View Full Version : dead boring!

gas path
26th Apr 2012, 18:40
Farewell Intercourse Law: Egypt Drafts Measure To Allow Husbands To Have Sex With Dead Wives (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/04/26/farewell-intercourse-law-egypt-parliament-dead-wife_n_1455241.html?ref=mostpopular)


The Heff
26th Apr 2012, 18:54
Good grief.

26th Apr 2012, 19:00
Maybe Egyptian women are so lousy in bed that the husbands can't be expected to know if they're dead or alive. I have no experience in the matter so this is purely speculative. I expect our friend Shagger, sorry, Slasher, might be able to enlighten us.

If you think about it, it's a pretty pointless law as a dead woman is hardly likely to bring an accusation anyway .......... so what's this all about?

26th Apr 2012, 19:05
How utterly vile. Shows how sick some people can be.

The Heff
26th Apr 2012, 19:22
That's a little harsh.

A grieving, widowed man committing a necrophiliac act with his late wife's corpse is a bit different from a ghoulish character digging up stranger's graves for the sake of a perverted fetish. The biggest difference is the length of the madness. The widower can lose his mind with the loss of his spouse; thus is not ailed by a sickness, but a spell of insanity. The stereotypical necrophile has a twisted lust for the dead, acting not out of love for the person, but purely for sexual gratification; and that is sick.

26th Apr 2012, 19:39
The Heff

That was so awful I loved it! :}

26th Apr 2012, 19:45
There's a very old German* joke that has the punchline

"Lebst du noch, Heinrich ?"

...the wife to her husband after sex - sorry can't remember the rest but it implies the husband is already dead when making love. So it isn't unusual.

* Aplogies to Bavarians: it's a joke from Hessen. Alles Klar ?!

26th Apr 2012, 19:52
Alles Klar, OFSO: I know the joke. Translated it would be along the lines of "Are you still alive, Heinrich?"

It isn't a joke that originated in Hesse though. It's widely popular in Bayern as well!!!!

Gr di'!!!

26th Apr 2012, 20:07
A guy is found making love to a corpse washed up on the beach.

Someone else comes by and says "Oh my god, how can you make love to a dead woman?" the first guy says "She's dead? I thought she was (.....fill in your choice of nationality here!......)

26th Apr 2012, 20:08
Not dead boring, relatively boring! They were married.....

Sir George Cayley
26th Apr 2012, 20:16
My first GF made me feel like the world's greatest lover.........

until I found out she had asthma :confused:

Talking of weird laws what's the age of consent in Italy?


26th Apr 2012, 20:18
Age of consent in Italy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Italy)

Takan Inchovit
26th Apr 2012, 21:01
Over my dead body! :hmm: I wonder how it works if she was a bombing victim.

26th Apr 2012, 21:16
Train joke withdrawn by poster, in light of McGoonagall's thread.

Milo Minderbinder
27th Apr 2012, 01:29
I guess its the only way some of these religious nutters will ever get a stiffy

27th Apr 2012, 02:52

So me mate Silvio is ok then!

27th Apr 2012, 08:30
Man goes to doctor,
"Doc, I think my wifes dead"
"Why do you think that?"
"Well the sex is the same but the washing is piling up!"

27th Apr 2012, 08:47
gas path, you always believe everything you read on the net?

Very trusting of you, Ill say that.

Hoax (http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Backchannels/2012/0426/Egypt-necrophilia-law-Hooey-utter-hooey?cmpid=addthis_email#.T5nEqMQOQoo.email)

27th Apr 2012, 09:26
Two old boys are sat having a cup of coffee one morning and remembering the old days. Remember when we used to go to the bar at 1200 and drink all day and stop off at the brothel on the way home for the ride of our lives?, says one.
They were wonderful times,perhaps we should do it again.,says the other.
Good idea, lets do it today,before we get too old.
So the old chaps move on to the bar and have a great day drinking and telling all the old stories. That night they are staggering home in a fine state of inebriation when they arrive at the brothel.
They stagger in and shout for the Madame. What do these two old fools want thinks the Madame. Your two finest girls, says one. The Madame thinks to herself that she isn't wasting any girls on these two idiots and says to the handyman. Blow up the two dolls and put them in the rooms on the top floor.
She then takes the money from the old boys and tells them that they are in the two rooms on the top floor.

Twenty minutes later our heroes are staggering home and one says," I think mine was dead!", "Why?", "Well, she didn't move, didn't speak, did nothing. I think she was dead".
"Just think yourself lucky, cos i think i got a witch. I was going for my life and enjoying every minute of it when I bit her on the neck and she farted and flew out of the window!!"

gas path
27th Apr 2012, 22:12
It wasn't in the Daily Mail ...honest!:O:}

27th Apr 2012, 22:54
Creepy muslims & their disgusting ways eh? And it was in the Mail, reported as fact. Your middle England outrage served up in black & white in time for breakfast. Take a bow, Dacre, a new low.

28th Apr 2012, 00:10
In the Arab Spring a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of necrophilia.

The Heff
28th Apr 2012, 14:30
I wonder why the Egyptian Government would bother even discussing this, because surely isn't this law a bit pointless, anyway? For example, when one's spouse shuffles off this mortal coil, would the Doctor really investigate to establish whether the final act of fornication occured prior, during or after death?

28th Apr 2012, 14:47
would the Doctor really investigate to establish whether the final act of fornication occured prior, during or after death?

Depends on how full she is. If it's coming out her nose, well............