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View Full Version : Suggestions on a postcard please..


stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 14:34
The wife's all hormonal this weekend.

Any survival suggestions?

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 14:40
Get a mate to ring you and contrive to be asked to rush away tonight on business.

Book yourself into a hotel with a fine cellar, a good sports bar (to watch Aus/NZ rugby tomorrow morning) and spend the weekend away indulging in vino, cholestrol and whatever else tickles your fancy... (a good book I mean).

You will love your wife all the more for it when you return full of care and concern.

Caco

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 14:56
ahh caco,

closest mate, not nippered up is in throes of separating from/working it out with his long time squeeze (nasty peice of work) though they live together, and i've done my service of listening to the complaints and giving advice to ditch the bitch and doing it again wil probably drive me hormonal..

non drinker and don't really do the whole sports bar thing... unless it's the Sports Illustrated Model jello wrestling display team (live not televised).

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 14:59
options so far..

1. go to the woods out back and size up a suitbale plot for a shallow grave.

problem.. don't who'll be in it, her or me.


2. get some rohypnol.

problem... don't know who for, her or me.

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 15:08
It is a lovely day here in the east of Blighty, if you are into flying, hire a plane and fly wherever your fancy takes you.

Ring her when you get there and tell that the plane sprung a foofy flange but not to worry because the engineer who needs to sign off the work will be available on Monday morning when you will be able to fly back home. Fill your boots with whatever is your fancy miles away from the trauma.

If you don't fly, hire a pilot... (repeat as above)...

I will help you out here stuckgear... ;)

Caco

Capetonian
15th Oct 2011, 15:21
This is why I look forward to my trips away from home! A hotel room, a good book, internet, a couple of beers or a few sips of shiraz, a bit of Thai or Chinese (that's food by the way ......... although ......!)

UniFoxOs
15th Oct 2011, 15:50
You are obviously not an angler or you wouldn't need to ask!

Cheers
UFO

vulcanised
15th Oct 2011, 16:13
size up a suitbale plot for a shallow grave


Remember to bury her face down with her bum protruding above the ground.

Then you'll have somewhere to park your bike.

Krystal n chips
15th Oct 2011, 16:45
Think of this a both a gesture of altruism and also therapy to answer your plea....there again...;):E

https://secure2.labour.org.uk/join/

DX Wombat
15th Oct 2011, 17:47
Get yourself total freedom with one of these:
http://www.caravan2sell.co.uk/productimage/20090326411051caravan%20001.jpg

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 17:58
Get yourself total freedom with one of these:

DX you can't tantalize us like that. What is the key to total freedom?

Caco

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 18:59
KnC,

that's just plain evil !

but i appreciate the thought comrade :ok:

DX,

where would i park it the rest of the month ? :}

Caco,

do you mean where is the key ?


As a side note, i so nearly got busted earlier, when SWMBO walked in when i replying to thread, saying "whatcha doing baby?"

If my body turns up mutilated in a ditch with lil-lets poking from every orifice, you know who did it :ooh:

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 19:08
Caco,

do you where is the key ?

I don't! Is it only me that can't see the image that DX posted? :{

Caco

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 19:13
DX posted a picture of a caravan (sprite) funnily enough just had a towbar fitted to the RR this week.

birrddog
15th Oct 2011, 19:16
All I can say is distance is your friend.

B Fraser
15th Oct 2011, 20:10
Tampons come with fuses for a reason and the most unstable explosive known to science is Femtex :uhoh:

mixture
15th Oct 2011, 21:41
DX Wombat,

There's only one thing caravans are good for...

ZtztZz7A4xA

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 21:45
now it's changed to horny as hell !

:hmm:

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 22:01
nope..

nope.. it's changed again..

wonder if i should get a v dub to work on... maybe a pitts s2 to rebuild :suspect:

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 22:17
I went out into the night with the current Mrs Cacophonix (we have been together 15 years but it never helps to allow them to become too sanguine).

We fought over the mezze, (yes, yes, I know forgive me) discovered we liked each over the main and became bored over pudding. Back home, one bottle of wine down. Happy but sad to be back en route to the sound of beating drums tomorrow night.

Stuckgear, my advice has changed... use this as your guide...

644Ar2ZEp4A

Caco

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 22:30
mezedes, you're talking my language Caco,

next time give me a heads up, we'll leave the women at home and sample the marinatos, loukaniko and haloumi, over a backgammon board and discuss politics, flying and women.

:ok:

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 22:33
Amen stuckgear! :ok:

11Fan
15th Oct 2011, 22:40
Mate and I were consoling each other the other day as both our wives are going through the change.

We were fondly looking back at PMS as "the good old days." :sad:

stuckgear
15th Oct 2011, 22:54
that's to come :sad:

mine's just turned 25 !

Cacophonix
15th Oct 2011, 23:06
Ah 25, the square of a "decent" prime"...

We now understand your conundrum...

Tis truly a temple of love or doom...

NePzqck714U


Caco

DX Wombat
15th Oct 2011, 23:38
Stuckgear, there are plenty of places around the country with caravan storage facilities.
Lots of freedom with a caravan just join the Caravan Club and see all the sites they have all over the UK. There are some lovely ones in Scotland and Wales as well as England. All you have to do is hook up and go.
But if I were you I would avoid the A303 like the plague as there is a virulently anti-caravan faction down there. (It's only because they are jealous.)

mixture
15th Oct 2011, 23:56
there are plenty of places around the country with caravan storage facilities

So let me get this right, you buy a caravan and then you pay someone to store it for you because you are too embarrassed to park it outside your house and/or be seen driving it. :E

Anti-caravan, moi ?

Howard Hughes
16th Oct 2011, 05:23
Get yourself total freedom with one of these:

I'm not sure that being shackled to something gives you 'total freedom', get a kick ass bike instead...:ok:

Capetonian
16th Oct 2011, 06:33
My ex- ran off with my best mate. I still miss him!


15th Oct 2011 23:01
stuckgear nope..

nope.. it's changed again..


15th Oct 2011 22:45
stuckgear
mood swing alert !
now it's changed to horny as hell !

All that in 16 minutes!

stuckgear
16th Oct 2011, 08:39
All that in 16 minutes!


yep it was the emission of a certain noise from my mouth..

.. breathing !

Exascot
16th Oct 2011, 08:54
My ex- ran off with my best mate. I still miss him!

My ex ran off with all my money. I still miss that :{

ExSp33db1rd
16th Oct 2011, 10:24
........This is why I look forward to my trips away from home!..........

But Whilst The Cat's Away, The Mice Do Play.

That was my experience, sadly. Should have stuck a knife in him, I'd have been out of jail by now. Knew the bugger, too.

Lon More
16th Oct 2011, 10:28
All that in 16 minutes!

15 minutes of hich were probably expended on the cigarette afterwards.



Get a shed!

stuckgear
16th Oct 2011, 10:34
15 minutes of hich were probably expended on the cigarette afterwards.



Unfortunately not. The wife works in a cardiological function it was either give up, or continue with GBH of the ears.

Capetonian
17th Oct 2011, 23:27
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/7593647/joke02.bmp

DX Wombat
17th Oct 2011, 23:51
you pay someone to store it for you because you are too embarrassed to park it outside your house and/or be seen driving it.
Not at all. I'm not able to keep mine outside my house as it is a road and I have no drive so I keep it on a special storage site. Many insurance companies also insist on this.