Best freight Dogs jokes ever....

[Fish Head on Final]

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in
Yuma, Arizona ...

They turn a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - ALL
drinks 10 cents'.

They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come
on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?"

There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ordered a martini.

In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis... shaken,
not stirred, and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

The four men stare at the bartender for a moment. Then look at each other.

They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish
their martinis, and order another round.

Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again
saying, "That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can
stand. They have each had two martinis and so far they have spent
less than a dollar.

Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as
good as these for a dime a piece?"

"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, and I always
wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for $125
million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime...
wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same."

"Wow!!!! That's quite a story," says one of the men.

The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice
seven other people at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in
front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were
there.

One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and
asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "Oh, they're all old retired pilots. They're
waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half price."

[good spark]

mk airlines- that was a freight dog joke



gs

[RampTramp]

Freight Dog crew in a bar having a couple of ALBs (after landing beers) when the most strikingly beautiful woman walks in and sits at a table nearby.
Captain - 'I could!'
F/O - 'I would!'
Eng - 'Not half!'
Loadmaster - 'I have' :O

RT (ex loadie)

[alldaysushi]

Another group of Whale drivers walk in to the 10 cent bar, look at each other, Capt. says lets have a round, F/O says, let's wait till happy hour...

Safe Journies...Sushi

[Pow-wow]

Three freight dogs from Air France Cargo, GSS and Lufthansa Cargo sit in a bar talking...

The Air France Cargo guy says:
"You know guys, we have a pilot on the line, who was injured during the war, and he had to have his arm aputated. BUT, he flies better than most of the guys with just his one arm..."

The GSS guy says:
"Well chaps thats great, but we have a pilot in our company who lost a leg during the war, and he will outfly anyone I know..."

Finally the Lufthansa Cargo guy says:
"Ach, thats nothing, we have a guy who crashed during the war and was torn into so many pieces, that only his ar****le was left....and now he is our chief pilot !!!!":ok:

Now before anyone gets upset, I only chose 3 random airlines...insert your favourite airlines instead...happy landings;)

[spanish no fly]

Probably after me, RT!
SNF

[TacomaSailor]

Told my very blonde wife (college graduate who manages a very complex technical computing) environment) the joke. Her response?

"I don't get it"

scary but true

[freightdoggy dog]

Spot on RT...except I was on a flight CGN-DXB and when I went up to the flight deck with tea n buns early hours in me vest n boxers ....I realised that the Capt, S.F.O and F.E had all been servicing one of the Ops girls back at H/O !!!! Just loved the CRM on that long 6 hour sector :uhoh:

[DownIn3Green]

"LONG" 6 hour sector?????

[Best foot forward]

George Bush, the pope and a school boy were being flown to Washington when the plane lost all power and was going to crash. There were only two parachutes so there was a discussion over who should have them. GWB said "I am the most powerful man in the world and its important to world security that I live", he grabbed a parachute and jump out the door. The Pope looked at the young lad and said "I am an old man and you have your whole life ahead of you, take the parachute and live a long and honest life". The boy looked at the pope and said, "Its ok there are two parachutes left, Bush grabbed my school bag"

[Hahn]

What´s the difference between politics and flight attendants these days?

Politics succs!

[fingal flyer]

Crew on the pan after getting off a 727.
CPT:Windy isnt it.
F/O:No its Thursday.
F/E:So am I,lets go get a beer.

[maldito]

Hi strumpy are you having fun with al your jokes
Big kiss to the lady and the kids
Best regards from the sandpit(still Alive)

[Fish Head on Final]

Hi Crocodilo. we are fine still hanging in there.
Your family ok?
F O F.:ok:

[Fish Head on Final]

Pan Am flight out of Mumbai, India to somewhere. An Indian gentleman passenger was being a real pain in the ass and was constantly pushing the call button for this and that. At some point in the flight, the flight attendants had had a gut full of this guy and ignored his constant dinging on the call button. A cockpit crew member took a walk back to the galley and the FA's informed him about this guy and his incessant twanging of the call button over and over. On the way back to the flight deck, the Indian guy grabs the pilot and says the following (Insert Indian accent now)," I have been fingering the air hostess for 20 minutes but she will not come".

[2csonTriple7]

Wake All Day Hotel in China - ;

[Vejadu]

After takeoff you'll hear two thumps. The first is the wheels coming up and the second is the loadmasters head hitting the rack. If you only hear one thump, then your gear is still down.

[grounded27]

"Its ok there are two parachutes left, Bush grabbed my school bag"

An old favorite of mine. I have seen the punchline done with a bit more gusto "Its ok there are two parachutes left, the most powerfull man in the world just went out the door with my school bag"

Hey you all know how to make break away wire in a pinch? Drop a penny between two pilots.

[PH-MVK]

A stewardess walks into the cockpit and asks the pilots to ask if they would like to hear a joke...

So they say sure, go ahead. So the stewardess asks: What's the difference between a cockpit and a condom?

The pilots think and think but don't come up with the answer.. When they still dont know the answer she replies: A cockpit has two dickheads in it...

She's laughing her ass off but the pilots don't think it's very funny.. So the captain asks the stewardess do you know the difference between a bag of tea and a used Tampon?

So she says no... actually I have no idea!

In that case I'll have a cup off coffee!

[aviatorhi]

Not a "freight dog" joke per se, but one of my friends who flew pax in the 727 back in the 80s would have the FEs remove all the light bulbs but one from the auxiliary warning panel (bottom right on the FE's main panel) except one. They would then wait for the stewardess to arrive with their meals and would tell her that pushing the test button below those lights would show how she likes it in bed. The unwitting stew would play along, only to see "AFT ENTRY" light up in orange.