PDA

View Full Version : Pilot's Shed Needs Restoration - Will You Help?


Tankertrashnav
15th Sep 2011, 12:53
The pilot in question, of course, is wartime Gladiator & Hurricane pilot Roald Dahl. The shed in question is where he wrote most of his books, and apparently it's in a bit of a state. The good news is that it can be restored for posterity for the very modest sum of one million smackers (yes £1 million!) The author's grand-daughter Sophie Dahl has come on the radio and said that the family are going to come up with half of the cash, but she is launching an appeal for the other half mil.

Leaving aside the question of how it can ever cost £1m to renovate a garden shed, you have to admire the bare-faced cheek of the Dahl family, who with the royalties from all those books still pouring in, still think it's ok to hold out the begging bowl for this crackpot project.

I for one have placed them at the bottom of my list of deserving charities, and hope that not a penny of public money (lottery heritage fund, or whatever) is handed over. Will any of you lot be reaching for your chequebooks?

(Oh btw, my garage roof's leaking, any of you got a few quid to spare?)

MagnusP
15th Sep 2011, 12:57
OI! TTN! I mentioned my shed requirements before you got in with yer garage! :ok:

Apparently it's to restore and relocate the shed. FFS, how many family homes could you build for that dosh?

BTW, "bare-faced cheek" is an appropriate description for Ms Dahl. Remember her Opium perfume advert?

Storminnorm
15th Sep 2011, 13:24
I've just had to pay out MYSELF to get MY shed roof mended.

I curse the passage of time that has caused me to be too bl**dy
knackered to do the damn roof myself.
I only hope I won't still be around when it needs doing again in
about 25 years time.
There again, you never know.

But the Memsahib has banned me from climbing ladders.
Even small ones.

Lon More
15th Sep 2011, 13:57
Looks like Miz Dahl's been eating too many pies to do it herself

Storminnorm
15th Sep 2011, 13:59
It would feel just like a half-inflated rubber dinghy I think.

Blacksheep
15th Sep 2011, 14:16
Old Roald would have enjoyed this little lark. I'm just thinking of the fine shed that I could build and kit out for half a million quid - even though there's absolutely no doubt that Mrs BS would grab at least half of it for a new kitchen. :)

MadsDad
15th Sep 2011, 14:49
In the version I read the dosh is needed to relocate the contents of the shed to a museum. The shed will then be allowed to disintegrate in its own good time.

They can have the contents of my shed for, oh £5k would do it. And I'll relocate it for them.

Not a charity I shall be subscribing too I think.

Storminnorm
15th Sep 2011, 14:49
That's the NEXT project to have funds lavished on it!!!

The NEW kitchen!!!

I'll be poverty stricken before long.

Blacksheep
15th Sep 2011, 14:59
the dosh is needed to relocate the contents of the shed to a museum. Huh! My Polish friend will do the job with his white van for £500. Its just a wing chair and a drawing board and a bit of other old junk furniture. They cleared my Mam and Dad's old house for £40 but of course, no-one would go to a museum to see it.

Hang on a minute! Has anybody been to Beamish? There's some of Granny Arnold's furniture up there.

rmcb
15th Sep 2011, 15:12
But the Memsahib has banned me from climbing ladders

You'll probably find this is the case here - Mr. Cullum needs a ladder to mount the kerb, let alone the missus and her shed. Lucky bastard.

stuckgear
15th Sep 2011, 15:15
http://23.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kvhkvwh5GB1qzf94so1_400.gif

Tankertrashnav
15th Sep 2011, 15:44
stuckgear - brilliant :ok:

11Fan
15th Sep 2011, 15:52
They're not even planning on moving the shed, just the trash inside it. :hmm:

From the article.

The £500,000 will also cover the cost of conserving the hut's contents and designing a space for it in the museum. The exterior of the 1950s brick structure will remain in the orchard but the interior will be moved. It has been left as it was when Dahl was alive, down to the screwed up manuscripts in the wastepaper basket and the cigarette butts in the ashtray.

Read more: Dahl shed plea falls like a brick (http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/celebrity/dahl-shed-plea-falls-like-a-brick-20110915-1kbxv.html#ixzz1Y2LhjMaZ)

2 sheds
15th Sep 2011, 16:13
If they build another shed for posterity, they could call him Roald 'Two Sheds' Dahl. And he actually wrote his books in the shed.

Monty Python - Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson - YouTube

Amelia Foster, Director of the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre, said: “Roald Dahl’s writing hut was his creative hub and his sanctuary. Until now, only a lucky few have been able to experience and be inspired by the intensely personal writing space he created for himself.

2 s

Ancient Observer
15th Sep 2011, 16:38
My wife told me about this story, and I am not sure that I believed her. However, now it's on pprune so it must be true.

There is a great British word for the Dahl family . It is called chiselling. Chiselling means things that I ought not write in pprune.

I had to pay for my own ferking shed roof recently. They can pay for theirs.

Once they've done that, let me have the million quid and I'll build my own new shed.

mixture
15th Sep 2011, 17:09
down to the screwed up manuscripts in the wastepaper basket and the cigarette butts in the ashtray

Has anyone asked the Tate Modern ?

Sounds like it's just the sort of thing they'd hand over a few million quid for.

Would go well alongside the can of human excrement ("artist" Piero Manzoni) and Urinals ("artist" Marcel Duchamp).

There's even a precedent for cigarette butts, they bought some off Mr Hirst (part of his Trinity - Pharmacology, Physiology, Pathology work apparently).

They could do with some more waste paper, as the cleaner threw out the last lot (transparent bin liner filled with waste paper, part of a piece by the artist Gustav Metzger .... their cleaner put it on the skip thinking it was rubbish :D).

Um... lifting...
15th Sep 2011, 19:13
Which begs the question, since all art is derivative, anyway... did the cleaner try to flog the skip back to the museum? Probably could retire on the proceeds.

stuckgear
15th Sep 2011, 19:18
Which begs the question, since all art is derivative, anyway... did the cleaner try to flog the skip back to the museum? Probably could retire on the proceeds. 15th Sep 2011 18:09Would go well alongside the can of human excrement ("artist" Piero Manzoni)

Is modern art sh1t ?


The Triumph of Shit - artnet Magazine (http://www.artnet.com/magazineus/features/kuspit/kuspit9-11-08.asp)



…this indifferentiation is inherent to the sadistic-anal phase, where all objects, erotogenic zones, ideals, etc. are pulverized by the alimentary canal and homogenized into identical particles, the faeces. -- Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel, Creativity and Perversion

11Fan
15th Sep 2011, 19:20
...as the cleaner threw out the last lot (transparent bin liner filled with waste paper, part of a piece by the artist Gustav Metzger .... their cleaner put it on the skip thinking it was rubbish

On the subject of art....

http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm107/APC11Fan/Scan-1.jpg

Storminnorm
15th Sep 2011, 19:23
My shed has now been cleaned out totally.
The Memsahib even threw out a couple of kitchen chairs
that I had grown up with from being a baby.
I didn't know about them being chucked out.
We're not talking at the moment.
I'm not very happy.

I just checked in to have a peek at Pprune, and I SEEM to have been
BANNED from the Ttrabb pages for a day for SOME reason.
Does anyone have any idea WHY?
It said something about being abusive. But I have NO idea what they're
talking about. ABUSIVE ?? Moi???
I'll sign off for now anyway.

mixture
15th Sep 2011, 19:37
Which begs the question, since all art is derivative, anyway... did the cleaner try to flog the skip back to the museum? Probably could retire on the proceeds.

Very good point. Obviously the cleaner wasn't quite on the ball !

However, what actually happened was that the artist was invited back to put another bag in its place.

Not only that, but the Tate wrote out a compensation cheque to him for an undisclosed sum for the "damage caused".

Ironically, the exhibit was entitled Recreation Of First Public Demonstration Of Auto-Destructive Art. The invention of "Auto-destructive" art being attributed to said artist who defines the concept as "paintings, sculptures and constructions having a finite existence - after which they will be destroyed".

gingernut
15th Sep 2011, 20:01
the sun alway's shines on the righteous:)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v617/gingernut123/DSC_0023.jpg

hoofie
16th Sep 2011, 01:46
I've just read a recent book about him, mainly focusing on his time in the US as part of the organisation British Security Coordination, whose main task was to steer the US into supporting the was against Hitler.

He was a interesting man; a terror for the ladies yet touched by tragedy and accident in his family life and of course the writing later on his life made him incredibly successfuly. [Note : He also shares credit for inventing the "Wade-Dahl-Till (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wade-Dahl-Till_valve)" shunt - they agreed to forgo royalties for the design].

Even considering all this, I fail to see how it will cost half a million quid to move the CONTENTS of the shed to be museum; it's not as if it will be taken down brick and brick and moved. I know a lot of his royalties are plowed back into his museum but as others have said, the phrase "chiselling" comes to mind.

onetrack
16th Sep 2011, 02:15
If someone could give me Miss Dahls contact details, I'm sure I'll be able to do the whole job for 900,000 smackeroos... and even have enough left over to cover an opening ceremony for the new display. :suspect:

FFS!! A 1.8M x 2.1M shed?? WTF is inside it, that will cost £0.5M to shift the contents, and set it up again?? I mean to say, my shed is pretty cluttered, but I reckon myself and a few mates could empty it and relocate it, in a day.

It's obvious that the crowd involved in the quoting have seen Miss Dahl coming, and have had a substantial number of hangers-on jump on the bandwagon, when it came to quoting. These people would make the MOD cost overrun figures look modest by comparison.

He was a "terror for the ladies"?? Ahh... but he was a fighter pilot, though, wasn't he!! Woof! Woof!, as Cap'n Flashheart would say...

rh200
16th Sep 2011, 04:26
Looking like Sophie, she could be a bit more imaginative in the way she ask's for donations, might get a more passionate response:E well at least from one half of the population.

Howard Hughes
16th Sep 2011, 07:35
It would feel just like a half-inflated rubber dinghy I think.
Ms Dahl? :ooh:

PS: Sheds are so last century, we modern men have 'man caves'...:ok:

waveskimmer
17th Sep 2011, 18:43
50 p any help?

B Fraser
17th Sep 2011, 19:26
If the millionairess Ms Dahl or her multi-millionaire husband won't pay for it out of the loose change bottle then she could always EARN the money by writing a book.

Charlie And The Tin Of Ronseal would be a good title.

:mad:

Hobo
17th Sep 2011, 19:56
They have had at least 30 years to market this as the 'Roald Dahl shed experience' and charge willing punters, if any, an admission fee to view it. Apart from giving them an indication of the level of interest, this money could have been used to subsequently house the contents elswhere.

mustpost
17th Sep 2011, 20:35
So, after 29 posts, universal approval for the grant then? All in favour...

(Oh sorry, that was the Edinburgh trams project)

Parapunter
17th Sep 2011, 20:45
Absolutely, unconditionally loved the books. Really loved them. Just saying.:)

G-CPTN
17th Sep 2011, 21:25
I'd give her one.

Just saying . . .

Tankertrashnav
17th Sep 2011, 22:12
Trouble is, G-CPTN, at my age (and possibly yours?), one is all I'd manage :(

overun
17th Sep 2011, 23:30
Ah yes, Miss Dahl. Fuller figured and determinedly proud of it if l remember correctly. lt is amazing what the smell of money can do.

Krystal n chips
18th Sep 2011, 06:44
:hmm: I hate to sound churlish here.....well not really...:E....but it would be interesting if Ms Dahl could kindly provide a breakdown of the costs that amount...seemingly...to a mere £500k for the contents of said shed...and one notes it's only the bits of junk inside that are being shifted...just so a grateful nation would be fully aware you understand......and I liked the bit about, erm, "designing space" in the Museum...... that would be a few tables, some lighting and a few " follow the arrows signs" then ?....

hoofie
20th Sep 2011, 08:30
Krystal n Chips - you haven't allowed for the 200k payment to the "artistic consultants" on the project. :mad:

Museums are so passe; it must be presented as an "experience" to borrow from Hobo's post.

Standard Noise
20th Sep 2011, 10:18
I for one have placed them at the bottom of my list of deserving charities

Not sure it would reach my list of 'run of the mill' charities never mind 'deserving' charities.

So what's the threat here then? If the general public (most of whom don't have or earn a fortune, unlike the Dahl family) don't cough up, then they let said shed and it's contents rot away? And this should worry us how? **** the lot of them, gouging b4stards!

I've just read this on the BBC website
Amelia Foster, from the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre, said.......
"It does seem like a lot of money," Ms Foster told the BBC.
"But we're not just moving it, we're conserving it - so that is, of necessity, an expensive business.

Oh, so moving it is cheap but it's the conserving that costs all that money!? Have these people never heard of a hoover and feather duster ffs?

Ancient Observer
20th Sep 2011, 10:43
If all that loot is for conservation, and assuming that they use the same conservers as the NT, the annual rate for a conservationist in that trade is about £25,000 per annum. A million quid is 40 years worth of conservation person-years.
Or, 39 person years of conservers, and 25k to the Removal firm.

Dad, do you know this piano is on my foot? No, son, you hum it and I'll play it.