View Full Version : Breaking It Gently ??

21st Apr 2012, 13:15
OK guys.... Serious question here.... A buddy of mine is in a position to hire a cadet pilot for a great career as a helicopter pilot.... The problem is, she's about 20lb on the "plus" side and needs to loose the weight to avoid potential medical problems etc etc.... So..... How would you tell her ????
My suggestion was...
"lay off the doughnuts and yer in"!!!!

Anyone care to do better ???

21st Apr 2012, 13:21
"...we're gonna need a bigger helicopter..."

DX Wombat
21st Apr 2012, 13:26
Unless she already has it, mention that the job is subject to holding a Class 1 Medical certificate.

Airborne Aircrew
21st Apr 2012, 13:43
Show her the max take-off weight of the airframe and point out that she exceeds it...

21st Apr 2012, 13:45
Women and weight, I wouldn't even go there mate.

Show her some photo's of herself, and wait until she broaches the subject.:)

21st Apr 2012, 13:52
Don't make it an issue of looks. Tell her the requirement is 20 less, and if she wants the job, she'll have to lose it. Just like that.
Think about what ski jumpers have to do to be light enough, and that's even not a proper career? (for the life, that is).

21st Apr 2012, 14:06
Remark how most birds fly, except for those too large lke an ostrich, ease the comment by remarking how nice her tail feathers look

21st Apr 2012, 14:20
Unless you can discover the 'reason' for her situation (whether metabolism, medical or emotional), there is nothing that you can do to keep the weight off.

If she has low self-esteem, then offering her the chance of a successful career might be enough of itself, otherwise don't hold your breath - unless you can involve her in a relationship (not necessarily with yourself).

21st Apr 2012, 14:23
Ask her if she's pregnant ?

21st Apr 2012, 14:25
Ask her if she's pregnant ? Against UK employment rules nowadays - you'd end up in a tribunal . . .

It might be worth having an 'informal' chat outlining your reticence to employ her based on future medical grounds and allowing her to contribute the reason and then plan how you (jointly) can correct things.

Maybe the usual six months probation period to see how things progress . . .

Stress how much you consider her to have great potential (which might cause her to try her luck elsewhere) and say that the door will always be open - subject to the 'medical' conditions being met.

21st Apr 2012, 14:27
you'd end up in a tribunal

More likely to end up in a hospital.

21st Apr 2012, 14:54
Just tell her that in order to get airborne she needs to shed 10kgs excess baggage-permanently.

21st Apr 2012, 15:06
Could not your friend tell her he has other candidates to interview for this position? Saves grace on both sides of the interview desk, and a way out of employing her.

Having said that, in a way, I feel sorry for this weight unstable lady and wonder could 20lbs over gross body weight would really lead to future medical conditions?

On the other side of the coin (as they say) I have an acquaintance (29 stone) who bought a R22 (long story) bloody thing can't even lift of the ground with him in it.


21st Apr 2012, 15:14
We only buy size 10 Company Flight Suits

21st Apr 2012, 15:25
Yeh but how is she in the titty department? Unless she's built
like a brick shithouse or a face ugly enough to scare a bloody
cockroach, a lot of character and body flaws can be made up
just by having great tits.

You got any piccys of the lass in question? They can provide
one with a better and informed reply. Only a few shots from
her neck down should be enough.

B Fraser
21st Apr 2012, 15:26
Always fly with her side of the helicopter lower than yours. She'll work it out.

21st Apr 2012, 15:31
Be nice to her fellah...

Paul McCartney - Treat Her Gently (Lonely Old People) - YouTube

Yeh but how is she in the titty department? Unless she's built
like a brick shithouse or a face ugly enough to scare a bloody
cockroach, a lot of character and body flaws can be made up
just by having great tits.

Just when I start getting depressed by life (again) I read the world according to Slasher and all is well again. ;)


21st Apr 2012, 15:52
Slasher... That's very sexist, your #15 post, but there again this is JB and most of us guys thoughts are centralised as to the opposite sex. I for one must admit this myself as opposed to your last post. But in mitigation, this might be due to my age, I'm not sure.

I want to admit this to all on here.......... Since Hilary Clinton started wearing her hair low/shoulder length, she does things for me:E I expect a knock on the door any time now from the CIA and Bill. I've never had any thoughts (sexual) as to women of a age greater than mine. But Hilary 'rings my bell'. Sorry for thread drift. I need another cold shower.

21st Apr 2012, 15:57
Slasher... That's very sexist, your #15 post,


21st Apr 2012, 15:58
Since Hilary Clinton

Ok I admit it. I have always fancied Mrs Clinton while despising her at the same time! God damn it! ;) She reminds me of an ex girlfriend.

Edited to say ... Slasher the two (or the one) in the middle reminds me of this song...



21st Apr 2012, 16:17
Slasher...... Nice post, but it's not Hilary!!! Found lots of pics of Monica (off duty) but non of Hilary. Your quest........... Find them. Make a old man happy. Or in the words of MOL... Do it or loose it. ;)


21st Apr 2012, 16:25
Yep veined tittys put me off a bit too Caco. Makes 'em look all
....I dunno....sorta "biological" and "breastfeedy" iso the nice
sex-reins and comfort pillows that Nature meant them to be. :)

I'll get back to you Daz - Hilary C and Monica L do absolutely
nothin' for me. I can dig you something up better than those
two that'll cause you a heart attack!

21st Apr 2012, 16:50
Slasher, I've never came across veined titties manly due that I've never married or been a father but I could imagine them a turn off when getting under the quilt. It's all biological you know, women hit 27-35-40 they seem to go 'down hill' discovered this when having a few meet ups with ex's now in their early 40s.

Their bodies were not the same, pert titties as in the 80s have now sagged, large rumps. In fairness, all 26 have had children over the years. Guess they wondered what tablets I was taking before lights out. Yea your right. Age sucks.

Sorry for thread drift.... Large ladies and helicopters I believe.


p.s. "I'll get back to you Daz - Hilary C and Monica L do absolutely
nothin' for me. I can dig you something up better than those
two that'll cause you a heart attack!"

I'll have you know I been around the web, and seen naughty things. Don't post any links on here, PM. I heard the US can get a warrant to have me transported to the US within days. There again, I'll be closer to Hilary:E

21st Apr 2012, 16:58
Before each flight adjust the harnesses to their tightest positions and put seat belt extenders on the seat :E

21st Apr 2012, 17:02
give her a bone dome with the name "ORCA" on it.

21st Apr 2012, 17:05
You could use the old northern England chat up line, modified to suit the situation:

"You don't sweat much for a fat lass............and that's your only problem"

21st Apr 2012, 17:13
Shy..... ""You don't sweat much for a fat lass"...... The late great Les Dawson.


21st Apr 2012, 17:13
The bottom line is (no pun intended) -

When you first laid eyes on her, did that same part of your male brain that says "Oh yeah I would!" say to you, "Haha deep down there are some jokes to be made about the size of this one!"?

Or is it more of a 'medical overweight'? Couple of girls I've been with have 'technically' been overweight, but to look at them just spelt out sex appeal.

I concur with a comment above, just state how it is - "You need to be 20lbs lighter to do this, it doesn't matter that you look fantastic ( ;) ), that's just how it is... How badly do you want the job?"

You've got to tell her if you want to give her an awesome chance like this.

Cheers, HBB.

21st Apr 2012, 17:23
Halfbaked... "Couple of girls I've been with have 'technically' been overweight, but to look at them just spelt out sex appeal."

Thing is, did you ask her to fart for your ILS :D:D:D


21st Apr 2012, 17:32
dazdaz1, I've heard worse! :D:p

21st Apr 2012, 17:48
introduce a new company policy in these difficult financial times, flight crew will have their salary reduced by the proportional amount over their ideal height/weight to compensate for additional fuel burn .

21st Apr 2012, 18:11
chuks, at risk of opening a can of worms amongst other posters, I concur with all of your points above.

With regard to women in aviation, I think the problem is simple - they are aware that they are in the minority of pilots, and are so desperate to 'prove' themselves to everybody that they can come across as incredibly stuck up, no nonsense, no sense of humour types, it can actually be quite awkward to be around them.

I've flown with some awesome girls, they don't need to prove anything because they are who they are, they can definitely fly and are a real laugh to be around...... Just like every single bloke of course :p

Back on topic!

21st Apr 2012, 18:36
Tell her to have a look at a very interesting aviation related website.

21st Apr 2012, 20:00
Yeh but how is she in the titty department? Unless she's built
like a brick shithouse or a face ugly enough to scare a bloody
cockroach, a lot of character and body flaws can be made up
just by having great tits.

You got any piccys of the lass in question? They can provide
one with a better and informed reply. Only a few shots from
her neck down should be enough

I've not read anything so downright degrading, sexist, misogynistic and true for a very long time.

21st Apr 2012, 22:14
Just tell her she is not fit for service. Don't extrapolate.

As for fancying Hillary Clinton dazdaz1 I pity you...:bored:


21st Apr 2012, 22:24
Shy..... ""You don't sweat much for a fat lass"...... The late great Les Dawson. Daz

Yes, I look more like him every day.... :sad:

21st Apr 2012, 22:29
And in the circumstances, is her face and build that important?

People can be so shallow.

Airborne Aircrew
21st Apr 2012, 22:36
The really ridiculous thing about this entire conversation is that one can't simply be honest. The fat broad will mess up the employer's airframe.

That's how screwed up we are now... We can't be forthright any more...

They have succeeded in "dumbing us down"... They'll take an aircraft failure rather than tell some chubby bint that the airframe can't take it...

Let's kill someone before we tell someone her arse is too big...:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

21st Apr 2012, 22:41
Gingernut, her ability to do the job is the important bit.

I believe you work in the medical profession. Her face is of no consequence, as long as she can raise a smile once in a while, in difficult circumstances. I'm surprised that you ask about the importance of her build on an aviation forum, though.

Btw, Can you explain why so many folk in your industry are very obviously obese?

Including the doctor who, at about the same height as myself, but probably somewhere approaching twice my weight, recently asked me when I last had my blood pressure checked? As it happened, it was only a few weeks before, during my Class 1 medical, and it was fine. I so much wanted to ask her the same question but I bit my tongue. :}

21st Apr 2012, 22:54
It is just possible that her overweight status is directly due to her unemployed status and as soon as she is properly employed the weight will come off?

Must admit looking at male pilots over the years I ask how can an overweight girl be a problem? Pot, kettle and black spring to mind!

If all else fails I vote for the uniform option, give her one that is one size too small, once the diet starts, with the motivation of the job, it won't stop until she is happy, no woman enjoys being overweight.

21st Apr 2012, 22:56
Oh, I'm only being flippant.

I wasn't trying to make any sensible comment about helicopter pilots. Or indeed men or women. Or weight.

Is there an issue?

21st Apr 2012, 23:01
Is there an issue?

Not in most cases.

As far as women in the cockpit goes, if there is a one woman pilot on board, there are often three tits up front. The third one being in the other seat. :ok:

21st Apr 2012, 23:07
Where do you place the nuts?

22nd Apr 2012, 00:34
Where do you place the nuts?

Commonly shared between them

22nd Apr 2012, 02:14
DazDaz, this (http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/nakedhillary.htm) one's for you. Knock yerself out.

unstable load
22nd Apr 2012, 16:01
She almost looks presentable if you catch her and bend her over one of the smaller balls..........:E

Milo Minderbinder
22nd Apr 2012, 18:43
Shes 20lb overweight? From what I've seen of the USA and Canada thats on the low side of normall. Most of the women over there seem to be more like 50-60lb overwight
I'd say consider yourself lucky you've found someone with such a minimal problem compared to the rest of your obese popluation

22nd Apr 2012, 20:53
Yes, 20lbs is only a stone and a half.... the really extreme ones are the ones with all-horizontal pubic hair. :yuk:

Airborne Aircrew
22nd Apr 2012, 21:32
I'm actually wondering what sort of an airframe can't handle 20lbs on a female frame...

I smell a long tailed rodent...

22nd Apr 2012, 21:46
I would think that unless you can find a paragraph in BC employment law that allows you to make an offer of employment conditional on the employees weight you will be like a shelf on a wall: screwed. You will probably end up in a employment tribunal quicker than you can "Nanaimo bar".

23rd Apr 2012, 07:29
Suggest to your friend that the interview takes place during a brisk walk round the peri track, "As it's a nice day". That should sort out the willpower and fitness issues.

Might be a bit embarassing if she beats your mate back to the office though.

Solid Rust Twotter
23rd Apr 2012, 07:49
Tell her "Your arse looks big in that..."

"These trousers?"

"No, that helicopter!"

23rd Apr 2012, 08:00
I have always been fairly polite to "big" girls. You never know, they might just be stronger than you! ;)

Years ago I developed engine trouble in France. Two burly mechanics and me were struggling to open the oil cap when the maintanenace centre owner's wife stepped out, pushed us aside and with a deft movement of her powerful arm twisted the cap off, said something disparaging in French and disappeared like a galleon in full sail. I am still very impressed and just a little frightened.


Solid Rust Twotter
23rd Apr 2012, 08:37
Admit it, you were a little turned on as well....:E

23rd Apr 2012, 08:39
Admit it, you were a little turned on as well....http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/evil.gif

Well you know what it is like with girls and oil! :\ ;)


Ghost Vector
23rd Apr 2012, 10:52
Hire her contingent of losing the weight in a specific time period. Schedule weigh-ins every week in the organization’s most public place. Have everybody garner her with adulation for the entire week after a successful weight loss weigh in, and, shout obscenities at her for an entire week for failure.

Ghost Vector
23rd Apr 2012, 12:26
Won't work cattletruck. She'll scrape it off and never wear it again.

23rd Apr 2012, 19:19
Show her this picture and tell her this woman used to fly helicopters for a living but was let go. For obvious reasons. Perhaps she'll get the hint?


23rd Apr 2012, 19:39
Imagine how you would feel if one of her thongs broke

23rd Apr 2012, 19:43
Her thongs can't break. They are made out of nylon-encased kevlar with titanium wrappings, which themselves are encased in tungsten steel chords.

Airborne Aircrew
23rd Apr 2012, 20:02
I'd still like to know what aircraft would be detrimentally affected by a mere 20lb on a female frame. The average man has 20lb on the average female. Is this a female only airframe?

23rd Apr 2012, 20:05
I guess this all comes down to sleeping with your FO. I know the company doesn't like it and hell you shouldn't do it... but?


Edited... Having woken up with a handful of... I was demoted but never de motivated... :ok:

Ghost Vector
24th Apr 2012, 00:18
Shocked by the startling image of a giant woman in a thong sipping a straw in the back yard, I reached for the alarm clock, but realized in horror I had been awake for hours. Fearing sudden movements, or, that my up wind musk would give me away, I inched backward.
It was to late. Our eyes met. Fearing direct eye contact would provoke aggression, I looked away realizing my gun bearer, being in Kenya, was unable to help me. Christ if I could just make the fence gate before she spoke. Reaching back with my left hand I absentmindedly grasped a thorny yellow rose from my favorite corner yard bush, thorns cutting into my palm. She smiled….I shat myself. Nothing left to do now but....

They found parts of his body scattered over three city blocks. The story ended then and there.

24th Apr 2012, 00:30
Shocked by the startling image of a giant woman in a thong

Pretty much as good as sex gets :-)

ZZ Top - Tush - YouTube


24th Apr 2012, 02:43
A buddy of mine is in a position to hire a cadet pilot for a great career as a helicopter pilot.... The problem is, she's about 20lb on the "plus" side and needs to loose the weight to avoid potential medical problems etc etc.... So...

If she can't do weight and balance nor understand medical consequences herself, she's not worth hiring.

(20 lbs is a deal breaker? How overweight is she?)

If she weighs less than anybody (men) already employed as pilots there, she'll easily win an anti discrimination lawsuit in court. It won't get her a job, and might ruin any chance at a job anywhere, but it won't be pretty, pleasant, or cheap for the company.

Seriously, if you think she's a great pilot, act like a mentor and tell her in the politest, low key, professional manner that losing the twenty Lbs might win the job.

24th Apr 2012, 04:18
Seriously, rgbrock1, did I have to read back to the previous page?
I'll skip lunch today. And stick to the rule of no-food-after-5 (instead of 6 with occasional relapses) forever.

btw, offtopic, how often does one wash a beard that long?

24th Apr 2012, 11:28
Act like a muppet, you mean? Nowadays saying anything like that can get one into so much trouble so fast... You will be doing a Victor Meldrew, 'I cannot belieeeeve it!' when you find that you are up against someone who has not just got a no-cost lawyer but people you never heard of on her side, ready to hang you for being some kind of sexist pig. All you will have is Slasher as a character witness, so that you might as well just go and stick your head in the oven with the gas turned on, and save everyone a lot of trouble.

A lot of people simply do not want to be told the cold, hard facts about life. Ever heard of 'comfort eating'? How do you think many fat people got that way?

Taking someone aside, a relative stranger, to gently suggest that they are some kind of lard-ass... great idea! When you were a teenager, did Mummy ever ask if you knew that there was an enormous zit in the middle of your forehead? Were you grateful for that?

24th Apr 2012, 11:58
Ever heard of 'comfort eating'?
I referred to that indirectly above in #8.

The trick is to find out the cause of the dissatisfaction, beit relationship or lack of employment, but usually lack of self-confidence of some sort.

24th Apr 2012, 12:18
Ask her if she's pregnant ?

...... unless you know already; especially if you know of your own knowledge how she got that way.

24th Apr 2012, 12:42

Mommy never told me that I had a big, fat zit in the middle of my forehead. There was no need to. I had a girlfriend for that.
And instead of telling me about the aforementioned big, fat zit in the middle of my forehead what she would do is grab hold of my neck, pulling me toward her and then she would proceed to use her cat-like finger nails to squeeze the hell out of the zit(s) causing lots of pus-like substances to blow out at Mach 3, followed by lots of bleeding. Afterward, she would simple say "there. Got it." And then giggle.

Sick bit*h.

24th Apr 2012, 12:55
Ask her if she's pregnant ?

Surprising anyone that fat would score a fcuk to begin with!

24th Apr 2012, 13:08

Unfortunately there are quite a few male members of the species who seem to enjoy rotund women. Each to his own I suppose.
Different strokes for different folks!

24th Apr 2012, 15:06
Fair enough rgb but I reckon anyone who shags a fat chick
like that is just too damn lazy to play with his plonker.

28th Apr 2012, 12:04
The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'...