View Full Version : You travel by air ? You are a criminal !

14th Sep 2011, 18:38
Was watching BBC last night, some program about a "new" TV camera which can read blood vessels under the skin, can tell (as a journalist would put it) if you are lying or guilty of this and that, "will be very useful for dealing with criminals" and then - wait for it - it will soon be entering trials at a large UK airport, scanning passengers.
Right ! Travel by air, you're a criminal.

14th Sep 2011, 19:50
Criminals travel by air, too . . .

14th Sep 2011, 20:34
Wouldn't a better test area be the Expenses office in Parliment ?

tony draper
14th Sep 2011, 21:21
If it was the same itwem I watched,the kit was being punted as a Lie Detector,twere a bit mickey mouse,combining the output of a normal video camera and a IR camera feeding it through a puter and somehow being able to tell someone in front of same was spinning a yarn,load of old bollix if you ask me,typical of the sad state of science in the UK,tiz more about getting your face on the telly and attracting funding I think.
There is a good reason Lie Detectors evidence is inadmissable in courts in the UK,they do not work.

14th Sep 2011, 22:02
Sorry Drapes, but the webcam version now focussed on your face says you are lying.


14th Sep 2011, 22:03
Bugger, rumbled.


tony draper
14th Sep 2011, 22:09
Being a seventh dan black belt lying bastard I reckon I could fool any lie detector,frinstance should I turn up at the pearly gates with cloven hoofs horns and a forked tail I reckon I could talk my way in no probs.
"I been working undercover your Saintship"

15th Sep 2011, 03:32
I'm not a really good liar so I could well imagine meself going
through a security check with some tartish Asian hot piece of
crumpet with a face scanner checking me over.... :E

Excuse me captain are you staring at my breasts?
- No (beeeeeeeeeeeeep!)

15th Sep 2011, 15:19

If your imaginary tartish Asian hot piece of crumpet said such a thing to you instead of lying, and getting caught out, simply respond:

"Your breasts were staring at me. Shame on you."

Um, for this American type, what exactly is a crumpet? I know of some hot Asian pieces of a** though. Is it the same?

15th Sep 2011, 16:42
Come to that, why do you charming American chappies refer to a "piece of tail" ? Not to mention, the "beaver" thingy.

15th Sep 2011, 16:59
This particular piece of kit got a test on R4 Material World today.

It was slow, inaccurate and inconclusive was the impression I got. Bound to have mi££ions spent on it then.

Ancient Observer
15th Sep 2011, 17:03
Surely this needs to be tested out.

Who deserves to test it?

Politicians, of course.

15th Sep 2011, 17:43
Who deserves to test it?

Politicians, of course.

What good would that be?

After all, you can always tell when a politician is lying, his lips move.

16th Sep 2011, 03:49
Um, for this American type, what exactly is a crumpet?

Crumpet - highly sexually desirable female. From the English
"crumpet".....a nice warm bakery delectable that needs to be
toasted and buttered then devoured greedily.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzEQh54mIn561GcxlmPw9nXJS1o7Jt4dwDihDzN6U 4hLo5CSFhUA http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQK8bviwTyG7FcXynq0t7juF9SlmOCPI7YwDZuXISv 1AX81rYqUbA

tony draper
16th Sep 2011, 06:28
The old low tech ways of lie detecting were the best.:E

16th Sep 2011, 06:49
I was always slightly amused (or should that be bemused) by the green visa waiver card that, as a UK citizen, you had to fill in as a passenger when visiting the USA. Not only did it question your war crime status but suggested that you might reasonably be questioned about your potential for moral turpitude. They clearly understand their presidents and the flying public there. ;)


16th Sep 2011, 08:46
Caco - it must have been very useful tracking down honest terrorists (oxymoron) though.

Imagine: "Bugger, they've asked me if I'm a terrorist - never thought of that one, best I tick the box!!"

16th Sep 2011, 09:08
Poor old Cutbert Simson - caught smoking in the bogs after take off.

16th Sep 2011, 10:17
Absolutely love the phrase "Hung, drawn and quartered". Use it regularly to describe what needs to be done to anyone who causes me grief. Don't think many Aussies really understand it though. Always liked the idea of sticking someones head on a spike near the entrance to the Tower of London as well.

tony draper
16th Sep 2011, 11:02
Yer but Helf and Safety insist the Heads wear Hard Hats now.:uhoh: