View Full Version : Muppet tourists!!!!!!!!!!!

6th Sep 2011, 22:22
This has been reported in many of the papers.
I suspect it to be true.

God help us all!:ugh::ugh::ugh::rolleyes::rolleyes::ugh::ugh::ugh:

Tourist complains about sight of fish in harbour

Most holiday makers taking a stroll around a working harbour might expect to see the odd fish.

But when David Copp came across a fishing trawler moored in Ilfracombe Harbour he took great offence and complained about the “disgusting” smell.

The 46-year-old was outraged that his children, aged seven and nine, had been forced to endure the sight of 12 crates of dead fish and crabs, piled up on the quayside.

He said the ordeal had left them “quite distressed” and demanded to know why the harbourmaster was not more considerate to tourists.

“There were flies flying around and the smell was awful,” he said. “The ship was just sat there not doing anything, and there were 12 crates of dead crabs and fish just lying there covered in flies.

“It’s not the sort of thing you want to see on holiday, there was a real stench.

“My children were quite distressed by it. These people should be a bit more considerate to the holidaymakers."

Mr Copp called Ilfracombe harbourmaster Rob Lawson to complain about the smell that had emanated from The Lady of Lundy trawler before calling the North Devon Journal to air his woes.

Mr Lawson tried to explain that fishermen depended on the daily catch for their livelihoods and that it was a common site on a working quayside.

“He was very upset that he had come across the boxes of fish and thought it was entirely inappropriate and not a good sight or smell,” he said.

“I explained the workings of the harbour and that it was a working quay and that while it was not ideal, sometimes this happened.

“But he didn’t calm down, he went to the local newspaper and then when they printed his complaints, he came back to me to see what I had to say.”

Mr Lawson admitted that it was quite unusual to have a working harbour with public access.

But he added: “This is generally considered an asset because visitors can get a really good feel for how the industry works, they can enjoy the whole experience.

"I told this chap that you shouldn't take your children to a harbour if that is how they react to dead fish."

Mr Copp is understood to have been on a two-week family holiday in the popular north Devon tourist resort when he lodged his complaint, which attracted disbelief from locals.

One said: “Ridiculous. Does he think all his food comes in packets? What did he expect to see at a working harbour?”

Tony Rutherford, the managing director of Bideford Fisheries said "Seeing us in action is often considered a tourist attraction in these parts."

Lon More
6th Sep 2011, 22:25
he'd better not take the kids to a farm next week.

6th Sep 2011, 22:35
Or down the Reeperbahn.

6th Sep 2011, 22:35
he'd better not take the kids to a farm next week.Or the local abattoir....


6th Sep 2011, 22:39
Stupid questions asked on a cruise ship :

"Does the crew sleep on board?"

"How far above sea level are we?"

"Is the island surrounded by water?"

"Are all Caribbean islands the same size?"

"How does the captain know which port to go to?"

"Can we get off in the Panama Canal?"

"Does the ship generate its own electricity?"

"Does the elevator go up as well as down?"

"Why is the sauna so hot?"

"Are there two seetings at the midnight buffet?"

"Do we have to stay up until midnight to change our clocks?"

"Does the chef cook himself?"

"What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?"

"How many fjords to the dollar?"

"What time's the 2 o'clock tour?"

"Where's the bus for the walking tour?"

"Can you see the equator from the deck?"

"Does the ship dock in the middle of town?"

"I'm married, but can I come to the single's party?"

"How many knots does the ship go to the gallon?"

"Does the island float?"

"Do you send the laundry ashore?"

"Do these stairs go up as well as down?"

"Why is it my 3-year old can wear shorts but I can't?"

"Do we have to eat dinner at both seatings?"

"I know that ships often serve smoked salmon, but I am a non-smoker"

"Can the iced tea be served hot?"

"Can you please change this spoon for a fork? I've already got five spoons."

"Why can't the late-night show be in the morning?"

"Do we have to leave the ship to go on the tour?"

"Does the helicopter tour leave from the upper deck?"

"Will we have time to take the shore excursion?"

"If I don't buy a shore excursion, am I allowed off in port?"

"Are the entertainers paid?"

"Why aren't the dancers fully dressed?"

"How do we know which photos are ours?"

"Will the ship wait for the tour buses to come back?"

"Will I get wet if I go snorkeling?"

"Is the doctor qualified?"

"Who's driving the ship if the captain is at the cocktail party?"

"Does the sun always rise on the left side of the ship?"

"Is trapshooting always held outside?"

"Should I put my luggage ourside the cabin before or after I go to sleep?"

"Does the outside cabin mean it's outside the ship?"

"Is that the same moon we see at home?"

"Why did the Greeks build so many ruins?"

"Windsor Castle is beautiful, but why did they build it so close to the airport?"

"Are the glaciers always there?"

"Where is the good shopping in Antarctica?"

"Was the fish caught this morning by the crew?"

"Can you tell me what time the volcano will erupt? I want to be sure to take a photograph."

Passenger: "What is caviar?"
Waiter: "Fish eggs, sir"
Passenger: "In that case, I'll have two, over-easy!"

6th Sep 2011, 22:45
I'm trying to walk the South West Cost Path before I die, and I can vouch that the view of Ilfracombe Harbour from the North Easterly Side of the Coast Path (somewhere near "The Great Hangman") is splendid.

Mr Copp's view's may well have been taken out of context. The harbour is at it's love'liest in the Autumn, and probably less smelly too.

Great fishing spot to.

tony draper
6th Sep 2011, 22:52
We seriously need to think about sterilising a lot of people walking about our island,the older one get the more one leans toward eugenics.:rolleyes:

6th Sep 2011, 22:55
these people are also at liberty to vote. :(

Noah Zark.
6th Sep 2011, 23:19
But, seriously, it's bloody frightening, it really is! :{:ugh:

Just remembered! I went on a cruise myself at the end of August, during which we had the opportunity to pod round the ruins of Pompei.
The guide spoke very good English,and was very knowledgeable on the place, and made the entire event very enjoyable.
Then came the moment the muppet struck. The guide was showing our group what had been the bakery, with the ovens, etc., and two huge flour grinding wheels made from lava rock.
The muppet then asked the guide (and he was deadly serious) if that's how they made lava bread!

I repeat my earlier statement!

6th Sep 2011, 23:22
We seriously need to think about sterilising a lot of people walking about our island,the older one get the more one leans toward eugenics

We need to keep a few - if only for experimental purposes and the occasional laugh!

7th Sep 2011, 02:20
“There were flies flying..."
Could be why they're called flies.

7th Sep 2011, 02:33
"I'm married, but can I come to the single's party?"

Perfectly reasonable question. I might well be asking the same one in a few weeks time. ;)

7th Sep 2011, 03:10
Passenger on Med cruise: Where's the toilet please?
Crew: Port side sir.
Passenger: I can't wait till then!

Hat, coat...

Krystal n chips
7th Sep 2011, 06:15
A loose connection, but, on the subject of muppets and tourists.....and in this case, a complete and utter ( anglo saxon term for fornication and humour )..here's another.......:ugh:

Cheltenham man charged after allegedly driving up Snowdon | This is Gloucestershire (http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/Cheltenham-man-charged-allegedly-driving-Snowdon/story-13274705-detail/story.html)

Alas, Mr Copp is no different from those who decide that living in the countryside is supah!....but then complain about the, erm, aroma and noise induced by, erm, farming and wildlife.....:ugh:

7th Sep 2011, 07:00
Or down the Reeperbahn.

Went there the other day. Full of giggling retired people, wandering in tight groups and believing they were doing something very nasty. Looked more Teletubbies than Muppets, though. They, not me. I was disguised as a Sexy Senior Citizen.

7th Sep 2011, 07:19
Many of the village fountains here have clear signs saying "Eau non potable".

It has become a bit of a sport watching how many tourists and cyclists take a good swig from the spouts. :yuk:

7th Sep 2011, 07:20
No matter where you are, you never miss tourists until they stop coming.

True, however if they just want to send their money, that is fine too!

7th Sep 2011, 07:22
Modern life where animals aren't killed for us to eat but appear as prepacked 'bits' in the supermarket. Anyone recall the story of Tesco banning NZ sheep farmers from using sheep dogs to round sheep up as they need to be 'more considerate' New Zealand shepherds stop using dogs as stresses lambs - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/agriculture/farming/5100025/New-Zealand-shepherds-stop-using-dogs-as-stresses-lambs.html)

Have a read of the comments in the original story, there are some corkers Tourist complains about sight of fish in harbour - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/8743065/Tourist-complains-about-sight-of-fish-in-harbour.html)
"Dear Mr. Findus,
I wish to complain about a packet of your fish fingers that I recently purchased.Firstly I was disappointed to find that the packet contained sixteen fingers but absolutely no thumbs,also I was disgusted to find out that this product is made from the dead bodies of marine animals that were actually caught at a place called the coast which I am told is very near the sea.This should be pointed out in large letters on the packet so that people are aware of what they are buying.
Yours sincerely, David Copp."

"Vanessa and myself were strolling through a non urban bit of land - I believe the locals call it "the countryside" and we came across an open air prison, well more of a stockade really. There were several large fellow mammals enclosed (I think they were called caws or cows) - well I find accents outside of London so unintelligible, anyway they were ,well, excreting, you know, defacating on the green fence to fence carpet they had been provided with. The stench was overpowering. Just imagine how long the cleaning staff are going to take to clean it all up. Of course we have complained to our MEP I´m sure this is not allowed in the EU."

"Dear President Sarkozy,
On a recent trip to your capital city, Paris, I and my children were shocked and disgusted to see a giant metal tower sticking right up in the middle of it. This, coming after our shock and disgust at seeing Stonehenge spoiled by a massive pile of ruddy great stones is simply too much. We are now off for what I hope is a pleasant family holiday in Ilfracombe.

Yours faithfully,
David Copp."

7th Sep 2011, 07:27
Twas one's observation that many normally intelligent persons, once in shorts, flipflops and gaudy shirt became infantalised, leaving their cerebellums back home and the results would be as in Mr Cape's post :p I'm sure a lot of 'tourists' would be happier staying close to home and familiarity. As soon as things are different they become insecure/agitated and act up. The very reason one likes travel and exploring is because things are different, vive la difference!. However, the world is quickly becoming homogenised thanks in no small part to the internet wot we're using 'ere. Still, as has been mentioned, the tourists and their money are soon missed when gone.


7th Sep 2011, 07:37
Its the kids I feel sorry for, they will get some stick at school because of their dads idiocy.

7th Sep 2011, 07:54
Twas one's observation that many normally intelligent persons, once in shorts, flipflops and gaudy shirt became infantalised, leaving their cerebellums back home and the results would be as in Mr Cape's post

Too true, Jack. SWMBO, a supposedly intelligent woman, first channel tunnel trip (by coach), on being allowed out of the coach to stand in the railway carriage - "Will we be able to see the fishes through those windows?"

Cue coachload of mates taking the p1ss for the rest of the day.


7th Sep 2011, 11:15
This may be a cultural problem, but our UK cruise director on a 'Carnivore' US cruise liner could not resist teasing some passengers by telling them they may have trouble re entering the USA because there was 'a ban on importing nuts and fruits'. I thought it was funny but there were complaints.;)

7th Sep 2011, 11:16
And conversely.....I (being the tourist), was discussing with a New York Hotel Waitress, the long time it takes to repair the potholes in my home town (Colchester, Essex), despite it being founded by the Romans, who were well known for their excellent and straight roads. She immediately added - 'also, don't forget about those enormous Pyramids they built as well.....!'

When the Channel Tunnel was about to open back in '94, I was discussing at the time with a (supposedly) intelligent acquaintaince about the forthcoming convenience of the Eurostar through train service from London to Paris. He immediately said 'but, surely you will still have to change train at Calais since the French railways are built to a different gauge...?!'
(For you trainspotters - the track gauge is the same although to be fair, the loading gauge (i.e., length/breadth/height of the trains) is slightly larger on the Continent of Europe.)

7th Sep 2011, 12:16
the track gauge is the same although to be fair, the loading gauge (i.e., length/breadth/height of the trains) is slightly larger on the Continent of Europe

Except for Russia (4' 11 5/6''), Ireland (5' 3'') and most of Spain (5' 5 2/3'') (in Spain the track built for the new high speed trains is standard gauge. The older track is the broader gauge).

A Trainspotter.

7th Sep 2011, 13:25
With a mix of standard and metre gauge in Western Australia we get over the problem thus:


Sailor Vee
7th Sep 2011, 13:28
The trains that run on the lines close together must be bluddy thin!

7th Sep 2011, 13:52
The trains that run on the lines close together must be bluddy thin!
No that's for these ones 'ere,


7th Sep 2011, 14:48
the track gauge is the same although to be fair

Because we Brits built them. The French didn't have a clue then. That is why the trains on the older railways in France travel on the left hand track.

7th Sep 2011, 15:52
Instead of a third rail, the Spanish international trains (such as the TALGO) move the wheels on the axles in and out.

Tecnología de Cambio de Ancho de Vía Automático - YouTube

Seems to work well... they've been doig it for ages.


7th Sep 2011, 15:59
Only the Spanish could come up with that!!!

tony draper
7th Sep 2011, 16:18
Were it not for a Geordie lad called Stephenson most of the above would still be riding about in Donkeys carts.

7th Sep 2011, 17:12
I was talking to somebody earlier this year who had been on a cruise and he said he got a lot of enjoyment in seeing how gullible some of the other passengers were. Apparently it started off after he asked another passenger whether or not they had enjoyed seeing some dolphins playing in the bow wave. They replied in the affirmative but questioned where the dolphins came from and how difficult it was to train them. My friend assured his fellow traveller that they belonged to the cruise line and that they were hoisted back on board every night and kept in the swimming pools where they could sleep and have a hearty meal of fish before being lowered back over the side so passengers could enjoy the spectacle of seeing them playing around the ship. Quite a few believed this tale apparently. :rolleyes:

Ancient Observer
7th Sep 2011, 17:45
So it is back to the oldies....Not even on a boat.....

Oldish American couple crossing the bridge over the Thames between Windsor and Eton,

"I wonder why the Queen built her castle under the Heathrow flight path?"

7th Sep 2011, 18:10
Was his name really Mr Copp? More like Mr C*ck. What an absolute imbecile! One has to ask how Mr Copp came to have children: it suggest that some poor woman took sufficient pity on him.... If I'd been the harbour master I'd have pushed him in...

west lakes
7th Sep 2011, 18:17
The 46-year-old was outraged that his children, aged seven and nine, had been forced to endure the sight of 12 crates of dead fish and crabs, piled up on the quayside.

Just a thought but who took the children there, who failed to check it was a good environment for those children?

Perhaps someone should report him to social services for taking the children to such a place!!
I'm sure that if their school or a youth organisation had taken the children there the father would be complaining to them

7th Sep 2011, 18:53
Good cod, what sort of plaice is that to take the little 'lings. Ilfracombe, I ask you?

7th Sep 2011, 18:59

I'm told something similar for trains between Sweden and Finland, although I believe that's only freight.

7th Sep 2011, 21:52
Sorry, but OFFS! That is all I can say without being totally banned from PPRUNE!! Food does not come in little boxes and from a certain frozen food company!! I am seething as I am about to teach Learning Disabled People to cook! No cr*p in our place!
Ok, so have said a bit more (could say a lot more though!!):ugh:

compressor stall
7th Sep 2011, 23:53
I once convinced a small group of American tourists that scones were actually reuseable condoms bought in vending machines that were mouldable like chewing gum around one's anatomy and could be shaped with desired ridges for her extra pleasure.

In order to clean them, one put them in a glass of water with two electrodes running off a standard AA battery and the current cleaned it.

Never told them any different...

8th Sep 2011, 13:16
I convinced a group of American tourists that the top of Table Mountain was levelled off by prisoners of war, as the weathy folk in the Southern Suburbs complained that they lost the light too early in the afternoon due to being in the shadow. The rock which was removed was dumped and is the part now known as Lion's Head, to the right of the mountain.


8th Sep 2011, 13:55
in Spain the track built for the new high speed trains is standard gauge. The older track is the broader gauge).

A third rail has been added to the standard two on the line from Figueras up to Perpignan. So standard gauge and Spanish gauge trains can use the TGV line. Understandable as there are only two TGV trains a day each way at present. Trivia: the line currently ends at Figueras as the Spanish forgot to build any track further south to Girona and Barcelona. Scheduled date for completion 2009, now 2012...and counting. Spanish government currently being sued by French government and the SNCF for billions of euros for this "oversight". Still, it's only taxpayers money.....

And now for something completely different.

My aunt was at a butchers in Willingdon, Eastbourne back when we were allowed to do our own slaughtering. Lady comes up to butcher standing outside shop, asks for some veal. Butcher slaps two calves on the rump, (or one of them), says "I'll be slaughtering these this afternoon, come in tomorrow." Lady says, "No I want some VEAL !" Butcher says that's right, these will be killed and dressed today, on the counter tomorrow. Lady says "you mean you're going to kill these lovely animals ?" Butcher says yes, if you want to buy some meat. Lady shouts at him "I never heard anything so cruel and disgusting in my life !" and storms out of shop. My aunt and the butcher looked at each other, completely speechless.

8th Sep 2011, 14:00
six slices of bacon please and make it lean. Certainly Madam which way?

OK OK its an ole one but I couldn't resist it!

8th Sep 2011, 19:53
In early 86 when berthed alongside in Chicago , on a 5,000 ton British war canoe. Some would ask how we got there. There were to general answers,

a, We berthed in New York and were loaden onto a low loader and came over land.

b, Superman lifted us out of the sea and put us in the lake.

I must add that not all our Cousins from across the pond were ignorant about the Welland Canal.