Akrotiri Vulcans

[tilleydog1]

One of my most pleasant memories was when I was sitting in Red Cross 1 alongside the runway at Akrotiri in about 1973. It seemed that every Vulcan that was there at the time was ready to take off, the noise and the vibrations were truly amazing! And watching them depart was a bit sad.
I seem to remember we had IX and 35 squadrons there at some time, what I cannot remember is if it was just one squadron or both that took off that day. Can anybody help me with this and how many aircraft would there have been?

Many thanks

[Pontius Navigator]

Just a guess but we usually had an annual generation exercise and a fly-off. It would have been the whole wing. Are you sure it was 1973?

I remember one in I think '72 where the 'master' planner organised the taxi plan. As the aircraft were in two dispersals and parked in two lines nose to nose it had to be carefully orchestrated. One dispersal had to taxi through the other dispersal to reach the runway.

Plan 1 was for the aircraft at the southern end to go first turning to the south with subsequent aircraft feeding in left and right.

AL1 had the northern end going first and turning to the north !!!!!!!!!!!

[tilleydog1]

Thanks for that PN,Yes it might have been 1972, it seems an awful long time ago now!

[Tankertrashnav]

That must have been the day that the Vulcan static display was fired up for its annual airtest. The rest of the time they looked very pretty, decorating the various dispersals.

We used to admire them as we taxied past ;)

[Pontius Navigator]

TTN, that would have been the afternoon or the weekend. Now had you been there on Wednesday :)

[Yellow Sun]

TTN

We used to admire them as we taxied past

Tell me TTN, did they ever get around to painting yellow bands on the tankers so that they matched the rest of the ground equipment?

YS:E

[FAN BLADE]

I really enjoyed my tour at RAF Akrotiri between 1972 - 1974 on BWSS (Bomber Wing Servicing Squardon) as an A Tech P. If my memory serves me right, I think we launched 18 aircraft in 1973 because we emptied both Delta and Echo dispersals. The first aircraft was rolling down the runway and we still had a number of aircraft waiting to taxi out from the dispersal, a great site never to be repeated. Another great display of firepower was a four ship launch from the 56 Sqn dispersal for CENTO, the flare was fired from the runway caravan which landed on the dry grass and by the time the last aircraft was rolling down the runway, a hugh fire was gathering pace behind us. Happy days. :):):)

Great detachments. Scampton for the bombing competion - we had the winning crew with XH562. Coming around the back of Scampton's Operations Block just after midnight after putting the aircraft to bed for the night, who was there, the SWO, he shouts airman, we shout SWO and run like ****, he never did catch us :D:D Masirah for the fishing and the nights out in the Turtle Bar. Shiraz, a sad loss for XJ781 in the wadi between the two runways, I will never forget that landing when she went vertical prior to settling on her belly.

[Art Field]

YS

Never had time to do any painting, too busy flying all over.

[Pontius Navigator]

I well remember one day, the checks seemed to be 'brakes on/off, fuel dump on" followed shortly thereafter by a tannoy prohibiting any smoking on the whole station.

Place absolutely stank of avtur. The Mk 1 may have been prettier but it lacked a certain je ne c'est pas.:}

[FAN BLADE]

PN
Very true. When 55 and 57 used to visit AKR, they must have had the only Victors that ran their Conway's on KEO fumes. Most of the time they were parked on Charlie getting a sun tan. !!!!!!!!

[Tankertrashnav]

Tell me TTN, did they ever get around to painting yellow bands on the tankers so that they matched the rest of the ground equipment?




Hmm - had to drag the logbook out for this one:

Wed 4 Oct 73 - Transit Marham - Akrotiri - 5hrs 25min
Thu 5 Oct - Litex (working with 56 practising their AAR) - 2.45
Fri 6 Oct - Litex - 2.10

Weekend exploring the fleshpots of Kyrenia IIRC

Mon 9 Oct -Litex - 2.40
Tue 10 Oct - Litex - 2.20
Wed 11 Oct - Litex - 2.50
Wed 11 Oct - Night Litex - 2.10
Fri 13 Oct - Transit Akrotiri - Marham - 4.30

Which leaves Thursday. As I recall we helped dust down the Vulcan display and swept tumbleweed off their dispersals ;)

Yellow paint indeed!

[Pontius Navigator]

FB, noooo, these were Saphires running on kokinelli.

[FAN BLADE]

So that was the cause of the black smoke coming out of the jet pipes during the climbout:ok::ok:

[FAN BLADE]

Did Tankertrashnav visit the fleshpots of Nicosia - Suzys and the Bamboo Bar on the way to Kyrenia !!!!!!

[FAN BLADE]

S.A.C.W. White and the Seven Crew Chiefs

"Once upon a time in a far away land called Big 'A', there lived a beautiful young airwoman called S.A.C.W. White. Now S.A.C.W. White's lot was not a happy one. She had gone for a friendly chat in a recruiting office and before she knew it the magic words had been whispered and she was whisked away to the kingdom of Big 'A', there to work in the Hydraulic Bay. Now in this bay lurked a great hairy Chief Tech and two ugly sergeants, and from morning till night S.A.C.W. White slaved away whilst the Chief Tech. and the sergeants rattled the dominoes in the crew room. It was "Whitey, have you got those none return valves tested? Are those brake units ready yet? And what about those jacks?" But there was one ray of sunshine for her - the section kebab. This annual extravaganza was to be held this year at Mahmouts, and there was romance in the air. It was the thought of this that gave her strength to carry on. The day wore on and her excitement grew, but deep in her heart she knew what was going to happen (and it did). Ten minutes to knocking off time the call from V.S.F. with the now routine' cry, "I must have these shuttle valves first thing in the morning". Suddenly S.A. C.W. White was alone, the sound of receding Alfa's and Lancia's was all that indicated others had dwelt there. With a sigh she turned back to the test bench; the visions of succulent sausages and kokinnelli were now beginning to fade. She assembled the first valve and connected it to Big 'A's one and only hydraulic test rig. (it was said Noah had left it there when the floods subsided) but 56 Sqn had been using it all day and it was now as serviceable as one of their Lightnings. This was the last straw; "To hell with it!" she cried, and rushed out. It was dark, and as D.O.E. time switch was working perfectly, all the lights that had been on all day were now switched off. She staggered blindly through darkness, not knowing where she was going. Suddenly she knew she must be in a bomber wing dispersal, for only there could the FOD lie so deep and crisp and even; terror gripped her, here she was, a young girl, alone in a bomber wing. She recalled with dread the tales that told of the carniverous crew chiefs that were daily unshackled and allowed to roam at will in these God forsaken parts. Overcome by fear she swooned away.

The following morning two of bomber wing's intrepid airmen 'Taff and Paddy' were on their way to work. They knew they had a hard day of volley-ball and uckers ahead of them, but never-the-Iess they were in good heart. Paddy suddenly stopped. .
"Hey, Taff, what's that on the pan". "Isn't it a Vulcan?".
"No, that thing underneath".
Oh that! it's only F.O.D."
"It looks like a body to me".

They were only half an hour late for work so they had plenty of time to go and investigate; as they approached, the body moved.
"Taff, it's alive and moving".
"It can't be one of our trade managers then".

They stood staring down at the still unconscious form of S.A.C.W. White looking so lost and forlorn among the F.O.D.
"What do you reckon, Paddy".
"Well, she'd be no good for uckers and we've enough for volley-ball".
"But she still might be dead".
"Let's put her in with the crew chiefs then she wouldn't be noticed there".

They took a leg each and set off for the tine hut.

Back in the dispersal line hut the time was 8 o'clock and six of the crew chiefs had already arrived to start the 7 o'clock shift. An air of complacency hung over the room and the kettle was on. Suddenly the door burst open and in ran their missing member showing grave signs of distress. When he could speak coherently he gasped "They've' done it! The nightshift have worked all night and the aircraft are all serviceable', and we've only got an hour to put them u/s again". This was a challenge all crew chiefs understood, and, as one man, they rose, but he turned to Chalky and said "I'm sorry Chalky but they've, already signed yours up and they're crewing in". Chalky turned white and his knees began to sag. Two of the others led him to a corner to be alone with his grief. They tried to console him but three years a crew chief and this was the third time an aircraft had come serviceable during his shift - he felt the disgrace deeply. The others set forth determined they would not suffer a like fate.

Meanwhile, Taff and Paddy arrived at the hut; there was no response to their repeated knocking so they opened the door and walked in. The place was deserted apart from a crew chief with a vacant expression on his face and an F700 clutched tightly to his breast "Er . . .Chief", said Paddy, but a wracking sob was the only answer he got as the chief's iron control finally gave way. "All Bomber wing has finally got him" said Taff knowingly. "But what do we do with her?" asked Paddy. They looked around and in the corner they saw a pile of amendments that were waiting to be incorporated in the hut's A.P.'s. They were dated 1969, 1970, 1972, 1973 and 1974. 1971's had been used as score sheets on the uckers board. "We'll put her on the top of that lot" said Taff, "They'II action her when they get back". So they laid her across the amendments with an old bundle of priority signals for a pillow, and with a sympathetic "hang on, chief". they left.

The crew chiefs returned and it could be seen by their attitude, as they headed for the table and a game of clag, that success had been theirs. Only Smudge had that look of apprehension as his aircrafts condition had still to be decided, but he was confident as it was now in the hands of bomber wing's highest technical authority, S.A.C. Malone. They took their places at the table. "Somebody's been sitting in my chair" said the crew chief leader with the air of a dethroned monarch. "Somebody's moved the dominoes and crib board" said the deputy, who was responsible for the hut's athletics. "And someone has been lying on the uckers score sheets and they are still there, fast asleep", chirrupped the U/T crew chief who was irresponsible anyway. They advanced on the inert form of S.A.C.W. White.

In the, wing itself a change was felt.. The atmosphere became tense; an air of expectancy hung over the place and all knew our hero was abroad - 'Warrant Officer Charming'! He had been known as 'Stan' to his friends but the last of these had long since past away - now he lived with the loneliness that only power can bring. Whenever he sallied forth trade managers sank deeper into their armchairs, tradesmen quaked, and their volleyball became erratic. Even the ground equipment tried to look serviceable.

Today he was happy, at a conference with Wing CO God (he ascended from Scampton) they'd both agreed they were damn fine fellows. It was also S.N.C.O.'s assessment time and as he was a fair man he hated them all equally, and it was with delight that he mentally permed the threes and fours he would award them. So all looked well in bomber wing. His wanderings took him near the crew chief's tine hut, he pondered whether to enter, as he was fully up to date with his innocculations and vaccinations, so he knew the risk was minimum. Fearlessly he strode in and quickly he sized up the situation, and in a flash he whipped out his red biro. "I'll categorise it", he said. At the sight of that red biro the crew chiefs fell back, they'd seen that biro at work before, it had scarred many a F700.

At that moment S.A.C'.W. White opened her eyes, and finding herself surrounded by crew chiefs, knew all was lost. "Woe is me" she cried. "No, me, is WO", said our hero, but when she looked into his baby blue eyes she knew never again would she fear the great hairies, and he knew that someone would call him 'STAN' again, and the crew chiefs!! Well, uckers is uckers!

[brakedwell]

Due to very strong tailwinds we were about to break the BZN - AKR Britannia East Med speed record when we reported downwind for RWY28. Unfortunately a Lightning ahead of us suffered a burst tyre on landing and came to a stop two thirds of the way along the runway. We were told to hold overhead at 1000' while they sorted it out. Ten minutes later an Akrotiri Vulcan arrived from a low level navex and announced he was short of fuel. After a lot a phaffing around nobody could say how long it would take to clear the runway.

The Vulcan pilot threatened to divert to Nicosia if he couldn't land within the next ten minutes which, he said, would be no problem with the strong westerly wind. When ATC cleared him to land at his own discretion I positioned the Brit above the Vulcan as it was on short finals. It appeared to be almost hovering as it crossed the threshold and stopped well inside the first third of the runway - most impressive. Half an hour later they towed the Lightning off the runway and we landed on schedule.

[Tankertrashnav]

Fan Blade - great story, and confirms all my suspicions ;)

No, never stopped off at Nicosia, which is a shame. The salubrious watering holes of Limassol were as much as I could take (anyone remember The Green Rock?)

[Brian 48nav]

Green Rock! Been trying to forget it for the last 40 years!

A favourite hang-out for not very discerning Herc' crews, though I did bump into my schoolmate and then 'brother-in-law' there with his Vulcan crew out from Waddington. Well not really 'his crew' as he was the co-pilot.

[dagama]

AT crews were put up in the Panorama in Hero's Square so partaking of the 'hospitality' of the Green Rock, Hermes and Olympus (lady on a white horse) was not too difficult. The Russian ladies looked very lush after a few Keos/kokenelli.

[Pontius Navigator]

I admire your memory and sense of awareness. All I can remember is where my favourite bar was. The southern entrance to the square, the bar on the immediate right, the roof could come off in the summer and an amazing roller-boot show with the young lady spining on a mouth brace and ankles just missing the roof supports.

Of course I can't remember anything about the waitress called Jasmine.

I also remember another show on the other side of the square. An old boy and a gamine daughter did an act. He was a magician IIRC and she would dance and writhe on a light box. She remained fully clothed and it was extremely erotic.

She then went round as a boot boy blowing bubble gun and polishing the audiences shoes. She did a really good job and got them clean and shiney, but she only cleaned one shoe per person.

[brakedwell]

I also remember another show on the other side of the square. An old boy and a gamine daughter did an act. He was a magician IIRC and she would dance and writhe on a light box. She remained fully clothed and it was extremely erotic.

Rex Nightclub, Heros Square PN? The Green Rock didn't exist in my time on Brits (66/74)

[Pontius Navigator]

BW, I claim brain fade. It were all in a mist at the time and dark outside. :}

[Brian 48nav]

I was only in for 8 years ending late '73 and the Green Rock is the only Hero Square bar name I can remember, so definitely there 70-73.

[Tankertrashnav]

I can confirm that Brian. You may not remember it Brakedwell but it was certainly there. Frequented by hordes of uncouth and unwashed tankertrash it was not a salubrious spot, and unsuited to tender TC/ASC susceptibilities, so probably a good thing you never came across it ;)

I remember the magician well but don't recall his daughter. Probably warned off tanker crews by her dad!

[brakedwell]

I got bored with Heros square well before 1970, maybe there was a name change.

[Truck2005]

I touched the Vulcan world only on two occasions. Did a short stint at St. Athan on Majors in 78 but the other was more fun. Back in 77 I was on TASF in Akrotiri and our wing included the armoury. This year they got tasked with blowing off the legs of the fire dump Vulcan that sat down near Echo. We all went down to sit in the monnie ditch and watch. I am not too sure if it was intentional but instead of blowing the legs through the wings and dropping the rest onto the ground the opposite happened.

The aircraft was blown off the legs and sent into orbit and all the telephone lines etc. underneath were cut by the blast:D

My lasting memories of that day was watching the nose section flutter to the ground in bits!!!!!!!

Local papers had a field day about this accident involving the local nuc aircraft:eek:

[XFTroop]

I'm with you TTN (hi again) and Brian 48 ( we xed paths dirty 30 navs 71 ish-era of Derek Ox and Ron Thomas:ok:).

The Green Rock was first encountered by I while on Night Fly det Akro with 242 ocu from TI in Nov 70. As you say TTN less than salubrious; as I recall the men's bog was even lesser (grammer?) salubrious and the wall you faced while doing the biz was covered with signatures which read like the Air Force List:).

Although we were accomodated on base for this det, my subsequent (many) visits as a newly fully fledged member of truckie command (albert division) we hotacted down town Limassol 'cos those 'kin noisy flying flat-iron thingies used to disturb our beauty sleep:E.
Those were the days---ho-hum!

XFT

[Pontius Navigator]

As you say TTN less than salubrious; as I recall the men's bog was even lesser (grammer?) salubrious and the wall you faced while doing the biz was covered with signatures which read like the Air Force List:).

And spelling - grammar, but you haven't done insalubrious if you haven't done Bugis Street. You could not stay in there long enough to do up your flies let alone sign your name.

[brakedwell]

Bugis Street, Straight Street, aka The "Gut" - all gone, but not forgotten. :{

[ancientaviator62]

Ah Bugis Street ! Went back to Singapore after almost 30 yrs and asked my stepson , who worked out there, to take me to Bugis Street. Quelle letdown. It was full of stalls selling 'designer' clothes. It was not the only place I did not recognise. The disorientation started at Changi Airport and never stopped !.

[FAN BLADE]

Pop's Soup Kitchen after a night on the bevy !!!!!!

[goudie]

When I took Mrs G down Bugis St in the late '60s, she was really peed off 'cos some of the 'chaps' wore far more expensive frocks, than hers!

[Pontius Navigator]

Goudie, but not as long I'll be bound.

[Brian 48nav]

I dunno about skirt length; Mrs B48N had to be careful sitting down or bending over in those days (oops!) - voted best legs of wife/girl friend by the 'livers-in' in Temple Hill OM.

Nearly had her eyes scratched out by the 'KyTies' down Bugis Street!

Not bad now for her age!

[mobilearp]

I too was stationed on the wing from 72-74 as a mech a , and experienced the demise of 781, a great feat in landing without a huge pile of metal.
Also being on detachment in masiah when we had a malfunction leaving the last landing of the detachment stranded in the centre of the runways blocking the path for the oncoming Sultan the next day. so working all night and missing the end of det party, but being the heroes we were as Vulcan ground crew we managed with a few hours to spare.
But we made up for it many times after nights, first in the naafi then a kebab and ending in the square.


happy days even during the brief visit to Malta during the invasion of 74, loved it all

[smujsmith]

Taceval, must have been the year before the big upset that sent us all home, and I'm a Jnr Tech on Eng Wing (funnily enough in the Hydraulic Bay at the time, it was one Chf Tech, One Sergeant and yes we had an SACW but her name wasn't White, but not far out). I've been out for hours doing guard on the parallel taxiway, and the Vulcans are coming back from Malta and everywhere else they dispersed to, to avoid the exercise. As their arrival seemed to be timed together, the peri track was nose to tail in Mr Avro's finest. One beast, stopped in the queue adjacent to my patrol point, looking up to the cockpit windows, the RH round one, I notice the proffering of a "Winston" salute in my direction. Having spent the past three days pounding this bit of bondu, I decided that this banter was worthy of reply. Shorts lowered and offering the moon ensured that I really felt justice had been done (and sod you co pilot).

Around two hours later I had a short, very one sided "conversation" with OC 35 squadron, who pointed out that such treatment of his hard working Aircrew, who were working their spheroids off trying to help us all through Taceval, was not acceptable. Having been asked to explain myself, and mentioning the salute from the co pilot, I was silenced and told "Royal Air Force Officers do not act in that fashion". Well I took my rollicking that day, but, today I might argue. A few years as a GE soon put the lie to his assertions. On leaving the Hydraulic Bay I was given the option of Lightnings or Vulcans next, I chose Lightnings, they did seem to have better manners (said he who mooned a Vulcan) :O

Smudge:ok:

[Pontius Navigator]

smuj, I suspect it was not the Taceval but the security exercise if the aircraft had returned from away bases..

We certainly did a taceval launch. The first attempt at a master plan had Vulcans taxying out of their dispersal slots in a carefully prescribed order, turning smartly south and exiting through the ground equipment park.

AL1 had the turns reversed and the aircraft turning properly north.

Come the off the plan and AL1 went out the window and it was survival of the fastest :} Naturally we would have all returned about the same time if it had been the Taceval.

The annual security exercise was always a farce. Professionals against the amateurs. The raiding battalion had always recced the base and probably knew the bundo even better than the resident Rocks. Every year we lost either all the aircraft or all the aircrew.

One year Mike Beavis, Gp Capt Ops had a master plan. Disperse all the aircraft to Malta. Masirah etc and put both aircrew and aircraft out of reach. It worked but it were hard work patrolling the streets of Malta. :)

[smujsmith]

Fan Blade #31,

Pops soup kitchen. Now you're talking. Many is the night that I've been grateful for a bowl of goulash and a chunk of bread in that establishment. In my day, it was the only way to finish an "evenings entertainment" in the square.

Pontius #37,

Thanks for that, ISTR that that was day three of guarding the taxiway, so assumed it would be a Taceval, but, weren't those Vulcan Co pilots vulgar:rolleyes:

Smudge:ok:

[thing]

Can't add any tales of the Vulcan, far too young for that, (cough) but feel bound to add a short tale of Cypriot descent.

On detachment with the mighty E3 a pal of ours on the first day said he would aquire a couple of hire cars for the duration as he knew a less than salubrious local who dealt in that sort of thing. He duly turned up an hour later with two scrap heap wrecks; on enquiring how much these two heaps were going to cost us he said
'A pound each.'

'Wow that's good' I said, '
A pound each per day'

'No' he said 'A pound each for the cars, for the whole detatchment.'

So we made the best use of them. After a particularly inebriated day at Aiya Napa (before it became Aiya Napa) we decided to return home, me semi comatose in the back. I awoke to hear concerned discussions as to how we had managed to make a wrong turn. I raised my head to find that we were driving down the taxiway at Limassol Airport. I lay back down and went back to sleep thinking that the lack of headlights on the car would hide us. Apparently it did because nothing was heard and we certainly didn't say anything.

Good days!

[ricardian]

Limmasol in 1966, ambling around the Square and seeing a local female run out of a house towards a Cypriot Police Vauxhall Velox screaming that she had been attacked and pointing towards the way her attacker had gone. Unfortunately the police car would not start so we gave the police car a push to get it started! Almost as amusing as seeing the police motorcyclist in Gibraltar (1970 or so) fall off his bike rouding a sharp corner

[Pontius Navigator]

Mess barmen were a good source of hire cars.

[Lancman]

I heard of a Navigator who took his wife into a bar in Heros Square and was charged corkage.

[langleybaston]

Pre-Vulcan days at RAF Nicosia c. 1962. [do you a nice Javelin, though]

There was an infamous bicycle-mounted flasher of Old Nicosia who used to target the area near the Bank Of Cyprus [I think it was] where a lot of Brits went to queue humbly for money. The flasher always had his tackle "up for the business".

Young wifey [not mine, sorry to say] jammed her parasol [I expect she was wearing demure white gloves as well] in his front spokes.

In flight, he caught his tackle UNDER the handlebars and did himself some real mischief.

This tale comes courtesy of the Young Wives Club [or whatever] via my wife, who has been on the lookout for a cyclist flasher ever since.

[500N]

Does anyone have any photos of these mass take offs ?

[Pontius Navigator]

I have one of a 4xVulcan at Cranwell. Really you needed to stand where I was which was on the ORP. It is not online though.

[ms1mm0]

Taff Simmonds - my father. We were stationed at Akrotiri 1967-69. He often referred to Paddy and Chalky.

Such good memories.


S.A.C.W. White and the Seven Crew Chiefs

"Once upon a time in a far away land called Big 'A', there lived a beautiful young airwoman called S.A.C.W. White. Now S.A.C.W. White's lot was not a happy one. She had gone for a friendly chat in a recruiting office and before she knew it the magic words had been whispered and she was whisked away to the kingdom of Big 'A', there to work in the Hydraulic Bay. Now in this bay lurked a great hairy Chief Tech and two ugly sergeants, and from morning till night S.A.C.W. White slaved away whilst the Chief Tech. and the sergeants rattled the dominoes in the crew room. It was "Whitey, have you got those none return valves tested? Are those brake units ready yet? And what about those jacks?" But there was one ray of sunshine for her - the section kebab. This annual extravaganza was to be held this year at Mahmouts, and there was romance in the air. It was the thought of this that gave her strength to carry on. The day wore on and her excitement grew, but deep in her heart she knew what was going to happen (and it did). Ten minutes to knocking off time the call from V.S.F. with the now routine' cry, "I must have these shuttle valves first thing in the morning". Suddenly S.A. C.W. White was alone, the sound of receding Alfa's and Lancia's was all that indicated others had dwelt there. With a sigh she turned back to the test bench; the visions of succulent sausages and kokinnelli were now beginning to fade. She assembled the first valve and connected it to Big 'A's one and only hydraulic test rig. (it was said Noah had left it there when the floods subsided) but 56 Sqn had been using it all day and it was now as serviceable as one of their Lightnings. This was the last straw; "To hell with it!" she cried, and rushed out. It was dark, and as D.O.E. time switch was working perfectly, all the lights that had been on all day were now switched off. She staggered blindly through darkness, not knowing where she was going. Suddenly she knew she must be in a bomber wing dispersal, for only there could the FOD lie so deep and crisp and even; terror gripped her, here she was, a young girl, alone in a bomber wing. She recalled with dread the tales that told of the carniverous crew chiefs that were daily unshackled and allowed to roam at will in these God forsaken parts. Overcome by fear she swooned away.

The following morning two of bomber wing's intrepid airmen 'Taff and Paddy' were on their way to work. They knew they had a hard day of volley-ball and uckers ahead of them, but never-the-Iess they were in good heart. Paddy suddenly stopped. .
"Hey, Taff, what's that on the pan". "Isn't it a Vulcan?".
"No, that thing underneath".
Oh that! it's only F.O.D."
"It looks like a body to me".

They were only half an hour late for work so they had plenty of time to go and investigate; as they approached, the body moved.
"Taff, it's alive and moving".
"It can't be one of our trade managers then".

They stood staring down at the still unconscious form of S.A.C.W. White looking so lost and forlorn among the F.O.D.
"What do you reckon, Paddy".
"Well, she'd be no good for uckers and we've enough for volley-ball".
"But she still might be dead".
"Let's put her in with the crew chiefs then she wouldn't be noticed there".

They took a leg each and set off for the tine hut.

Back in the dispersal line hut the time was 8 o'clock and six of the crew chiefs had already arrived to start the 7 o'clock shift. An air of complacency hung over the room and the kettle was on. Suddenly the door burst open and in ran their missing member showing grave signs of distress. When he could speak coherently he gasped "They've' done it! The nightshift have worked all night and the aircraft are all serviceable', and we've only got an hour to put them u/s again". This was a challenge all crew chiefs understood, and, as one man, they rose, but he turned to Chalky and said "I'm sorry Chalky but they've, already signed yours up and they're crewing in". Chalky turned white and his knees began to sag. Two of the others led him to a corner to be alone with his grief. They tried to console him but three years a crew chief and this was the third time an aircraft had come serviceable during his shift - he felt the disgrace deeply. The others set forth determined they would not suffer a like fate.

Meanwhile, Taff and Paddy arrived at the hut; there was no response to their repeated knocking so they opened the door and walked in. The place was deserted apart from a crew chief with a vacant expression on his face and an F700 clutched tightly to his breast "Er . . .Chief", said Paddy, but a wracking sob was the only answer he got as the chief's iron control finally gave way. "All Bomber wing has finally got him" said Taff knowingly. "But what do we do with her?" asked Paddy. They looked around and in the corner they saw a pile of amendments that were waiting to be incorporated in the hut's A.P.'s. They were dated 1969, 1970, 1972, 1973 and 1974. 1971's had been used as score sheets on the uckers board. "We'll put her on the top of that lot" said Taff, "They'II action her when they get back". So they laid her across the amendments with an old bundle of priority signals for a pillow, and with a sympathetic "hang on, chief". they left.

The crew chiefs returned and it could be seen by their attitude, as they headed for the table and a game of clag, that success had been theirs. Only Smudge had that look of apprehension as his aircrafts condition had still to be decided, but he was confident as it was now in the hands of bomber wing's highest technical authority, S.A.C. Malone. They took their places at the table. "Somebody's been sitting in my chair" said the crew chief leader with the air of a dethroned monarch. "Somebody's moved the dominoes and crib board" said the deputy, who was responsible for the hut's athletics. "And someone has been lying on the uckers score sheets and they are still there, fast asleep", chirrupped the U/T crew chief who was irresponsible anyway. They advanced on the inert form of S.A.C.W. White.

In the, wing itself a change was felt.. The atmosphere became tense; an air of expectancy hung over the place and all knew our hero was abroad - 'Warrant Officer Charming'! He had been known as 'Stan' to his friends but the last of these had long since past away - now he lived with the loneliness that only power can bring. Whenever he sallied forth trade managers sank deeper into their armchairs, tradesmen quaked, and their volleyball became erratic. Even the ground equipment tried to look serviceable.

Today he was happy, at a conference with Wing CO God (he ascended from Scampton) they'd both agreed they were damn fine fellows. It was also S.N.C.O.'s assessment time and as he was a fair man he hated them all equally, and it was with delight that he mentally permed the threes and fours he would award them. So all looked well in bomber wing. His wanderings took him near the crew chief's tine hut, he pondered whether to enter, as he was fully up to date with his innocculations and vaccinations, so he knew the risk was minimum. Fearlessly he strode in and quickly he sized up the situation, and in a flash he whipped out his red biro. "I'll categorise it", he said. At the sight of that red biro the crew chiefs fell back, they'd seen that biro at work before, it had scarred many a F700.

At that moment S.A.C'.W. White opened her eyes, and finding herself surrounded by crew chiefs, knew all was lost. "Woe is me" she cried. "No, me, is WO", said our hero, but when she looked into his baby blue eyes she knew never again would she fear the great hairies, and he knew that someone would call him 'STAN' again, and the crew chiefs!! Well, uckers is uckers!

[Old Speckled Aircrew]

I touched the Vulcan world only on two occasions. Did a short stint at St. Athan on Majors in 78 but the other was more fun. Back in 77 I was on TASF in Akrotiri and our wing included the armoury. This year they got tasked with blowing off the legs of the fire dump Vulcan that sat down near Echo. We all went down to sit in the monnie ditch and watch. I am not too sure if it was intentional but instead of blowing the legs through the wings and dropping the rest onto the ground the opposite happened.

The aircraft was blown off the legs and sent into orbit and all the telephone lines etc. underneath were cut by the blast:D

My lasting memories of that day was watching the nose section flutter to the ground in bits!!!!!!!

Local papers had a field day about this accident involving the local nuc aircraft:eek:

Would anyone remember the serial number of this particular aircraft destroyed in 1977?.

[ZH875]

Would anyone remember the serial number of this particular aircraft destroyed in 1977?.
possibly B1A XH478.

[Old Speckled Aircrew]

ZH875 After 4 days of searching I think I have to agree with you XH478

[Cornish Jack]

Ah ! 'bang-makers' and aircraft - not a good combination !! Anyone else recall the Leconfield blast wall removal attempt ? Not present , personally, but the account I heard was a reminder of possible problems.:=

[The Oberon]

The only time in 22 years that I was issued with a loaded rifle was to guard the bombed up Akrotiri Vulcans during the Dawson's Field hijackings. The story went round that in the event of the hijackers blowing up the aircraft with the passengers on board, the Jordanians would secure the area and the Vulcans would go and flatten the place.

[Barrie Dammarell]

i was only in for 8 years ending late '73 and the green rock is the only hero square bar name i can remember, so definitely there 70-73.
the green rock was my second home 1971 to 1974 while serving on bwss raf akrotiri happy days