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probes
18th Apr 2012, 21:08
Anyway. Is it possible?
(I think it is, even when the specimen is handsome or beautiful. I may be blonde, of course :E). Nowadays, when one does not need "a woman of the opposite sex" to quote herr Flick of the Allo! Allo! to get romantic...

west lakes
18th Apr 2012, 22:06
Yes I am good friends with a lot of women (both married and single)

EDDNHopper
18th Apr 2012, 22:15
Firmly believe no. Why not? Here goes the old Harry&Sally quote.

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Worrals in the wilds
19th Apr 2012, 00:43
It can work, as long as neither person harbours secret affection for the other. If that happens and it's not mutual, the results can be very messy.
I have a couple of strictly platonic male friends. Maybe they don't think I'm attractive :sad::}.

Mechta
19th Apr 2012, 01:14
The difficulty, for men anyway, if they are in a relationship, is convincing their partner that the other females are friends and not competition.

It can be very helpful, particularly in the early days of a relationship, to have a friend of the opposite sex with whom one can discuss it and get an alternative viewpoint when things aren't going to plan and good intentions fall flat.

Zoneb
19th Apr 2012, 04:02
Friends of the opposite sex can be the best friends one can have! :ok:

Slasher
19th Apr 2012, 06:47
Shagging is a way to get to know a woman friend better. And
as long as its consenting what's wrong with that? I call it The
Clearing Of Dirty Water.... in other words lets get all the mad
senseless screwing out of the way - and then we can be good
mates and pals without necessarily having more sex, and also
can help reduce future sexual jealousies should some bastard
come along and starts poking her brains out.

And the scriptwriters of H met S are dead right.... if you want
to be REAL friends you fcuk at least once or twice - otherwise
any "friendship" that existing prior to bonking won't last very
long, or be stretched out to the point where it can be deemed
practically non-existent.

shalo
19th Apr 2012, 09:08
In a word.... NO.

Been there, tried that and experince talks...... As many have stated - the sex thing always, always gets in the way at some point.

You might think it's possible but somewhere down the road the issue will come up.

My tuppence worth anyway.

Little cloud
19th Apr 2012, 09:14
The dilemma aptly sumed up by Billy Connolly I think,

'Noooo, I don't want a cuddle, I waaant a shaaaag'

...and Woody Allen,

Husband to sex therapist, 'We hardly ever have sex, once a week maybe'
Wife to sex therapist, 'We have sex all the time, every week'

matkat
19th Apr 2012, 09:58
Yes friends with my second wife before I became 'involved' with Her 18 years married and 2 children later we separated, and are good friends again.

Mechta, you are so right have had to ditch 2 potential Lady friends because of their jealousy about my friendship with my ex-wife:ugh:

The SSK
19th Apr 2012, 10:11
Iím genuinely surprised by the answers. Most of my very strongest friendships are with females, including one or two half my age. Iím extremely comfortable in their company, as apparently they are in mine. All are to a degree Ďfanciableí, that just makes it all the more rewarding.

Maybe they regard me as Ďa safe pair of handsí. Mrs SSK certainly seems to trust me.

PukinDog
19th Apr 2012, 11:49
Of course there can be just friendship.

I've developed a theory re those men who don't believe it's possible; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy because women don't want to be friends with you (and yeah don't you wish that meant they wanna shag you instead). The ones that could easily well be a friend get creeped-out by your vibe at some point early-on when a friendship could begin, and from then on it's always arms-length. Women are tuned-in, they can sense repression and desperation a mile away.

rgbrock1
19th Apr 2012, 13:34
I used to think so. A very dear female friend of mine was just that, a friend, for many years. Basically since high school.
She then married my best friend. Our friendship continued on during her marriage and my best friend had no problem with our friendship.

Unfortunately, my best friend died suddenly of a massive heart attack at the age of 55. I was living in Germany at the time and upon notification quickly returned to the States. My female friend was beside herself with grief and I tried to be there for her the best that I could. After the services were over I returned to the Vaterland.

A few weeks later my female friend phoned me and asked if I was planning on returning to the States anytime soon. No, I said, no plans. The answer to that was "I'd love to have you back." Eh?

Two weeks later I was, yet again, back in the states and for the first time since we had known each other we had sex. I always considered her extremely attractive and very sexy. But that was the extent of it. I guess she needed company in her time of grief but I could never figure out why me as she could have chosen to be with anyone.

arcniz
19th Apr 2012, 13:39
It certainly is a way for people to be very close... albeit for much too short a time, in most cases.

Mechta
19th Apr 2012, 13:45
It can work, as long as neither person harbours secret affection for the other.

WITW, So what happens if the affection is mutual and not secret, and you are both happy (or think you are happy) for it to stay at that level? Do you think that can work in the long term?

Lancair70
19th Apr 2012, 13:50
Youve gotta have sex if women are going to be real friends.
I'm friends with all my ex's, which was always a huge issue with my gf/wife over the 12yrs we were together, now just over a year since we split, we're getting to be friends again, although 2 children together force us to communicate. My new GF doesnt care one bit about ex's, she's friends with some of her ex's too and I understand you need to have had sex to be good friends.

probes
22nd Apr 2012, 15:22
Shagging is a way to get to know a woman friend better. And
as long as its consenting what's wrong with that?
hmm... mostly it's "others" (like wives or husbands) who find wrongs with that? :E

stuckgear
22nd Apr 2012, 16:14
i have a few female friends too, in fact on the whole i get better with females than males. not shagged any of the female friends, and yes on occasion people have asked if i am jumping/boning them... the thing is after actually developing a friendship, it's like asking if you are boning your sister.. love them as i do, i simply would never go there.. it would be well.. creepy.

Ghost Vector
22nd Apr 2012, 16:44
Sexual intercourse is merely a natural human biological function required for stable mental health. Shagging is a sporting event derived from socially dysfunctional bipeds needing ego nourishment.

ehwatezedoing
22nd Apr 2012, 20:41
Shagging is a sporting event derived from socially dysfunctional bipeds needing ego nourishment.

errr...No.
Are you a woman to say so!?

If not I suggest seeing a sex therapist :E

rh200
22nd Apr 2012, 22:53
In short NO!!

Men and women are different mentally, a woman can easily be friends with a man, the old "second prize syndrome". Men can not, even if its subconscious a man will generally harbor the desire to bonk her, or at least keep on apparent friendly terms in case he gets the oppertunity to bonk her. The old "one missed out on, one you can never catch up on syndrome".

This is of course a statistical thing and there is alway exceptions to the rule.

probes
23rd Apr 2012, 05:41
You really make me worried. :E
What do I have to think of the male friends I have (had)? How many 'exceptions' can there be, I wonder.
even if its subconscious a man will generally harbor the desire to bonk her, or at least keep on apparent friendly terms in case he gets the oppertunity to bonk her

Ghost Vector
23rd Apr 2012, 05:52
I think it important to openly admit, that I, as well as all men if honest, have had far more women acquaintances than women we have had sex with. Frankly I find that fact reassuring, if not a relief.

rh200
23rd Apr 2012, 06:51
What do I have to think of the male friends I have (had)?
Actually I just put this same thing to a female friend :E of mine a month ago. She is rather naive and expressed shock, as she said she had a few male friends. So I said put it to them, she just frowned next time I saw her.

Gertrude the Wombat
23rd Apr 2012, 08:52
Actually I just put this same thing to a female friend http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/evil.gif of mine a month ago. She is rather naive and expressed shock, as she said she had a few male friends. So I said put it to them, she just frowned next time I saw her.
Well they'd have to say "yes", wouldn't they, it would be rude to say "I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole," wouldn't it :confused::confused::confused:

Slasher
23rd Apr 2012, 17:39
Sometimes you have to GtW, esp if she's like a sort've mate
though ugly as a hatful and and titless as a plank. Happened
only a couple of times but better they got the hard truth than
them runnin around in a false fantasy thinking they could get
into any blokes pants anytime they wanted.

It did backfire on me once - one particular twiggy-like frump
did herself up with tit implants, tad of botox here and there,
gained some weight in the right places, and 10 years later I
heard she became a very successful top executive after havin
shagged her way to the top, and at the time was shacked up
with some rich Y-generation bastard. And by all accounts she
became a total stunner. :(