Terrified of flying

[Nellie72]

Hi all, sorry to post such a big question as a newbie. I'm flying from Gatwick to Santorini in a few weeks time with Easyjet.
I'm utterly terrified of flying though; think irrational terror, snot & tears and you're about 1/10th of the way there.
Thankfully I've never had a bad flight to have caused my fear (touches wood) and as a child I flew 10-12times/yr and loved every second of it.
I've tried hypnosis and drugs from the doctors but they didn't help....snot and sobbing a-plenty :rolleyes: I could kick myself sometimes. Thanks to a lovely steward on ryanair last time I flew, he was a godsend & I would not have been an easy passenger to have on the flight. I'm not a rude or violent passenger, neither to I ignore safety instructions, I'm just frozen with fear and the only thing that works are my tear and snot glands.
I also tried to book a course on a flying without fear course but it was cancelled at the last minute due to insufficient numbers.
I know it's irrational and I know that the pilots & cabin crew aren't about to take an unairworthy plane into the air, and I know what the different engine pitch noises are & the cluncks as the wheels are brought up after take off but I could quite easilly burst into tears now at the thought of getting on a plane, thinking about actually sitting in one of the seats as we go down the runway makes me feel sick to my stomach. I'm not the sort to frighten easily either having spent 2 years as an amatur jump jockey and only recently retiring from eventing (my horse got too old) and now getting into motorsport in a big way....so I don't understand why I'm so frightened.
As tempting as it is, I'm not going to get trollied before I fly either ;)
Any advice would be gratefully recieved.

[west lakes]

From the FAQ'a at the top of the forum, I suggest you read these first and then ask any questions you may have

http://www.pprune.org/passengers-slf-self-loading-freight/349752-nervous-flyer-thread.html


http://www.pprune.org/passengers-slf-self-loading-freight/440316-looking-answers-please-2.html#post6200459

[Mr Optimistic]

I am not that keen on flying either. So what are you actually frightened of ? Let's say death. Doubt it. But OK, fair enough but you will face it one day anyhow, and it could happen on a train or in a car or in your bed. If it's not death then what, perhaps the anxiety (not fear) of an uncomfortable and worrisome journey with lots of bumps, drops and rattles. I worry about that too, but I will still walk off the plane.

I can only tell you how I talk to myself. We are not front line soldiers, we are passengers. Others face such high risks, how can I worry about the negligible risk of flying, even if it makes me uncomfortable ? And of course there's the FA - if they do this day in and day out, why are you to worry. To them it's a mundane job, because it's a mundane jobe (sorry).

[Sunnyjohn]

My best mate has a fear of flying. He's battled it for us because we live in Spain and it's easier for him to fly than to drive his battered old van over. He's done it in easy stages, so far with his partner, by a short flight to Paris from Exeter and then one to us in Spain. Now his partner can't make it and he's coming over on his own for the first time. His family will see him on the flight and we'll be there to see him off it. He insists on doing this with no helpful substances whatever - alcohol, chemicals or otherwise. I've offered to go over and fly with him but he wants to do it on his own. I'll let you know how he gets on - we're expecting him at the end of this month.

[OFSO]

Nellie, try EFT (google it), a form of self-hypnosis. I do it every day, I would not claim it works on everything with me, just most things.

[P.Pilcher]

Sorry to hear that your fear of flying course was cancelled and I wish I could help, but to give you a little comfort and a possible idea, here's one of my repeatedly told flying stories (All pilots will have loads of flying stories, this is one of mine):
One day as a duty flying instructor, I was minding my own business at my flying club when my attention was drawn to the fact that the latest customer for a trial flying lesson had arrived and it was my job to give it.
Customer introduced himself as I did to him and he left his family behind in our flight lounge making themselves a cup of tea as we visited the briefing room where I was to outline the format of the lesson. Once there I didn't get very far because the candidate stopped me dead by telling me that he was terribly afraid of flying had never flown in his life before but had booked a holiday in Spain in a few weeks time so had booked this lesson in desparation to see if it would help him with his totally irrational fear.
Rethinking the whole situation, I suggested to him that one of the problems is that when you are cooped up in an aircraft and the doors are closed, there is absolutely nothing you can do if you have any sort of panic attack. My student agreed, so I organised a flight in which we would fly down the runway at an altitude of about 6 feet and always be in a situation where we could land if he felt he had a problem. Fortunately at this airfield we had a nice long runway so the exercise could be repeated and on the second time I kept him airborne for as long as I could before we ran out of runway to land on. This seemed to give him confidence and courage, so I asked him if he would like a slightly longer flight, but in this case there would be a period where I could not stop instantly. He agreed, so we flew the aeroplane around the airfield at about 400 feet. (Low level circuit to my colleagues reading this). On landing he looked much relieved, but was also much pleased that it was not nearly as bad as he had expected, so I suggested that we try again this time taking the aircraft up to 1000 feet. He seemed quite keen to try this which was also successful and after goving him much advice on what to expect on his holiday flight, he left my club a much happier and confident aircraft passenger.
If you think about it, he needed a tremendous amount of guts to book that trial lesson in the first place and I think that for him it paid off.
A possible idea for you?

P.P.

[Nervous SLF]

As my sign in name says I am a nervous flyer but only when in turbulence. The rest of the time I am fine. However when turbulence arrives I try to calm myself down by visualizing driving on the mountain roads in Bolivia. Now they are really scary. Someone wrote about not watching the investigation programmes about air crashes, I actually find them very helpful as it shows what planes can handle, that Chinese 747 over the Pacfic springs to mind, and also how people work constantly in rectifing potential / actual faults with aircraft to make then even safer. The prog about the BA 777 crash at LHR was particularly good as it put my mind at ease when I flew on a 777.

[Gulfstreamaviator]

It is a little like the old HK approach, fly towards the mountain, then break off, turn right, and land.... strong wind off the volcano permitting.

sit on the left side.....and keep video camera ready.

I think U Tube has some examples......

glf

[sisemen]

I'm flying......with Easyjet

I would say that's a perfectly rational fear. :E

[ross_M]

A wee bit of whiskey does wonders to alleviate my irrational fears (not of flying; though) Your doctor should have some nice anti-anxiety pills too.

[ceeb]

I was a very nervous flyer for many years, between 1985 & 2000 I never flew at all. I even drove to Cyprus whilst the other half went by plane. (it took her 4 hours, me 4 days!)

In 2000 I knew I had to take the bull by the horns as my son was still young enough and I didnt want him to miss out on travelling abroad because of my fears. I booked a trial lesson in a PA28 just so that I know I had control and could ask the pilot to land (I had had the briefing room chat with the pilot as the above post). Although extremely nervous I carried out the flight, with a short land away. That was my first flight for a long time.

At this time I was also getting help from a psychotherapist to overcome my fears, I had seen many therapists over the years but this one seemed to hit the nail on the head. I was interpreting excitement as fear.

This was a revelation to me, as it was true, I am like a 6 year old when it comes to anything to do with aircraft and aviation, and looking at the responses I had physically and mentally it was excitement.

I booked another lesson and went solo after 9 hours 20 minutes of dual instruction over the following couple of weeks. On my third solo on the climb out I suffered a panic attack (I had been susceptible to these since my late teens) this was a full blown panic attack with loss of feelings in the legs, racing heartbeat, feeling of detatchment, all this started about 400ft agl in the climb! :uhoh:

I made it round the circuit only to have another aircraft late departing the runway which meant I had to go around. The thing is though that I realsied that you cannot panic for ever and the survival instinct licks in. Sadly for me though I could not trust myself going solo again for fear of it happenning again, I tried and tried to do it even having a further one hundred and sixty further hours of dual instruction! (perhaps the most qualified non PPL holder ever!)

My flying meant so much to me and I wanted to get on a jet again so I booked a short flight LHR to Nice. I nearly didn't get on the 767 at LHR and the captain was kind enough to speak to me, i even explained the fact I had had so much training. We had an hour delay on stand at LHR but this helped me get accustomed to the surroundings and although nervous I enjoyed the flight. Coming back I promised myself that I would get on another flight within 2 weeks. Unfortunately the day I promised myself that was the 10th September 2001, so again I had a set back and the nerves got a bit more frayed!

Eventually got back on a jet in 2002 and that was exactly what was needed to finally put the demons behind me. I have now done about 120 commercial flights and even moved abroad!, so the fears can be overcome and they also need to be interpreted correctly.

I am disapointed I didn't get my PPL but hopefully in time I will be able to look at it again.

Good luck with overcoming your fear, if I can do it then I am sure you can. :)

[PAXboy]

Thank you ceeb for that illuminating and honest story. This thread about FoF is one of the most interesting on the subject that I seen in my time on this Forum.

[ceeb]

Thanks PAXboy, I think it helps others if they know many more have had the same fears and got over it. I just hope one day I can complete my PPL!

[jackieofalltrades]

There's nothing to be afraid of flying... it's the crashing you should be scared of.

Seriously though, a close friend of mine was petrified of flying, so much so that she wouldn't even go to an airport to pick up relatives. Eventually she summoned up the courage and will power to go on a fear of flying course. It was the best think she ever did - her words.
I highly recommend doing a little research into courses at airports near you and enrolling on one.

I wish you all the best on your next trip, and many more happy flights.

[ladylily63]

Never tried this before and being somewhat sceptical I gave it a try as I am a long term nervous flier due to fly to Malaga this Sunday.
I was actually amazed as initially after the 20 minute video it talks you through I was telling my son that it was rubbish and had not worked. However later in the day reliving it I did not feel anything, and I realised that the feelings of panic and nervousness that I had been feeling had gone and I could not get them back .
We will see I hope that this has been successful and will be tapping on take off :-) if neccessary , and will post with my results in a couple of weeks