View Full Version : Noise abatement and lift pixies.

25th Aug 2011, 01:59
Having followed all the threads mentioned in the "Classic Pprune Threads" I am beginning to doubt my sanity. The answers to some of the issues raised are so blindingly obvious that it really bothers me to raise them here.

Of particular concern was the thread raised by "Shh... Noise Abatement" relating to "TOO MUCH NOISE" over his house. The assembled brains at the time came up with all sorts of weird and wonderful ideas of rotating runways, banked runways, runways at 1000', etc., when a solution was so incredibly obvious. Train the lift pixies to require less noise to attract them on to the aircraft wings enabling the aircraft to take off with less disruption to the surrounding population. If the lift pixies could make do with 10 or 20db less noise then the problem would be solved for all.

There would be no night time curfews at airports, no restrictions on low flying over populated areas, Concorde could fly supersonic straight from Heathrow. Surely it must be worthy of consideration.

Airborne Aircrew
25th Aug 2011, 02:21
Clearly you have absolutely zero knowledge of the theory of flight... Lift Pixies are born hard of hearing... It's lesson number one, dummy.... :}

25th Aug 2011, 02:57
Concorde could fly supersonic straight from Heathrow.

If there was a Conc around to do it.

25th Aug 2011, 04:05
Isn't there a website around where people can petition HM's government to provide funding for good causes. Something along the lines of "We the undersigned hereby petition Her Majesty's government to provide funding for research and the provision of hearing aids for lift pixies at no cost to the recipients". I feel confident that many Ppruners would sign.

You would have to make lots of noise to attract them in order to fit the hearing aids, but once the task is completed then peace will settle across the country. If the hearing aids were patented it could provide a welcome boost to British manufacturing revenue for years to come.

25th Aug 2011, 05:36
I see a snag alisoncc, there won't be enough hearing aids to go round so they will have to be handed over at shift change and/or passing 4000 feet, by which time the next two aircraft are already airborne with deaf pixies, disaster!:(

Lon More
25th Aug 2011, 07:52
But if the lift pixies are deaf they won't hear the engines so will provide more lift with the side effect of more noise? or did I just get up too early this morning?

The Nr Fairy
25th Aug 2011, 08:55
Are the lift pixies the same as the Nr Fairies ? :)

25th Aug 2011, 09:12
I'm pixielated :confused:

25th Aug 2011, 10:50
Surely it would be possible to give deaf people a discount for houses closest to airports/aerodromes? Few complaints and the lift pixies aren't offended! Our Government would provide the price difference instead of giving landowners massive grants for wind farm sites with triple bonus lead-in electricity prices [which still need fossil fuelled power plants on 24/7 standby for when the wind drops] and there is little if any power available to the taxpayer!

Sorry thread creep........ :rolleyes:

PS When quoting power generation rating for wind turbines please use Actual figures [usually about 20% of claimed value] as total output is Never achieved.