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Lon More
19th Sep 2011, 05:15
In another thread, now locked, there was a discussion starting up on the disposal of bodies.
The FSL, as usual, listed what I've always considered one of the best, pigs. I've seen what they van do, not much left except the false teeth. Added bonus is the bacon sarnie several months later.

Anyone else got some good ideas?

OFSO
19th Sep 2011, 06:24
A slight drift but I remember some crime writer stating that every successful murder starts with planning on how the remains will be disposed of. That's before you do The Act. Pigs sounds OK, but you always have the problems of the bones - our wild boar here also leave such traces in gobling everything else up.

The guys who found a final resting place for Jimmy Hoffa ddid a good job, didn't they ?

handsfree
19th Sep 2011, 06:31
A bath of hydrofluoric acid usually does it for me. :hmm:

Makes a mess of the plumbing though.

tony draper
19th Sep 2011, 07:19
A stout hessian sack a length of rope a few stone of scrap iron,(if the pikies have left any in your bailwick) a small boat,the Ogan is deep and wide and full of critter who will finish the job for you.
:E

Checkboard
19th Sep 2011, 07:23
Boat, Ocean, chains, large rock. :suspect:

tony draper
19th Sep 2011, 07:47
Even our once working rivers will surfice now since they changed them from places where thousands of people earned a living into f***kin scenery, they seldon suffer the attentions of a dredger now,dredgers were the cause of a few stretched necks in times past.
:)

green granite
19th Sep 2011, 07:51
The biggest problem nowadays is avoiding being seen moving the body about prior to disposal, too many security cameras.

no doubt this tread will get locked and left to decompose.

tony draper
19th Sep 2011, 08:17
No need for haste,the chest freezer is a veritable boon for the practicioner of homicide,remember panic can get your collar felt, take your time,think.
:rolleyes:

handsfree
19th Sep 2011, 08:45
the chest freezer is a veritable boon

That's alright for the chest Mr D but what about the arms, legs etc. :rolleyes:

sisemen
19th Sep 2011, 08:55
Pick a suitable spot on the A1 that has just been upgraded and whack her (oops - a freudian slip) the body into the central reservation. Guaranteed no further road works until you are long past caring.

UniFoxOs
19th Sep 2011, 09:57
What TD and Checkers said, except if you live in the middle of the country and don't have easy access to a boat, it is really handy to know where a road bridge crosses a very deep reservoir. It just so happens that I do....

UFO

Carry0nLuggage
19th Sep 2011, 10:40
Didn't this come up some years ago? The one I liked :suspect: just involved rolling the body up in some chicken wire with some ballast and dropping it in the sea. The crabs and others have a good feed. Eventually the wire rusts away and the tide disperses the remains.

Selsey crabs seem strangely well fed. :eek: :E

Storminnorm
19th Sep 2011, 11:02
My (LONG time ago) next door neighbour actually supplied
ACID to John George Haigh(?) the acid bath murderer.
Haigh told him it was for an electro-plating job he had.

tony draper
19th Sep 2011, 11:24
Acid is not 100% Mr Norm, some hard parts can remain undissolved, generally nails and teeth in men, hearts in womenfolk.
:rolleyes:

radeng
19th Sep 2011, 11:27
False finger nails in Haigh's case, as well as some bone fragments.

G-CPTN
19th Sep 2011, 11:35
Pick a suitable spot on the A1 that has just been upgraded and whack her (oops - a freudian slip) the body into the central reservation. Guaranteed no further road works until you are long past caring.
Didn't work for this:- BBC NEWS | UK | England | Bristol | Jewellery 'key' in M5 bones case (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/8296122.stm)

OFSO
19th Sep 2011, 11:45
The Bay of Roses has slow currents that roll anything put in at the north end - town of Roses - down to the south end - L'Escala - in about a year, where they get washed up on the beach. I suspect other areas have similar currents, and I don't think dropping whole bodies in at a time is particularly safe. Unless you go down to the south of Spain where bodies being washed up ashore are sadly a frequent sight.

However, one things occurs to me: if Fred West had done only one person and buried him/her under the patio, would he ever have been found out ?

Lon More
19th Sep 2011, 11:53
the acid bath murderer
Wouldn't work in my plastic bath tub :sad:

sisemen
19th Sep 2011, 15:23
Didn't work for this


A workman clearing vegetation on the slip road off the northbound M5 found a number of bones, including a skull and pelvis.
Other remains were found partially buried nearby.


Proves my point really. Whoever did this one didn't even bother to put it deep - most of the remains scattered about the surface. And it wasn't picked up for 13 years FFS! If they had taken the trouble to go down a couple of feet it would still be a mystery.

Anyway, it's all academic. That particular old trout and I are now divorced so the intellectual idea is up for grabs. In any event there are lots more undiscovered places where I now live :E

green granite
19th Sep 2011, 15:28
The Bay of Roses has slow currents that roll anything put in at the north end - town of Roses - down to the south end - L'Escala - in about a year, where they get washed up on the beach. I suspect other areas have similar currents, and I don't think dropping whole bodies in at a time is particularly safe

Hmmmmm I think you'd need to put it in a net, wrap it in chains and attach an anchor with say 5 fathoms of chain, that'd solve it.

Storminnorm
19th Sep 2011, 16:07
Ref Haigh. Had he taken a bit more care in disposing of the
remains of his victims no one would have known anything.
It always comes down to paying attention to the fine details.
They hung him in Lewes jail I think.

Krystal n chips
19th Sep 2011, 16:21
There seem to be an awful lot of people on here who are more than a little au fait with various methods of body disposal.....just an observation..cough !

" I've seen what they van do " ...these would be Dutch pigs then Lon ?....:D

Lon More
19th Sep 2011, 16:52
these would be Dutch pigs then Lon
Yep; property of Herz van Rental.

ross_M
19th Sep 2011, 17:11
What about sticking in a wee piece of titanium and blaming it on NASA?

G-CPTN
19th Sep 2011, 17:46
BBC News - Andrew Lindo trial: murder accused 'was devoted father' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-14969423)

Though his defence brief seems to be earning his money!

racedo
19th Sep 2011, 19:22
Job centre is a good place in certain parts of the country, no chance of it ever been found.

PukinDog
19th Sep 2011, 19:29
For the landlocked and/or boatless, a wood chipper aimed into a mucky barnyard on a stormy night does the trick.

ENFP
19th Sep 2011, 19:30
Well who could know better than 'Bricktop' the London Gangsta from the movie Snatch. Here he is on fine form. Pigs it is!

Warning, strong language !

Snatch - Brick Top warns about Pig Farmers - YouTube

sisemen
20th Sep 2011, 00:37
Definition of nemesis - "A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent - personified in this case by a 'orrible c.... ie, me."

Beautiful. Sounds just as good backwards :E

RedhillPhil
20th Sep 2011, 08:33
How about...
do the deed in the bath so that the blood can be washed away(keeping the cold tap running all night should totally flush/dilute anything liquid away).
Now dismember said body into manageable parts say, head, arms, upper and lower legs, detachable guts, upper and lower torso. Pack said parts into garden rubbish bags, then into more garden rubbish bags, then finally another garden rubbish bag so each "portion" is triple wrapped.
Into the boot of the car and off to the local amenity dump.
It might just work............

tony draper
20th Sep 2011, 09:10
Tiz a lot easier and much less messy if the subject has dwelled in a chest freezer for a week,a good hacksaw and a packet of new blades,still do it in the bath though.
:)

Carry0nLuggage
20th Sep 2011, 09:15
Job centre is a good place in certain parts of the country, no chance of it ever been found. racedo are you suggesting that you recruit someone to do the job for you?

Fareastdriver
20th Sep 2011, 10:31
Stck the body in the boot of a Mercedes convertable and leave it in Tottenham with the keys in. It's a good way to dispose of nuclear waste too.

Wokkafans
20th Sep 2011, 10:36
RHP - you couldn't make it easier for the police :eek:

Dismembering the body in the bath would leave traces all over the place - potential problems would be:

Blood/tissue traces around the bath fittings - despite how well you tried to clean up these would be easily picked up by techniques such as PCR linky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polymerase_chain_reaction)

Minute bone fragments would also dispersed by aerosol from your hacksaw, again these are easily picked up with techniques like PCR. Larger fragments or body tissue would possibly lodge out of sight in the plumbing, for example trapped in hair down the plug hole just waiting for plod to fish out.

Blood aerosol generated during the dismembering process spreading around the bathroom would be a major problem.

Sorry but you'll need a Plan B

WF :ok:

PS - a grave digger once told me the best place would be at the bottom of a grave being prepared for burial - a couple of extra feet dug out at the bottom and who would know :eek:

Noah Zark.
20th Sep 2011, 12:16
Once upon a time, when we used to have steelworks, it was relatively easy to get in and out of some of them in a not entirely bona fide manner, as witness many illicit comings and going to/from dens of iniquity, pubic houses, or even the local pub, often after hours.
It has been known for relatively large (and you wouldn't believe how large!) objects to de-materialise through the walls, fences, etc.
That being established, it would also have been quite easy to smuggle a carcass in to such an establishment, and if they were all similar to the one where I spent my formative years in industry, it would have been a doddle to get said stiff into a charging basket (a huge bucket-like device, with opening clam-shell type doors in the bottom) which was hung from a crane, and was filled with scrap metal by an overhead crane (the driver of which was situated at the opposite end of the scrap gantry from the basket, and therefore could not see directly down into it) and then dropped into an electric arc furnace at the appropriate time.
A loud clang, a flash and a bang, a puff of smoke, and gone! Perfic! :ok:

tony draper
20th Sep 2011, 12:22
Best one I read somewhere.
Lawyer "Are you sure that Mr Smith was dead at this time"?
Dr "yes"
Lawyer "How can you be so sure"?
Dr "His brain was in a jar on my desk"
:rolleyes:

tony draper
20th Sep 2011, 12:23
oops! another out of sequence post.:uhoh:

Blacksheep
20th Sep 2011, 12:29
False finger nails in Haigh's case, as well as some bone fragments.


Defence Lawyer: "Oh! And I suppose you just happened upon these gallstones, lying there in the yard?"
Professor Simpson: "Not at all. I was looking for them. The victim was a large lady and would inevitably have had gallstones."
Defence Lawyer: "Er, No further questions..."

ExSp33db1rd
20th Sep 2011, 21:47
Extract from the local newspaper this morning ......

Ashes to ashes, dust to juice

Burial and cremation are the usual ways of dealing with human remains but now there's the juicer.

A Florida funeral home has introduced body liquefaction Resomation (from the Greek "resoma" meaning "rebirth of the human body") as an environmentally friendly alternative. The stainless steel machine can dissolve a corpse in just under three hours and the brownish, syrupy liquid can be recycled back into the ecosystem by being applied to a memorial garden or forest or simply put into the sewerage system, according to a BBC report.

Maybe you could find one on eBay ?

Cacophonix
20th Sep 2011, 21:54
Don't use arsenic! It persists for years and might very well introduce you to large fellahs called Leroy in a prison not of your choice!

Caco

racedo
20th Sep 2011, 22:30
racedo are you suggesting that you recruit someone to do the job for you?

More like the one where the Fire Brigade were called to a fire at a job centre is a certain city, they kept asking for directions from the great unwashed but nobody knew where it was or believe it even existed :)

UniFoxOs
21st Sep 2011, 06:29
RHP - you couldn't make it easier for the police

Dismembering the body in the bath would leave traces all over the place - potential problems would be:

WF - depends who it is - if it is your local neighourhood burglar, one assumes plod won't know where to come looking - he is hardly likely to have left a message with them on the lines of "I'm going to burgle UFO's tonight, if I don't check in by 0200 come and look for me". OTOH if it's 'er indoors, the MIL, rich uncle or similar you are going to be the prime suspect and what you said applies.

Cheers
UFO

handsfree
21st Sep 2011, 06:34
Why bother with all the mess of disposal.
Simply hire a butler. They're always the one that gets their collar felt by plod.

It's well known, it's the butler wot done it guv.

Blacksheep
21st Sep 2011, 06:59
Lawyer "How can you be so sure"?
Dr "His brain was in a jar on my desk"
The cross examination continued...

Lawyer: "But he could nevertheless have been alive at the time?"
Docter: "It is possible that he could be alive and practicising law."

criticalmass
21st Sep 2011, 08:38
Drop the body into a soaking-pit at a steelworks. It evaporates!

Vercingetorix
21st Sep 2011, 12:22
Captain Robert Nairac
An SAS officer working the 'Murder Triangle' of Armagh, Newry, Crossmaglen was murdered by the boyos, read as the followers of Maguinness, Adams, etc.
Believed to be that the body was disposed of in a pig farm on the south side of the North/South border. Never found.

Pigs are the way!

goudie
21st Sep 2011, 12:46
Pigs are the way!


If you want to came back as a bacon buttie!

There was an infamous murder case, in Essex, back in the '70's where there was strong evidence that the body had been disposed of in a pig farm.

handsfree
21st Sep 2011, 12:47
Have teeth will travel.
Good rates given for repeat jobs

http://i829.photobucket.com/albums/zz216/poodlejumpy/pig.jpg

vulcanised
21st Sep 2011, 14:41
I watched a film recently where one of the main players committed suicide by pulling a plastic bag over his head and taping the opening to his throat.

Made me wonder whether it's as easy and painless as it looked, with oxygen gradually being exhausted, resulting in unconciousness followed by death.

Or have I missed something?

Storminnorm
21st Sep 2011, 14:46
Whatever you do, DON'T give it a try!!!!!

MagnusP
21st Sep 2011, 14:51
But if you do, remember the orange wedge and the amyl nitrate.

tony draper
21st Sep 2011, 15:17
Documentry on a while back fronted by Micheal Portillo of all people about the kindest way to execute someone(personally one thinks the death penalty should hurt :E)anyway the conclusion reached was carbon monoxide inhalation(from a cylinder of said gas not a car exhaust)was the most pleasent, apparently breathing it invokes a great feeling of euphoria right up to the moment the chap in the hood with the scythe taps you on the shoulder.
:rolleyes:

UniFoxOs
21st Sep 2011, 17:47
Well, maybe it's quite simple....

Bodies of 35 people dumped in Mexican port city (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/official-says-35-bodies-found-mexican-city-022435276.html;_ylt=AlW1Govi99A45N0PDkPAxW3bfMl_;_ylu=X3oDMT Rma2xwNHI3BGNjb2RlA3ZzaGFyZWFnMnVwcmVzdARtaXQDTmV3cyBmb3IgeW 91BHBrZwM2NTVjZGI0Yi05NzlkLTMxYWQtODM3Ni1jODE4MTI5NzBlYjEEcG 9zAzUEc2VjA25ld3NfZm9yX3lvdQR2ZXIDMjg4YjFmYzAtZTQxNC0xMWUwLW FmNWUtOThjMTY3MmViNzA3;_ylg=X3oDMTJyOWV1cWV1BGludGwDZ2IEbGFu ZwNlbi1nYgRwc3RhaWQDOGVjNDM0ZGMtZmM2MS0zOGRkLWJkYzEtZWE3ODdk MWJkZDdlBHBzdGNhdAN1awRwdANzdG9yeXBhZ2UEdGVzdAM-;_ylv=3)

OllyBeak
22nd Sep 2011, 01:05
There was a fairly well documented case here a while ago. The night watchman on a building site in Racecourse Road disappeared.

Then reappeared in various curry dishes at a cafe just down the street.

Apparently nobody complained when the recipe was made known in the Straits Times.

Think I'll stick to roast lamb - at least you can vaguely see what sort of animal it once was.

Tasty, tasty, very very tasty...

Krystal n chips
22nd Sep 2011, 05:47
" Documentry on a while back fronted by Micheal Portillo of all people about the kindest way to execute someone "

Unfortunately, the presenter, having sourced the best method, duly failed to personally demonstrate the proof of concept........one would have become a ( short term ) convert to reality tv had he done so....:E

Cacophonix
22nd Sep 2011, 06:09
What is with this this outbreak of larceny, murderous intent and planned evasion of discovery and retribution here on JB. Arsenic in apples, rohypnol in the lobsters?

What next?

Caco

green granite
22nd Sep 2011, 07:03
We're working out how to get rid of all the AGW alarmists Caco :p :)

Cacophonix
22nd Sep 2011, 07:19
Green Granite

I should be perfectly safe then! :p;)

Caco

green granite
22nd Sep 2011, 07:49
:):):)........................

sisemen
22nd Sep 2011, 09:24
Mr Wu's pigs were certainly the preferred method of disposing of bodies by Al Swearengen in Deadwood.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d3/Mrwu.jpg/250px-Mrwu.jpg MR WU

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/deadwood-al-toasts.jpgAL SWEARENGEN

RedhillPhil
22nd Sep 2011, 09:26
So are the porkers able to crunch their way through the skellington as well?

El Grifo
22nd Sep 2011, 18:22
hearts in womenfolk

Pearls before swine Drapsey, pearls before swine :ok:

ENFP
22nd Sep 2011, 18:30
RHP

So are the porkers able to crunch their way through the skellington as well?

Watch the video at post 28 :ok:

Sallyann1234
22nd Sep 2011, 21:35
Chucking the evidence down here
BBC News - Bodmin mine shaft collapses leaving 700ft deep hole (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-15024570)
would dispose of it very nicely.

Carry0nLuggage
22nd Sep 2011, 21:58
We are going to need expert advice from mining engineers on how we move forward

I would have thought moving smartly backwards was more appropriate!

G-CPTN
22nd Sep 2011, 22:01
There was a housing estate somewhere in Britain that had substantial mining subsidence - I often wondered if they filled the mineshafts with millions of tons of concrete?

tony draper
22nd Sep 2011, 22:18
Underneath the Towers is riddled wi mine works,a whole street just a few hundred yards away had to be evacuated and pulled down in the late fifties because of subcidence,I remember it well because me and me gang of urchins featured on the local telly news,when they started excavating the huge holes for the underground Metro stations,they found mine workings dating back hundreds of years nobody knew anything about all over the shop,
:uhoh:

Checkboard
23rd Sep 2011, 00:24
The rangers at Yellowstone national park (in the USA) have a manual depicting how to wire up dynamite sticks to an animal carcass, in order to "dispose" of it quickly in an emergency ... :uhoh:

G-CPTN
23rd Sep 2011, 00:27
I think somebody tried that with a rotting whale carcass!

8Vmnq5dBF7Y

corsair
23rd Sep 2011, 00:37
There was a BA pilot who murdered his unfortunate wife and dropped her in a lake thinking that was the end. Later she was found complete with evidence, including an aviation book. He was unlucky in that her body didn't fall into the bottomless pit of the lake but on a ledge which some divers came across. Which being fresh water was well preserved.

He came close to the perfect crime but karma saw to it that he was punished.

I imagine he's out now. Just hope ghosts are real and he's bothered by one.









t

Krystal n chips
23rd Sep 2011, 04:57
There was a BA pilot who murdered his unfortunate wife


He was ex BOAC actually, who was to become ex Air Europe as a result of the above surfacing....as it where. The irony, regarding this thread, is that his name is the same as another term for pigs.

We had, ahem " an exchange of views" several times during his AE days...sycophancy not being one of my more evident traits.

Cpt_Pugwash
23rd Sep 2011, 08:13
Corsair may be confusing this case (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391965/BA-pilot-killed-estranged-wife-wanted-win-divorce-battle-costs-says-boyfriend.html) with this earlier case (http://www.lakestay.co.uk/was.htm) to which Knc refers.