View Full Version : Useless Thieving Taxman

G&T ice n slice
8th Aug 2011, 17:46
Complete and utter useless set of morons

In the middle of July I realised that I hadn't received the half-yearly statement and demand of monies with menaces from the UK income tax (motto you have an income, we take it all in tax). So calls them up and after 35 minutes some deigns to answer.

me: " I haven't had the half yearly tax statement and since it needs to be paid by 31st july and you will fine me hundreds of pounds, can you send me a copy"

complete useless taxman pratt : "oh haven't you received it? well you can pay online"

me : "no I don;t want to pay (name of theiving robbing foreign bank that the taxman seems to have got into bed with) several hundred pounds to them for the privilege of paying my taxes thank you very much, please just send me a copy of the statement & bank payment slip"

complete moronic idiot taxman pratt : "well I can arrange to send you the bank payment slip, but it will take at least 10 days and if you haven;t paid the taxes before 31st july you will be liable for a fine of several gazillion pounds and we will take your testicles as well"

me : "but it isn't my fault, oh just send the payment slip"

payment slip duly arrives on tuesday 30th july ((15 days after I asked for it to be sent)) and I rush down to bank to pay taxes & pray for deliverance from the testicle-removing tax police.

TODAY I RECEIVE ..........
the 31st july 6-month;y statement and payment demand, to gether with a covering note that says "we are writing to appologise for the late issue of your tax staement etc etc etc" ..... "exceptionally you will not be liable to pay fines on late payment unless you fail to pay the outstanding amount before 27th September"

COMPLETE USELESS MORONIC IDIOTIC PRATShttp://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/censored.gif

8th Aug 2011, 22:36
My accountant tells me that as far as he can tell anyone in IRC who had a clue what the hell was going on has left and is now working in private practice, leaving the whole shambolic setup to be operated by a bunch of kids who are little better than YTS trainees.

I told my daughter who is waiting for a tax rebate due from last October not to hold her breath, but just to keep sending them the same letter every month or so until someone finally acts on it.

8th Aug 2011, 22:45
Some of us small business owners know these things & are having a field day with the petty cash. Allegedly.

8th Aug 2011, 23:09
I left the UK 10 years ago, and settled my tax before I left (I was self-emploed there for a year and a half). I recently discovered they were after me for 100's of pounds in fines for not submitting tax returns .... for 10 years.

Luckily, I had kept all the correspondence, but they still sent me a demand the next year - for 0 pounds ....

I have a feeling it will all kick off again soon - so I'm stilll keeping all the correspondence. Your tax pounds at work ....

8th Aug 2011, 23:24
I don't live in the UK, check out my location. We of course have slavishly copied the Brits since we allegedly became independant of them. But I'm seriously considering not bothering to make an effort to do the right thing any more. I'm self employed but even though I earn less than someone in a proper job who wouldn't even be in the tax net. I have to pay tax even though, quite frankly I'm poor. Worse, I have to pay tax based on last year's income which is in fact by a multiple standard is a lot higher than I am earning this year.

Sure I'll get a rebate but I haven't got it now in order to pay it now!

I'm doomed. Is it possible to be in jail for non payment of tax while getting a rebate?

9th Aug 2011, 07:42
I got home last night to find a cheque from HMRC waiting for me :ok:

Utrinque Apparatus
9th Aug 2011, 08:16
Strange that in a Country where the HMRC love to intimidate, bully and cajole people into paying tax, they are so incompetent at actually collecting it

All whilst the poor public basically does half their job for them in terms of form filling and so called self assessment.

9th Aug 2011, 11:38
I filled my short tax return the other week. Today I get a letter telling me I've overpaid tax by nearly 2000. That is believable, too.

9th Aug 2011, 11:55
Heard an HMRC employee of some years talking recently.

He said the rot really set in when they had a shotgum marriage between Revenue and Customs. Result is that no-one has a clear idea of their duties are, and even less knowledge of what other departments do.

9th Aug 2011, 12:03
Further to my previous post, we've all had an email at work from HR explaining that this is all a mistake caused by a change of payroll provider -whatever that may be. :{

Good job I didn't cash it then. :sad:

9th Aug 2011, 12:05
And on a lighter note, the chappie I dealt with in 2010 at the local tax office here read my income tax declaration for 2009, whistled, pursed his lips, frowned his brow, and then said "you're paying far too much..."

This year my pension has been reduced (international govermental staff all took a cut this year), told same man I had less to declare for 2010, he brightened and said "well, that's a bit better, that'll cut your tax bill a bit".

In Spain - at least, in the small tax offices, you feel they are not against you.