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ExSp33db1rd
29th Aug 2011, 23:46
My enduring memory of my visit to the US of A this year will be noting that 80% of females - from very young to very old - had a cellphone permanently glued to their right paw, usually with the thumb moving in some manic St. Vitus Dance, or pressed against the right ear regardless of whatever other activity they were attempting, like driving in busy traffic, or buying shoes, ( yes, sadly I got dragged into that activity on pain of .... fill in your own blank ) or if eating in a restaurant then the thing was within an inch of their right paw, forever at the ready.

Just what is it about women that they need this electronic umbilical cord ?

A TV news prog. re-ran that video from YouTube showing a woman, head down on her texting gadget, who went A. over T. into a Mall fountain. It was shown because she is now sueing the Mall Management !!

A women came straight out of a shop in front of me, at right angles to the pedestrian flow, head down, thumb working and stumbled into a guy quietly trundling along in his wheelchair - and berated HIM for not watching where he was going ! I directed a few words of support to him, you know, a 6 letter word beginning with S, followed by 4 and 5 letter words beginning with C and B.

One reason for my trip this year was to attend an aviation-related week long course attended by some 135 assorted persons, 134 of which had a cellphone - guess who hadn't ? Still, I'm proud of the fact that I graduated without recourse to either a cellphone or iPad. Low Cunning and Experience still beats Youth and Technology !

Airborne Aircrew
30th Aug 2011, 00:48
In case you haven't noticed women.... talk... The cell phone is simply a facilitator... :hmm:

Um... lifting...
30th Aug 2011, 01:58
Albert had a handle on this phenomenon.:ok:

CoSklT6YBRI

sisemen
30th Aug 2011, 02:37
yyb3x95AHrQ

The clip in question! Turns out that the woman has a very shady past (credit card theft from a colleague and a hit and run).

atpcliff
30th Aug 2011, 03:05
Sounds exactly like Nairobi.

Rollingthunder
30th Aug 2011, 03:44
Funny you should mention this. I am to the point of having to seriously resist the impulse of grabbing phone (male or female) and throwing them into the road to get thereby runover.

crippen
30th Aug 2011, 04:00
in the Land of Smiles,the girls have two phones in use most of the time.One is in speech mode,and the other in texting mode,and that is just whilst riding a motorcycle.:ok:

probes
30th Aug 2011, 06:07
that's called democratic highly developed society with tech gadgets to make human life easier and more enjoyable.

Capetonian
30th Aug 2011, 06:14
I have a 30 minute 'talk' allowance included on each of my cellphone accounts. Even if I'm in the country for the full month, I rarely use more than 10 minutes. My o/h on the other hand has 3 hours and invariably exceeds it.

What I can't understand is how a woman can spend 20 minutes arranging to meet a friend round the corner, spend the afternoon with said friend,and then spend another hour on the phone to the same person that night.

That said, worse than a woman is my teenage son. The only time he's not talking on the phone is when he's texting on it.

probes
30th Aug 2011, 06:17
;) any preventive measures attempted on the son, C?

Capetonian
30th Aug 2011, 06:45
Yes, his account is Pay As You Go and he has an allowance which we pay. When he exceeds the allowance it comes out of his money. The trouble is he doesn't seem to care!

Lon More
30th Aug 2011, 07:04
you're paying him too much. Alternatively, you're paying him too little and he's engaged in something nefarious on the side.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y204/Badyin/funnies/Smartphones_lol20800x600wtmk.jpg

sisemen
30th Aug 2011, 07:59
My hero! I always threaten this for lectures/talks and, so far, have never had to use the tactic.

hut3VRL5XRE

ExSp33db1rd
30th Aug 2011, 08:07
But why do they have to be permanently to hand, and never in one of the many bags that females adorn themselves with, or a simple pocket ? Even alongside nubile bodies on the beach ( yes, I did occasionally move my eyes from other attractions - if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em and I'm not talking about the latest cellphone ) and my attempts at a reverse Canute ( bringing the tide in, instead of stopping it ) was a dismal failure.

Is it a sign of social failure, or other stigma, if the damned thing isn't answered before the second bar of whatever stupid tune has been selected as an alert function ?

On the occasions when I'm forced to carry one of the blasted things - it rings, as a proper telephone oughtta.

I've just seen an advert for a cellphone that ONLY allows one to talk, no screen for text or other nonsense, and big buttons instead of slippery touchtone screens, trouble is it had a stupid name that I have promptly forgotten -'telephone' would obviously seriously challenge todays' Youf.

tony draper
30th Aug 2011, 08:48
My phone is such a one, I can speak into it, it speaks to me, I think it is capable of recieving text but they I delete unread the instant I get the text ding dong,it cannot take picture surf the net or navigate me about the place and only four humans walking the Earth have its number.
That is as it should be.
:)

sisemen
30th Aug 2011, 09:00
only four humans walking the Earth have its number

What's the number Drapes? Most of us here fly above the earth so it's safe with us :}

Takan Inchovit
30th Aug 2011, 09:15
Cell phones are laced with pheromones. One whiff and you cant keep your hand off it! :suspect:

OFSO
30th Aug 2011, 09:54
Slight TD, but yesterdays "El Punt" newspaper here had a report on the decreasing number of SMS's which are being sent in Spain as everyone migrates over to smartphones with wifi, and tweets or e-mails instead.

Phone providers are concerned at the loss of income but with Skype (or similar) and g-mail on all the Android phones - and a free wifi hotspot here and there - why pay for what you get for free ? As far as I am aware, no phone operator here blocks the use of Skype on their smart phones, which are themselves pretty well free on every system anyway.

OFSO
30th Aug 2011, 09:57
only four humans walking the Earth have its number

Tony, one is intrigued. Are there non-humans who have the number ? One would hope dogs, of course.........some friendly visiting aliens ?...blithe spirits ? God ? or the other chap in top hat and tails with a forked stick ?

Lord Spandex Masher
30th Aug 2011, 10:04
you know, a 6 letter word beginning with S, followed by 4 and 5 letter words beginning with C and B.

Maybe I haven't had enough coffee yet. I've got the 6 letter word and the 5 letter word but for the life of me I can't think what the 4 letter C word is.

Unless it is the C word? But that wouldn't be grammatically correct, unless I've got the other words wrong!

vulcanised
30th Aug 2011, 11:49
Cell phones are laced with pheromones. One whiff and you cant keep your hand off it!


Probably the phones where the owner has discovered another use for the vibrating ringer.

Dark Knight
30th Aug 2011, 12:16
All one needs to do is visit ones local Spy shop where, for a modest sum, one may purchase a cell phone jamming device which when switched on will jam all mobile phones within about a 12ft (3.5metre) radius or more.

Great fun being able to eat in relative silence in a restaurant where other patrons are upsetting their digestive systems anguishing over the new found lack of communication,

Great fun on the train and bus.

Should one not have a local spy shop nearby then use your phone to Google one and purchase online.

Have a Silent Day Y'all

Lon More
30th Aug 2011, 13:10
being able to eat in relative silence in a restaurant where other patrons are upsetting their digestive systems anguishing over the new found lack of communication,

alternatively patronise establishments where the clientel does not feel the need to allow such a device to intrude on their enjoyment of the cuisine. :O

corsair
30th Aug 2011, 13:39
Luddites the lot of you. My wife interestingly held out against the mobile phone thing until she met me. Even then she only grudgingly uses it.

I on the other hand have just acquired the smart phone to have. The Samsung Galaxy SII Android phone. It has everything, GPS, camera, video, email. I can watch TV on it or listen to the radio or music etc etc. You name it and it has it.

There were a few glitches. When I tried to make a phone call. I couldn't find any way to dial a number. After reading the manual followed by a a lot of head scratching. I resorted to google and sure enough I was not alone. But the solution was simple. So back in business.

It has voice command. So I tried it to call my wife. I got through, a woman answered and I began to chat only to discover it was Shannon ATC. No my wife's name is not Shannon. I tried sending a text by voice and somewhow sent my sister in law the following: 'Donnel honey'. She smiles at me a lot more now.:O

Then there was the moment when I tried to send a picture of a slightly bent aeroplane to the boss accompanied by text which if read without the picture gave the impression that I had just pranged the thing. All he got was the text and nearly had a heart attack.

So it's been great fun. I need all the gadgets because frankly no one calls me except the wife. I have one app which you can use to point at a passing airliner. It will immediately tell you what it is and where it's going even it's transponder code. Fantastic............but I've no idea what use it is.

How do you know you've met someone at a party who has a smartphone?
They tell you.

MagnusP
30th Aug 2011, 13:44
corsair: MrsP uses a Galaxy as well, and keeps telling me "Go on; you know you want one". Nope, not really. I have a 3yo Nokia on PAYG which gets used for texts and to give MrsP or either of the MissesP a "one-ringer" and they call me back using their free contract minutes. I use the radio sometimes. The Galaxy is a nice bit of kit, though.

OFSO
30th Aug 2011, 14:13
alternatively patronise establishments where the clientel does not feel the need to allow such a device to intrude on their enjoyment of the cuisine

Here in Catalunia just about everyone from the guy digging up the drains to their lordships at the local Castle slap down a mobile phone or fondle-slab on the table when seated for lunch or dinner, said meal then being accompanied by a lot of conversation or screen tapping.

Last May we took an elderly and close relative for lunch at the Savoy Grill Room, place was packed with besuited gentlemen, and hey ! not a phone or -slab in sight. So now you all know where to go.......

tony draper
30th Aug 2011, 14:18
Had the same five quid card in mine for about three years,made one call out in that time.
I have a perfectly good land line if I want to speak to anybody.
:rolleyes:

Um... lifting...
30th Aug 2011, 14:32
oe-Y-zSd5gs

vulcanised
30th Aug 2011, 14:33
Same here, Mr D., only in my case it's five years.

Phone is switched off for months at a time but I have to make a 2 second call to my answering machine every six months to keep the account alive. Same battery too.

radeng
30th Aug 2011, 14:37
Cellphone jammers are illegal. Get caught and depending on the country, it could be anything from a slapped wrist to a lengthy jail term.

So it's best not to switch it on permanently. Just for a minute or two every other minute - enough to cause the probelm, but not so easy for it be identifiable.

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Aug 2011, 14:38
The urge to walk around a restaurant with a large hammer crushing all the mobile phones against whichever surface they're located is quite overwhelming at times.

MagnusP
30th Aug 2011, 14:40
SRT: Especially if the surface happens to be someone's earhole.

corsair
30th Aug 2011, 14:46
Here in Catalunia just about everyone from the guy digging up the drains to their lordships at the local Castle slap down a mobile phone or fondle-slab on the table when seated for lunch or dinner, said meal then being accompanied by a lot of conversation or screen tapping.Until some Gypsy kids appear and hoof it with the thing.

In Barcelona once, I saw one snatch a phone off the table of two Englishmen seated at an open air bar. They looked at each other for a second then gave chase, returning a few minutes later with said phone, smirking broadly.

Presently the urchin brazenly reappeared, one man slapped the phone down on the table and stared at her. There was momentary stand off accompanied by some Spaghetti western music. (Well there should have been.) Eventually the girl gestured rudely and went looking for less streetwise tourists.

All very amusing.

On that point. I have downloaded an app where I can find a computer or another phone and call mine should it be missing or stolen. You can set off a very loud siren or send a voice message 'Give me back the phone you thieving git!' Switch it off or on or even take a picture remotely. It will also tell you where it is, so you can go around and punch out the lights of the thief. If all else fails you can render it inoperable remotely. All very hi tech and with some comedy potential. I've already used it on my kids. They think it's magic. Then there's the photo thing. 'Oh dear where's my phone? Maybe it's still in the ladies changing room. I better check':ok:

Worrals in the wilds
30th Aug 2011, 14:48
http://www.dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/000000/20000/9000/000/29061/29061.strip.gif

Female, too...
One of the great things about going out west is that cellphones don't work there. Ahh, the serenity....
Mobile Networks State Coverage Search - Telstra (http://www.telstra.com.au/mobile/networks/coverage/state.html)

crippen
30th Aug 2011, 14:51
Saw somebody put a phone in a pint once when it rang. It rang for ages,a funny gurgling ring albeit.:D

Solid Rust Twotter
30th Aug 2011, 14:55
Especially if the surface happens to be someone's earhole.


Why do you toy with me, Mr P...?:}

Um... lifting...
30th Aug 2011, 15:15
One of the great things about going out west is that cellphones don't work there. Ahh, the serenity....

Cellular Maps.com-Coverage Comparison: AT&T, Cricket, MetroPCS, Nextel, Sprint, T-Mobile, US Cellular & Verizon (http://www.cellularmaps.com/net_compare.shtml)

Us, too, Mr. Wilds... us too... though maybe not so much...

sisemen
30th Aug 2011, 15:17
Nice link Worrals - that now explains why I can't get a bleedin signal half the time. 100km from Perth and you'd swear we were in the third world.

OFSO
30th Aug 2011, 15:33
On that point. I have downloaded an app where I can find a computer or another phone

Standard out-of-the-box on my HTC Android, from any PC I can lock it, divert calls, divert SMS's, sound a very loud tone or find it on Google Latitude. That's if of course I can remember my password !

Worrals in the wilds
30th Aug 2011, 15:38
Jeez, Alaska looks peaceful! I'm going there. :cool:
Glad it's not just here, although it's genuinely nice to be able to say to people in a serious voice; 'Of course I'll be out of mobile range for the next 10 days, a real pity but there you go...Just leave a message with Y or call the satphone at megadollars a minute if it's really urgent...' It never seems to be that urgent and Y is always primed to screen calls for key words like 'fire', 'dismissal' or 'lawsuit' and ignore the rest. :}

Sise, I also found the WA coverage was really spotty, far worse than the east coast where you can at least get Telstra line-of-sight from the water tower for 30km out of town or so...

tony draper
30th Aug 2011, 15:49
As Clarkson said,the best plan is to have a mobile phone and no friends.:ok:

Lon More
30th Aug 2011, 16:09
Alaska looks peaceful! I'm going there.

Unfortunately everyone there has a Sat. Phone, just as noisy but more expensive.

Tankertrashnav
30th Aug 2011, 17:50
I'm not very interested in mobiles/cellphones but I am very interested in the English language.

Interesting that a gadget which has only been around for 20 years or so has from the off acquired two different names, ie a "mobile" in the UK and a "cellphone" in the US and elsewhere where American usage is favoured.

One more pair to add to the "pavement/sidewalk", "bonnet/hood" list.

PS - quite like the German "Handy", although I find they very often aren't!

ExSp33db1rd
31st Aug 2011, 09:32
.........Unless it is the C word? But that wouldn't be grammatically correct, unless I've got the other words wrong!

Correct grammar was hardly at the top of my priorities at the time.

PPRuNe is clearly divided into those who hate the things, ( mobile phones that is, I've left thoughts of the C word behind now ) and those who love them.

I'm obviously in the first group, and I'm quickly forming similar impressions of 'touchscreen' computer technology. The Moving Finger Writes - then wipes the whole damned lot off into Cyberspace. " What the f....s it doing now ? " is oft heard , and not only from my lips.

I recall being at the World Expo. in Osaka in 1970 and being shown a gadget that resembled a Remington Portable ( just ) typewriter - remember those ? It had four tubes like radio valves ( remember them, too ? ) on top that had a glowing, and wobbling, pink light inside them. This was apparently the Worlds first electronic calculator available to a gullible public. It added, subtracted, divided and multiplied - only. A few years later I had one with many, many, more functions built into my watch. ( which wasn't even large enough to identify me as a pilot )

All too much.

OFSO
31st Aug 2011, 09:40
quite like the German "Handy",

Another of my pet hates* which makes me see RED. Such a silly inappropriate word.

Although I speak fluent German I refuse to understand this word when said to me by a German and insist on them saying "telefon mobil".

Many locals here have unfortunately picked up the name Handy from visiting Germans. When they use it to me I just punch them on the nose.

* which are increasing every day.....

Lord Spandex Masher
31st Aug 2011, 09:56
Correct grammar was hardly at the top of my priorities at the time.

In that case, top marks sir!

ExSp33db1rd
31st Aug 2011, 10:16
In that case, top marks sir!

Mille Grazie.

....on their smart phones, which are themselves pretty well free on every system anyway.

Not in NZ they're not. Apparently we have the most expensive telecom charges in the Developed World, we're told ( define Developed ) and in 1 hr. 10 mins i.e. 1st Sept. at Long. 175E, the NZ Guvnmint is to enact a new law prohibiting use of the Internet for file sharing - whatever that means.

Apparently it is intended to stop us watching, or listening, to " entertainment " for which the correct copyright fee has not been paid. The penalty is a massive fine initially then ex-communication from any source of the Internet - ISP's will be commanded to deny service for 6 months at a time, initially.

Not sure quite what it all means, or how "they" are going to Police it, but the ISP account holder will be the one liable, not the viewer, so parents will be denied access to the Internet if their cunning teenagers have found how to see the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, or listen to some music, for which copyright is effective for instance (apparently teenagers do that all the time, I wouldn't know how to start ) but worse, Cafes, or public venues - MacDonalds for one - that allow WiFi for their customers will be the ones held to account, not the customer, so I guess those will all close down their facilities now.

Life Presents a Dismal Picture.

Octopussy2
31st Aug 2011, 11:30
Although I speak fluent German I refuse to understand this word when said to me by a German and insist on them saying "telefon mobil".
What a little ray of sunshine you must be to be around OFSO:}

In Singapore it's a "handphone", hence possibly the contraction?

Here, for francophones it's "le mobile" said in a French accent of course, whilst presumably the Academie Francaise despairs and insists on "telephone portable".

tony draper
31st Aug 2011, 12:38
The chap who invented the thing called it a Telephone so telephone it is,he was a Engllishman from North of the Wall,I think they call themselves Scotsmen.
:rolleyes:

MIDLGW
31st Aug 2011, 12:39
I've got an ancient phone that's mostly on "silent" mode. If I go out for dinner/lunch/night out/meeting etc, the phone gets switched off. The only time it stays on in these circumstances is if I'm expecting an important call and I let whoever I'm with know. Common courtesy, no?

I have to have a mobile due to standby duties. It's good to be able to receive texts from friends whilst away with work, but I often switch the silly thing off. When it's on, it resides in a pocket or handbag.

So ExS-bird, not all females are permanently glued to their gadget of choice.

Capetonian
31st Aug 2011, 12:52
My o/h's cellphone, unless she's actually yammering on it, wihch is most of the time, is usually switched off, buried at the bottom of the bag, or has a flat battery. She tells me she only leaves it switched on when she is expecting a call .... apparently this logic is fairly common amongst females.

I can therefore never contact her on it, which really pisses me off as I hate cellphones and really only use them when it's important.

tony draper
31st Aug 2011, 13:01
Here's my first one,tiz a bit grubby because it has been lying in the bottom of a old toolbox.:rolleyes:
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a194/Deaddogbay/2011-08-3113-56-34943.jpg
Probably a collectors item now

OFSO
31st Aug 2011, 13:08
What a little ray of sunshine you must be to be around OFSO

I cannot deny it. I am read the riot act before we visit certain irritant nationalities for lunch/drinks/mud-wrestling (I confess, this comprises an awful lot of folk).

Used to love going to CH, gave me an opportunity to speak Schwitzerdeutsch and upset the pure Germans who would claim to me they couldn't understand the Swiss Germans "und wir versteh' uberhaupt nicht wie du kannst..."

Capetonian
31st Aug 2011, 15:57
I am read the riot act before we visit certain irritant nationalities

Me too, I am given a list of taboo subjects, blacklisted jokes, people I must not mention, and so on. It always fails to work!

Octopussy2
31st Aug 2011, 16:24
I speak German (well, Bayerisch really) but I don't need to in the bit of CH I'm in. I'm amusing myself by trying to improve my understanding of Svisserdeutsch by watching Zurich tv stations; at the moment I understand about 1 word in 10. LOVING their version of "Come Dine with Me" though :ok:

Cheerio
31st Aug 2011, 16:40
I've just seen an advert for a cellphone that ONLY allows one to talk, no screen for text or other nonsense, and big buttons instead of slippery touchtone screens, trouble is it had a stupid name that I have promptly forgotten -'telephone' would obviously seriously challenge todays' Youf.

Might have been this?

https://www.johnsphones.com/

MadsDad
31st Aug 2011, 17:04
I got myself one of those all-sing, all-dancing, touch screen, iterwebthingy capable phones. I can see it from where I'm sitting, on the bookcase. Minus a SIM card.

The phone I still use which has got my SIM in it is one of the old Nokia 6120s, does all I ask of it (send receive calls/text messages) with no fuss, no bother and only needs plugging into the mains once a week.

Does for me.

corsair
31st Aug 2011, 17:37
As I sit here at my laptop my all singin, all dancing smart phone is playing the TV news live. Mainly because my kids have appropriated the TV proper. Ah the marvels of technology. If offered to make me a cup of tea earlier but I decided that might be a bit too ambitious on it's part.

Imagine if I played that in a restaurant?

As it happens I do have one of those phones others have spoken off. I bought it when my previous phone had a problem but it was too soon to upgrade. So I bought it for 25. It's a tiny little thing. On it you can make calls or send texts. The only gimmick on it is a a little itsy bitsy light which even if you were at the bottom of the deepest darkest mineshaft in the world you would still have trouble reading your watch with it.

Perfect for you guys.

ExSp33db1rd
1st Sep 2011, 00:25
MIDLGW ........

So ExS-bird, not all females are permanently glued to their gadget of choice.

I said ..........

.....noting that 80% of females...

congratulations on being included in the 20% whom I noticed that didn't.

There's hope yet !

Cheerio

https://www.johnsphones.com/

Thanks, actually it wasn't, but something similar by Samsung advertised in the Southwest Airlines inflight magazine for August. ( anyone out there ? )