On a lighter note - 'Flying Songs'

[Dengue_Dude]

Has anyone any 'military' songs, especially flying? More often than not, they're a touche cynical or sardonic, but that goes with the territory. I'll start.

This was written when I served on RAF Hercules.

For the nostalgic amongst us who remember crud and custard Fat Albert, this song was written around the time the new centre wing section was added (Mod 29). The aircraft were then painted grey and green during the process.

For the really sad, who remember, at the time we had an ongoing problem with New York Air Brake hydraulic pumps which had a penchant for breaking up – these were replaced with Vickers pumps which had a temperature activated run around system, unfortunately could result in no hyd pressure – an aircraft wasn’t allowed to have all Vickers pumps if memory serves.

This (slightly cynical) song was written to the melody Greensleeves (what else?). Enjoy

GreenWings (Mod 29 embodied)
I volunteered for Hercules
For some airline training and more Duty Free
Now that I'm deafened and totally stunned
I wish I had opted for Coastal Command

Chorus
Off to Gander or Gutersloh
Where is it this time?
Do you need to know?
Are they Land Rovers, or are they crates
Or sixty two camouflaged walking freight?

The captain he sits in the left hand seat
Knowing that captains are cream of the fleet
This is the highlight of his career
But no VC10 scraper and a thousand a year

The Co-pilot sulks in a miserable mood
The loady's just told him we've run out of food
To becoming a Captain the Co is quite keen
Instead of a green-suited eating machine

Chorus

The Nav he sits and he grafts all the time
Plotting three star fixes on imaginary lines
"Inertial" nav, he's a boon to the crew
When asked,"Where are we Nav?" says "I haven't a clue"

The Engineer sits by the central console
And nobody knows he does nothing at all
Once every hour he concocts a fuel state
But this only proves that the bastard’s awake

The Loadmaster's characterised by long arms
Gert great big muscles and bugger all charm
His loading is great but his directions are poor
The forklift's just buckled the Ramp and the door

Chorus

Three orange lights! Pumps OFF at the rush
Christ we're stuck here four days with an Hydraulic flush
But we carry four boxes and two rubber wheels
A green towing arm- and all the wrong seals

Ops won’t you please inform the wife
To help minimise the marital strife
Four days at fifty five dollars Co please
I need it to pay my solicitors fees.

Chorus

[Wholigan]

You'll find a few here:

http://www.pprune.org/military-aircrew/39434-traditional-squadron-songs.html

[ArthurR]

Dengue_Dude (http://www.pprune.org/members/87123-dengue_dude) there is a few here:

The Shackleton song [Archive] - PPRuNe Forums (http://www.pprune.org/archive/index.php/t-160245.html)

[Dengue_Dude]

I'd forgotten the Shackleton one!

Are 'we' still writing things like this? I really hope so . . .

[oxenos]

Just an old fashioned Avro with old fashioned wings,
and a fuselage tattered and torn.
Old fashioned engines that splutter and roar when the
strain of a long trip is done.
Though she wears no fine fabric or chromium fittings,
there is one thing that makes her divine.
She's safe and she's sound, 'cos she won't leave the ground,
that overweight Avro of mine.

[GoCo]

The best of the lot: The A25 Song
They say in the Air Force a landing's OK
If the pilot gets out and can still walk away,
But in the Fleet Air Arm the prospect is grim
If the landing's piss-poor and the pilot can't swim.

cho: Cracking show, I'm alive, But I still have to render my A25.

I fly for a living and not just for fun,
I'm not very anxious to hack down a Hun,
And as for deck landings at night in the dark,
As I told Wings this morning,'Blow that for a lark.'

When the batsman gives "lower" I always go higher,
I drift o'er to starboard and prang my Seafire.
The boys in the "Goofers" all think that I'm green,
But I get a commission from Supermarine.

They gave me a Barra to beat up the Fleet,
I shot up the Rodney and Nelson a treat,
I forgot the high mast that sticks out from Formid,
And a seat in the "Goofers" was worth fifty quid.

I thought I was coming in high enough
but I was fifty feet up when the batsman gave "cut",
And loud in my earphones the sweet angels sang:
"'Float, float, foat, float, float, float, float, float, float, float, PRANG!"

When you come o'er the round-down and see Wings' frown
You can safely assume that your hook isn't down.
A dirty great barrier looms up in front,
And you hear Wings shout, "Switch off your engine, you fool!"

The Wings of St Merryn in a "Reliant" one day
Set out for Trelliga for tea for to stay,
But as he got there his engine cut out,
And now all you hear is Wings' painful shout:

I swing down the deck in my Martlet Mark Four,
Loud in my ear-'oles the Cyclone's smooth roar:
"Chuff-clank-clank, chuff-clank-clank, chuff-clank-clank-clink!'
Away wing on pom-pom, away life in Drink

I flew over Jay-pan in my F.O. 2
Taking some pictures, admiring the view,
When up came the flack and I turned round about,
And that's why I sit in my dinghy and shout:

I came back to England and much to my wrath
They gave me some dual in an old Tiger Moth,
Which does fifty-five knots or something fantastic,
Which is bloody good-o on some string and elastic.

One night in the 'Wardroom a subby named Bash,
An awkward young bastard with a ginger moustache,
Said, "Chaps I must drown all my sorrows in gin,
I've been twelve hours ashore and I can't get it in."

I sat in the starter awaiting the kick,
Amusing myself by rotating the stick.
Down came the green flag, the plane gave a cough,
"Gor Blimey," said 'Wings'," he has tossed himself off."

Now in the Luftwaffe they never complain
Since Goering invented the pilotless plane.
They sit in the crew room and sing all the day,
And this is the song that they sing so they say:

The moral of this story is easy to see,
A Fleet Air Arm pilot you never should be,
But stay on the shore and get two rings or three
And go out every night on the piss down at Lee.

Cracking show, I'm alive, But I still have to render my A25.

[Wwyvern]

After golf a couple of weeks ago, one of our group said something that made me recollect an RAF song that was not cynical nor sardonic, but downright rude. My friend of fighter pilot days grinned and looked at me, and said, "One white one, one black one and one with a bit of ....on.", and he and I fell about laughing.

We couldn't explain it to our colleagues who were retired doctors, civil servants, entertainers, bankers and accountants. I wonder if they have such a sub-culture.

[Monty77]

Glory Camlough Mountain.

'I was feeling pretty stupid cos I didn't have a gun'.

True story of a Wessex crew in Northern Ireland (when everyone was really, really wanky) who got stuck VMC on top of a hill as the fog came rolling in down below in the valley.

Initial euphoria subsided as they realised they had left their gats (Ed: this is street talk for guns, from the Latin, Gatlingus, meaning guns) at home.

No gat, no hope.

Luckily, the pilots in question went on to high rank, and here, in 2011, we have it.

Looking good.

[lsh]

SH Songbook


Recently re-released in FRC format, absolutely BRILLIANT idea!
Even has "ANA" and an "Amendments" form - you can email the authors with changes.

lsh
:E

[fantom]

It was forbidden to sing 'The Flag' in RAFG which is why it was heard every mess nite.

On 208, however:

'When there's a war and we are called for
to chase the Go**y hordes back to their land...'

Best ever.

[AARON O'DICKYDIDO]

;)

"One white one, one black one and one with a bit of ....on.",

Where do you think my nom de plume came from?

Aaron.

[fantom]

Her knees, of course.

[Pontius Navigator]

Wwvern, it is black before white.

One black one, one white one « This Particularly Rapid, Unintelligible Patter (http://jjbunn.wordpress.com/2004/05/20/one-black-one-one-white-one/)

[Union Jack]

Oh dear, it's time to dust off the "Fleet Air Arm Songbook" yet again ....:ok:

Jack

[John Botwood]

An incident occurred on 269 Squadron at Christmas Island in September 1958.
After a Shack took off with a jury-strut left in one wheel assembly; another was scrambled for a visual inspection of the locked undercarriage, in the rush the crew of the second Shack left both their jury-struts in and so the Detachment was treated to the sight of two aircraft circling the field looking like lame ducks The following song was being sung that evening to the tune of "Island in the Sun".


Shack taxy out from the little hut,
in one wheel was a jury-strut,
Shack take-off into the morning sky,
one wheel hanging, way on high

C h o r u s
Oh Shackleton over the sea,
given to me by the Air Ministry
all my days I will sit and gaze
at your undercarriage that will not raise

Next Shack take-off into the blue,
with undercarriage locked down too
Crew all think it a fuse gone phut,
but everyone know its a jury-strut
(Chorus)

I see Shack going round and round,
Skipper wishing he was on the ground.
When making sure that the door is shut,
always look for the jury-strut
(Chorus)

JohnB

[oldpinger]

There was a thread a while back with these on.. Found it- "Traditional Squadron Songs", Closed back in 2006:{

Another couple from the A25

At pinging the Sea King is remarkably sound
It’s wings don’t go out they go round and around
Backwards and forwards and sideways they go
And they don’t give a f$#k if there balls hanging low

CHORUS

They taught me to fly in a Chipmunk T10
I`d fly round and round and then once round again
The mood of the bird made the landing a farce
So I'd go round again and fly straight up my arse

CHORUS

From fixed wing to choppers I quickly moved on
To find it quite safe with no airspeed clocked on
But if your descent is too fast for the flow
Then it's chop chop chop chop and away you will go

CHORUS

And so front line service I finally saw
The pilots were good and I viewed them with awe
But found out the maths were just too much for me
And ‘F%$k it’said Wings some more stores in the sea

CHORUS

I led a formation in LFA2
And lower and lower and lower we flew
Forgot all the wires and the tips of the trees
And a pipe back at base, ‘Let us pray for all three’

CHORUS

There's a bloke an our ship now that everyone knows
Where he gets his rings from Christ only knows
He stands up in Flyco and he rants and shouts
And gobs off about things he knows f%$k all about

CHORUS

They say in the Air Force a missions OK
If you drop all your bombs and can still fly away
But in the Fleet Air Arm they call you a s$#%
If you drop 21 and get only 1 hit

CHORUS

The moral of this story is quite plain to see
A Fleet Air Arm pilot you never should be
But stay on the shore and get two rings or more
And go out on the piss every night with a w###

[Dengue_Dude]

I must admit I smiled when I saw your name.

I had written another Herk song to the melody of Sloop John B called 'En Route Tales'.

It was also reminiscent of going u/s (unserviceable, not American) in the Caribbean (particularly the Nassau Beach Hotel).

Anyone know what melody the A25 song is set to?

[Wholigan]

There was a thread a while back with these on.. Found it- "Traditional Squadron Songs", Closed back in 2006


Hmmm - there seems to be an echo in here from post number 2. ;)

[Dengue_Dude]

Hmmm - there seems to be an echo in here from post number 2. http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/wink2.gif

Sorry, just had to do it :E

[Old-Duffer]

110 Sqn was one of four RAF sqns flying the Whirlwind 10 in Borneo during Confrontation in the 1960s. This ditty relates their time there.

Nanga Gaat was inherited from the RN, hence the Anchor Inn and the Tokyo was in downtown Kuching.

SATU RATUS SEPULOH

(The 110 Squadron Song – Origins & Lyricist Unknown. Sung to the tune “The Times They Are A’changin”)

We bring you a tale of One Hundred and Ten
Of weird whirly birds and far weirder men
The Far East is where these strange deeds were all done
With the aircrew all rapidly ageing
But the strife is all over, the battles are done
And the times they are a changing

T’was at Nanga Gaat that we first found our fame
But now we are told we won't go there again
No more happy nights in the old Anchor Inn
Where we drank till the darkness was fading
Then flew all the day before drinking again
But the times they are a changing

The market place knew down in old Kuching
And many a night that they would all hear us sing
Of Simangang, Sibu, Nanga Gaat and such
And how we all like them so very much
But now we are moving up to Labuan
How the times they are a changing

The Tokyo our custom is now bereft
All our young maidens we have now left
No more nights spent down on good drinking sprees
Our times spent dodging the redcaps
For now we are once more civilised chaps
Gosh the times they are a changing


So live with your memories my merry men
Friar Tuck’s saahnie boxes you’ll ne’re see again
For banished abroad from this fair land are we
Across t’ other side of the ocean
But given the chance would come back again
But the times they are a’ changing


Old-Duffer

[Dengue_Dude]

That song is definitely doable. We need the melodies in each case as failing that, they're just poems.

Marvellous OD, I was living at RAF Tengah (dad was the SWO) during the whole of Confrontation.

There was a huge intinerant population there including 3 RAAF Sabres which came to reinforce the fighter protection - all 3 aquaplaned on the runway, two into the barrier and one into a monsoon drain.

A great help indeed as it happened on a Sunday and most of the station was called out to rescue the 'reinforcements'. Happy days

[foldingwings]

They are all here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Buccaneer-Songbook-Anthology-Drinking-Songs/dp/B0016988E4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1316539882&sr=8-1

And more besides those invented on the Buccaneer too!

Foldie:ooh:

[soddim]

The Unkindest Defence Cut of All

I’m the last man in the Air Force
I’ve an office in MOD
And a copy of Queen’s regulations
Which only apply to me
I can post myself to Leuchars
And detach me from there to Kinloss
Or send me on courses to Drayton
Then cancel the lot – I’m the boss

I’m the last man left in the Air Force
I suppose you imagine it’s great
To be master of all you survey, but
I tell you it’s difficult, mate
I inspected three units last Thursday
As CinC acting of Strike,
Then I cleaned out the bogs at Brize Norton
And repaired Saxa Vord’s station bike

I’m the last man left in the Air Force,
My wife says I’m never at home,
When I’m not flying kites, I’m at Manston,
Laying gallons and gallons of foam
Or I’m on my marine craft off Plymouth
Shooting flares at the crowd on the Hoe
Or I’m Orderly Corporal at Luqa,
It’s an interesting life but all go

I’m the last man left in the Air Force
I’m ADC to the Queen
I’m the duty clerk at St Mawgan,
I’m the RAF rugby team
Tomorrow I’m painting the Guardroom
And air testing several planes,
The day after that I’m in London
To preach at St Clement Danes

I’m the last man left in the Air Force
And I’m due to go out before long
There’s been no talk of any replacement
And I won’t even let me sign on
I hope to enjoy my retirement
I’ve put up a fairly good show,
But I won’t cut myself off entirely,
There’s always reunions, you know

Looks like he made a few more cuts too!

[Robert Cooper]

Here is one from the USAAF, circa 1946 I believe...

The Air Corps Lament

(Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Mine eyes have seen the days of men who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at death and lived for nothing but to fly
But now those hearts are grounded and those days are long gone
The force is shot to hell!


CHORUS: Glory...flying regulations, Have them read at every station, Crucify the man who breaks one, The force is shot to hell!


My bones have felt their pounding throb, a hundred thousand strong
A mighty airborne legion sent to right the deadly wrong
But now it's only memory, it only lives in song

The force is shot to hell!


I have seen them in the T-bolts when their eyes were dancing flame

I've seen their screaming power dives that blasted Goering's name

But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame

Their spirit's shot to hell!


They flew B-26's through a living hell of flak

And bloody, dying pilots gave their lives to bring them back

But now they all play ping pong in the operations shack

Their technique's gone to hell!


Yes, the lordly Flying Fortress and the Liberator too

Once wrote the doom of Germany with contrails in the blue

But now the skies are empty and our planes are wet with dew

And we can't fly for hell!


One day I buzzed an airfield with another happy chap

We flew a hot formation with his wingtip in my lap

But there's a new directive and we'll have no more of that

Or you both will burn in hell!


Hap Arnold built a fighting team that sang a fighting song

About the wild blue yonder in the days when men were strong

But now we're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong

The force is shot to hell!


FINAL CHORUS: Glory! No more regulations!
Rip them down at every station!
Ground the guy that tries to make one!
AND LET US FLY LIKE HELL!

Bob C

[olddog]

A Couple of lesser known Maritime Favorites.

We are the Search and Rescue,
No Bl**dy good are we,
We Fly our clapped out Nimrods,
Around the Irish Sea.

But if we sight your dinghy.
We'll shout with all our might.
Row to the shore you Bast**rds!
F**k you jack, we're all right!!


AND

Roaring down the runway
Throttles open wide
See the mighty Shackleton
Sway from side to side

Airborne again
Without a blip
It's just one more abortive trip!
But we're pressing on regardless
For the Wingco's AFC

Out here in MAJUNGA
Happy as can be
The First Navs found a Nympho
But he won't share her with me!

Airborne again
Je ne sais quoi!
It's just one more goddam Misar
But we're pressing on regardless
For the Wingco's AFC

Does anyone have a copy of the 42 Sqn Song Book - SOMF? I foolishly lent mine to someone and never got it back. I have happy memories of loud raucous sing songs before the PC brigade spoiled everything!!

[Dengue_Dude]

before the PC brigade spoiled everything!!

Oh yes, they have a LOT to answer for. So many do-gooders worrying about offending people who, quite often, don't take any offense in the first place!!

That's why songs like these are good news, they bypass being PC, good sense and good for promotion too. Do you remember 'promotion' it was a phenomenon whereas people changed ranks when the people above moved on or left.

Since there's only one person left in the air force (see above) it's all irrelevant :hmm:

[Finningley Boy]

Sung to the tune of "My Bonny lies over the ocean"

One night as I lay on my pillow, my Batman upwoke me and said
I say there are ships in the channel, but there's bags of black cloud overhead!

Chorus

Bring Back oh bring back, oh bring back my Bomber and me and me
Bring back oh bring back, oh bring back my bomber and me.

So I climbed in my old trusty bomber, and took off with ships on my mind
and I searched the whole of the channel, but not damn ship could I find

Bring back oh bring back, oh bring back my bomber and me and me.
bring back oh bring back, oh bring back my bomber and me

So I turned round and headed for England and turned my thoughts back to my bed.
The controller said how can you miss them and I leave you to guess what I said.

Bring back oh bring back etc etc

Can't remember a couple of the complete verses so I've improvised just a tad.:ok:

FB:)

[Robert Cooper]

The liquor was spilt on the bar room floor,
And the Mess was closed for the night,
When out of his hole came a little brown mouse,
And sat in the pale moonlight.

He licked up the liquor from the bar room floor,
And back on his haunches he sat,
And all night long you could here him roar,
BRING ON THE BLOODY CAT!

Bob C

[Old-Duffer]

A copy of the Buccaneer Song Book turned up yesterday, on a raft from South America.

It's not just songs but a mine of interesting info and photos.

Ten quid well spent!

Old Duffer

[Kitsune]

I count a certain ginger haired Master Eng on 47Sqn's rendition of 'A long strong black sausage up your sister's cat's arsehole twice nightly' as one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life....:D

[LowObservable]

The Frigin' Flyin' Fort - YouTube

Tune by Stephen Foster...

Also, I only just realized that the "roaring down the runway" song is to the tune of Lilli Marlene.

[chopd95]

Anyone there fom the Canberra TT days? Tarrant Rushton and St Mawgan - there was a song?

[26er]

Sixty years ago some of the QFIs who had flown Lancs used to sing a song based on "Old King Cole" which went something like this. Sorry but can't remember all of it.

Our wingco was a merry old soul, a merry old soul was he
He called for his kites in the middle of the night and he called for his pilots three
Every pilot was a fine type, a very fine type was he. There's none so fair as can compare with the boys of ??????
"We don't give two fu**s" said the pilots-
(repeat Our wingco etc) called for his navigators
"fifteen miles off track" said the navigators
Called for his engineers
"we've got ten pounds boost"said the engineers
Called for his bomb-aimers
"left, left, steady dummy run" said the bomb-aimers
Called for his signallers
"dah diddy dah diddy dah" went the signallers
Called for his tail gunners
"corkscrew corkscrew left" said the tailgunners

There was a mid upper gunner too but I can't remember what he did.

Perhaps somebody can fill in the blanks.

[LowObservable]

My Dad knew a version of that song, the chorus ending "There's none so fair as can compare with the Royal Artillery".

[foldingwings]

A copy of the Buccaneer Song Book turned up yesterday, on a raft from South America.

It's not just songs but a mine of interesting info and photos.

Ten quid well spent!

Glad you enjoyed it, OD!

Foldie:ok:

[Secretsooty]

I've just looked through all the links to other threads and I'm surprised this one hasn't appeared.....

Nimrod Song (as sung by many a liney in the Hilton!)

Hey there Nimrod groundcrew,
we've got a song, a song to sing to.
Hey there Nimrod aircrew,
we're gonna sing this song about you!

CHORUS
Go left go left (go left go left),
Go left right left (go left right left)
Go left go right go pick up the step,
go left go right go le-e-eft.

Hey there pilot man.
fly this plane as smooth as you can
If it's rough when you're up front,
we'll be sick and call you a c*nt!

CHORUS

Hey there engineer,
tell us what we want to hear.
If you come back and say it's ****...
you'll come back and you'll fix it!

CHORUS

Hey there navigator,
just a failed aviator.
IN's down, SEC1 SEC2,
what the **** you gonna do?

CHORUS

Hey there AEO,
kermit from the muppet show.
He's in charge of all the siggy's,
animals and little piggy's!

CHORUS

Hey there siggy boy,
mars bars and tonka toys.
You can ram it up your bum,
'cos you are only nimrod scum

CHORUS.



There may have been other verses, but the memory was distorted by alcohol. They used to serve two types of alcohol in the Hilton, circa 1985, Yellow or Brown!!!! Happy days.

[Wwyvern]

In the early 70s, an ex-heavy AEO joined the SH fleet, and brought with him a song. Not about flying but about extracarricular activity. I think it went:-

My Rhubarb refuses to rise,
To its natural size, market gardening prize.
I eat spinach all the day long,
Hoping, praying that it will make me big and strong,
Coz my rhubard refuses to rise,
And my baby don't love me, my baby don't love me,
My baby don't love me no mo-o-ore.
Someone make my rhubarb rise, rhubarb rise'
Barb barb a rab ab'
BARB RISE

More of a chant than a song until near to the end.

[Wwyvern]

In the early 70s, an ex-heavy AEO joined the SH fleet, and brought with him a song. Not about flying but about extracurricular activity. I think it went:-

My Rhubarb refuses to rise,
To its natural size, market gardening prize.
I eat spinach all the day long,
Hoping, praying that it will make me big and strong,
Coz my rhubard refuses to rise,
And my baby don't love me, my baby don't love me,
My baby don't love me no mo-o-ore.
Someone make my rhubarb rise, rhubarb rise'
Barb barb a rab ab'
BARB RISE

More of a chant than a song until near to the end.