PDA

View Full Version : Roasted Nuts


lomapaseo
4th May 2012, 23:04
There I was walking down the street with my package of freshly roasted nuts



Lightning strikes incredibly unlucky man in the scrotum

2 hrs ago


A guy in Spain is probably hoping pretty fervently right about now that the old adage about lightning not striking twice in the same place is true. The 53-year-old man to whom we refer was walking down a suburban Madrid street when lightning struck his scrotum (http://gizmodo.com/5907640/lightning-strikes-mans-scrotum) through his pants, traveled down his leg and exited his body through one of his feet. He fell unconscious, but survived the zap and was zipped off to a local hospital, where testing determined that, shockingly, his heart and brain were unaffected. His testicles, however, were badly burned. Hold your roasted nuts jokes, please.

Lightning strikes incredibly unlucky man in the scrotum (http://now.msn.com/now/0504-scrotum-lightning.aspx)

gingernut
4th May 2012, 23:07
wasn't there a guy on Blue Peter who was struck about 80 times and it turned out to be con?

treadigraph
4th May 2012, 23:29
wasn't there a guy on Blue Peter who was struck about 80 times and it turned out to be con?

Con? Conpilot? Con, you appeared on Blue Peter? Jeez, struck by lightning I can understand, but to appear on Blue Peter... Have you no shame? Unless you did the cookery bit.

Cacophonix
4th May 2012, 23:51
She roasted my nuts...

Kids at good goddamned schools...

Caco

Tankertrashnav
4th May 2012, 23:53
Well I always thought he was a bit of a hero, flying all those crims around and all that, but not only that he's survived 80 lightning strikes and he's got a Blue Peter badge.

What a guy!

Cacophonix
4th May 2012, 23:56
Tanker

Did our forebears bomb Dresden for this [email protected]?

Caco

Loose rivets
5th May 2012, 01:56
It was reported - in the days news could be relied on - that a man was struck eleven times. When at last he died, his gravestone was hit.

Makes yer wunder.

G-CPTN
5th May 2012, 02:05
a man was struck eleven times.
When at last he died, his gravestone was hit.
It's the price that you pay for being attractive.

TWT
5th May 2012, 02:18
Some people that get struck by lightning are taken to hospital and discharged soon after.Didn't know the human body could act as a capacitor.

G-CPTN
5th May 2012, 02:32
Because their resistance was low and due to their reluctance to repeat the experience, they send them ohm before they revolt.
It's watt they do . . .

stumpey
5th May 2012, 04:33
Some men would pay good money to have a woman do that to them. Must be a web site some where........:\

Slasher
5th May 2012, 05:07
All jokes aside - getting struck in the nuts by lightning must really bloody hurt!

tony draper
5th May 2012, 07:37
Wonder if any of his offspring would have superpowers?:rolleyes:

OFSO
5th May 2012, 07:42
For those of us who are amazingly ancient: remember the pith balls suspended in a jar and the static electriciy ? Wonder if the same thing happened ?

Slasher
5th May 2012, 07:49
You mean a Leiden jar thingy? Didn't work too well at school
- I blowed mine up after accidently connecting 240V iso the
1.5V battery. :E

stuckgear
5th May 2012, 07:51
Con? Conpilot? Con, you appeared on Blue Peter? Jeez, struck by lightning I can understand, but to appear on Blue Peter... Have you no shame? Unless you did the cookery bit.

oh it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if con had a blue peter badge too ! :cool:

probes
5th May 2012, 07:52
he must have had something metallic to attract it (=lighting)?

Slasher
5th May 2012, 08:02
You inferring he must've had powerfully rugged balls of steel then Probes? ;)

tony draper
5th May 2012, 08:08
The zip on his kecks probably.:)

radeng
5th May 2012, 08:16
Not as in the old rugby song?

'D'ye ken John Peel,
With his pr**k of steel,
And his balls of brass
And a polythene a**e'......etc

Slasher
5th May 2012, 08:17
I don't think either of his kecks have any zip left in 'em Drapes. Not any more!

tony draper
5th May 2012, 08:18
Buttons are safer :=

TWT
5th May 2012, 08:29
Maybe he had just watched this and thought he'd give it a go :

L9tAQZInm5Q

ExSp33db1rd
5th May 2012, 10:57
Didn't Brylcreem feature in that song somewhere, or am I thinking of something else ?

B Fraser
5th May 2012, 14:38
Originally Posted by Loose rivets
a man was struck eleven times.
When at last he died, his gravestone was hit


Was he a conductor ?

There once was a man from Madras
Who's balls were both made of brass
In thundery weather
They would rub together
And lightning would fly out of his arse

Somehow it doesn't quite scan with Chennai so I'll kick off the 2012 version.

There once was a man from Chennai
Who had a piercing in his jap's eye

over to you folks

pigboat
5th May 2012, 16:46
The very stuff for overheated nether regions.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m8/Siddley-Hawker/Showergel.jpg

hellsbrink
5th May 2012, 17:09
Pigboat


:D:D:D

Slasher
5th May 2012, 17:49
Piggy! Heh heh! :ok:

probes
5th May 2012, 18:17
And the joke is...? Anyone to translate for someone without the youknowwhat? :sad:

OFSO
5th May 2012, 19:49
That's for wimps. Real Men use Horse Linament.

(Actually it is excellent for stiff muscles).

Lon More
5th May 2012, 21:30
John Peel had a celluloid ass IIRC

Pigboat why did you have such a dangerous item in your shower - presuming you to be the original recipient? Maybe you could shed light on the spy in the sports bag as well

A mate once surprised his GF when he used Tiger balsem i.s.o. KY Jelly

Slasher
5th May 2012, 21:30
Anyone to translate for someone without the youknowwhat?

Well Probes...um, taking into account the physical differences
of the male and female reproductive genitalia - such as....the
testecular/Fallopian biotemperature differences.... er also the
neuronic perception gradients of the vas deferens of the male
to the clitoral stimuli associated with the female reproductive
system.....and not forgetting vaginal sensatory differences as
compared to the male penile shaft....

Now gimme just a minute. Some medical math involved here...

[Ok...d/h x V = A so...20 ml O2/100 ml will give um...500 ml O2/min
average...CO = VO2 / (Ca-Cv) so......CO = HR x SV...ok so....yup.]

.

Alright here's the scientifically-derived answer to your question -

It'd be like getting a large icicle-pop straight from the freezer
and shoving it directly inside, and leavin' it up there all day to
melt.

probes
5th May 2012, 21:41
well, if there's anyone able to explain complicated things ... :p

Lon - never, as long as I've got Slash to make things simple, sincere and clear!

Lon More
5th May 2012, 21:47
Don't worry your pretty little head about it girlie http://www.modelhommes.com/images/smilies/hippy2.gif

pigboat
6th May 2012, 03:55
Nicked from the OzExpat. :D

2kpjnGWPmj0

OFSO
6th May 2012, 11:52
Not the only thing that gets roasted in Spain - I took this snap in Figueras about an hour ago.....(note the paella simering behind the meat)http://i656.photobucket.com/albums/uu287/ROBIN_100/IMAG0136.jpg

Worrals in the wilds
6th May 2012, 12:12
Wow! :ok:
If I dashed to the airport now and jumped on a flight...it would still all be eaten by the time I got there. :sad:

That's one mean looking paella pan.

MD11Engineer
6th May 2012, 14:21
Did he sport a lightning rod just before the incident?:p

Ancient Observer
6th May 2012, 15:05
Told to me by a very pretty, shapely young lady that I was lusting after...........

What have you got if you have a pair of nuts on your wall?
A pair of walnuts.

What have you got if you have a pair of nuts on your chest?

A pair of chestnuts.

What have you got if you have a pair of nuts on your chin?




A mouth full of c***

And, er, no I didn't.