Apocryphal SWO stories out there.......

[Wander00]

MAc - make me feel VERY old - my Manston memories are of mid -late 60s, when as a very junior pilot on 360 and still on the most flimsy of instrument ratings I was sent off to build hours on a Friday afternoon and often got diverted to Manston, to spend a long dreary weekend in flying kit with only the fruit machine for company

[sitigeltfel]

My my father was an Eng WO (lecky) serving from 1955 to 1997. To allow me to finish school he has a 2 year extension taking him to ‘97. For these 2 years he was the SWO at RAF Manston and pretty much closed down the RAF side.

IIRC there was no SWO at Manston in the early/mid 70s, a Sgt or Flt Sgt discipline held the post. The manning was too small to warrant a "Warrant".

[MAc2591]

Fair one.

There was definitely a SWO in the 90s though.

[Q-SKI]

Circa 1976, RAF Colerne Easter Parade in Bath, on falling out after march past to enter the church, one hapless airman entered the church with his hat on after joe public had all taken their places, only to hear, in the best parade ground manner, the SWO shout “get your hat off in the House of the Lord.......*@%+!”. Surprisingly he was gone by Monday morning.

[Danny42C]

Q-SKI (#251),

The Church Parade story was current in WWII - only the location varied with the telling.

Our version ran: "Take yer 'at orf in the 'Ouse of Gawd - C*** !"

You can't keep a good story down!

[tomdocherty72]

In 1978 I arrived at Shawbury and reported to the guardroom to enquire as to where I might be accommodated. I was told to come inside and they would sort it out. Whilst waiting by the Ord Sgt's desk I could hear the shouting of "Left,right,left,right,right wheel, left wheel left, right, left, right, mark time, halt!" in a very loud roar. Stood in from of the desk was a JT wearing a raincoat, minus buttons, a working blue shirt, not properly buttoned up with his face and hands covered in oil and grease, wearing shoes that had not seen polish for at least two years and the filthiest pair of trousers I have ever seen. (As a young LAC newly arrived from Swinderby I was suitably alarmed by all the noise). The shouting, roaring voice was the SWO. He turned to the Ord Sgt and said "Sgt, charge him!", "What with?" asked the Sgt. "EVERYTHING!!!!!!" screamed the SWO and stormed off.

[cargosales]

In Jan 82, St Athan was closed for 72 hours after the worst snow in living memory. PMAR decided it would be a good idea to build a ' giant snow phallus', bang outside the Ante room, so off we went. Now he modelled this around some sort of large stone ornament in the shape of a I believe a bird table. Phallus finished we retired to the mess. Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away. The figure never entered the mess and we weren't sure if it was the SWO, but our belief then was that it was. We stood sniggering in the warmth of the Ante room like the schoolboys we had been some months previously.
PMAR,one of the best!

Slight thread drift but ISTR a post on here that a bunch of Lineys did much the same when they built a snowman outside their hangar and patrolling Plod in their landrover came round and deliberately demolished it by driving through it..

The snowman was rebuilt, just this time around a concrete bollard, and the lads awaited Plod's return .. And they were not disappointed with the results :E

[RedhillPhil]

TT
Further to serial 205. I also remember the SWO at Gaydon . Mr Matusjek - well done for remembering his name, I could only remember that it sort of rhymed with matchstick. I remember him complaining: "There are too many damned foreigners in this air force!"


Cor, there's a name from the past. I went to school at Kineton with his son, Leo.

[Treble one]

Was talking to a mate who was in and he told me this pearler.

Chap in his section (Bloogs) having a bad time (divorce) and was a bit skint. Decided to sell his greatcoat to make a few quid. Tells my mate who says 'err, not a good idea.....I know nothing'.

Well before ebay so puts an advert in the local paper. leaves rank insignia on etc. Tragically paper bought and read by the SWO. Steam coming out of ears, SWO rings Bloggs number (internal number at the station) to enquire about coat.

Bloggs answers phone, and answers a few questions from SWO, who then asks 'Do you know who this is? This is the SWO. Report to my office NOW'.

Bloggs immediately pops off to see the SWO, with his hat, and walks through the door to be greeted by a very stern looking SWO.

'1250!! Barks the SWO
'I was hoping for a bit more than that frankly sir. I was expecting at least 15 quid?'

SWO collapses in rage. Bloggs did get away with it though...

[Danny42C]

Treble one,

Don't know when that could be, but in the early '50s Monty Burton would do you a new Crombie (yes, Crombie) RAF Officer's Greatcoat for 15 Guineas. Not bad, either.

Fifteen quid for an airman's Greatcoat was pushing it a bit!

[Hydromet]

Slight thread drift but ISTR a post on here that a bunch of Lineys did much the same when they built a snowman outside their hangar and patrolling Plod in their landrover came round and deliberately demolished it by driving through it..

The snowman was rebuilt, just this time around a concrete bollard, and the lads awaited Plod's return .. And they were not disappointed with the results
Nothing new under the sun. In "Biggles Goes to School" he paints a cannon ball to look like a football(?) and leaves it in the path of a master who, he knows, can't resist kicking a ball. Obviously the start of a RAF tradition.

[Treble one]

Treble one,

Don't know when that could be, but in the early '50s Monty Burton would do you a new Crombie (yes, Crombie) RAF Officer's Greatcoat for 15 Guineas. Not bad, either.

Fifteen quid for an airman's Greatcoat was pushing it a bit!

I'm thinking this was in the 70's Danny? 15 guineas for an Officers greatcoat huh? I believe you had to buy all your own kit in those days but did get an allowance?

Best Regards
TO

[MPN11]

I'm thinking this was in the 70's Danny? 15 guineas for an Officers greatcoat huh? I believe you had to buy all your own kit in those days but did get an allowance?
IIRC, in 1965 I received c. £150 Initial Officers Outfitting Allowance, which provided me with No.1, No.5, SD Hat and Greatcoat (and a few oddments). I unwisely spent £115 of that on a car, and was paying the Tailor for some years afterwards!

TTN ... can you recall how much we received back then?

[Fareastdriver]

At South Cerney in 1960 we were given £10 to buy a Hat (Bates), gloves and a pair of shoes (Poulsen). Everything else was issued including a No I uniform with brass buttons and a greatcoat with KG VI buttons. Our flying kit consisted of an overall, soft blue helmet, white gloves and gauntlets; the left and right were different patterns made by different manufacturers.

At Oakington I was presented with KG VI wings.

[charliegolf]

At Oakington I was presented with KG VI wings.

FED, John Atkinson had G VI wings too. He seemed to think they were issued, 'to avoid waste'! Was that the reason?

CG

[ian16th]

There may have still been brass 'Kings Crown' buttons in stock in 1960, but the anodised 'Queens Crown' ones were available before Oct 1956.

That was the date I was posted from Lindholme and I'd bought me a set of them before I left.

[rogerg]

Has anyone mentioned Joe Bollard. He was at Halton. Stern but Kind.