice.. squirming and scratching all fecking day.. never again!! Imagine your work colleague across the way sitting at his desk and acting as if he is trying to retrieve an angry wasp from inside his shirt, whilst fighting off a troop of fire-ants in his pants, the break dancing / spazzy fit look isn't nice.. but sadly, that was I.. for 3 whole days :ugh:

Hydromet
18th Jun 2012, 09:06
A certain deceased princess was reputed to have "emptied the grass box of her lady lawnmower" into an envelope and sent it to her lover.
Is it just me or is that a little...weird?
A late colleague carried a small packet of his girlfriend's 'prunings' around in his wallet.
Now that is weird!

MagnusP
18th Jun 2012, 10:00
But I can't see another reason for taking a razor to ones own knackers..

Had to do it "pre-snip". The regrowth was itchier than the stitches. :\

B Fraser
18th Jun 2012, 10:06
I would have practiced first on a couple of boiled eggs in a sock.

Milo Minderbinder
18th Jun 2012, 18:21
aftershave for your bollocks

Skincare for Men at Cowshed. (http://www.cowshedonline.com/bullocks/c84644-1.html)

this one sounds especially interesting
Bullocks Muscle Rub (http://www.cowshedonline.com/bullocks/bullocks_muscle_rub_massage_oil-c84644p84739.html)

rgbrock1
18th Jun 2012, 19:33
Aftershave for a man's balls? WTF? Next up will be girly perfume for one's gonads. When, oh when, does it ever end?

moosp
18th Jun 2012, 20:51
A stand up comic with a bit of a beer gut from UK performed in Hong Kong last year and did a wonderful sketch on this very subject. It ended up with asking his wife what she thought of the result.

"You look like a nine year old with an eating disorder."

Solar
18th Jun 2012, 22:31
Mate of mine in the army early seventies would get a large birthday card from the girfriend with her (I presume panties) complete with the trimmings forming a nice little mound. Now you can't get much more romantic than that.

Milo Minderbinder
18th Jun 2012, 22:36
20,000 Tons Of Pubic Hair Trimmed In Preparation For Valentine's Day | The Onion - America's Finest News Source (http://www.theonion.com/articles/20000-tons-of-pubic-hair-trimmed-in-preparation-fo,2909/)

Worrals in the wilds
19th Jun 2012, 11:58
Okay, obviously lawn trimmings are more prevalent than I thought. :ouch: Go figure. Must add it to the repertoire. :}

I loved the bit in Milo's article about how they didn't bother to keep records during the 1970s. A very hairy decade...:eek:

kwateow
19th Jun 2012, 12:35
At one massage place I know shaving is included in the full service and is done while the stick is still hard. Followed by lots of soothing oil.

Milo Minderbinder
19th Jun 2012, 13:49
chap in Littlehampton who'll wax it for you

waxingformen (http://www.waxingformen.co/services.php)

Somehow "little hampton" seems very appropriate to how you'd feel afterwards.


A question - if given the choice, would you feel more at ease with a bloke or a girl waxing your balls? You never hear of men working in women's beauty spas and performing brazilians, so I assume there would be some resistance to women working on men

oldchina
19th Jun 2012, 15:29
If I understand well, to get a decent shave or wax the 'therapist' has to first make the organ fairly erect. No, I don't want a guy doing that, thanks.

rgbrock1
19th Jun 2012, 15:39
F**k that. No one, except for the Mrs., touches my junk.
And certainly not to have my balls waxed. (As questionable as that is.)

Worrals in the wilds
20th Jun 2012, 00:47
A question - if given the choice, would you feel more at ease with a bloke or a girl waxing your balls? You never hear of men working in women's beauty spas and performing brazilians, so I assume there would be some resistance to women working on men
I asked a beautician that once, and she said that as far as she knows they're all female. Female beauticians do intimate waxing on blokes all the time. In her opinion, most blokes wouldn't want a bloke doing the job and neither would most women.
F**k that. No one, except for the Mrs., touches my junk.
It's not difficult to DIY wax (though I guess backs would be impossible). Best to go to a beautician a couple of times to learn the technique, but after that it's a piece of cake.