View Full Version : Ah grasshopper!

13th Oct 2011, 11:25
As a boy growing up in the early 70s I was most impressed with the whole martial arts thing (i.e. Bruce Lee, karate, kung fu, judo etc.) and spent many hours poring over manuals obtained from the public library showing the exigencies of the spring hip throw, choke holds and good old fashioned ways of making a fool of one's self while wearing pyjamas...

In truth I never was any good and could never figure out what fig 1.0 meant... making it to brown belt at Judo before girls became far more interesting.

Watching this video brought it all back and gave me the biggest laugh I have had for some time. :O

So, PPRuNers did you follow the way of the dragon?



Doesn't get better or worse than this...


13th Oct 2011, 13:36
Years ago at Loughborough Uni, we had an instuctor who was one of the top karate (Wado Kai) experts in Europe.

One Friday night in Leicester, he got into a fracas with some local youths and, to put it frankly, got the s :mad: t kicked out of him.

It gets better....

Rather than getting away as fast as possible, the guy thinks to himself 'that shouldn't have happened', dusts himself off and chases the youths to have a second go.

And gets the s :mad: t kicked out of him again, only more so.

As for me, I've always relied on a punch-to-the-head technique. :eek: Never seen anyone who can do intricate karate moves when their head is swimming.

Lon More
13th Oct 2011, 13:41
Get in close, a headbut to the nose. swift knee in the stomach as the head goes back then interlinked hands under the chin as it comes forward. If they're still moving after that a kick in the nuts should finish them off.
Failing all this I'd go for the Japanese solution - Toyota carjack.

13th Oct 2011, 15:29
As a teenager, I took some intro karate classes with a girl who had four older brothers.

I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley...

Alloa Akbar
13th Oct 2011, 16:17
I took up Muay Thai as, IMHO it would be more use in a real life situation.. Have to say in all round effectiveness, Krav Maga beats the lot.. although that isn't so much a martial art, just an effective way of damaging people quickly and effectively. :ok:

13th Oct 2011, 23:16
I'n my young days I did a bit of judo, but swapped it for cross-country running.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

tony draper
13th Oct 2011, 23:19
As my old Sensei once told me, Grasshopper a .45 beats kung fu any day of the week.:E
Best Martial Arts duel ever filumed.
One suspects that is a .38 though

Pinky the pilot
14th Oct 2011, 07:10
Did Wing Chung Kung Fu for several years a long time ago. My first ever 'full on up and at 'em' sparring fight was against a 16 yr old Chinese Girl.:eek:

She kicked the s:mad:t out of me!:{

Mike X
14th Oct 2011, 18:05
Yup, don't bring a knife to a gunfight.

Had a mature grasshopper in the garden a week ago. Rare feature here. Same with chameleons. Can't find them anywhere.

16th Oct 2011, 13:59
er340790, I generally agree with everything you said, but this guy seems to be an exception:


17th Oct 2011, 05:38
May not be the same now but at one time participants in martial arts disciplines had to take an oath that they wouldn't use it outside the sporting arena, think I might have had my fingers crossed for that one!

In the military they gave us lessons in 'Unarmed Combat', which is a short course in how to fight dirty and win, when we showed some proficiency in that we got the second part, how to fight someone who has learned how to fight dirty. The first real fracas I was ever involved in started and ended, (for me), with a bottle over the back of the head! Never did find anything in the book about that one!

Clare Prop
17th Oct 2011, 12:14
Monty Python Self Defence Class - YouTube

17th Oct 2011, 12:40
The way to wisdom and self-discovery lies closer to home.....

Ecky-Thump - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ecky-Thump)


Clare Prop
17th Oct 2011, 13:53
I met t'grand master and eee, he were grand!

17th Oct 2011, 20:53
The Goodies- Ecky Thump - YouTube