View Full Version : The Phone Book?

tony draper
18th Aug 2011, 09:08
Why do the powers that be or whoever it is keep dumpimg phone books, yellow pages and such on me front foor step? dont think I have even taken one out of the polythen bags they come in for twenty years,they just get binned unopened,must cost a fortune to print in monies and trees to produce millions of the buggas,how many people actually use the dammed things these days? surely if they asked if the household actually needs or wants one would save a lot of money.

18th Aug 2011, 09:18
Speculative marketing one supposes, or perhaps they know where all the steam driven telephone users live :p


18th Aug 2011, 09:21
The publishers get paid for the adverts in them BY THE NUMBER OF COPIES delivered,not read.You can make brickettes out of them to burn though.

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tony draper
18th Aug 2011, 09:27
Most of the commuincations of a telephonic nature seem to be taking place on those mobile phone thingies these days(one dont hold wi mobile phones)seen people sitting down and making a call on the dammed things with a perfectly good land line two foot from their elbow,madness I tell you madness.

18th Aug 2011, 09:31
Costs loot to call a mobile from my 'inclusive tarriff' landline, Tony, on t'other hand I get a few 'free' mobile-mobile calls on me cellphone. So, horses for courses.

tony draper
18th Aug 2011, 09:43
I have made exactly one call out on me mobile in the last five years(went to visit a pal and had forgotten he had moved house had to call for directions to his new gaff)had the same five quid card in rthe thing for years,dont pay no mobile phone tarrif or bill,
Only four people in the known universe have my mobile number,if anybody else wishes to hail me they can look up me landline number in the phone book.

18th Aug 2011, 10:01
Never use any of the three I get rammed through my letter box at home, they clutter up a corner until I remember to ditch them in the appropriate bin at the dump, um, recycling centre. If I need to look up a phone number I use directory enquiries on line.

Had a call from Yell at work t'other day to "check your details for the new edition", then I got the hard sell on purchasing an advert (no thanks, our business doesn't raise new clients via telephone directories) and then on providing our website with search engine optimisation (no thanks, our parent company arranges all that); she appeared incredulous that we wouldn't spend any money with them: "well, can I speak with your managing director, then?". "**** off" (well, I spelt it "no"...).

18th Aug 2011, 10:13
You can call them and opt out. Unfortunately, you have to call BT for The Phone Book and Yell for the Yellow Pages.

18th Aug 2011, 10:23
you have to call BT for The Phone Book and Yell for the Yellow Pages. Presumably the numbers are in the books. :rolleyes:

18th Aug 2011, 10:26
they can look up me landline number in the phone book. - can I see an embryonic non sequitur there?

tony draper
18th Aug 2011, 10:32
Deliberate attempt at irony Mr B.:rolleyes:

18th Aug 2011, 12:06
The publishers don't respond to a bit of common sense either.

My number and that of a local car repair company differs by one digit. Theirs has a 1 in it, mine a 2. Because the directory 1 is printed using a heavily serifed font, it looks like a 2 (even to me when I first checked), so I get lots of calls for the repairers.

Pointed out the problem to the publishers years ago, suggested sans serif would solve the problem. No reply, no change.

Worrals in the wilds
18th Aug 2011, 12:15
Sometimes their lack of common sense works out in your favour. A small business I am involved with paid for a standard listing (all we could afford) and due to a clerical error got a large bold red font listing with a border around it. :ok:

It would have cost a fortune but as it was their error, too bad so sad. What was interesting...we had no increase in trade that year due to the big fancy ad, so we learned that they're not worth the money without actually having to spend it first.

18th Aug 2011, 12:41
About 16 years ago I had a small part time business analysing utility bills for companies and negotiating better deals, ie a Utility Cost Analyst. Unfortunately that year Yellow Pages listed me as a Utility Cost Analist. Unsurprisingly no business came from that advert!

It's 11 years since I terminated the business due to pressure of my main job but I still get junk mail - especially from Viking Direct - who still think I'm a practicing analist and no matter how many times I ask, they don't seem able to take me off their mailing list.

18th Aug 2011, 13:17
Tricks to having them thick fonbewks burn clean is:

Rip off the outside cover & discard -- made of plastic kryptonite, they are.

Prepare the makings for a HOT fire with whatever works best for you - coke might be better than coal, for example - and oak better than pine. Dry, old oak sticks from windfall branches are ideal.

Lay all (or part, if a small space available) of the book over the hot-burning stuff in the fashion of a simple-fold tent. Then light the parts underneath, allow the fire it plenty of air to work with, and enjoy the results.

Works fine with newsprint books. The ones with clay paper (for fancier printing) aren't worth the bother. Already half earth, they are.

18th Aug 2011, 15:06
I really miss the days when the Great White Explorer could
tell what was going on by a quick listen to the jungle drums.

No-one plays the jungle drums any more.
They've ALL got bl**dy mobiles.

WHEN you burn old phone books in the grate, be VERY careful
NOT to set the chimney on fire. Just a warning.

18th Aug 2011, 16:00
I would have thought that all you who contribute to Jet Blast and who's font of knowledge and wisdom is renown throughout the known universe, would understand why we have these books delivered to our doors.The reason is to give the unemployed a bit of exercise delivering them and a contribution towards their beer and baccy money. Simple when you know.

Krystal n chips
18th Aug 2011, 16:54
The things are also getting smaller I note...presumably to save printing costs....

" with a perfectly good land line two foot from their elbow,madness I tell you madness."

One concurs wholeheartedly Mr D....one's own mobile is as basic as it gets given that I am not addicted to the things...texts / short and infrequent calls and for contingencies only....and pay as you go, not some inane contract.

The same level of madness applies to the "pay a fortune for bottled water " brigade...one pays for the stuff from the tap.... which duly enters the plastic bottle....when required.

18th Aug 2011, 17:24
The thing about publications like telephone directories is that they print all copies in one print run, so have to print one for each subscriber (or are they called stake holders?) plus extras for those businesses that 'need' multiple copies and for those who move into the area and demand a copy.

Somewhere there is a warehouse with piles of 'unwanted' directories just waiting . . .

18th Aug 2011, 19:04
We find that the "Yellow Pages" (Gouden Gids) uses a type of paper that is perfect for wrapping up small items to prevent them being scratched.

Not tried the "White Pages" yet, we ain't finished the yellow one yet.

19th Aug 2011, 08:37
Sign of the times Tony.. nowadays yellow pages and the phone book are really only any use for bashing the kids :ok:

It's a bit like Pprune and those social networking sites, back in the good old days, if we wanted to spread rumours or slag someone off we used a felt tip pen and the good old bog door.. I passed many an enjoyable moment sitting on the throne at Hangar 5 at Baginton and savouring the daily comments on the back of the door. :ok: