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Shh... Noise Abatement
5th Jun 2001, 18:22
I'M TYPING IN UPPERCASE BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH NOISE AROUND HERE. WHY DO YOU SELFISH PILOT BASTARDS MAKE SO MUCH NOISE? THERE ARE PEOPLE DOWN HERE TRYING TO WATCH THE TELLY.

ickle black box
5th Jun 2001, 18:33
BECAUSE WE ARE eager people WHO DO something unfortunatly noisy TO BUILD UP FLYING HOURS AND unfortunatly annoy well respected people LIKE YOU. SO unfortunatly thats the case! WHAT A simple LIFE YOU LEAD IF THE TELLY IS YOUR MAIN FOCAL POINT AND AND YOU CAN'T quite strech to the bonus of DOUBLE GLAZING TO KEEP THE NOISE OUT! AN IF YOU DO HAVE DOUBLE GLAZING AN IT'S STILL TOO LOUD, YOU WERE unfortunate TO GET A HOUSE BY AN AIRPORT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

P.S. Don't forget the millions of happy families who enjoy their summer holiday every year, couresty of US, and our noise generators!!

edited to make other people happy!!!


[This message has been edited by ickle black box (edited 05 June 2001).]

Man-on-the-fence
5th Jun 2001, 18:42
Troll alert

Wind up

4PON4PIN
5th Jun 2001, 19:41
Dear me Mr(?). IBB!! Now most of your toys are out of yr pram.

I read the thread as an amusing early attempt at humour. Even if it was a grievance, then far better to ignore it as I suspect we can expect to see many more new contributors, following last Thursday's "plug" for PPrune in the Dotcom supplement of The Daily Telegraph. I'm sure many will be very worthwhile and some a bit iffy. So what?
Hope nobody notices your profile and starts wondering where the ** generators are on yr glider and how many bucket & spaders have been carted off to sunny climes by yr good self during yr 88hrsTT.
You castigate Mr. Sh N.abatement for watching telly. Should he follow yr apparent lifestyle with an average of 3.4 posts per day since you registered in Feb!? Methinks too much Pruning can ruin the quality of your crop.

con-pilot
5th Jun 2001, 20:09
BECAUSE WE CAN! SO THERE.

I really love to delay the climbout around 5am to make a LOT of noise. If I got to be up, everybody got to be up!

(just kidding)

RW-1
5th Jun 2001, 21:42
Aircraft make noise (in the air)

Pilots make noise (in the pub :))

Don't worry though, give us a description of your dirty lederhosen you wear watching the telly at night and your cross sreets, we can send a whisper mode heli there to take you out.

(The red light on you is only a figment of your imagination .....)

------------------
Marc

Wile E. Coyote
5th Jun 2001, 22:08
Ah - someone else who bought a house near an airfeld which has probably been there since 1935. Didn't you notice the airfield before you signed on the dotted line?

As David Gunson would say "they're difficult to hide, and the Government know where approximately 80% of them are." (Apologies to Mr. Gunson if I've got the quote slightly wrong)

:rolleyes:

Stiff Lil' Fingers
5th Jun 2001, 23:16
Personally, I really miss the fact that Concorde is currently not flying...the noise of it flying overhead at about 7.30am (I can't be too sure of the time as my eyes were usually too blurry to see the alarm clock) every Sunday morning used to serve as an excellent wake up call to get me out of my cot and get the Sunday papers/breakfast in!

You think I jest? I do not.

This thread so obviously a wind-up. But, sure, there needs to be sensitivity around night/early morning flights but if you buy a house near an airport/field what do you expect?

Big Red ' L '
6th Jun 2001, 03:54
Sorry about that Noise person. I will send my mates around to say sorry personally one morning. You will know its them, one will be in a 1-11, another in a dc-9 and the last one in a 727. Sweet dreams...... zzz

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Its not the fall that kills you...Its the sudden stop.....

Fitztightly
6th Jun 2001, 03:57
There was a bloke whose house backed onto the railway I used to work upon. The railway was there a long time before he moved there. Well, he retired and then started complaining obsessively about the noise. He was victorious and a 20mph speed restriction was slapped on that section of line. (even though there were plenty of other places where track noise was, actually, excessive). He then lined up an array of home made traffic signs over the back of his fence. Naughty, I know, but then the train drivers kept seeing a glimpse of orange vest in the distance and felt compelled to blow one long blast on the train whistle when passing :)

[This message has been edited by Fitztightly (edited 05 June 2001).]

BlueDiamond
6th Jun 2001, 04:33
Big mistake, Fitztightly, I can see S...NA now applying for a 20mph speed limit on all aircraft flying past his/her house. Mind you, the pilots could always use it as an opportunity to practice stall control.

:)

Shh... Noise Abatement
6th Jun 2001, 12:41
CANT YOU SLOW DOWN OR SOMETHING WHEN YOU GO OVER HOUSES? IF YOU SLOWED DOWN THEN THE ENGINE WOULD MAKE LESS NOISE. I TRIED TO TALK TO A PILOT ABOUT THIS AND HE WAS REALLY RUDE TO ME. LIKE IBB WAS ABOVE. ARROGANT BASTARDS.

ickle black box
6th Jun 2001, 12:53
I don't know what you're moaning about. Us pilots sit just yards from the noise generator, our ears lightly covered with simple ANR headsets and we can't hear a thing!! You boys down on the ground .. 1/2 a mile away seem to suffer a bone shaking, ground rumbling cacophony of noise which renders sleep impossible, barbeques ruined and headaches generated. I just don't understand it!!

Shh... Noise Abatement
6th Jun 2001, 13:02
WHY ARE YOU SO RUDE TO ME. I ASKED AN HONEST QUESTION. ARE YOU PREPARED TO DISCUSS THIS PROPERLY? I THOUGHT YOU PILOTS HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH LOCAL PEOPLE. IS THIS MAKING FRIENDS?

mad_jock
6th Jun 2001, 13:33
Ok

Where abouts do you live in relation to the airport?

Was the airport there when you moved in?

How long has the airport been there?

Do you use air travel to go on holiday?

The only reason why a pilot would spool up the engines on the approach would be because they need to, as in if they didn't they could hit your house.

Although a mate pumps it a wee bit to tell his wife to put the dinner on.

MJ

Man-on-the-fence
6th Jun 2001, 13:35
Shh person

If you have a genuine complaint about the noise from low flying aircraft then you should take it up with the Environmental Health Department of your local authority, If you get no satisfaction from them, then write to your MP. If you believe that the Air navigation Rules have been broken then Contact the CAA.

DO NOT shout (i.e. write in capitol letters) in very poor English, (I have seen twelve year olds that could write in better English), on a foum that if mainly used to take the piss. If you wish to continue this debate then I suggest that you move it to the Questions forum.

If however, as I suspect, you are only here for the wind up. First and foremost, welcome. Second, I do hope you are bullet proof, because starting something like this in Jet Blast is about as sensible as dressing up as a Klansman in Harlem.

Just for the record, IMHO, if you moved next to that Airport after it was opened and all the rules are being obeyed, then tough! Stop whingeing or move

Slasher
6th Jun 2001, 14:57
On of the benefits of flying here in commieland is that theres no such crap as noise abatement (well there is sort of, but of course everyone ignores it). And theres nothing like winding up the JT8D-17s at 5.30am to a full-power spitting grunt on a nice cool morning. :)

PS Now heres an idea S..NA! Why dont you try moving away from the airport? Ever thought of that? Hmmm? I bet my left nut the airport was there BEFORE you ever were.

Shh... Noise Abatement
6th Jun 2001, 15:07
AS I SED AT THE BEGINNING, I AM WRITING IN CAPITALS BECAUSE I HAVE TO SHOUT TO MAKE MYSELF HEARD OVER ALL THE NOISE. SOMETIMES THE PLANES ARE LANDING OVER MY HOUSE. SOMETIMES THEY ARE TAKING OFF. WHY IS THAT? CANT YOU JUST STICK TO ONE DIRECTION SO THAT I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT? I KNOW IT MUST BE BORING TO ALWAYS USE THE SAME DIRECTION, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE DOWN HERE WHO WANT TO GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES.

ANOTHER THING. I GET BIG PLANES AND SMALL PLANES WITH PROPELLERS OVER MY HOUSE. WHY CANT THE SMALL PLANES GO AWAY SOMEWHERE ELSE. THERE NOISE IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE BIG PLANES.

Slasher
6th Jun 2001, 15:15
You DO vote Labor dont you.

Shh... Noise Abatement
6th Jun 2001, 16:01
NO. I DONT THINK YOU ARE TAKING MY PROBLEM VERY SERIOUSLY. THINGS ARE REALLY NOISY HERE. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE.

Man-on-the-fence
6th Jun 2001, 16:03
Slasher

He's all yours. Just try and keep the mess to managable proportions :)

beaconoutbound
6th Jun 2001, 16:41
SNA

So come on then, out with it...
Who do you fly for??? ;)

Shh... Noise Abatement
6th Jun 2001, 16:55
I DONT FLY FOR ANYONE. I ONCE WENT TO ITALY BY PLANE AND IT MADE ME SICK. IF I EVER GO TO FRANMCE THEN I TAKE THE EUROTUNNEL.

WHY IS NOONE ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS?

Feeton Terrafirma
6th Jun 2001, 17:04
Some people are born stupid. Then others try to imitate them S...NA

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I'm not a PPRuNe addict. (just need one more post)

mad_jock
6th Jun 2001, 17:09
It looks quite like the style of that french tw*t on the wannabes list.

MJ

little red train
6th Jun 2001, 17:36
"THERE MUST BE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE."

a. you don't by a bloody house near an airport

b. we all make more noise till you go deaf

c. cancel the world economy and everone travel by horse, and complaining time wasters decide to whinge about the smell.

"SOMETIMES THE PLANES ARE LANDING OVER MY HOUSE"

give us the proper cordinates and we'll do a good job and land bang on it.


Why don't we all comlain about Halfords, they sell those "pumping bass" stereos, and big bore cherry bomb exhasts fitted to every nova around. screaching their tyres, racing down streets at 4 in the morning?

[This message has been edited by little red train (edited 06 June 2001).]

Grainger
6th Jun 2001, 19:26
OK, here's my solution.

Let's build a great big new town in the middle of nowhere, and all the NIMBYs can go and live there in each other's back yards, leaving the rest of us to get on with the real world.

ickle black box
6th Jun 2001, 19:45
I was told to take off from the Intl airport, and do a right turn before 10th Street for noise abatement. The tower asked why I was crossing the town at 200' on full power. I advised them that I was trying to read the street signs.

Velvet
6th Jun 2001, 20:19
Well really, 'shh' have you thought how hard a Pilot's life is. He has to get up really early to get the airport. Have you done anything but moan that they are flying over your house, you should be honoured, there are people who wait for hours at an airport for said planes and where are they - flying over your house. Goodness, some people have no gratitude.

If you don't stop shouting, we'll all go deaf and then we'll have to make more noise flying over your house.

DX Wombat
6th Jun 2001, 21:58
There is a very simple solution to this problem and what is more it is legal. Just buy a pair of those cordless headphones then you can watch your tv in peace and the rest of us civilised people can enjoy seeing and hearing the aircraft. Bring back Concorde! There is no better sight or sound! Yes I do live under the flight path for my local airport which caters for aircraft of all shapes and sizes, including Concorde, so may I suggest you leave us in peace and go and do some shopping?

trolleydollylover
6th Jun 2001, 22:37
lets get the vc10's from brize - that will learn him i have done away with shouting cos i am a pacificst - pacificist - passiffist
conscientious objector

Send Clowns
7th Jun 2001, 02:48
Wombat - it's not Hurn Airport is it you live near? Not many had Concorde visit regularily.

On the thread - this must be a windup. How many complainants would use the term 'noise abatement'?

Shh... Noise Abatement
7th Jun 2001, 11:17
I started this thread in good faith hopping that I could discuss this problem with experts in there field. All I have seen are lots of jokes at my expence. People like me have to live with the noise. Not you rich pilots living in your pretty cottages in the country away from the noisy airports. Now I know why my nieghbor gave up talking to people like you. You really are a lot of arrogant bastards arent you. Do your windows shake all evening. I dont think so. Do you get woken up every morning to the sound of jets. I dont think so. If enough of us complain together we will get your stupid airport shut down.

Slasher
7th Jun 2001, 11:36
Yeh hes a Labor-votin poofter alright. Written all over him.

cb747
7th Jun 2001, 12:09
shh,

Which airport is it ?

[This message has been edited by cb747 (edited 07 June 2001).]

Shh... Noise Abatement
7th Jun 2001, 12:37
I live in Heald Green near Stockport. The planes go right over my house. Thank for the serious question. It is pretty bad when the planes come over with their wheels down. It ios worst when the take off instead. Why do they change direction. It would be a little better if they only landed.

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 13:13
It all depends on wind direction. So which way the jets come in is really not up to us.
The direction is a safety thing not a political one.

And as for why they need to fly over houses you have to look at why the houses were built there in the first place. Which is more than likly because industry was attracted because of the transport links. Which then improved the local economy which then attracted people to live and work. So the whole reason why your house was built in the first place was the airport. And if the airport goes the industry will not have as strong economic reason for locating in your area and will move to a better area near better transport links. So your in a catch 22, if the noise is there your area stay's the same economically if it is shut down you could be very well out of a job or have to move anyway. Its a big picture, not the small picture the residents like to focus on

MJ

Wile E. Coyote
7th Jun 2001, 13:18
Heald Green, eh? In which case it's Manchester airport that's giving you grief. Heald Green is what - about 3 miles E or NE from the airport as the crow flies?

An aircraft generally has to take off or land heading as much as possible into the wind. If it doesn't, it either will crash or at the very least the safety of the flight is not assured. And a crashing aircraft makes a hell of a lot more noise than one just flying over.

The reason the aircraft turn after takeoff is to reduce as much as possible the noise to as many people on the ground as possible. And as soon as they safely can, a jet pilot flying from Manchester reduces engine power after takeoff again to reduce the noise.

Shh... Noise Abatement
7th Jun 2001, 13:35
Thank you for the serius answers. I did not realise that big modern planes still have to worry about a bit of wind. Maybe it is because the weather is so windy and rainy around here makes it a special case? Is it possible for the planes to change the direction that they land. If the planes could vary the direction a bit then I could have some peace sometimes.

Big Red ' L '
7th Jun 2001, 15:44
Shh....Dont come on to a pilots web site knocking their lifestyle and where they live. Ask a question by all means, but dont take the piss like you have you northen scum......

P.S....How long have you lived there eh......? Please answer that....

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Its not the fall that kills you...Its the sudden stop.....

Wile E. Coyote
7th Jun 2001, 15:49
The runways at Manchester are aligned southwest to northeast. As the winds in the UK are more likely to come from the southwest than the northeast, the aircraft will most of the time have to fly in a southwest direction, i.e. approach from the northeast.

If they are three miles from touchdown, then they are flying very approximately a thousand feet above you. To safely land a big jet, when you are at one thousand feet on the approach, you should be aligned with the runway, descending down the "glideslope" at exactly the right rate, be flying at exactly the right speed and have the gear down and flaps down, and - unfortunately for you - this means that the engines have to produce quite a bit of power to overcome the drag from the gear and flaps.

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 15:58
Ssh Go to the libary and get a book out called "Handling the big Jets"

Quite alot of it won't mean much but it will give you and insite of the problems involved and the work that pilots do.

It isn't all glamour, if a plane goes over your house at 6:00am its more than likely the crew were up at 3am and then they can be looking forward to anything up to 14-16hrs before they get home.

MJ

PS i don't think your Northern your barely in the Midlands :)

Big Red ' L '
7th Jun 2001, 16:34
Shhh. I am only kidding about the northen scum bit, i am a northener myself....

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Its not the fall that kills you...Its the sudden stop.....

Tricky Woo
7th Jun 2001, 16:55
Shh,

You're in luck, me old Northern Mucker: The airport authorities at Manchester recently agreed to pilot (no pun intended) a new type of runway. That's why they needed to build the left-hand runway where they did; they had to leave plenty of space between for this fantastic new invention. Shame about the trees and bunnies, though.

You had a Hornby train-set when you were little, right? I know I did. Do you remember those rotating pieces of track for turning the engines around so that they face t'other way? Well, that's the sort of thing that's going to be built at Ringway: A sort of rotating runway. Brilliant! And British too... Of course the Yanks are very interested.

Although the first version will require careful, manual alignment with the wind direction, later versions will have a sort of weather-cock connected that should automate the whole thing. Some pilots are dubious about it, but the ground staff have promised not to move it about too much if there's anything sliding down the ILS.

Don't sell your house quite yet, Shh, 'cos modern technology is going to add quite a few grand to its value. Be patient for just a little while longer... Feel free to tell your neighbours, 'cos it's no longer being kept secret.

TW

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 17:08
Has there been any word on how they are going to do the approach plates?

Or have i just fallen for a wind up?

MJ

Tricky Woo
7th Jun 2001, 17:31
mad_jock,

A very good question. The senior engineer on this project (Can't tell you his name 'cos of industrial espionage risks) told me that the new runway will indeed require some new approaches to be approved.

While it's clear that the runway direction is completely variable, it was decided that it might be better to restrict the alignment to a smaller number of approved directions.

The project team proposed ten degree increments allowing the familiar runway 10, 20... 36, designations to be used. However, the CAA quite rightly pointed out that thirty six approach plates for Manchester would be too confusing in the cockpit. Personally, I think they greatly underestimate the modern pilot's ability when confronted with complexity. Ever seen an approach plates for Nice?

Anyway, they've agreed to twenty degree increments, reducing the requirement to just eighteen plates. As a further concession to cockpit workload, it was decided that the first runway would be 20, then 40, 60... etc. I think you'll agree that getting rid of all those silly, hard-to-remember odd numbers will be a boon.

TW

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 17:42
I don't think 36 plates would be to much of a problem.

Sorry I am a ex-Mech engineer and this sounds interesting.

Do you know how they are going to move the ILS gear about?

I thought you had to have reasonable alignment for the loc.

MJ

Tricky Woo
7th Jun 2001, 17:51
mad_jock,

Dreadfully sorry, but the ILS solution is still rather hush-hush. Sorry.

TW

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 17:51
In fact shall we move this discussion to rumour & news ?


I think some of the others might like to hear and add to the discussion.

Ssh if you have any more questions continue posting them to this thread

MJ

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 17:56
Sorry the old flood thing stoped me seeing your reply. It is very interesting though.

Do you have any idea on the length of it? And maximum landing weight?

MJ

Tricky Woo
7th Jun 2001, 18:05
mad_jock,

I really do feel a bit bad for letting even this much of the moggie out of the bag... I only referred to the project because I wanted to reassure Mr Shh.

TW

Shh... Noise Abatement
7th Jun 2001, 18:24
I am not sure if I understand much of this. It sounds good. It will be better for me if their are less planes. When will it be installed. Wily Coyote said that the winds here come from the south east. Does that mean that this new run way will mostly point at my house.

Big Red ' L '
7th Jun 2001, 18:28
Brilliant.....I am laughing sooooooooooooo much right now, great stuff.... :) :) :) :)

------------------
Its not the fall that kills you...Its the sudden stop.....

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 18:30
Sorry we will drop the subject then.

Ssh it certainly won't mean there is less Planes in fact in some wind directions there may be even be more if the old and new are in the same direction and they use 2 runways.

Unfortunatly the people who are under the most common wind direction will still get most of the traffic unless they decide to let the planes practise x-wind landings in light winds and alter the direction to give people peace.

MJ

ExSimGuy
7th Jun 2001, 19:16
Mr Shhh,

It's not easy to know if you are a pilot having a bl00dy good windup (as I assumed when I first saw this thread) or really a very uninformed member of "Joe Public".

If the latter, then you probably won't understand some of he "technical bits" or the "wind-ups" about rotating runways.

Most of the guys posting here reveal their email addresses and will answer serious enquiries.

I once (just married!) rented a flat just North of the point at Heathrow where the Tridents (loverly aeroplane but those 3 Speys were incredibly noisy :) ) put on full reverse thrust to try to stop the damned things before runing out of runway. I knew about the Tridents, the flat was cheap, so I took it. Most people find a residence that fits their pocket and buy it; if the reason why it was so afordable was because it was under the flight path - don't complain! Do you fly to the "Costa Packet" (or even Dubai?) for you summer holiday? If so, do you fly from Luton to avoid inconveniencing your neighbours?

If the former, "bl00dy gud wind-up :) "

(email address posted on the board)

As for those damned KC135 tankers, fully laden, who left skid-marks on the roof of my flat in Riyadh during the Gulf War . . .

------------------
What goes around . . .
. . often lands better!

[This message has been edited by ExSimGuy (edited 07 June 2001).]

tony draper
7th Jun 2001, 19:44
There is another solution to this thorny problem.
I have for the last two decades bombarded the patents office in a effort to get my idea adopted, alas to no avail.
I suggest that all runways be constructed with a 30% downward tilt into the prevailing windward direction.
On the first third of this I would cause to be constructed a steam catapult, this would be a gentle one g apparatus,capable of accellerating any heavier than air machine up to say one hundred miles in one hour.
the rest of the neccessary kinetic energy would be gleaned by utillising the gravity of the last two thirds of said downhill sloped runway.
The aircraft would now be travelling at such a velocity that the pilot could cause it to leap into the air in total silence, and once at a sufficient altitude and distance from inhabited area's the engines could be switched on, and said craft could proceed on its way without causing undue annoyance to civilians.
Might I also suggest that all the moving parts of the locomotive apparatus ie, turbine blades be replaces with ones manufactures from rubber, and rotating shafts etc, could be cut from a timber such as lignum vitae thus causing these engines
to produce thrust in a much more silent manner.

little red train
7th Jun 2001, 21:20
Why don't they dig big tunnels and fly the planes underground!!

(tis jetblast afterall)

Send Clowns
7th Jun 2001, 22:31
Sorry to disappoint you Shh...NA but from the start you got the best answer. If you didn't want the noise, why did you buy the house?

It could be seen as quite injurious as well to talk about '..all you rich pilots...' when some people here have recently paid up to 55 000 and a year out of life to qualify. Then we can pick up jobs earning 10-12 000 easily, if we pay another 5 500 and spend 5 weeks training to instruct. otherwise we have to go on the job round, waiting maybe up to 2 years, probably for a job paying 18-25 000.

You may agree that the only figure mentioned that is extreme is the one we have to pay out. And did you realise that your 'compassionate' government has just removed tax relief from all training courses, adding about 9-12 000 to the cost of most courses? We have to pay the whole lot our selves, and tax on the money we earn to pay it off.

Those who are not in commercial aviation scrimp and save to pay for some of the most expensive aviation in the world. Very few are rich to start with, even fewer once they have paid for their training and licences.

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'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

RW-1
8th Jun 2001, 01:51
Funny that Shh believes we are rich .....

It's fairly simplistic, was the airport there when you moved in?

Passengers want the best of both worlds, they want on time departures and takeoffs here in the US, they want safety, BUT ......


Don't want it over them, dont want more runways built, so you have steep noise abatement procedures, pilots asked to THROTTLE DOWN during the most critical point in the flight (to some). Sickening.


You want an answer to why aircraft are flying over you? I suggest going to the airport itself. however if you moved in i do not understand how one can then demand that existing traffic make way. It is not done intentionally.

Geez ....


------------------
Marc

ExSimGuy
8th Jun 2001, 08:43
Forget these silly ideas about sloping runways and turntables my patent goes way further;

It's a well-known fact that most aircraft accidents happen below 1,000 feet (AGL). So it's obvious to an intelligent mind that we should build runways above that height, and the aircraft will never have to descent below 1000.

This would bring an added advantage in terms of the real-estate required for airports, as the "infrastructure" (checkin, immigaration, shops, lost baggage desks etc) could be located in a 50-storey building immediately under the runways.

In addition, the aircraft would immediately be at 1000 feet as they leave the airport, requiring far less noise-abatement worries and also giving the pilots an extra 1000 feet to play with should all 4 engines flame out for some reason :)

Safety, Real Estate savings, Environmentalism - what a combination, when can we start ;) ;)

But I suppose that people who bought houses to the immediate North of the airport would be complaining that the sun never shone http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

[This message has been edited by ExSimGuy (edited 08 June 2001).]

Evo7
8th Jun 2001, 12:14
But I suppose that people who bought houses to the immediate North of the airport would be complaining that the sun never shone

Too much noise, then no sun. Some people are never happy :)

Tricky Woo
8th Jun 2001, 12:33
Mr Shh,

As you have do doubt gathered, some of the pilots here have decided to wind you up outrageously with crackpot ideas. Steam-cannons, runways in the air, and the like are just not feasible.

Other pilots seem to be unsympathetic, i.e. "why did you buy the house, etc, etc", but are in reality defensive against these sorts of complaints. Don't let them get to you.

Some of us really do sympathise with you.

I think that you posted here in good faith, which is why I told you about the new project. Why don't you wait for the couple of years that it'll take to implement the new runway and then see?

Until then, perhaps you could go to a flying school and see the hard work that pilots go through during their training? You may then become more sympathetic to pilot's concerns in return.

Take care.

TW

121decimal5
8th Jun 2001, 13:32
Ahh, you have all missed the most elegantly simple solution to the problem! As I see it the problem is that large, noisy aircraft are flying over large cities thus making large amounts of noise over people. This problem has in fact been over come in the Republic of Ireland and is demonstrated by Knock Airport. The solution is to build the large airport far away from anyone who might actually want to use it so that they are not disturbed by the noise of the aircraft takeing off or landing.

There could be a draw back to building a large airfield in the middle of nowhere, but I can't see one!

On another point, with the rotating runway, why not build a giant metal cockeral in the middle to catch the wind so the runway automatically swings into the wind? (Again, there could be ILS problems with this)

tony draper
8th Jun 2001, 13:43
Bring back the flying boat, four fifths of the earth is covered by runway, some of it very remote. ;)

Shh... Noise Abatement
8th Jun 2001, 14:02
Apart from Tricky woo everyone is messing around with me. Dont mess around with me. Please take this seriusly. This is a serius post. Exsimguy knows what its like living near an airport. It is really noisy. Some jets have four jets and their worse.

Thank you Tricky woo for your posts. You take this seriusly. Thank you for the information. If it wasnt for you I would have given up on this place.

little red train
8th Jun 2001, 14:36
SNA. its hard to take it 'seriusly' you bought a house by an airport. duhh, there will be aircraft, its not like you didn't know.

this constant 'its to noisy for ME' 'why cant you fly somewhere else' is rather selfish. nearly every aircraft flying over your head is taking over 100 people somewhere, and pumping more into the economy though jobs, taxes, tourisim than you probably make in a year. and it should all stop for you have a bit of consideration. constantly asking for aircraft to use fewer runways in less and less of a favorable wind is dangerous. we should make flying less safe so its nice and quite for you... till another nova with its halfords stereo and big bore exhast goes screatching by.

Velvet
8th Jun 2001, 15:12
Excuse me Shh, but you are the one who came here (you weren't forced), shouting and ranting about inconsiderate pilots. Then you complain that you are not treated with respect and courtesy.

You have many misconceptions about aviation life, including assumptions about pilots and the rest who post here and their lifestyles, salaries etc.

You were rude and abusive, and then expect us to turn round and politely answer what was in effect a rather ridiculous statement 'that you were trying to watch television whilst overhead planes were ruining your viewing hours'. What on earth did you expect - imagine us going into your work place (or pub) and shouting that you were spoiling some aspect of our lives - would you really just smile gently and say kindly 'Oh, don't worry, I'll find some other employment that doesn't annoy you, and we'll close down this company and throw hundreds of people out of work'.

You say you tried to talk to a pilot and he was rude, well if you used the same sort of tactics as in here - that was deserved. You have shown arrogance and ignorance and still think you have a right to demand answers (or you'll go away).

You claim pilots should make friends with local people - why? If they are based at a different airport (country) and only there for a few hours whilst they turnround, how would they do that.

Several posters on here have given you some sensible responses including ExSimGuy who gave you some good advice.

This is JetBlast, not a serious forum, and your approach has guaranteed that you would get the response you obviously wanted.

Planes fly out of airports, you moved into a house that was near an airport (presumably), what is it you expect them now to do - close the airport because you do not fly and want to watch television.

I too know what it is like to live near an airport, but hey guess what the airport was there decades before I moved in. It was not something you could miss, nor the planes flying over my house when I was viewing it.

I've also lived in a rural community and I didn't complain either about the cockerel that woke me at sunrise, nor the peacocks who had the unfortunate habit of screeching at odd hours (yes, sometimes 11.00pm). The cuckoo who decided to sit outside my window and cuckoo for a whole month (seemingly without cessation). Or the rooks who hammered at the window, attacking their reflection. Oh and the church bell practice every Tuesday evening between 7.00 and 11.00pm (and they never got any better).

Some people have their peace disturbed by heavy traffic, some by factories and some by noisy neighbours - not all have the luxury of knowing this before they move in. It's all part of modern living and a more sensible view would be to assess whether you wish to continue living there or move.

However, I'm still not convinced that you are genuine and you sound rather immature.

What kind of work do you do? Can I make a critique of its effect on others not connected with it?

------------------
How do you explain to a caterpillar that it can become a butterfly, and will, regardless of its current belief system.

tunneler
8th Jun 2001, 15:16
2 ideas..........

1 - Move house.

2 - Chop yer ****in' ears off.

any questions?

Bleater
8th Jun 2001, 18:03
These ramps and rotating runways are just silly. My idea is much better and is an extension of landing on a field with a bend in it so a rate one turn was needed on touchdown. no harder than landing in a crosswind, anyone can do it http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/cool.gif. So build an enourmous circular runway with a camber on it, a bit like some racetracks only lots bigger. On takeoff there will be no issue with length so reduced power with less noise can be used, very safe in a emergency-No V1 !!. Once the required speed is gained off straight ahead over the lip launching the aircraft aloft. Come to think of it two runways, the outer for takeoffs and the inner for landing would make ATC a breeze :)
On landing always into wind and lots of room so no noisy reverse thrust. Lots of variety for residents as the Aircraft can be on finals anywhere around the big circle, spreading the noise nicely. The embankment required would also contain noise and all airport faculties can be in the middle. Maybe Pilots could be contained inside the circle as well to avoid being rude to anyone. This is a brilliant solution, I are a genious ;) ;) ;), and not a pom either

traveler
8th Jun 2001, 19:25
If I understand correctly people around Amsterdam Schiphol Airport complain the most. 10 times more than for example around Heathrow. And it is not the busiest field in Europe. Possibly because the toll-free telephone number is well known and well advertised. So they studied it. Do the Dutch complain more ? Well yeah, but not 10 times. So it turned out there is a select group of activists who make the bulk of all calls. (sadder than PpRuNe addicts?) Their behaviour has become so routine that they now call according to the airlines timetable, whether they are home or not (Hey, you can do this while on vacation!), even when the flight was cancelled.
So are they taken seriously ? Well, the discussion is ongoing even in government.
Is the airport closed down ? :) right, it is a money-maker and a large employer.

4PON4PIN
8th Jun 2001, 19:47
One day, Umpty Ump years ago, a chum of mine was Station Duty Officer (SDO) at Valley (an RAF station on the island of Anglesy, just
off the North Wales coast).The SDO was Flight Lieutenant rank and he/she was the general factotum for the day on a rota system that came round on a frequency dependant upon how many Flt Lt's there were on a station, or how often you'd dropped yourself in the ***** and copped for extra sessions! (I know of 2 reprobates at Lyneham who shared the role for a coupla months, much to the amusement of colleagues!!).

Anyhow, the SDO would handle queries / complaints from Mr. Joe P., as well as other odds 'n sods in the daily routine of the station. Any complaints had to be fully logged/documented and follow-up action
taken. At the time pilots did their Gnat training at Valley so lots of night flying as well as daytime circuits and bumps. And lots of complaints! ......
On this particular day,SDO receives phone call from a rather exasperated Mr. JP and the conversation was something like...

SDO: Flt Lt X speaking may I help?
JP: I hope so, yes, it's the noise.
SDO: The noise! What noise?
JP: The aeroplane noise. Lots of aeroplanes you see. All the time. Last night, this morning, now. Round and round, right over us.
SDO: Are you making a complaint Mr. JP?
JP: No! no! But it's the noise, I can't stand it,it's so unfair! It's such a problem.
SDO: I'm not sure I understand your problem sir. You say you're not complaining?
JP: No, I'm not complaining, but I arrived up here last night with my wife and kids for a 10 day holiday in a camper that we hired. It's the noise you see.
SDO: I'm still not quite with you sir.
JP: Well I live in London, just 2 miles due east of Heathrow airport and I work 2 miles due west of the airport. So it's the noise.
SDO: So you like the noise of aeroplanes?
JP: NOOOOO can't stand it if truth be known but it's so unfair!
SDO: And you're not complaining?
JP: Just try and understand.. we put up with the noise at home, 'cos we live there and my job is there. A friend suggested we take a nice peaceful holiday in the countryside and I spotted this good deal for
10 days in a camper on the island of Anglesy.
SDO: Go on.
JP: Well we arrived up last night and just as it was getting dark, it all started.
SDO: What did?
JP: The noise. The bloody noise! I get it every day throughout the year at Heathrow and we thought we'd get away from it in the countryside.(Sounds of sniffling and deep breaths). I didn't know there was a bloody
RAF base right next to where we're camping and we've paid to be here for 10 days.
SDO: And you're sure you're not complaining?
JP: No No. (more sniffling and a stifled sob or two)
SDO: Then may I ask why you're calling?
JP: I,... I.. I just felt I had to tell someone!!!!! (sob, sob)


Now this guy I'm sure we could all have empathy with.
But as for you SNA .... work it fella!

P.S. Love the great ideas pouring forth. Think I'll go and do some pouring at home and see what I can patent!

con-pilot
8th Jun 2001, 20:47
Bleater, believe it or not your idea was tried already. Back in the 1960s the FAA in its faultless unbounded wisdom actually attempted the racetrack style runway/airport design. They used a NASCAR type racetrack with banked curves. I can't remember which racetrack. Anyway, at first light aircraft were used with pretty good results, but then they tried it with a DC-6. I believe the tract was a 4 mile oval. The airplane started its takeoff run on the flat straight-a-way and was doing very nicely until it started the first banked curve, the airplane started slowing down and lost speed until it got to the level back straight at which time the airplane started to accelerate again. Unfortunately the airplane did not achieve rotation speed before it started into the second curve, well you can see where this is going. They finally made it off the ground and landed at a real airport.

You may wonder how the airplane got to the racetrack in the first place. They flew it in. On landing the banked curves worked real well, damn thing slowed beautifully. In any case the project was buried deep in a file never to see the light of day again.

Back to our unhappy camper. Years ago I was in San Diego Ca. and had gone out to the lookout point on Point Magu (sp?). A really beautiful place where one can see San Diego harbor, North Island naval base and the god-awful San Diego Int. airport. As I was admiring the view I overheard a conversation between any elderly couple. The man was complaining about the aircraft noise coming from the airport. His line of reasoning was that due to the speed of jet airplanes nobody needed to fly at night or early in the morning. He said "Hell anybody can be anywhere in this country in three or four hours. So why fly early or at night?"

So I started thinking about that idea. Just think, no more 4am wake ups, no more after midnight landings and always being around for happy hour. Doesn't sound too bad does it?

What do you think, not bad huh?

By the way I really think this thread is windup, othewise why did Sh Na post it in JetBlast?

Send Clowns
8th Jun 2001, 21:12
Shhh ... NA you still have not told us why you bought a house on the flightpath. Until you explain that, I'm afraid you should really expect very little sympathy.

However, you are not alone:

A friend of mine had been a cadet on Liverpool University Air Squadron. One day he was duty student, basically keeping weather and flying programme up to date and answering the phones.

One phone call was a noise complaint, that red and white light aircraft were flying over his house noisily at very low level, and disturbing the peace. Well there were no squadron officers available to take the call, so standard practice was to take details - name, phone, loaction for someone to call back. Putting the phone down, and not busy, my curious friend checked the ordance survey map to find where the caller lived. Turned out he lived so close on the extended centreline that when my friend, incredulous, told his instructor later he was told 'Yeah, we know him. He's even got one of the approach lights in his back garden!'.

A housing estate was recently built near Blackbushe airport (one of the oldest in the country). When people moved in there were so many noise complaints that the council forced them to close their second runway, compromising flight safety! :mad:

Now do you seewhy we have no sympathy, Shh .. NA?

------------------
'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

little red train
8th Jun 2001, 21:28
there was a case a while ago where the usuall hard-core flood of complaints came in. the only problem... no aircraft: telext had got the flight time wrong!

I've tried to be considerate about these people, yes I try to make as little noise around the circut, avoid low flying/PFLs near anyone. however, if people are stupid enought to by a house on short finals. I've got little time other than to laugh when they complain so incesently.

Slasher
9th Jun 2001, 05:17
You come barging in here S..NA ranting and bloodey raving and calling us a bunch of arrogant bastards. You obviously have no comprehension skills pal. Thats why I think your a joke. Take you seriously? Ha!

DX Wombat
9th Jun 2001, 13:54
I may be very wrong but I have the feeling that Heald Green is a council housing estate and if so, Shh NA may not have had much choice about where he/she lives. It still doesn't excuse the abusive language though.

GoGirl
11th Jun 2001, 17:25
Hahahaha!! I get to (what was then) the second last post on this thread (to date) courtesy of dear ol Slash, thinking I would be the only one to pick up on the fact that at the very first post this bloke made on this thread labelling pilots as, and I quote 'Selfish Bastard Pilots', to find that my mate over in Commie land beat me to it!!!
Jeeez, I just waded through all this crap for NUTHINK!!
Still, I did have to say it :)


GG

------------------
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2"> Don't get mad...get everything. Ivana Trump </font>

RW-1
11th Jun 2001, 22:18
With his sentance structure, I think his mum bought his house under the flightpath, and he lives with her ....

If so when you are of age you can move to a deep dark cave far below ground, and not have to worry .... until the underground gets close :)

------------------
Marc

[This message has been edited by RW-1 (edited 11 June 2001).]

Gerund
12th Jun 2001, 01:24
SSSShhhhhh -

Do not listen to the likes of Slasher and Velvet. They are liberal tree huggers.

When I am in power, all houses near airfields will be demolished, and all residents who complain (from their tents) will be shot.

I have had noise complaints laid against me personally and, I can tell you, it is damn irritating to get called up in the air with that sort of nonsense. Quite puts you off your stroke.

Of course, it was a colonel. You are not a colonel are you? You know, the rank in the army that never made it to brigadier through being incompetent at age 40? Just a thought.

I think I found his house on one of my rambles in the country. But the deck chair and binoculars weren't sufficient evidence to kill. Touch and go.

Where do you live? Maybe I could come and visit and talk things over quietly.

Shh... Noise Abatement
12th Jun 2001, 12:35
It is true that my parents bought this house in 1962. They died a few years ago. I inherated it. Ilive here now. What has thisgot to do with the price of bread? I am sorry that I called you selfish bastards. Some of you are not. Tricky Woo and ExsimGuy were understanding. They are not selfish bastards. Some people are not so nice. Slasher is really horrible. Is he australian? I wouldnt be surprised. Even his profile is rude. Gerand sounds a bit strange.

JPJ
12th Jun 2001, 12:48
I have just come to this thread stone cold, and have read straight through it.

I am 95% sure that Mr. SNA is a highly skilled pi** taker who had led a lot of you right up the garden path. It clinched it for me when he asked if Slasher was an Australian.

Come on SNA, you've had your fun, who are you really?

Velvet
12th Jun 2001, 15:07
If I tell you, I'll have to kill you - I might point out his spelling has gone downhill a tad.

He's right though Gerand is 'strange' and I haven't hugged a liberal tree for ages ;)

Gerund
12th Jun 2001, 15:23
sshh, you know who -

Strange? What a bloody nerve. And you don't have the decency to bother to spell my name correctly. I come on to add balance to the debate and you go off half cock. Who do you think you are? If you want to generate animosity, and more noise, just go around spelling more helpful posters' names incorrectly. It is the height of rudeness. I want an apology, and I want it now!

As for you Velvet, I am going to give you a damn good spanking.

[This message has been edited by Gerund (edited 12 June 2001).]

Velvet
12th Jun 2001, 15:35
Goodness Gerund you know the way to a girl's heart

Slasher
12th Jun 2001, 17:56
Yeh I can be a bit of a real c*nt alright Shh..NA. I just like takin the p!sser out of people such as yourself. I mean since OCBs disapeared somewhere up his own @rsehole, you now "it"!

Send Clowns
12th Jun 2001, 23:19
Yes, Shh ... NA, but Slasher's profile is accurate and complete, and he is popular here because he is completely genuine, and never gets offended by anything. Your profile is incomplete, and your populularity is on a par with sausage rolls at a bar-mitzvah.

The people here are not unpleasant. You have had a bad response because you started out being completely selfish, whinging and offensive. Not the best way to win friends and influence people.

You are selfish : you were given a house, and complain when it has a problem, and demand that we give up our livelihood/hobby to sort your problem. If you don't like aircraft noise, sell it and live elsewhere. We are not particularily selfish. We bend over backwards and risk our lives to make our passtime/job less annoying for people with noise abatement procedures. We just query your right to stop us aviating.

Pilots minimise noise disturbance. Pilots have put up with a lot of crap from people moving in then trying to stop them aviating. Try to understand out point of view!

------------------
'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

Grainger
13th Jun 2001, 16:30
Shh...

Send Clowns has put his finger on the situation very clearly: OK you inherited the house but it is still your choice to continue living there. I also inherited a house from my parents but as I wanted to live somewhere else it was sold and we moved.

I'm sorry for your loss but as SC says at least you were given [inherited anyway] the house. There are an awful lot of people who started with absolutely nothing who get up every day at the crack of dawn and work terribly long hours to pay the mortgage so they can live where they want. No wonder you haven't recevied too much sympathy.

You have the freedom of choice to live wherever you want, so if you don't like it where you are then you know what to do.

Bleater
13th Jun 2001, 17:21
I think poor old SNA could be doing himself in here, I mean I fly one of the horrible little things with propellers and am sure that since he lives about 4 miles from the end of 24 R the prop RPM could come up just a little bit sooner on approach, just so he knows people are working :) :)
Also more ideas, gliders are launched by winches and have no engines at all, so make no noise. So lets launch Jets by winch!!, no niose and think of the savings on fuel and increased range :). On landing turn the engines off 50 miles out and use a steeper approach angle, same as a glider and very quiet :) OK it would make ATC a bit tricky and when it went wrong and someone crashed on SNA's house well that would make quite a din!
Hey never thought my racetrack idea had actually been tried, have landed on a curved airstrip though and found it suprisingly easy. Or how about really big tethered balloons lifting aircraft up to say 10 000 ft, they could then start engines and have enough airspace to gain flying speed before hitting the ground ;)Finally at least when a jet lands it shuts down and stops whining, unlike SNA. He IS a windup , surely?

Tricky Woo
13th Jun 2001, 17:25
Mr Shh,
You're very welcome. As I've stated before, I always try to give a chap a leg up, if possible. I don't know why you're so hot on ExSimGuy, though, 'cos he spent half a post doubting your identity.

Don't worry too much about Gerund. He's a grammatical abstraction misunderstood by the majority. Right, Mr G?

Lastly, having a pop at Slash is rather unhealthy as he bites. I guess you got the Aussie thing from sniffing around his older posts? Whatever...

Lastly, there are some what does, and there are some what don't. What? Doubt your identity of course... I shall look in interest to see whether you turn out to be naughty or not.

TW

Shh... Noise Abatement
17th Jun 2001, 12:15
Ive been told that Tricky woo was winding me up. Now Im really wound up!!! Now I know that tricky woo is also a selfish bastard. All you pilots are the same. My frined said my house would be wrth a lot more if it wasnt for the planes. All I ask is for the planes to sometimes go to the airport in a different way. I now know not to trust youpilot bastards. I bet you all live in nice villages in the country. Heald Green is not a counsil estate. It would be nicer without the planes.

Send Clowns
17th Jun 2001, 12:45
Now I really am annoyed at you, Sh...NA. You are now admitting to being selfish enough to want me to risk my life and those of any passengers I carry (although I am not yet a professional pilot I have the licence, so may soon be carrying a lot of people) making downwind approaches just to increase the value of your house to above the highest level it has ever been! (I am sure that would be the case - the airport will have suppressed its value so far)

This is a house that your parents bought knowing it was next to an airport and you never paid anything for.

Either that or you have not read the thread. We make approaches into wind if at all possible. They are considerably safer than downwind approaches (ask Prince Charles). Most of us have paid thousands of pounds for courses, some arduous, or else stayed in very low-paid jobs hour building in order to become skilled pilots and improve flight safety. This is a legal requirement. You then want to reduce flight safety for your own profit.

Now who looks like a selfish bastard?

Send Clowns
17th Jun 2001, 12:54
PS I live in the attic of a house on the edge of a rough area of Bournemouth. The house is cheap because of the area and the noisy main road, otherwise my lovely landlady, a single parent, wouldn't be able to afford it (she takes no money off the government, gets little from the kids' father). Access to my room is awkward, I am a 5-mile cycle from work. The reason I am here (and cycling) is that it is cheap, because I don't have much money. I just spent over 35 000 and 15 often depressing, stressful months of my life learning to be a good, safe, pilot, so I don't crash on your house.

I do not live in some nice village somewhere, OK?

RoyalRock
17th Jun 2001, 13:09
I don't see the problem with house value in the locale of an airport. My house is close enough to Heathrow to have airliners flying over all day. I live in Weybridge (Surrey) and the house is worth the best part of 4 million. Perhaps the complaining fool should get out of the northern toilet he calls home and get a decent job that pays decent money ergo nice new house away from noisy planes!!!

Per Ardua

Northern poor person in my employ, pass me another glass of Pimms theres a good chap.

[This message has been edited by RoyalRock (edited 17 June 2001).]

Tricky Woo
17th Jun 2001, 21:41
Mr Shh,

Well, I guess that particular moggie is out of the bag. Tell me, which bounder ratted on me? Have you been talking to the perfidious TG? Look on the bright side: for nearly a week my little white lie brightened your sad, noise-blighted life.

Kind Regards,

TW

DX Wombat
18th Jun 2001, 00:33
There appears to be only ONE selfish person around here - YOU. You want people to riske their lives and those of others just so that YOU can do what YOU want NOT what is best for the safety of everyone. I don't know the current population of Stockport but I would bet that the vast majority don't want another aircraft to crash onto the city just because the pilot was trying to keep the noise down for selfish people who can't be bothered to move and feel that everyone else owes them a living. (I know the crash wasn't noise related but at this rate another one could be) Would you REALLY want to run the risk of killing hundreds of people just because you are too idle to get up, get organised and move? You may not have been able to move whilst your parents were alive but there is nothing to stop you now. May I suggest a remote, currently uninhabited island say, somewhere in the Outer Hebrides?

Shh... Noise Abatement
18th Jun 2001, 12:36
WOMBAT IS CALLING ME SELFISH. MAYBE I AM. WHICH AIRPORT DO YOU LIVE NEXT TO WOMBAT. I AM BACK TO UPERCASE BECAUSE A PLANE JUST FLEW OVER. I BET YOU SELFISH BASTARDS ALL LIVE AWAY FROM AIRPORTS. SOME TRAINEE PILOTS DO LVE NEXT TO AIRPORTS. TRIANEE PILOTS DONT COUNT AS THEYRE NOT PROPER PILOTS YET. MAYBE PILOTS ONLY GET SELFISH WHEN THEY ARE PROPER PILOTS AND RICH.

I'd rather
18th Jun 2001, 12:56
MR. SHH - CAN YOU HEAR ME ABOVE THE NOISE OLD CHAP??? JUST WANTED TO SAY PLEASE CARRY ON - JUST WHEN I THOUGHT JB WAS GETTING A BIT DULL, YOU'VE COME IN AND SAVED US

...revealing, in the process, that some people have absolutely no sense of humour and wouldn't recognise a wind-up if it bit them on the bum! Send Clowns - what on EARTH are you thinking of?? Though I have to give you credit for prolonging this hilarious thread. I suspect Mr. Shh is one of our resident wits (it wouldn't be you, would it, Tricky??) - when is s/he going to come clean?

DX Wombat
18th Jun 2001, 13:29
A large noisy one but I like it. Why don't you learn a little more about the aircraft? It need not cost anything you can get the info from the library and I'm sure the spotters at Manchester would be only too glad to help you. If you know more you may learn to like the aircraft more and maybe even understand better. :) ;)

RW-1
18th Jun 2001, 18:14
&gt;&gt;TRIANEE PILOTS DONT COUNT AS THEYRE NOT PROPER PILOTS YET. &lt;&lt;

Perhaps, but they sit 7 rungs higher up on the evolutionary ladder than thou. They show more hard work, dedication, and occasionally intelligence, of which you are really lacking.

Free house, and everyone should conform to your desires?

Hey mon, up your dosage. Try Opium, I hear it's just like prozac, only slower ....

Sounds to me there is a hint of jealousy there, you must have been one of the "airport kids" that was run off. gee, well IF there are rich pilots, they got that way through hard work and stuck thru some really lean times. The one thing they didn't do was inherit it. Get a life boy, go out and make something other than an ass of yourself.



------------------
Marc

Southern Cross
19th Jun 2001, 19:17
I just read this thread all the way through for the first time. Laughing out loud along the way.

Wind up!

And it's a doozie!

Slasher
19th Jun 2001, 19:39
Well looks like weve been shoveled back into the S..NA "selfish bastards" bin again!

--------------------------------------------
Slasher. Proper pilot and rich.

Shh... Noise Abatement
19th Jun 2001, 19:41
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYONE IS SO ANGRY AT ME. IM THE ONE WHO IS ANGRY. IM THE ONE WITH PLANES GOING OVER MY HOUSE. I DIDNT ASK FOR MY PARENTS TO DIE EITHER. I WAS TALKING LAST NIGHT TO A FREIND IN THE PUB. HE SAYS TRAINEE PILOTS LEARN HERE IN ENGLAND. IS THAT SAFE? TRAINEE PILOTS ARE NOT AS SAFE AS PROPER PILOTS SO WHY DONT THEY LEARN IN A DESSERT SOMEWHERE SO THAT THERE PLANES CANT HURT PEOPLE LIKE ME WHEN THEY CRASH. HE SAYS THAT PROPER PILOTS ARE NOT WORTH HALF THERE WAGES SO NO WONDER TRAINEE PILOTS ARE SKINT AS THEYRE NOT EVEN WORTH THAT.

RW-1
19th Jun 2001, 22:41
Your whole last post indicates to me your parents died on purpose, to get away from your 9 year old whining.

You don't like noise, move your sorry butt.

A 9 year old can figure that out.

You're not a pilot at all, so I doubt highly that you are qualified to say what level trainees or regular line pilots are at.

When you get "all growd up" (to say it in 9 year old terms) you'll realize what an ass you are.

------------------
Marc

Slasher
20th Jun 2001, 07:59
Ssh..NA youd be the type whod move right in next to a sewerage farm because the housings cheap, then complain about the constant smell of sh!t. Then youd bitch to all sh!tters that they should change their diets so the sh!t next door doesnt stink as much.

no name
20th Jun 2001, 09:17
You can't beat the sound of a 747 and its 4 engines spool up, rumbling down the runway for take-off and lift off into the sunset or the sound of reverse thrusters as their engaged, slowing this huge flying machine down after a smooth landing...

you should be greatful you get to hear these sounds everyday.

flyboy_33
20th Jun 2001, 10:28
Your A F**king Son of a very ugly B*tch. I am firstly Australian, Secondly a "TRAINEE PILOT" and thirdly an honest citizen that lives near an airport because that is also where my parents decided to build their house just over five years ago. I completely take offense to firstly abusing pilots no matter what their level is. and secondly your assumption that all aussies are arrogant [email protected] wake the F**k up and smell the roses! I had a friend that lost both her parents in a car accident. What she doesn't realise is that the Fire fighters (God Bless and Heal them) had to stand there and watch and Hear their screams of agony. All because they couldn't put the flames out. She has no house left for her, she is only 18 yrs old and still hasn't finished uni yet and you complain that your parents died and left you a house. So what if it is located next to an airport. I went to Sydney Int two day's ago and saw documentation that a person rang 101 times in the one day complaining that aircraft where to loud. They were not even using that particular area of the city as they where using the opposite runway's. I think that you don't have a clue as to the dangers associated with not landing an aircraft the size of a Boeing or even smaller size jets into anything but facing the direction of the winds. If they don't try doing a simple mathmatical equation to work out how long a couple hundred odd ton of metal doing it's slowest landing speed of aprox 200 kts. Do the equation and see how long the bloody runway has to bee then realise that if they didn't use your part of the city with some engine noise that your house would not be located there it would more likely be a further 3-4 miles away. Your bullsh!t about trainee pilots going off to train in the desert! how about we send all students from the moment they start attending school to the time they finish attending uni of whatever further training they do for their individual jobs of into the desert. Take nurses for instance. How many nurses do you have in your local hospital that are under training?? How many doctor's (who make a hell of a lot more than your average pilot) are training?? Have you consider these things when you attend the hospital? I think not. You are full of sh!t and I think that you had better not come to Australia or we will certainly become the arrogant [email protected] that you think we are. F**k Off you Pommie prick I know that there are nice Pommies out there But you obviously are not one of them

Flyboy_33

Thank God I am a young Aviator able to see the greatness of our world and share it with so many friends that also love flying!!

To all those serious pilot's (trainees included) enjoy the sky

DX Wombat
20th Jun 2001, 12:26
No Name, I beg to differ, Concorde wins hands down any day! Looks good too. SNA- the time seems to have come to pull the plug on this excellent wind-up and reveal who you really are before somebody gets seriously upset. If I were you I think I would avoid Oz for a while they don't seem too chuffed with you out there.

Southern Cross
20th Jun 2001, 13:44
Hey flyboy_33

Why don't you tell SHH what you REALLY think mate?!!

I'm not sure whether he is going to understand what you mean - you are beating about the bush quite a lot!!

One of the best rants (I mean, "reasoned discourses")I have read in quite a while - good luck with your training!

Cheers

under_exposed
20th Jun 2001, 13:56
SNA,

Is it not Heald Green that is going to have the new Royal Mail road/rail/air interchange nearby? Surely this will be more of a problem than the airport as most of the trucks will be operating at night. Have the plans been formally anounced yet ?

I'd rather
20th Jun 2001, 13:58
Southern Cross - I think the term you're looking for is called (in literary terms at least) "stream of consciousness" - or in this case, should it be "stream of (almost) unconsciousness cos I've just got back from the pub and am too p!ssed to notice this thread is a wind-up"???

Flyboy - calm down, Mr. Shh is having a laugh.

tunneler
20th Jun 2001, 14:18
Just had a mancunian taxi firm on the phone - summat about a taxi fur a fanny who dont like noise? :)

ickle black box
20th Jun 2001, 15:33
I think we should try to build a characture picture of Shh..NA.

Evidence so far:

He's northern.
He can't spell, and is obviously uneducated.
He dosses infront of his tv all day.
He owns a computer.
He's also a selfish ****.
Did I mention he's northern?

OK.... My trusty computer program, specially developed to build a characture fit of crooks from the crime, is working away.

Ah ha. It's given us an answer, let me copy it in below.

CrookFIT SW Version 8.0.4
Date of entry - 20/06/01
Northerner assess mode - Enabled.
Characture fit answer success:
'We have a characture fit for a perfect scouser. He lives in a downmarket estate by the airport, scrounges off the country claiming benifit in at least 4 names, sleeps during the day and burgles houses by night. His stolen 28" tv is the centre of his life, in a room containing old McDonalds bags, other rubbish and a pile of nicked video players and tv's, ready to knock out at the local 'Scousers Head' to the few people there who choose to buy not steal. He has not only managed to steal a computer, but also got all the cables with it too. He then had his cousin or nephew set it up for him. He is able to stay online all day wanking over porn sites, because he's got no intention of ever paying the phone or elec bill. He discovered pprune.org by searching for 'Pornstar Peter Rams it Up Naomi's Arse' and yahoo's search engine returned a similar abbreviation. Of course when he discovered a new page, he instantly aimed for the lowest depths of it, and discovered JetBlast. He decided to moan about aircraft noise, as he sleeps during the day, when there is most aircraft traffic at the airport, to that he can use the cover of darkness for his normal low life role in society. At night he steals, burgles, and dosses round brothels. Probably lives in the Outwood Road area'
End of CrookFIT SW characture evaluation.

Mariner9
20th Jun 2001, 16:15
A Scouser in Stockport?

Nah, you've got more chance of finding a Man U fan in Manchester.

If he wants to get away from CC, he could always move to Coronation St, perhaps Roy & Hayley could adopt him?

Tricky Woo
20th Jun 2001, 21:54
Ladies and Gentlemen,

Can we all be upstanding to toast the spectacular rant by Flyboy_33. Absolutely priceless.

TW

Shh... Noise Abatement
20th Jun 2001, 22:21
I REALLY DONTUNDERSTAND WHY FLYBOY AND SLASHER ARE SO RUDE. MAYBE ITS BECUASE THERE AUSTRALIANS? I ALWAYS NEW THEY WERE RUDE AND STUPID. MAYBE BECAUSE THERE STILL A BUNCH OF CRIMINALS. I THINK THAT FLYBOY AND SLASHER ARE THE KIND OF TRAINEE PILOTS THAT SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED NEAR A PLANE. PEOPLE LIKE THEM JUST WANT TO BE NASTY. PEOPLE LIKE THEM ARE HAPPY TO MAKE A LOT OF NOISE AND LAUGH AT PEOPLE LIKE ME. NOW I NOW WHY AUSTRALIANS HAVE SUCH A BAD NAME. I DONT THINK THERE RANTS ARE FUNNY EITHER. I THINK THERE RUDE. STUPID. IM NOT A SCOUSER EITHER. SCOUSERS ARE PEOPLE FROM LIVERPOOL NOT MANCHESTER. SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT SCOUSERS. AT LEAST THEYRE NOT AS RUDE AND STUPID AS AUSTRALIAN TRAINEE PILOTS LIKE SLASHE AND FLYBOY. IM ANGRY.

Velvet
20th Jun 2001, 22:40
Hullo Mr Angry, would you like to come and meet Tony Draper - he can solve your noise problems. He has this unique way of dealing with people, you won't worry about noise, or planes or pilots, in fact you won't worry about anything.

Actually, it's a good job you don't want to go anywhere because I think your options are being severely limited. :)


Tony, do you need some ears my little goblin' because I think I've found a suitable pair. xx

cudgy_funt
20th Jun 2001, 23:17
Shh NA, you sound a lot like the alien of "Sphere". How long ya been stuck underwater for?

RW-1
20th Jun 2001, 23:45
Naww, let's call him Mr. CAPS-LOCK.

I could care less that you are angry, you come here blasting pilots that are no where near your location, generally telling the ones nearby that they suck, then you want everybody to feel the love for you .... Not!

Yes Velvet, lets make him Tony's newest pal!

Let's sum up your whole life Shh, in fact you did it for me:

&gt;&gt;I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND (I added the space, for the literate)&lt;&lt;

I know you are better off just remaining in the dark, where we can only guess, rather than coming out into the light, and removing all doubt. :)

------------------
Marc

Flypro
21st Jun 2001, 00:01
Eight pages (so far) on a wind-up. Priceless. Keep it up SNA

P.S. Love the juvenile spelling, it adds an authentic touch.

trolleydollylover
21st Jun 2001, 00:08
Hold on...Hold On
since when did scousers come into the equation.

Please never EVER include us with those [email protected]~kers from Manc Land. You certainly know how to upset a whole city of decent living open minded thieves. So if you are not careful you may find yourself on bricks next time that you visit the pool.

Keep going SHH ithead I think that you have created a loverly thread, you may even get more hits than the DIY limeric.

I have tried to help matters by landing upside down. However the tail gets in the way. Does anybody have an idea how I can get over this problem. Possibly roof wheels or a chainsaw.

Slasher
21st Jun 2001, 05:57
Thanks again Shh..NA for your last post that serves to maintain everyones belief your a total bloodey moron and uneducated f*cking idiot. How your parents must be so disapointed the way you turned out. Your father Mr NA probabley instilled in you a sense of worth ethic and worked his hands to the bone doing exhaustive overtime at the factory so that his little son Shhh would get a good education and have a decent chance to make it in life. And your mum may have had high hopes that her little boy would grow up to be a useful member of society and perhaps make a positive contribution to the betterment of English life.

What a shame you turned out to be a total blithering f*ckwit instead, scorned by millions.

PS BTW youve just swapped places on my Idiot List with OCB. OCBs now been relagated to #2 slot!

Bleater
21st Jun 2001, 15:28
Where exactly does SNA live re 24 at Manchester??, Am sure we could up the noise levels for him :) :)

Eric
21st Jun 2001, 15:40
Velvet, I think you're right, Tony would love to have SHH as a VERY special friend. Tony might even put up another hook especially for him. Then again, they probably wouldn't get on because they're so alike :)

tony draper
21st Jun 2001, 15:45
Hello Eric,thats a naughty thing to say about tony,

Velvet
21st Jun 2001, 15:51
Oh no Eric, Sssshhh just shouts a lot, very loudly. He is amusing, but not nearly as adorable as Tony. Now Tony Draper, as Gerund would testify if only he was here and not on the lam, is a truly deliciously scary man. ;)



[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 21 June 2001).]

flyboy_33
21st Jun 2001, 15:52
Thank you all very much, I just don't appreciate the fact that some people get given so much head start in life and they have the hide to winge and complain. I would like to thank and support my fellow trainees and pilots senior to me in thei exhausting efforts to scratch a living in the lower scale of aviation. I applaud those that have made it into the airlines for the better pay. And I applaud those that help trainee pilots with both loans and intuition. I abuse f**kwits like SHH..(ithead)Noise Abatement who was very earlier given some very useful advise on why there is loud noise at airports. My little nephew kindly told me yesterday that I didn't know what noise planes make cause I don't own one. And he said that cause he lives underneath a flight path into Adelaide aerodrome that they only go broom. He is five years old and loves the noise of airplanes already (great kid) pity about a supoosedly mature person your age Shh. You own a bloody house and you can't enjoy life without complaining about something. Get the F**K OUT of PROFESSIONAL PILOTS RUMOR NETWORK. We are here to relax exchange jokes take the mickey out of each other in a jovial way and basicly give advise to trainees like myself who struggle with the daily rising cost to learn our chosen profession. How about you be the one to shift to the desert and live like a hermit. I hear that a lot of you poor pommies that won't get of their lazy @rse become one. Cheers to my pommie mates that enjoy life and work hard to build the name of pommieland into something worth while. You guy's/girls can come over here any time and we'll have an ale at the pub and talk like adults.

Cheers mates

(Bigglesworth rock hard)

I'd rather
21st Jun 2001, 16:33
...am now laughing so hard I am having trouble staying in my chair...

who IS this guy??

Vortex what...ouch!
21st Jun 2001, 18:37
Tis rather funny...

Iceolareanic
21st Jun 2001, 19:43
I think you've all wound up Shh..NA too much now. If you'd all been sympathetic to him, he would have left here happy, knowing that aircraft make noise, and the pilots can't help it. Now you've all got him really wound up, instead of him leaving this issue, he'll not forget it. Every time he hears aircraft noise, the stress will return, and so will his frustration that no-one seems to care.

Mr Shh..NA, unfortunatly airliners make noise. We as pilots can't help it, but we do try to minimise the effect it has on local residents. Modern engine and intake design help to further reduce the noise. Airports also try to opperate in a manner which will cause as little disruption to local residents as possible. Older aircraft that do not meet new noise regulations are banned from a lot of airports. Airliners in future will be quieter than the present ones, but you will unfortunatly still hear them (especially if you live close to an airport)

Tricky Woo
21st Jun 2001, 21:05
This thread simply couldn't get any better. First flyboy_33 lets loose, and now Slasher has gone for the jugular! Truly excellent stuff.

Tricky Woo
21st Jun 2001, 21:23
Mr Shh,

I've just had a thought. Where do all your anti-Aussie sentiments come from? I'd have thought if you bung (trans. 'Throw') a brick in Heald Green, Stockport, the likelihood of it hitting an Antipodean is rather remote. Come on, out with it. Failed love affair? Wounded pride? Diamond robbery? What?

TW

p.s. I've a feeling that Slasher & Co is going to kick your f**king head in. Just a feeling, mind.

Shh... Noise Abatement
21st Jun 2001, 23:42
HELLO TRICKY. IM NOT AGAINST AUSTRALIANS. ITS JUST THAT THEYRE ALWAYS SO RUDE. I USED TO LIVE IN LONDON. EVERY PUB HAD AN AUSTRALIAN WORKIN THEIR. ALWAYS RUDE. ALWAYS ANGRY. ALWAYS MOANING ABOUT THE RAIN. STUPID. WHY DONT THEY STAY IN THERE OWN COUNTRY. IT ISNT SO GREAT TO LIVE OUT OF A HAVERSACK. IT ISNT SO GREAT TO DRINK RUBBISH LAGER. IT ISNT SO GREAT TO HAVE A BAD COPY OF RUNCORN BRIDGE ACROSS THERE HARBOUR. IT ISNT SO GREAT TO COME FROM THE SAME PLACE AS CLIVE JAMES AND ROLF HARISS. IT ISNT SO GREAT TO HAVE BAD HAIRCUTS AND RED FACES. THERE COUNTRY AND THERE CULTURE IS RUBBISH. RUBBISH. ALL THERE THREATS ARE BORING. WHY DONT THEY GO BACK TO THERE DESSERT AND EAT KOALA BEARS. BLOODY CRIMINALS.

Velvet
21st Jun 2001, 23:46
Tricky Woo, aint it just grand. A month or so ago there we were suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune aka ocb, swamprat and taxidriver - not an original thought or wit amongst them.

What a pity that Tony Draper has done for Gerund - still, we can look forward to a new and improved version when we've just worked out how to get this bit kickstarted. Pity, I think he's going to have difficulty typing. Last time, it crackled a bit and then there was this awful smell........... anyone out there know how to wire up a Victorian generator - it's got two bloody great coils and a really large lever sticking out of a weird box. ;)


Sssshhhh, do I get the impression you don't like Australians.

Flyboy, would you like to join us for the bash in Oz next year :)

[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 21 June 2001).]

Mattvitale
22nd Jun 2001, 07:54
Being a former Lear 24/ Sabre 60 (straight pipe turbojet!!!) driver, I have always believed in the following:

A jet engine is a device that should be extremely efficient at one thing - converting Jet A into lots of black smoke and an obscene amount of crackling, roaring, feel-it-through-you noise!!

In otherwords - the house near the aerodrome is cheap for a reason!!

Long live the JT8D!!

[This message has been edited by Mattvitale (edited 22 June 2001).]

flyboy_33
22nd Jun 2001, 08:13
Your F**king Angry, Well who gives a flying rats @rse. First you abuse the F**k out of trainee pilots say they need to shift to the desert. Then you abuse Australians cause they come to england where it rains a large percentage of the time. I bet you have never even been to australia to realise why we have "red" faces. That is from the sun. Do you even know what that looks like?? It is a bright orangy red circle high in the sky that provides both light and heat during the day!! If you step outside I am sure even England has sunshine sometimes. You want to abuse pilots and australians and you can't even spell correctly. I am beyond caring wether this is a wind-up or not. You have abuse one of my homelands and also the profession I am training in. As I have said in my last post Either wake the F**K UP and SMELL the ROSES (you need sun to grow them so you personally won't ever have any) or get the F**K OUT. I ever happen upon you in real life forget Tony Draper and Ne other serial killer. I will personally take it upon myself to open the bigest can of [email protected] you will ever experience and then I will gladly hand you to slasher.

Velvet, I would love to join you guy's on an OZ bash. I don't have my own plane and possibly no funding but with enough time I am sure I could arrange something with my flying school or even the blokes I will hopefully be working for. Cheers mate and come on home to Aussie land netime (if your not Aussie that is)

Cheers again everyone.
FB

remember according to my nephew planes only go broom!!

Capt Vegemite
22nd Jun 2001, 08:32
Strewth!..I better have a cuppa and a Bex and a good lie down before I launches into this Sh**fight!

------------------

... Luposlipaphobia: The fear of being chased by timber wolves around a kitchen
table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor."

separator
22nd Jun 2001, 08:55
I am still trying to grasp SNA's concept of training pilots in the "dessert" (sic).

Does this mean including Pastry 101 as part of the Curriculum, or "Well Bloggs, this morning we'll do two EFATOs, three power-off stalls and some cake icing".

Or am I being a "trifle" supercilious?

Sep

con-pilot
22nd Jun 2001, 09:09
OK! Guys and girls I have figured this out.

SNA is Slasher, only someone with his intelligence and great wit could come up with this windup. Think about it, Slasher has replied to this thread more than any other thread I have read in nearly two years.

Slasher, some day I would really love to have a lot of beers with you when you escape from commie-land.

Great job!

I'd rather
22nd Jun 2001, 13:15
Yes, but who's Flyboy?? Surely he's a wind-up as well?

DX Wombat
22nd Jun 2001, 17:09
SNA, I think the time has come to offer you some help with your aircraft noise phobia. I have spoken to a psychologist friend of mine and he recommends a free course of therapy available at a centre near Hatton Cross. Unfortunately I can't afford to pay your fare or accommodation fees, but am very willing to lend you my camping gear. I'm sure there are other, fellow PPRuNers who will be willing to help with transport. I have managed to negotiate free camping for you for a stay of up to two weeks at the therapy centre which is located at Lat. N51.28 Long W0.27. Do let us all know how you get on. Regards, Wombat

Shh... Noise Abatement
22nd Jun 2001, 21:57
I HAVE BEEN TO AUSTRALIA. I WISH I HADNT. HORRIBLE PLACE WITH HORRIBLE PALE BEER AND LOTS OF FLIES. A REAL DUMP. THE ONLY THING WORSEWERE THE RUDE AUSTRALIANS CALLING ME A POMMIE AND CALLING THERE DUMP THE LCKY COUNTRY. LUCKY COUNTRY FOR PEOPLEWHO LOVE DUMPS. I HAD NO IDEA HEN I POSTED THIS SERIUS THREAD THAT THE AUSTRALIANS WOULD TAKE ITOVER WTH THERE STUPID COMMENTS. ILL NEVER GOTHERE AGAIN. IF ONLY THEY WOULD STOP COMING OVER HERE. ALL THEY EVER WANT TODO IS TO FIGHT AND SWEAR. SIDNEY HARBOUR LOOKED LIKE RUNCORN WITH TOO MUCH SUN. SAME BRIDGE AND SAME BUILDINGS. A DUMP.

IVE NOTHING AGAINST KIWIS. THEIR NICE. WELL EDUCATED AND WELL MANNERED. MY WIFE IS A KIWI. GOING TO NEW ZEALAND WASA PLEASURE. NO FLIES AND GREEN LAND. BEAUTIFUL. POLITE PEOPLE WHO DONT SWEAR AND FIGHT LIKE AUSTRALIANS.

tony draper
22nd Jun 2001, 23:02
Hope you had a nice sea voyage Mr SH, because surely you wouldn't have used one of those noise machines,with a pilot at the pointy end? , would you.
Son you done shot your bolt. ;)

[This message has been edited by tony draper (edited 22 June 2001).]

Velvet
22nd Jun 2001, 23:14
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">. I ONCE WENT TO ITALY BY PLANE AND IT MADE ME SICK. IF I EVER GO TO FRANMCE THEN I TAKE THE EUROTUNNEL.</font>

guess you went by boat to Australia and back then Sssshhhhh.

snap Tony

tony draper
23rd Jun 2001, 00:26
Hmmm , I find the futile attempt to stir up hatred betwixt Kiwi's and Aussies to be suspect also, he must not be aware the great bond of neighbourly affection and love between these peoples. :)

PS, Draper begins to suspect someone is pulling ones plonker here.

[This message has been edited by tony draper (edited 22 June 2001).]

Nil nos tremefacit
23rd Jun 2001, 00:31
Velvet,

Good spot! I've just read this thread from end to end and, therefore, that point was fresh in my memory.

Obviously this thread is a sophisticated (?) wind up. The appalling spelling, poor grammar and lack of punctuation is contrived to portray a character who is completely the reverse of the real poster. The problem is that Shhhh has cooked his goose by losing the thread of his own story. Shhh, you are clearly a Luton based co-pilot!

The fact that Shhhhh identified Slasher as an Aussie suggests that he had been fishing for Slash and has got him hook, line and sinker. It was very clever to play on the Australian stereotypes to wind up the Aussies. Everyone knows that nearly 20% of them aren't rude or arrogant. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

Tricky Woo wasn't winding anyone up (even if he thought he was). Peel Holdings, who own the Trafford Centre, Manchester Airport, Finningley and Bournemouth Hurn (I think) are of course working on a rotating runway platform. It just happens to be a secret that I am privy to.

The idea of a runway 1000' in the sky is brilliant. To avoid blocking out the sun might I suggest a transparent runway. It would be great to look up and see the underside of aircraft as they landed. FOD would also be easier to identify as it would stand out more clearly. Approach lights could be created by a clever use of lasers and holograms.

Heald Green is near Manchester and is, therefore, by anybody's definition a dump - along with Bolton, Bury, Oldham, Newton-le-Willows, Warrington etc etc

Velvet, is spanking really the way to your heart? ;)

Shh...Noise Abatement
23rd Jun 2001, 02:28
YES, I'VE HAD YOU!

In the name of GOD I finally punished you all by spreading confusion amongst you as HE did with the sinners who built the Tower of Babel.

Now you will know who I am.

May you repent lest you burn in hell!

DX Wombat
23rd Jun 2001, 02:30
SNA I'm not sure why you are talkig about going to Oz, the therapy centre is in the countryside about 200 miles away from you - check the reference. The campsite is a level field with plenty of grass, bunny rabbits and other wildlife. There are nearby catering facilities in case you do not wish to do your own catering, well defined paths neatly edged with pretty fairy lights so you can't accidentally stray into the path of any traffic. It is quite exclusive, very few people are given permission to camp here so you are very lucky. Hope the weather remains good for your stay. :) :) :)

Velvet
23rd Jun 2001, 03:02
Sorry Sssshhh, spaceless, you haven't had anyone.

Shhhh - space Always remember when making up tales to keep copious research notes, otherwise you tend to forget the plot.

Still good game, good game -


Nil nos, ;)



[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 22 June 2001).]

Eric
23rd Jun 2001, 03:10
(Edited for the hell of it!)

[This message has been edited by Eric (edited 22 June 2001).]

tony draper
23rd Jun 2001, 04:01
Oh yes,clever lady miss Velvet, hmmm yesssss clever lady ,you bet.

This world much more interesting place with you in it Velvet, hmmm yesss. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Eric
23rd Jun 2001, 04:12
That's you saved Velvet, but what about the rest of us.
What's happened to Gerund?
When did you last see Danny?
And why do you never see Shh(space) in the same forum as WWW?

Celtic Emerald
23rd Jun 2001, 14:58
Gawd

I don't think I've ever laughed so much in ages. Me thinks someone has been taking the lot of you for a right ride :)

My advice: Just sell the bleedin hypothetical house or even better we could bring back airships. There well airbourne before they start the engines, wasn't alive in that era though to know how loud they were :rolleyes:

Flyboy: You're priceless but you shouldn't be letting a wind up merchant upset you, you're playing right into his hands mate. Good luck with your training & you've a great way with words :)

Ice: Get a sense of humour before you bore us all to tears.

Emerald

Nil nos tremefacit
23rd Jun 2001, 15:16
Shh...Noise Abatement, you haven't had anyone or anything other than your right hand! Your profile dates you as having registered on 22nd June 2001, you have given no e-mail address and no location and give your interests as 'Spreading GOD's word' (hi again, OCB). To date you have posted twice!

Shh... Noise Abatement (19 posts to date) no interests, but located 'near an airfield' and with a PPrune e-mail 'joined' on 5th June 2001 - the date the wind up started. It is he/she that has the confused life history.

Everyone note the space, or lack of, between Shh... and Noise.

I now abase myself and ask forgiveness for becoming the ultimate PPrune bore - the one who checks out how many posts people have made, spots the minute differences and checks out profiles. Triste, moi.. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

Winston Smith
23rd Jun 2001, 20:22
Here in Germany these losers, when calling the authorities to report "acoustic pollution" and being asked in return for the registration of the offending aircraft, they sometimes even come up with something like D-1234. One must bear in mind that delta-registered aircraft with numbers are always gliders... ;)

Eric
24th Jun 2001, 03:56
Nil Nos, Velvet was there a few hours ahead of you, but you're right, a space makes a big difference :)

Winston Smith
24th Jun 2001, 04:01
http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

Why, Eric, it was YOU who first noticed (and spoiled) it! Velvet didn't at first, then she edited her post after you pointed it out!

Eric
24th Jun 2001, 04:15
Winston...just keeping the fun alive ;)

Winston Smith
24th Jun 2001, 04:22
That's what I'm there for... http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/cool.gif

Eric
24th Jun 2001, 04:45
Ta

flyboy_33
24th Jun 2001, 08:04
So where the has this arrogant bastard calling himself SHH... NOISE ABATEMENT gone to? I know you are out there somewhere you little snotty nose pommie bastard. You want to try and create some sort of abusive stream between me and my Kiwi counterparts!! You just got one probem mate. I am half Kiwi so if all Kiwi's are nice polite don't swear and are not rude then I guess my "Aussie" side over rules my Kiwi side too often when it comes to conversing with snotty little bastards like you. If all Australian are rude and arrogant then God help the English cause at least the Aussie can play cricket and Rugby (both codes) unlike the poor pommies that you disgrace. I feel sorry for those poor Ship captains that get you stuck with. They have to suffer with your constant moaning and wingeing they probably hide in the corner of their Bridge just to get away from you. I am suprised though that you do actually travel by sea because I have the feeling that Ships of the Sea can be quite loud at the same time as Ships of the Air can be noisy when they land or take-off. My suggestion still stands that you be the one that F**KS off and lives in the "dessert" as was so kindly pointed out in an earlier post. I also agree that you have currently lost your thread or cannot remember with your impetuant mind that obviously cannot comprehend what an adult discusses with their fellow peers in a rational and meaningful way. If you can follow even a tiny bit as to what I am saying then You will realise that the entire time you have been Abusing Slasher and myself the CIA have been watching you. They know exactly where you are and they know what you say and do. Be careful. They take precautionary measures to kill those that know to much. I am expecting them soon. They are NOISELESS in their aircraft. They come in the night and they leave no evdience. You poor pitiful little man. You abuse Pilots and students and Australians and uplift the beloved Kiwi's (i pity your poor wife) to try and attempt to get Slasher and myself riled at you again but I think you have a better chance of actually attacking my personal nature or Australians for that matter as I enjoy the native Kiwi people. You are at a sad end to your PPRUNE life

As they say

"You are the weakest link. GOODBYE)

FB

[This message has been edited by flyboy_33 (edited 24 June 2001).]

Nil nos tremefacit
24th Jun 2001, 12:12
Eric, Velvet - sorry, I was being a bit slow!

f33 - chill out, don't let Shhhhhhhhh get to you. He's probably a soccer man anyway, but could be 13-a-side Rugby where he lives. Actually, as he spends all night in doing nothing he's more likely to be a tiddleywinks man! ;)

I can't think what his problem is - I used to live on a base with 22 Victor K2s (Conways - the same noisy engines that power the mighty VC10s) and 2 Sqns of Tornados. If he's ever had a pair on the break to land over his house he'll know all about rattling windows and ornaments falling over! Add to that the guard dogs barking at shift changeover, the HAS doors beeping all through the night, the SSA searchlight shining into bedrooms, practice fires and the perpetual TACEVAL/MINIVAL sirens and tannoy broadcasts during exercises and the tanker alert states and scramble calls as Q got airborne at 3.00am on a Sunday morning. I miss it all.... :)

Shh, you haven't lived.

DX Wombat
24th Jun 2001, 14:56
F33 - with any luck he's at the "Therapy Centre" If you haven't worked out where that is yet just ask a long-haul pilot where Lat N51.28 Long W 0.27 is located. If he/she is flying into the UK they will know. It will kill or cure our friend. I'm going to be even less popular when he realises the exact location. ;) ;)

Slasher
24th Jun 2001, 22:52
Well I suppose I should give poor old Ssh..NA a bit of a break shouldnt I. I mean Ive really been kickin the livin sh!t out of poor moronic bastard recentley. Realy guys, after all its said and done hes just a harmless dumb idiotic [email protected] with his brain stuck halfway up his @rse. So Ill leave him alone for a while, the poor c*nt. He might be all quiet because I probabley hit a raw nerve with my crack about his parents.

Velvet
25th Jun 2001, 03:16
Ohhh for goodness sake - Eric didn't spoil anything - poor sssshhhh was going to have a bad press, all for the sake of one little space.

Slasher honey you're such a forgiving soul, however, I think we can leave flyboy to address the problem of noise abatement.

Now, as for Gerund - he's in a dark place far far away.................

TwinNDB
25th Jun 2001, 04:37
Ah - I've been away from JB for a few days and it was good to come back and see some good old wind upping going on. Read the post thu' to page 6 and then skipped to here. Same old same old all the way through but worth a hearty old laugh anyway.

The sad thing folks - people like SNA do actually exist. and fark the idea of living in a bloody desert, like this aviation gig isn't hard enough anyway - ungrateful farking pricks.

My two bobs worth

Hi to all the JB'ers again anyway

flyboy_33
25th Jun 2001, 05:10
Hey I just found out what those coordinates where and I laughed my poor @rse off. I think that is the perfect remedy for a "Therapy Center". Neway I better go and do some study. I got my CPL tomorrow and I am starting to get the nerves again. Cheerio everyone. And thanks for leaving SHH... to me. I can handle the poor little SOB. I may even start being nice to him if he show's his face in here again. Enjoy a good beer or two for us folks.
FB

(BROOM)

Shh... Noise Abatement
25th Jun 2001, 14:34
HOW DID SOMEONE POST USING MY NAME. I DONT UNDERSTAND. I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE ON THESE BOARDS. STRANGE. IM SORRY I LIED ABOUT ONLY EVER GOING ITALY ON A PLANE. I SUPPOSE I LIED TO MAKE A POINT. I HAD LOTS OF PEOPLE BEING RUDE TO ME SO I GOT ANGRY AND LIED. NOT LIKE ME AND MY WIFE LAUGHD AT ME ABOUT IT. I SEE THAT FLYBOY AND SLAHSER ARE SWEARING AT ME AGAIN. FLYBOY IS PROVING THAT HES HALF AUSTRALAIN!

Tricky Woo
25th Jun 2001, 19:30
Mr Shh,

Someone simply set up another username and omitted the space that you unwisely put between the '...' and the 'N'. Geddit? I had to admit that it fooled me until the sagacious (trans. Clever) Velvet spotted it.

TW

Velvet
25th Jun 2001, 20:05
Bows To Eric the Wise :)

flt_lt_w_mitty
25th Jun 2001, 20:57
Shh.... I've only just come across this sad story of yours and I'd like you to know that, although I am one of those rich pilots, I DO care about the terrible noise we inflict on you lesser mortals.

I have been one of the ‘strong and silent' supporters of noise reduction for years, and we are setting-up a web-site at www.hush.decibel.org (http://www.hush.decibel.org) which will soon be on-line and will give all of you poor folk details of our world-wide campaign - ‘loud and clear'.

In the mean-time, if you could tell me exactly which side of the fligh-path you live on at Manchester, I will do my darndest to shut down the engines on my very noisy aircraft on YOUR side of the track as I come in and out of Manchester - which I do several times a month. I'll talk to my airline Ops too and see if we cannot get all our pilots to do the same - I'd be very interested to hear back from you just how successful we've been too!

Yours, together in silence,

Walter

Eric
25th Jun 2001, 22:55
http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif :)

[This message has been edited by Eric (edited 25 June 2001).]

swashplate
26th Jun 2001, 12:04
IMHO this is a wind up. The guys post are written in an infantile style, but you always seem to get the message (as Inspector Morse god bless and keep 'im used to say).

Also he doesn't sound very intelligent but can use a long word like 'abatement'. Hmmmmm..........


WIND UP ALERT!!!! WIND UP ALERT!!!!


------------------
Live long and Prosper.....

Velvet
26th Jun 2001, 15:16
Flt Lt Mitty, what a super idea and how considerate. If we can just get the ATCOs to co-ordinate the engines on the relevant matching side of the aircraft to shut off in unison - a whole silent corridor will be activated over Shhhhh's house.

Additionally, if those with one engine could just glide in, well it would solve the problem. However, I'm still wondering what to do about helicopters, hmmmmmmmm - any ideas anyone.

Now what about the birds which must wake Sssshhh up early morning, or the inconsiderate milkman (do they still deliver in Manchester). Early and late road traffic could be stopped, however, that might affect Ssshh coming home from the pub on one of his rare forays to socialise with the 'friendly' pilots. However, I'm sure we could find some way of lending him a bike. Incidentally, Ssssh could you not sing on your way home from the pub, and don't fall over any dustbins, would hate for you to interfere with your neighbour's watching pleasure (or other more interesting activities).

Any other noises you'd like us to quiet for you Sssshhh, just so that you can ssshhhh or zzzzzzzz in peace and tranquility.

swashplate
26th Jun 2001, 16:02
Simple, Velv, helicopters can Autorotate

Just establish in the hover within gliding range of the field (doesn't even have to be over shhh's house - ATC considerations permitting). Then fully lower collective lever, flattening the blades pitch, and the helo will descend like a sycamore seed! Turboshafts can now be shut down - total silence....

....until the FLARE. At around 50ft, A/C is rotated to nose up and collective lever pulled. A/C now slows down and can be 'run on' to grass......but produces ROTOR NOISE!!!!!!

....still a wind up IMHO :) :)

------------------
Live long and Prosper.....

swashplate
26th Jun 2001, 16:15
Additional:

For those of you who don't already know, here are those co-ordinates,

http://www.streetmap.co.uk/streetmap.dll?G2M?X=507765&Y=175327&A=Y&Z=1

:) :) :) :)

......therapy centre indeed........

------------------
Live long and Prosper.....

Shh... Noise Abatement
26th Jun 2001, 17:53
THE MAP IS FOR LONDON NOT MANCHESTER SO THE JOKE IS ON YOU. HAH!

Velvet
26th Jun 2001, 17:58
Shhh we didn't expect you to have therapy in your locale - we thought you might like a holiday away from all the noise.

Goodness some people don't show any gratitude.........

[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 26 June 2001).]

flt_lt_w_mitty
26th Jun 2001, 18:43
Velvet - do they still deliver in Manchester? I'll say they do! Gold top and full... hell! I just cannot bring myself to say that to a lady!

[This message has been edited by flt_lt_w_mitty (edited 26 June 2001).]

flt_lt_w_mitty
26th Jun 2001, 18:50
Hey guys and girls - you've ALL missed the point here! The HELICOPLETER CAN fly different approach paths. How can you all be so stupid on such an important thread??


Please excuse the 'CAPS' - I think it must be catching. Aah! There's that nice nurse with another injection........

Walter

DX Wombat
26th Jun 2001, 21:27
Tut tut SNA, you didn't read my post of 22/06/01/properly did you? Hatton Cross is nowhere near Manchester so of course the coordinates were for London. As Velvet said, nobody expected you to stay at home, it is always better to go away for such a course of therapy. If I had meant Manchester Airport I would have given the coordinates as N53.65 W2.16.
Swashplate - of course it is a therapy centre. LHR has facilities for work therapy, recreational therapy, retail therapy, food therapy etc. The course of therapy recommended for SNA would certainly have cured him. Two weeks camping in that location would have made him realise how quiet MAN is, or deafened him, or even earned him a sojourn in one of HM QE2's personal hotels, possibly even all 3 ;)

Winston Smith
26th Jun 2001, 23:47
I presume no one is doubting anymore that Shh-space isn't actually the sucker he pretends to be. As others have already pointed out, a loser like Shh-space would never even have heard the term "noise abatement" and had probably come up with a much more boring moniker.

Thus I dare expose the culprit: Tricky Woo!

Evidence so far:
[list=a] He was conspicuously silent for the first two days. Quite probably he waited for a wide variety of reactions to come in before placing a post under his real name. While a lot of posters came up with some interesting ideas and secret developments, Shh-space only trusted Tricky Woo to be honest. Then, to keep his cover, Shh-space finally had to "find out" that Tricky Woo had been winding him up, too. "I'd rather" already voiced his suspicion about Tricky Woo. The mistake that gave him away was his last post: First he too kindly responded to Shh-space (i.e. himself) by explaining how Shh-no-space did his filthy deed, and then he made the fatal blunder to pretend he'd actually been fooled himself! If he weren't Shh-space and had really fallen for this impostor, which I doubt because of his shrewdness, he certainly wouldn't have exposed himself to ridicule by admitting it. The only possible motive for this "confession" is to convince us that he is as clueless as we are about the true identity of Shh-space, since he obviously would have noticed something wrong about a posting by his alter ego that he didn't write himself. He is tricky.
[/list=a]

Will the defendant please rise!

Nil nos tremefacit
27th Jun 2001, 02:08
Winston

Just cut this from another TW post in the archives:

Speaking as a 'Mancunian Neanderthal', I can say that your highly amusing missive against The People's Republic of Manchester applies to just about every city I've ever visited. You just have to choose the dodgy area in any city in the world, and Bob's your Uncle: a nasty experience. And I've been around, believe me.

Secondly, having spent a bit of time living abroad, I've developed the habit of not slagging other off peoples' countries (or cities in this case). It's rude. It's unnecessary.

Thirdly, it's a bad idea to get involved in ye olde 'Manc versus Scouse' war. Mancs are allowed to call Scousers 'scally thieves'. Scousers are allowed to call Mancs 'snobby thieves'. Neither generalisation is true, but, it keeps us happy during the cold, wet Northern winters. Stay out of it.

Lastly, you should hear what Lancastrians and Yorkshiremen have to say about each other...

Suspect that's how TW knows suburban names from Manchester. Good process of deduction. From my researches I think you're right. TW also gave Macclesfield as one of the worst places to live!! You'd have to be local to know that.

TW, confess and buy us all a beer! :)

flt_lt_w_mitty
27th Jun 2001, 02:08
Winston - can you run that by me just once more?

Hey! It couldn't be you, could it.........?

Winston Smith
27th Jun 2001, 02:37
flt_lt_w_mitty,

thanks for not putting it past me, and for considering me capable of pulling such a cool stunt, but as an innocent kraut, I'd never have been able to convincingly foster all that intra-British animosity - the things nil nos tremefacit just mentioned.

But stay tuned for further mischief :) - to quote Eric:
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">Winston...just keeping the fun alive</font>

Velvet
27th Jun 2001, 02:43
Well Tricky certainly has the subtlety and wit to manage it. And he would delight in winding everyone up. So could be. On the other hand Winston - this could be a double blind bluff just to throw us off the scent ;)

flyboy_33
27th Jun 2001, 10:44
Well obviously, Whoever SHH is he has started to run out of things to accuse pilots of. All he could say about me and slash is that we still swear. Man my little niece can think of more things than he can. If it is just Tricky on a wind up than congrats and thanks for the war. If this SHH is actually real then it is time that you left my poor friend and come back when you can either continue to make incompetent remarks or actually have something inteligent to say/ask. neway I gotta go study for irex. No resting for this little pilot.

Cheers everyone
FB

Tricky Woo
27th Jun 2001, 12:23
Hi All,

Quite clearly Mr Shh is an clever imposter. We're all now agreed on that one, I hope? Even the Aussies seem to have cottoned on, although I have to say that their refusal to acknowledge the wind up kept me (and many others, no doubt) rolling about in the aisles for ages. I priceless thread, and one of the best ever, IMHO.

Thanks for the 'accusation', but I have to say that it really isn't me. Ok, ok 'the Manc git doth protest too much', but, as many people have said, this sod is a bit of a genius and it would be a bit naughty for me to try to claim the glory for myself. Tempting, though it is. Very tempting.

How I laughed when the 'stupid idiot' fell for the rotating runway idea. Unfortunately, the laugh is now on me. Bugger. Hats off to this bloke, I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

I only wish that I'd thought of this myself.

So who is the artful Mr Shh? Slasher looks to be the best bet. In spite of the obviousness of the wind up, Slasher got all agitated which is not really like him. Slasher even mentioned Mr Shh in a different thread. Unusual behaviour for Slash, which is why I nominate him. Come on out, Slash, your time is up.

TW

DX Wombat
29th Jun 2001, 01:33
Well I for one have thoroughly enjoyed this bit of fun. So, whoever you are, please stand up and take a bow. :) :) :)

Shh... Noise Abatement
29th Jun 2001, 10:58
SO YOUVE REALIZED THAT IM A WINDUP AT LAST. WELL DONE. MANY THOUGHT THAT I MUST HAVE, MANY SAT ON THE FENCE JUST IN CASE. OTHERS FELL FOR IT. I HAVE ENJOYED WINDING YOU LOT UP. THE TURNTABLE RUNWY FROM TRICKY WOO WAS A HIGH SPOT AS WERE ALL THE OTHER THE HEATH ROBINSON IDEAS. I BET TRICKY FELT REAL SMUG THAT HED FOOLED ME. ALSO I COULDNT BELEIVE IT WHEN SLASHER AND FLYBOY KICKED OFF. FANTASTIC. BIT OF A DISASSTER THAT I DOBBED MYSELF IN BY INVENTNIG A FLIGHT TO AUSTRALIA. NICE ONE FOR JUMPING ON THAT SO QUIKLY.

IM SURE YOURE ALL WONDERING WHO I AM. I AM ONE OF THE REGULARS HERE AS YOU SUSPECT. WHICH ONE? WHO IS SNA? WELL IM HERE TO CONFESS TO YOU THAT MY REAL NAME IS... UGH... GASP... AHH... MY HEART MY HEART... A HEART ATTACK... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

RIP Shh... Noise Abatement
05th June 2001 - 29th June 2001

flt_lt_w_mitty
29th Jun 2001, 14:06
RIP
Rest in PEACE!

Walt

Slasher
29th Jun 2001, 14:18
Tricky nope. Sorry. Im flat out just being me! I wonder who he was though. Had me fooled a bit.

I'd rather
29th Jun 2001, 17:10
Now MUST be the time for flyboy to come forward and admit he's a wind-up too...mustn't it....?

If he isn't, how scary is that?? :)

Tricky Woo
29th Jun 2001, 17:37
Rest In Peace, Mr Shh,

I for one greatly enjoyed this thread.

TW

FlyingGiraffe
29th Jun 2001, 20:01
This thread's a classic! Congrats to whoever it is...

Of course, we could cheat and ask one of the mods to do some IP address matching to possibly uncover the culprit... or at least his rough proximity.

So come on Danny, Capt PPRuNe, CrashDive, PPRuNe Dispatcher... etc! We wanna know!!... maybe a hint? :)

--FG

P.S. So what's the big problem with rotating runways anyway?? :) :)

Velvet
29th Jun 2001, 20:26
It was indeed a classic, so Ssshhh we bow to your humour and wit ;)

SevenFiftySeven
29th Jun 2001, 21:14
I've just read this post all the way through and I am literally laughing out loud.
Well done Shh... I'm sat at home feeling miserable with jet lag and you've really cheered me up!

Come on..... who are you? Just whisper it and I promise not to tell anyone!

PPRuNe Dispatcher
29th Jun 2001, 21:38
Yes , we could with a little bit of work identify who Ssh... is, but our anonymity rules mean that we won't, even to statisfy our own curiosity... damn.

Winston Smith
29th Jun 2001, 21:57
C O M P L E T E _ C O N F E S S I O N

(only for the second "Shh...Noise Abatement", I'm afraid)

With the lamentable and totally unexpected demise of our beloved guest "Shh... Noise Abatement", I deem - being an astoundingly decent person - a complete confession of my part to be called for:

I, Winston Smith, impersonated the short-lived imposter "Shh...Noise Abatement" and disposed of him in an unbelievably obscene fashion after he had served his sinister purpose.

In the following lines I am going to give a detailed account of my actions which will explain the darker circumstances:
After having ignored this thread for quite an extended period of time due to my false believe that it was most probably deeply boring, I finally could no longer ignore the fact of its rapid growth, and curiosity got the upper hand of me. This accounts for my reading the bulk of this thread in one session. Out of sheer wantonness I devised the fiendish plan of creating a character with which to impersonate the hapless, much-derided "Shh... Noise Abatement". In this I had been partly driven by blasphemous motives which made me write the ostensible religious revelation of "Shh... Noise Abatement". In my baseness I had no regard for the question if said character was an impostor as well or a real idiot, which was still unresolved at that time. My original plan was to simply add a space character to his name, but I quickly stumbled upon the fact that the server would not allow trailing spaces. Thus I settled for the missing space character. To impart further credibility to the newly registered user, I schemed to raise his post count to that of my victim. I intended to do this by posting more than one and half a dozen entirely meaningless messages in a thread to be created for that purpose in the French forum, which did not seem to be very well frequented at the time. To my despair, I was instantly confronted with a ******* mechanism euphemistically named "flood control". Considering the delay of 270 seconds and the fact that I would probably not have managed to return immediately after these minimum intervals, I was facing a task I expected to take up more than two hours. As a consequence of this, I cancelled my plan to unlawfully gain forum seniority. My reasons for doing so are as follows: a) I might have died of a laughing fit in the above-mentioned period of time. b) Out of pure selfishness I couldn't be bothered to stay awake that long, either. c) It would have been disrespectful to the French. d) What little conscience I had left at that point considered it to be an abuse of PPRuNe. e) I did not want to provoke the wrath of the administrators, were my foul machinations to be discovered. After committing my filthy deed, cowardice made me fear banishment, and I undertook to cover my tracks by susbstituting the impostor's e-mail address by "[email protected]" so as to make it unmistakably clear to the administrators that I was not going to cause further mischief with that user. By changing the address, a new password was sent to this non-existent e-mail account. As a consequence, I was no longer in a position to post further messages assuming this identity. For this reason, I will probably not even be able to actually prove the veracity of this confession. But no one else, with the hypothetical exception of the administrators, will be able to claim responsibility for this imposture, either. As of now, the abandoned user has been officially unregistered anyway. I recognize my actions to be an extremely stupid blunder. I apologize for bungling a job which might have produced much more confusion. Since she is a very likable person and has been kind to me, I will under no circumstances disclose the fact that Velvet initially fell for it. To my well-deserved displeasure, this smart ass Eric discovered the low post count and the missing space character and drew public attention to it. He should be flogged, too! :)


I plead for clemency.


Winston Smith


[This message has been edited by Winston Smith (edited 29 June 2001).]

flt_lt_w_mitty
29th Jun 2001, 22:03
Hmm! WS - I got close, then!

Send Clowns
29th Jun 2001, 22:24
As I said early on, Noise Abatement is not a term in common use. Only someone in the business would know it, had to be a wind up. Didn't stop me arguing though, but as you lot have probably noticed I like a good argument.

------------------
'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

RW-1
29th Jun 2001, 23:16
Aww, it's over, sniff ....

------------------
Marc

Velvet
29th Jun 2001, 23:34
Winston, you're right I didn't pay attention to the number of posts until that very clever chap Eric pointed it out. I did, however, realise it wasn't in the style of the previous Sssshhhh..... with a space, and was aware that both were wind-ups. It was such a glorious one though, I like some of the others helped it along.

It's such a treat to see innovative posts and such joyous abandon to wacky notions.

Now, I just have to work out who flyboy 33 is hmmmmmmmm.


[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 29 June 2001).]

Nil nos tremefacit
30th Jun 2001, 00:40
WS

I think I understand your reasons for not creating lots of meaningless posts, apart of course from c) - there you have lost me completely!!!!!! :)

flyboy_33
30th Jun 2001, 09:38
Cheers to the former SHH... NOISE ABATEMENT. May he rest forever in the clear skies of the after life and in the peaceful serenity of no loud aircraft noise he longs for. Thank you for that brilliant wind up it did have me fooled for a while but then I decided to continue to have a right good old argument with the dear SHH. For the sake of Velvet and anyone else who may be wondering who the hell I am and wether I am also a wind up. I am sorry to disappoint but I am real. I am a young student pilot in Australia who was pit on this web site (fantastic one) by a fellow student. I have enjoyed very few laughs of late with the studying for my CPL and just had to reply in my usual hotheaded way. Thank you all for the compliments earlier and may PPRUNE be forever in a clear sky

CHEERS

Flyboy_33

Velvet I am serious about the GKI for next years Bash. I leave on thursday for our trip.
Until we meet!

------------------
Diversions? what the hell are they!!

Oh you mean this extra track written on the back

Slasher
1st Jul 2001, 14:08
Ok Winst thanks for giving us S..NA, but now I got no one left to mindlessley yell at or abuse the raw sh!t out of! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

PS Any plans for a new "wind-up" persona?

Velvet
1st Jul 2001, 15:48
Slash honey (and anyone else) - Winston is not Ssshhhh..... (with a space), he's the fake Sssshhh....(without a space).


As for sssshhhhh......, if I tell you who it is I'd have to - well not kill you - but make you all members of the Noise Abatement Society :)

Sssssh..... is still around and will I'm sssssssshhhsure make another appearance ;)

Winston Smith
1st Jul 2001, 16:27
SO IT'S YOU, VELVET! I HAVE TO SHOUT SO THAT EVERYONE WILL HEAR IT! THAT'S WHY YOU SAID YOU SOMETIMES POST UNDER DIFFERENT IDENTITIES!

Rollingthunder
1st Jul 2001, 17:35
Great fun this.

Actually the phrase "Noise Abatement" is latched onto early by the various groups under approaches/take-offs, in most cities. It is quoted by the airport authorities as the primary thing they have lumbered the airlines/pilots with to try to cut down on complaints. We've got noise monitors all over the area.

I once overheard a concerned resident (moved in long after the airport was built)ask one of our captains why the aircraft weren't, on approach to 26R, flown over the river (river winds), rather than straight in over all the housing. The silence after the question was so long, I was gone by then.