Anyone good at HR BS for Jetstar?

[DeltaT]

Couldn't resist posting here for an interesting read by all.
The ad is from the Seek website.

I like this : "...issues rich employment landscape..."



People Manager - Pilots Help shape the future
Strong IR focus
Join the Aviation industry

With a clear strategic agenda and a team of passionate, positive and engaged people, Jetstar is set to continue their success. Operating in a dynamic and complex environment that includes an issues rich employment landscape, the People Manager – Pilots is critical to ensuring the organization will achieve its objectives. A challenging and exciting role that has arisen as a result of a restructure, this opportunity may be the career defining position that you have been seeking.

This senior business partnership role will work closely with a highly skilled, technical client base of approximately 700 across Australia & NZ. With a focus on leveraging support from a matrixed HR function you will deliver broad HR support including workforce planning, recruitment and employment/ industrial relations activities including negotiations, representations, EBA formulation and provision of advice.

This role will suit a flexible, dynamic individual who thrives in ambiguity and enjoys working in a fast paced environment to deliver positive outcomes. You achieve success through your energy, professionalism, attention to detail, ability to develop relationships and overall organised approach considering the interests of all stakeholders. A highly skilled communicator and negotiator, your experience across HR, and IR specialization, will ensure you will hit the ground running and thrive in this high profile and high impact role.

If you are looking for an opportunity to make your mark in an amazing industry & organization, within a progressive and passionate People team and in a challenging, career defining role apply today!

[troppo]

Surprised they didn't use other wanky HR buzz words at the moment like 'iconic'

[gobbledock]

Surprised they didn't use other wanky HR buzz words at the moment like 'iconic'
My favorite HR wankery words are -invigorating, exciting, 'holistic approach', 'core values', spirited, embrace and in JQ's case Boston!

I imagine the job PD would also contain the following:

Must be able to lead a core group of flying Princesses
The successful candidate must own or be linked to several consultancy groups and be prepared to siphon millions for his/her own greed
The successful candidate will be a uni grad/MBA holder with nil life experience or operational experience and be age 25 or under

[mister hilter]

Love this line:
This role will suit a flexible, dynamic individual who thrives in ambiguity
My bold.

Ambiguity: doubtfulness or uncertainty of meaning (from MacQuarie dictionary).
:hmm:
One can only imagine what this means. Why would an HR person need to 'thrive in ambiguity'?

[gobbledock]

One can only imagine what this means. Why would an HR person need to 'thrive in ambiguity'?
For the same reason Government do. The more 'grey' or ambiguous the subject matter is, the less likely they can be pinned on something specific. They also like to use terminology like 'intent', again, that way they they eliminate specifics out of the equation and it is more difficult for those on 'the receiving end' to be pinned or made accountable.
HR are always a smoke and mirror outfit, whatever the organisation.

[DeltaT]

Job PD continued...


The successful candidate must have no knowledge about flying qualifications and what is involved

The successful candidate will believe that past behaviour will be a good indicator for the future, despite the human ability to LEARN and adjust accordingly from past experience. (for when interviewing others)
The successful candidate must be able to relocate to take up the role, even from overseas, with 3 days notice

[Stationair8]

Does that make Jetstar an employer of choice, seems to be the new buzz word amongst Gen Y.

[mattyj]

-An undergraduate degree in psychology or related field.

-Inferiority complex and the desire to spotlight applicants weaknesses and ignore strengths.

[ohallen]

Dont forget have the right to enter NZ and obtain NZ Tax File number and set up a NZ Bank account and be willing to be paid in NZD.

Plus have no ethics, be willing to spin whatever message is dictated and be able to alienate staff when called upon for any deemed reason.

Upside is the bonuses will be HUGE for this short term position.

[Anthill]

DIrty Harry Transferred to Personnel - YouTube

[Ejector]

This is the post of the year on prune :ok:

[DeltaT]

There will be a lump sum payment on joining of $14,000.
The successful candidate with no qualifications will be given another $10,000.
Upon being in the job more than 2yrs you must payback $14,000, this repesents the cost to us of brainwashing you as you have realised what this job now really entails.

[MACH082]

Terms and conditions of employment.

1. You will be required to pay $38,000 for your training.

2. This can be salary sacrificed over 1/3 or 5 year periods.

3. You will not receive your first pay until you have completed your training.

4. Your annual salary of $34,000 NZD will be paid monthly in arrears.

5. An RDO is considered the 12 hours immediately following sign off.

6. You will be required to work shifts up to 16 hours with 8 hours rest between. This is considered worlds best practice.

7. You will be entitled to one period of two consecutive days off every 28 days.

8. You will be able to bid for annual leave against other employees.

9. All major public holidays are required working days and annual leave blocks are unavailable on these dates below executive management.

10. All travel for work purposes will be on Qantas.

11. Annual payrises will be subject to employer discretion.

12. If you resign within the first 3 years, any expense the employer has incurred training you, will be subject to collection.

13. If this is not paid promptly, interest will be charged as calculated by the company allowing for inflation and current indexed amounts.

14. In the event of your death, we reserve the right to exercise claims upon your estate to cover for any losses incurred as a result of you being unavailable to continue with your duties.

15. Any condition of your employment is subject to change at managements discretion without notice.

[Wally Mk2]

...........sheeeez where do I sign up, "the way of the future":ugh:

I guess being old (as I am) means that I had the chance to experience aviation when it was fun, had a future BEFORE the boffins with 'in' words ruined a great job:sad:
'anthill' that's a classic, thanks for adding that, some humor amongst the ugliness of aviation.

Wmk2

[airtags]

all this from the same organisation that likes to keep regulatory, procedural and safety notices to:

'A change on a page'......why bother with factual detail when a nice little orange template will do!

AT :E

[Tidbinbilla]

Feeling rather flippant today:

1. American English spell check was used on more than one occasion;

2. "Synergies" was not used once. Therefore, I consider the ad as bogus :}

TID