Best Mess Bar Accessory ... Probably !

[CoffmanStarter]

Hi all ...

I've seen Bar's "forged" out of aircraft wings ... Ashtrays made out of spent Canberra/Hunter starting cartridges ... Coffee Tables fabricated from aero engines ... but this has got to be the most creative (and perhaps useful) use of ex-military hardware.

The Phantom Bar ... yours at a cool $0.25m :eek:

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af162/CoffmanStarter/IMG_0092.jpg

Apparently they are deactivated F4 MB Mk7's ... could be fun ... 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila Woooosh :E

Unless anyone knows of a more outrageous example of grown-up playground equipment that is ?

Best regards ...

Coff.

[CargoMatatu]

The wife says I can't have it! :{

[son of brommers]

is it me or are the port and s'board lights farce about ace?
..............only sour grapes 'cos I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:*

[pontifex]

No, it's coming towards you. BREAK RIGHT!

[walter kennedy]

Does the bar manager have the remote ...?

[pr00ne]

Bloody uncomfortable things at the best of times. Damned if I'd want to sit on one in a bar..

[oldbeefer]

I'd have thought a tasty WRAF air tragicer!

[1.3VStall]

Oldbeefer,

Yup, married one!

[Jayand]

Ha ha ha, thats a good one, tasty and wraf in the same sentence.

[L J R]

Someone should learn how to put a 'tiny' charge in them and use it to eject a patron if necessary.

[MG]

Best mess accessory that I recall seeing was the padded headboard above the urinals at Aldergrove. Given by the last Wessex crews and taken away once the army joined the mess. A genius accessory, essential when a little 'tired'.

[Thud_and_Blunder]

Ah, MG - the army have 'previous' for removal of useful stuff from Messes once they take over. Someone's bound to come up with (regurgitate?) the story of the 'facility' that used to greet you as you entered the Gents in the Gutersloh OM.

[MG]

I suppose it could have been considered just a little bit un-officerish but it was still a genius idea!

[1.3VStall]

T & B,

You are, of course, referring to the " honkatorium".

[Lima Juliet]

For all those lager drinking mud movers...

http://www.spyflight.co.uk/logos/Gutersloh%20Officers%20honkatorium.jpg

[Spartacan]

That last posting was very, very sick.

[Audax]

Funniest thing I ever saw with the Gutersloh honkatorium was when one of our stalwarts had cause to use the facility but forgot to remove his false teeth which disappeared down the hole. In the ensuing recovery attempt, he managed to partially pull the bowl off the wall and broke the piping which did work and the teeth were recovered. It took some strong persusion to stop him putting his teeth straight back in before some serious cleaning/disinfecting could be carried out.

[1.3VStall]

Audax,

I was there and remember the occasion well. N**t, would you care to pass comment????:D

[Green Flash]

Following an early experience of a few bottles of Der Powerfull Stoff, I made good use of that very piece of equipment and can confirm that one of it's best features were the heaving handles:yuk: Good job I hung on; explosive might be apt if not a little graphic (sorry folks). I'd have been half way to Goerings Room if I'd let go. :eek: Them German chappies do produce some mighty fine brews. :\

[orgASMic]

Ah, MG - the army have 'previous' for removal of useful stuff from Messes once they take over. Someone's bound to come up with (regurgitate?) the story of the 'facility' that used to greet you as you entered the Gents in the Gutersloh OM.

It was still there when I was attached to 1 Regt AAC from 96-98. The Army had been there for 3 or 4 years by then and had not seen fit to remove it so I am not sure what you are driving at.

[Corporal Clott]

Best bar? How about sacking all of the ESS losers that have the current contract and getting a well known bar chain to run our Mess Bars?

Gets my vote...:ok:

http://www.eujacksonville.com/pages/09-06-07/pub_crawl_hooters.jpg

[Wwyvern]

The RAF St Athan OM bar seemingly had been designed by a resident/visiting Canadian Squadron some years before my attendance in 1961. The interior of the bar was like the inside of a log cabin, complete with moose's head hanging on the wall. Alongside the head was a moose's behind, and beneath the tail was a bottle-opener. Very useful for after- hours consumption of crates of beer bought before closing time.

The station test pilot was called Moose, and made sure we made good use of the under-tail attachment. Can't remember his surname, but he had been an instructor at the Hunter OCU at Chivenor during my course.

[Arm out the window]

Best mess accessory that I recall seeing was the padded headboard above the urinals at Aldergrove

A similar concept was once used at the old RAAF CFS ops building at East Sale, Aust, although sadly it didn't survive the move to the newer brick edifice that's there today.

One of the the instructors courses well previous to mine had left a presento board with nicely padded headrests above the urinals, perfect for banging your head on when you'd had enough for one day...

The inscription, as I recall, was "Hit me, but don't sh1t me."

If any of the members of said course are out there reading this, make yourself known!

[brakedwell]

Honda 50's were de rigeur during the 60's in the RAF Khormaksar Officers Mess Jungle Bar. Motocross on the slippery beer soaked tiles required the considerable skill gained from copious amounts of alcohol.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c32/sedgwickjames/General%20Pics/honda-50cc.jpg

[foldingwings]

The only accessory one needs is a snooker cue and a piece of string (after the bar has closed!)

Foldie:ok:

PS. There can be no other competitors worthy in this 'competition'!

[Geehovah]

Knowing you, I can't believe you admitted to that fact Foldie!

[foldingwings]

Not me, gov!! Didn't admit anything just mentioned my view on the best accessory!

Foldie:cool:

PS. I think I got away with that one.

[SirToppamHat]

Pleased to report that there are padded forehead rests above the urinals at Donnington (HQ 11 Sig Bde) Offrs' Mess. The only disappointment being they'd standard heights meaning that the tall and short (moi) couldn't fully benefit. Nice touch though and I now wonder whether they might have been liberated from the 'Light Blue' at some time previously.

STH

[Tinribs]

I recall the teethe looser was Dusty Miller, I met him a few years ago checking out of a Manchester airport hotel.

His wife seemed not to know about the loss, I couldn't help passing on the story

The best I saw was at Guto, the falling beam above the little room upstairs. It still worked in my day 64/84

[30mRad]

"the falling beam above the little room upstairs"

If my history serves me well, then the falling beam dates back to WW2 and Goering. IIRC he had made some quip about how invincible the Luftwaffe were so long as a roof didn't fall on his head (might be para-phrasing considerably there) and the bright minds constructed the contraption for when he paid a visit. I seem to remember being told he took it in good jest.

Wonder if it still works now it's in the hands of the British Army, and would love to know if anyone else recalls the tale better than me (or more accurately!).

[bonajet]

The version in the late 70s was that it was from the days when Goering was stationed there. His party piece when he was up there with a few drunk mates was to say " if I ever tell a lie that beam would bend" whilst reaching down for the little pull handle under the floor boards. I'm sure BEagle was on exchange there before the war and can tell us the real story.......

[brakedwell]

The sixties version is slightly different. Unknown to Goering the dropping beam mechanism was installed by junior officers and the button/lever was pressed in response to his favourite phrase: "If I am telling a lie may the roof fall in". IIRC Gutersloh was the Luftwaffe version of Cranwell at that time.

[30mRad]

To answer my own question (duh :O) some googling has provided the following:

http://baor-locations.co.uk/prbks.aspx (http://baor-locations.co.uk/prbks.aspx)

and

Lying between Minister and Bielefeld, this is a former Luftwaffe
base and its officers' mess (in German days an aircrew mess) has a
distinctive clock tower topped by a low-reaching tiled roof. Just
below this is a small room used as a bar where, it is told, Goering
used to spend social hours, and where he so often said "If I'm telling
a lie may this building fall around my ears" that a beam across
the ceiling was cut in two and a suitable lowering mechanism
installed, so that on his next visit a part of the building did indeed
fall upon the line-shooting field-marshal.

from http://www.flightglobal.com/pdfarchive/view/1959/1959%20-%201923.html (http://www.flightglobal.com/pdfarchive/view/1959/1959%20-%201923.html)

Could be a very useful bar accessory!