The RAF Corporate Message ( caution, may contain Morale)

[cornish-stormrider]

Dear all my happenin dudes and dudettes, various old farts, detractors and associated spanner monkeys.

As is common knowledge, morale appears to have fallen off the proverbial cliff. At least from way out here at any rate, so in light I propose you all have a think and then come up with a new, accurate corporate mission statement type slogan to cheer us all up........

As you might know, our colleagues in the (shudder) brown world came up with:

RAF - Reach For The Bottle.


I thought about -
When it absolutely has to be mismanged, overspent, late, and not fit for purpose..... Call the RAF, we are the experts.

or I did see a choice one on the computer of one of my colleagues:

Beatings will continue until morale improves.

[taxydual]

Old fart input

The Royal Air Force.......Taking the RAF with the smooth.

Twas ever thus.

[Melchett01]

How about "RAF - Putting the Farce in to Force Since 1918"

Or in the post redundancy era for those that are left, the Air America phrase "The few, the proud, the totally insane" might be appropriate.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

RAF - The Few,

the fewer,

the "I'm sure UAVs would be cheaper, Minister, and they don't complain"

[minigundiplomat]

RAF - The original no frills airline (and employer).

[TheWizard]

http://unscrwed.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Age-Vs-Caring.jpeg

[NutLoose]

RAF The worlds least favourite Airline

RAF Per Ardua ad TriAstra.

RAF Multitasking per se.

RAF. The eyes of the Navy

RAF Official sponsors of the 2012 Olympics

RAF Sponsored by the budget deficit

RAF Approved supplier of spare parts to the USMC


.

[golamv]

Reminds me of the comment written on the flight board in Dhahran several years ago following many "revised timings" (spread over a number of days..) for the Tristar and VC10 flights supposed to take the guys back home :

"Around The World In Eight Delays"

[TAC Queen]

The Royal Air Force
Proud investors in incompetence.
:ugh::ugh::ugh::ugh:

[Willard Whyte]

RAF: like life in the 70s except we can't afford flares.

[Wensleydale]

Perhaps......

"Delusions of Adequacy"

"Arogance through Ignorance"

or

"Squat Beneath the Rest"

:oh:

[cheesedoff]

Real A**E F*****G

[VinRouge]

Royal Air Force - Perfecting Mediocrity since the Blunties took control.

Old classic

Royal Air Force - Check in, Not Dig in. :E

[TAC Queen]

The Royal Air Force
You came to us
So why wuold we invest in you

[zetec2]

Strange no one has come up with the old one:

ROYAL AIR FARCE.

[Ali Qadoo]

How about:

1) We never forget you have no choice.
2) Because we can... (Also applies to Microsoft)
3) You play ball with us and we'll stick the bat up your a***
4) The Royal Air Force, yesterday's aircraft tomorrow.

[BEagle]

I've just been reading Royal Air Force Germany Since 1945 by Bill Taylor.

When I see the pathetic state of today's RAF, I'm reminded of how things were when I was a shiny-eyed schoolboy with a burning aspiration to be an RAF pilot back in the 1950s.

From Bill Taylor's book, here's the Air Order of Battle for just 2TAF on 1 Jul 1956:

2 Sqn Swift FR5 Geilenkirchen
3 Sqn Hunter F4 Geilenkirchen
4 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
5 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
11 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
14 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
16 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
17 Sqn Canberra PR7 Wahn
20 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
26 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
31 Sqn Canberra PR7 Laarbruch
67 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
68 Sqn Meteor NF11 Wahn
69 Sqn Canberra PR3 Laarbruch
71 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
79 Sqn Swift FR5 Wunstorf
80 Sqn Canberra PR7 Laarbruch
87 Sqn Meteor NF11 Wahn
88 Sqn Canberra B(I)8 Wildenrath
93 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
94 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
96 Sqn Meteor NF11 Ahlhorn
98 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
102 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
103 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
104 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
112 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
118 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
130 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
145 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
149 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
213 Sqn Canberra B(I)6 Ahlhorn
234 Sqn Hunter F4 Geilenkirchen
256 Sqn Meteor NF11 Ahlhorn
266 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
541 Sqn Meteor PR10 Wunstorf
652 Sqn Auster AOP6/9 Detmold

No less than 37 Sqns in Germany alone. Whereas today.......:ugh:

[maximo ping]

I think that "Person for person, an air force second to none" is going to be hard to beat...

[Ali Qadoo]

Person for person, an air force second to none


Christ on a bike, maximo, I thought you had to be making it up - but no, Google confirms it as official RAF BS.

One has to wonder what kind of utter idiot could come up with a quote like that without the puke-making drivel caption illuminating in what passes for his (or her) mind.

[Rigga]

I think you should adopt the CAA's unofficial moto:

"We're not happy until you're not happy!"

[NutLoose]

Don't forget the other Rigga The CAA ( Campaign Against Aviation )

[Wensleydale]

Has anyone had... Per Auditor Ad Astra"... yet?

Or "Per Ardua Ad Vauxhall Astra". :uhoh:

(Russ Abbott had the spoof sketch "Reach for the Bucket" a good few years ago).

Or even the film of the modern RAF: "6.33 Squadrons".

[Rigga]

AlQuidoodee said:
"Person for person, an air force second to none

Christ on a bike, maximo, I thought you had to be making it up - but no, Google confirms it as official RAF BS.

One has to wonder what kind of utter idiot could come up with a quote like that without the puke-making drivel caption illuminating in what passes for his (or her) mind."

The AOC for PR probably speaks very highly of you!

[Easy Street]

That 'person for person' quote used to read 'pound for pound and person for person, an air force second to none' but the catchphrase-writers deleted the 'pound for pound' bit about 10 years ago. A rare bit of honesty from the "good news, sir!" merchants high up on the greasy pole!

[FODPlod]

I wondered what people's weight had to do with anything. :)

[diginagain]

Time to spare? Fly CrabAir.

If you can't take the RAF, you shouldn't have joined a joke.

[D-IFF_ident]

"Second to none" could be misinterpreted as "second to last".

How about "The RAF, doing more with less since 1918"?

[NutLoose]

RAF defending the pies..

[MrBernoulli]

How about "The RAF, doing more with less since 1918"?

"The RAF, doing less with less since 1918" seems more appropriate ......

[CoffmanStarter]

How about ...

"Size doesn't matter ... it's what you do with it that counts" ... or am I thinking of something else ?

But seriously ... (with no disrespect to HM or to current serving personnel) ... sadly the Betty Windsor Flying Club "banter" of yesteryear seems very apt now in terms of force size and strength ... along with the Betty Windsor Sailing Club of a Navy and the Camouflaged Outdoor Pursuits and Orienteering Club of an Army :( Note to PM ... This fine Country deserves better ...

Honestly Lord Trenchard must have done a few flick rolls in his coffin over the last few years !

[kiwibrit]

I've just been reading Royal Air Force Germany Since 1945 by Bill Taylor.

When I see the pathetic state of today's RAF, I'm reminded of how things were when I was a shiny-eyed schoolboy with a burning aspiration to be an RAF pilot back in the 1950s.

From Bill Taylor's book, here's the Air Order of Battle for just 2TAF on 1 Jul 1956:

2 Sqn Swift FR5 Geilenkirchen
3 Sqn Hunter F4 Geilenkirchen
4 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
5 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
11 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
14 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
16 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
17 Sqn Canberra PR7 Wahn
20 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
26 Sqn Hunter F4 Oldenburg
31 Sqn Canberra PR7 Laarbruch
67 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
68 Sqn Meteor NF11 Wahn
69 Sqn Canberra PR3 Laarbruch
71 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
79 Sqn Swift FR5 Wunstorf
80 Sqn Canberra PR7 Laarbruch
87 Sqn Meteor NF11 Wahn
88 Sqn Canberra B(I)8 Wildenrath
93 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
94 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
96 Sqn Meteor NF11 Ahlhorn
98 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
102 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
103 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
104 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
112 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
118 Sqn Hunter F4 Jever
130 Sqn Hunter F4 Brüggen
145 Sqn Venom FB1 Celle
149 Sqn Canberra B2 Gütersloh
213 Sqn Meteor NF11 Ahlhorn
234 Sqn Hunter F4 Geilenkirchen
256 Sqn Canberra B(I)6 Ahlhorn
266 Sqn Venom FB4 Fassberg
541 Sqn Meteor PR10 Wunstorf
652 Sqn Auster AOP6/9 Detmold

No less than 37 Sqns in Germany alone. Whereas today......We do have a greatly reduced number of aircraft. OTOH, in those days, unless nuclear weapons were used, we had a pretty poor chance of hitting targets with an individual aircraft, so we needed a lot of planes. Effectively, improved reconnaissance, weapons accuracy and target detection have been force multipliers.

[BEagle]

Quantity has a quality of its own!

Not just aeroplanes, but supporting aircrew, groundcrew, administrators, cooks, stores, etc. etc.

And barely a non-uniformed person in sight.

Nowadays the RAF cannot even afford to own and operate a few training aeroplanes.....

[CoffmanStarter]

Maybe it's time to resurrect a few Zap Stickers to help morale ?

Some playful chap "zapped" the inside of my SD cap with the following a long time ago ... "UFO's are real the RAF is a Hallucination" ... :hmm:

Regards ...

Coff.

PS. I was never able to remove it from the waxy lining material !

[Dunky]

The RAF - FUBAR, with a vengeance. This time it's personnel, (plus bases and aircraft).

Producer: D Cameron
Director: G Osborne

[NutLoose]

RAF a 21st Century Airforce with a 20th Century fleet.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

The RAF - Doing so much with so little for so long we can now do everything with nothing

Government "Let's see..."

[oldmansquipper]

Only 37 Squadrons on 2nd TAF ...probably headed up by a 2 star and a couple of Group Captains (I`m sure someone will put the actual command structure up)

I wonder how they coped?

[Two's in]

"Never was so much owed by so many to so few" seems even more appropriate today...

[Rakshasa]

Per Ardua ad Tumbler (and scotch).


Long summed it up I think.

[Lima Juliet]

Join the RAF Regt - always on hand to take on Johnnie Foreigner in a "Battle Bowler" with Shirt and Tie...
http://www.rafregiment.net/images/RAF_Regt_poster.jpg
...priceless...:D

[Lima Juliet]

For chasing Johnny Foreigner for hours on end in a tiny tank...Join the RAF Regiment
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6a/Join_the_RAF_Regt.jpg

[Lima Juliet]

Got upside down legs or "kankles"?...there's a place for you in the WRAF!
http://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/online-exhibitions/women-of-the-air-force/images/posters/FA10265LG.jpg

[Lima Juliet]

http://www.blitzandpeaces.co.uk/Museum/WWII%20MILITARIA/WWII%20RAF%20PHOTOS/slides/RAF%20RECRUITMENT%20POSTER%20LETS%20GO.jpg

...Let's not - there's a spending review you know...

[The B Word]

http://www.arrse.co.uk/attachment.php?attachmentid=4202&stc=1&d=1167542606

[Willard Whyte]

Join the RAF Regt - always on hand to take on Johnnie Foreigner in a "Battle Bowler" with Shirt and Tie...
http://www.rafregiment.net/images/RAF_Regt_poster.jpg
...priceless...:D

Meanwhile, the crew of the Britannia are en route to the nearest 5* hotel with hot & cold Filipino ladies.

[The B Word]

http://i406.photobucket.com/albums/pp141/ranroz/file2.jpg

Join the Royal Air Force and make a direct hit (having exercised "courageous restraint" and waited 50 minutes for the targetting board to get its arse in gear).

[Willard Whyte]

The rate of pay looks pretty up-to-date,

[Lima Juliet]

Willard, I think I found the follow on poster for the Britannia crew - what place do you think it might be then? :}
http://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/online-exhibitions/women-of-the-air-force/images/wraf-1949-1994-part1/Going-placesLG.jpg

PS before everyone starts, I know its a Vickers Funbus and not a Britannia...

[Willard Whyte]

Mmmm, leather gloves...

[Willard Whyte]

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSD1LE5njAdtPMlx3jULk1iGdAeTAmlfxL3o7TJWg6 GbvDiufaj

You'll look like this by your 16/38...

http://hughcares.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Eddie.jpg

[Get me some traffic]

Very sad to see this. I seem to remember a sign in the Officers Mess at RAF Lyneham in 1969 saying "Fly Ascot, the largest fleet in Europe." It was true at the time. Also, Air Support Command (remember them) had the best safety record. The old firm deserves better.

[Big Pistons Forever]

Per Ardua ad Mixas ?

[CoffmanStarter]

All ...

Some really great historical recruiting stuff here from 1919 to 1976 ...

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/RoyalAirForce-Pilots-1938-1.jpg

Historical RAF Recruitment (http://www.aviationancestry.com/Recruitment/RafRecruit/index.html)

Regards ...

Coff

[Rigex]

Re Beag's order of battle, as an ex 213 Sqdn rigger, I always thought that "we" were the sole operators of B(I)6 Canberras, and had them from new until retirement.
Could I be mistaken...?

[BEagle]

You're quite right, Rigex, I seem to have transposed the details for 213 Sqn and 256 Sqn at Ahlhorn. Thanks for spotting my error - original post now amended!

213 Sqn are indeed listed as the only Canberra B(I)6 squadron; 256 Sqn are listed as having operated the Meteor NF11.

Incidentally, I see that the £1200 per annum I was paid as an APO whilst at University in 1972 would have equated to £21000 in 2010 based on average earnings. Whereas RAF Bursars receive only £3000 per annum today....:\

Although the MGB which cost about £1250 back then would only have costed £12000 in 2010, based on RPI......:rolleyes:

House prices have increased in a grossly disproportionate manner over the last 40 years, car prices even more so.

[A2QFI]

I am not convinced that cars have increased over and above inflation. Using a Google provided calculator I find that a BMC Mini which cost £365 tax free in Cyprus would now be £6625. I know that today's Mini is a very different and better equipped car but they start at at £11100+

[Ripline]

per ardua ad Tristar?

Ripline

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Per Ardua ad Tristar ad back to lounge ad 2nd Tristar ad lounge ad nauseum

[The B Word]

The RAF that's the way to fight a war.
Tasty tuck, soft beds and a uniform so smart it's got a
PhD from Cambridge.

Ahem...;)

[Rigex]

Thanks Beags for the gracious reply...to add to your reminiscences, I recall being paid ( as an SAC rigger) 205 DM every-other fortnight and 200 on the "in-between" ones....and the exchange rate was DM11,22 to the pound in '65 deterioratng to DM 8,35 at the end of '68 - still managed to run a 500cc BSA and obtain adequate refreshments...days gone by!
Incidentally (back almost to thread) I also remember 213 winning anything we entered (Salmond Trophy etc)

[NutLoose]

http://www.rafmuseum.org.uk/online-exhibitions/women-of-the-air-force/images/wraf-1949-1994-part1/Going-placesLG.jpg


I wonder how the crew managed to get to the door before the passengers, reminds of a certain cruise liner...

[airsound]

Also, is the captain behind her a 'real' squabbling bleeder, or is he just a VC-10 'pretend' senior officer? You know, the ones to whom junior officers used to snap a smart salute accompanied by a lips-pursed raspberry?

Plus, I note that, like me, a truckie for 20 years on and off, he's not got a single medal to his name.

Happy memories

airsound

[Lima Juliet]

Maybe the Skipper is 'on a promise' from the 'girl that's going places'?! Never mind the pax, we're off to the Bar!
:E

[Willard Whyte]

Judging by her expression I think it more likely said bird is thinking "I wish that to55er would stop following me".

[NutLoose]

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4144/4971948873_0c21556371_z.jpg


Can't argue with the logic, more Navy Cuts....

She or he appears to be one of those, a trans...ranker

[Wrathmonk]

is the captain behind her

BEagle perhaps???:E

[Roadster280]

Hats.

The bird at BZZ has a very fetching hat. was that a real hat, or something for the ad?

The cretin behind her has his on like he's in a west-end show.

The bird with the fags has thieved a male WO's hat. Or is a (rather effeminate) male WO wearing some bird sergeant's tunic. "Trans-ranker" indeed, NutLoose.

[TheWizard]

The bird with the fags has thieved a male WO's hat.
Er, negative. More badge/rank recognition for you I'm afraid Roadster.
(WOs don't have cloth badges or peaks)
He/she is definitely masquerading as an officer!

[L-H]

No she's not. The Sgts chevrons clearly indicate she's not an officer but a member of the aspirant underclass. I reckon she simply picked up the wrong hat when she scarpered from her boyfriends room...........:E

[NutLoose]

Surely she wouldn't have lowered her standards boyfriend wise that much.

[Roadster280]

Ok, fair one. Male officer's hat it is. Still doesn't match the tunic though! A new twist on the "collar/cuffs mismatch"?

Shouldn't she have an eagle badge on her shoulder though? The BZZ floozy's got one.

Anyway, what is that on her bonce? Was it an issued hat for birds?

[NutLoose]

Nope they were withdrawn as a cost cutting exercise and were not on the uniforms in the 70's, 80's. They were reintroduced to boost Moral and make folks proud to be part of the RAF etc etc..... appears to have failed miserably on that count ...

[Wander00]

Beags cannot have seen this thread, or "you lknow who" would have made an appearance!

[Roadster280]

Here we go, save him bothering. Cut to the chase and all that.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/777072/York.png

Now, what is it on the bird's head in the BZZ poster? Was it issued for all WRAF, or just for trolley dollies? Or is it in fact just a tease?

[L-H]

They sadly were the issue pork pie hat for members of the WRAF up until the late '80s when an attempt was made to introduce something a little more flattering. The RAF uniform in general from around 1972 onwards went a little awry with such gems as the No2 Thunderbird jacket with slopey zippy things on the breast pockets. Airmans No1 uniform losing the belt, and ****ehawk, only to have them both reintroduced 25 years later. working on that premise can we re-introduce the Mosquito into service please? Please, pleeeeeaaaaaase!:}

[Roadster280]

Thanks! Well I for one think it was a retrograde step. The later pattern hat looks like a female copper's hat crossed with a trilby. Awful thing.

The Thunderbird jacket, now that was a great thing. The first time I saw one was in the 90s, an ancient MACR came into our (Army) hangar wearing his. We all disappeared behind our Rovers killing ourselves laughing. He looked utterly ridiculous. He had MASSIVE badges of rank on it, on both arms. He'd also been in since Trenchard, and had a double row of medal ribbons up. It looked like he'd just rolled out of the 1960s. His jacket probably had. Nice old bloke, but it was definitely time for him to hang his jacket up and retire.

[StopStart]

My grandfather was firmly of the opinion (and rightly so) that the rot set in when they lost turn ups from the No1 trousers and the bottom button from the jacket. Bring those back and I'm sure you'd see efficiency and morale soar. Possibly.

[NutLoose]

I still have my thunderbird jacket somewhere, before it came out you could get an old No1 jacket cut down to a jacket looking similar to the old hairy mary battledress jackets, and that was smart, when the new jacket was announced everyone thought we would get similar, but obviously it was tailored by an accountant and looked dreadful..

I was lucky, I missed the hairy Mary's by weeks, some Waafs I knew were issued with them in 76.. In those days you got one pair of number 1 trousers and one pair of number 2's. A couple of years later sense prevailed and we got dark blue engineering shirts, an extra pair of number 2's and I think 2 pairs of working blue trousers... Before that as an engineer I was stupid, spill Skydrol on yourself and you were trouser less until you could get them cleaned.. They also changed a damn good Woolley pulley to a v neck to appease the blunties, which I believe has gone back the other way now. Still at Odiham if you wanted the latest kit before anyone else, one only had to go to the local Sunday market :E

I always thought the Waafs hat looked smart, but then I never had to wear it.

[diginagain]

The Thunderbird jacket, now that was a great thing. The first time I saw one was in the 90s, an ancient MACR came into our (Army) hangar wearing his. We all disappeared behind our Rovers killing ourselves laughing. He looked utterly ridiculous. He had MASSIVE badges of rank on it, on both arms. He'd also been in since Trenchard, and had a double row of medal ribbons up. It looked like he'd just rolled out of the 1960s. His jacket probably had. Nice old bloke, but it was definitely time for him to hang his jacket up and retire. Might he have been one of the two Masters who 'ran' JATOC in the early 90's?

[Roadster280]

This was MAOTs, HQ 1Gp, Upavon. Don't know where he went after there. We had several Master team leaders. This one was JM.

Even their titles was a pain. I think I'm right in saying that they should all have been MACR in 1991, but they had differing backgrounds, and if they hadn't been on helicopters since the "MACR" title came out, insisted on being "MALM". JM actually had the "QM" brevet on some of his kit.

[diginagain]

Not the chap I'm thinking of, but clearly cut from the same cloth as Brian and George.

[TheWizard]

Beags cannot have seen this thread, or "you lknow who" would have made an appearance!

I think I have found why Beags has not been on here yet!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/Wholigan/RAFfemmefatale.jpg


Sorry about the image size, I couldn't make it smaller!! :ooh:

(But your friendly mod can!)

[Lima Juliet]

Is that the new RAF Fitness Test press up technique? Dark blue here I come then!

LJ :ok:

[Dunky]

Is that the new RAF Fitness Test press up technique?

Only if you have an aerial socket on the back of your neck.

[NutLoose]

Wizard..... I nearly sprayed my iPad with wine lol..... Excellent.