You might be a freight dog if…

[Fish Head on Final]

You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months

[grounded27]

Bull****, real FREIGHTDOGS take off at night and land in the morning mostly. Freight pushes the operating limitations of aircraft more than most airlines, need the cool dense air to maximize the load.

You might be a freightdawg if fuel is dripping out of your wings as you taxi out!

[Hockham Admiral]

If you were a Freight Dog flying the Belfast fuel would drip (or pour!) out of the wings most of the time......

[Hockham Admiral]

You WERE a Freight Dog when you were sent to Singapore for 10 days and returned home after 6 weeks!!! (Family not even informed.....)

[Fish Head on Final]

All the other airlines hold to see if you get in.

[FougaMagister]

YOU MIGHT BE A FREIGHT DOG IF…


- Your aeroplane was getting old when you were born
- You have not done a daylight landing in the past six months
- ATC advises you of smoother air at a different flight level, but you don’t care
- When you taxi up to the FBO they roll out the red carpet, but quickly take it back when they recognize you
- You call the hotel taxi to pick you up, and they don’t understand were you are on the airport
- ATC asks you to “keep the chickens down” so they can hear you talk
- Your aeroplane has more than 75,000 cycles
- Your company call sign is “Oil Can”
- The lady in the terminal locks up the popcorn machine because you plan on “making a meal of it”
- Your aeroplane has more than eight faded logos on it
- You wear the same shirt for a week, and no one complains
- ATC mispronounces your callsign more than three times in one flight
- Your OPS manager mysteriously increases your max take-off weight during the peak season
- You mark every ramp with engine oil
- Everything you own is in your flight bag and suitcase
- You lost your sunglasses a year ago, and haven’t bothered looking for them
- Your aircraft’s cabin is never too cold or too warm, always just right
- You never have to explain to anyone why there is a delay
- You’re the one with the wrinkled shirt because it doubles as your pijamas
- You’re the only one flying against the flow over the North Atlantic
- You have shirts in the laundry on three continents
- Your frequent flyer miles exceed your salary every year
- You can convert Euros to Dollars, Pounds and Yen in your head
- Your dog barks at you when you come home
- 6000 ft, 4nm finals don’t bother you
- You are cleared direct everywhere
- Your first altitude restriction on departure is FL250
- You start to wonder what’s wrong with ATC if you don’t have your landing clearance 50nm from the runway
- The first runway condition report of the day is given by: you
- You have never disembarked from your aircraft onto a airbridge
- You get annoyed if you’re No.2 in traffic
- You haven’t done a hold for so long you can’t remember how it’s done
- When Maverick and Goose get threatened with being thrown out of the Navy to fly “a cargo plane full of rubber dog****s outta Hong Kong!” you think: “that’s cool!”
- You have to wake up the Customs & Immigration agents at your destination
- You check into your hotel, and reception asks where the rest of the crew is
- You pick up every VOLMET en route, just to hear someone talk on the radio
- You get out of the cargo business, then realise it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made

Cheers :cool:

[freightdoggy dog]

FougaMagister...great list...but you missed one !!

You fall asleep on finals with a black coffee still in your hand, but dont spill a drop as you hit the deck !

[DBate]

- You get out of the cargo business, then realise it’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made

Especially liked that one! :ok:

[CargoMatatu]

Yep; I can relate to that one! :{

[K9nads]

You'd rather rest on the plane all day with 3 day old catering instead of that 'dump' hotel thats always under renovation and 'do not disturb' is translated as 'needs company' :}

[grounded27]

Great thread and nice list fougamagister.

[Zoner]

When you finally do get home you dial 9 for an outside line!

[smallbee]

When you get home and still carry food to your bedroom and even try to warm it with an iron box

[Alcione]

You are a freight dog when...
- The last pallet and the loading is finishing in five minutes, and four hours latter you are still nail to the ground.
- You arrive to the destination before (time wise) you departed.
- Your normal duty time is sixteen hours.

[helldog]

If you purchased a 1TB external hard drive just to store your porn......you're a feight dog:ok:

[maxfly1]

All the other airlines hold to see if you get in.

Good one, should go in the books.

You guys are too funny, good thing we can still joke about it.

[marsipulami]

You might be a freight dog if…

You are a Fish Head on Final ... :cool:

[theloady]

if you're on the W ramp in Kandahar looking at the rocket ball comin down just 50 meters in front of you :ok:

[ehwatezedoing]

You don't need the runway surface condition at destination because...
The only airport snow plow is broken and you are carrying its spare part :suspect:


(Twin Otter, Nunavit in winter)

[K9nads]

You wash your clothes in the hotel tub with hand soap, but can only dry it on the next turn around, hanging from a strap, as it's usually longer than your hotel stay.

[grounded27]

If you carry laundry soap in old hotel shampoo bottles to wash your underware in the sink with then dry them with the clothes iron. (they come out pretty good)

[BandAide]

You stand at the cargo door in a T-shirt, next to a Hazmat pallet, smoking a cigarette, drinking awful coffee, and watch the ground crew fuel the airplane at 4 oclock in the morning.

[SU-GCM]

You Know You Are A Cargo Pilot When | Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/You-Know-You-Are-A-Cargo-Pilot-When/141590782573970)

[Angel`s Playmate]

F-Street Station becomes your home address..:{

[good spark]

if your still waiting to get paid




gs

[old fart]

http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh48/Griff747/Freighter.png

cheers

[Fish Head on Final]

When you wake up in the middle of the knight ( AT HOME ) And you cant find the bathroom.

[Bob the Dog]

He Fish Head, my sister ain't keeping you busy enough that you have time to start this great thread???????

"when you're food taste like rubber for weeks because the cattle attendant was trying to warm up his rubber boots in the oven because he had cold feet and fell asleep while doing this"

great times.............. :ok:

[CAT TRACKS]

You steal the tea pot from breakfast because you are too tired to clean out the one you nicked last week!
Happy days eh Admiral.:ok:

[launchpad74]

gentleman . . . I love the jokes .. !! Can't add any myself, as I have never been a freight dog. But would love the opportunity if anyone can point me in the right direction. over 3000 hours, mostly in caravans, SA CPL, FAA ATPL, former Load controller (Loadmaster involved in flight ops) on most narrow and wide bodied jets.
Freight dogs are kings (without them, we dont get our stuff!!).
:ok:

[grounded27]

If you have prepared a meal from your cargo!

Hell, often better than airport food.

Another one is (as a flight mech or loadie), waking up to a sunrise at altitude and fixing/eating breakfast in your underware and enjoying a breakfast in the cockpit from a vantage point few can understand. Getting dressed in time to strap back in before we land.

Nothing like eating breakfast in your underware in the cockpit of an an aircraft just like it was your own kitchen as the sun crest's the earth...

[Best Angle]

You use shampoo to wash your underwear.

You have cooked frozen meals on the cockpit space heater cuz the oven was inop. (DC-8)

The FE hotwired the tip-over switch on the space heater so it would run facing up..

Your flight mech jams the hot water faucet on and takes a shower under the drain mast.

You have taken in-flight crew rest sleeping on a cargo net strung up like a hammock..

You have given ATC your drivers license number for the over-flight permit.

Manual reversion is normal operation..

You have changed your callsign in-flight at least twice..

Closed airspace does not mean us...

Requested tower visibility when RVR was too low..

Pumped extra fuel to the tank feeding the engine with the only operating hydraulic pump.

Used a VERY thick pencil on a chtistmas tree W&B..

Made pallets lighter so the jumpseaters could go..

Your FE "hid" extra fuel because he didn't think you put enough extra on..

More when I think of them...

[Doctor Cruces]

....if you can remember TMAC, Hunting, Heavylift, Emerald...................

Doc C

[cessnagirl]

I'm not a freight dog, but I'd love to be one!
I'm SOOOOOO jealous!!!

[Bob the Dog]

Waking up end finding both upfront fast asleep, to than work out with them that we were asleep for a looooooooooong time!

[L-38]

You use a plastic bag lined cat box for a toilet because the %#$ company removed the aircraft's lavatory plumbing to save on the big jet's maintenance and weight.

[L-38]

Crew's mandatory bottle of Tabasco sauce is located behind the cpt's seat back pocket (next to his life preserver) and is a check list item.

[Best Angle]

You have washed the dishes at Darwins...

You have sealed the leaking cargo door with wet blankets...

Coffee is a NO - GO item !!

[Best Angle]

You have given ATC a competitor's tail number when they ask for "registration number"
(for navigation charges)

Your VLF/OMEGA navs have both crapped out due to a runaway generator, never to be operable again..
(at 30W of course)

[BandAide]

You watch two sunrises on one flight, or conversely, you don't see the sun for over 24 hours.

[Best Angle]

lol.. Yup.. Take off in tomorrow and land in yesterday...

[sled dog]

You make coffee cutting off the top of a coke can, filling with water and spoon of coffee, and placing in galley oven ( because the other crew kept the hot-cup when handing over the a/c...)

[Heracles]

My two favorites both happened to me.......

1- when you know crew scheds had to have dialed 20+ numbers to get your room,, then asks "Where are you????'. "I don't know, figure it out and call me back" click.

2- when crew scheds asks "What Z-time is it where you are?" .... I sh*t you not.


The winner,, game,set and match....
If you've ever flown a flight were V1 was starter cut-out on #4....
--heracles

[Heracles]

It has also been argued that "flaps up" equals "equal time point". While this has merit in the "where are we going?" stage,, the "V1 = starter cutout on #4 rule" rules supreme in the "we are leaving here, now" phase.
A "true "freight-dog" knows this with out the explainations.
--heracles

[offa]

Daylight approaches are scary - you can see the terrain
Thunderstorms are useful for cleaning the windscreen

[main_dog]

Scary thought... I'm pretty sure freighter wings only produce lift at night... :}

[The AvgasDinosaur]

You have traveled from a remote stand to terminal in a police van without being arrested.
Be lucky
David

[Rick777]

Yup. Been there done a lot of them and only flew freight for about a year. Seemed like it was always a dark and stormy night in a broken down old hulk. Almost glad I'm too old to do it again.

[2 Whites 2 Reds]

I'm a freight dog because....

It's almost 11pm and I fancy a bacon sarnie and a bowl of frosties. At 8am this morning I could have murdered steak and chips!!!

[Big Pistons Forever]

If you've ever flown a flight were V1 was starter cut-out on #4....

:ouch:.............

[DownIn3Green]

If you've worked for TRANSAFRIK or Custom Air Transport...and let's not forget NAC (Northern Air Cargo)...FAR's are different in Alaska...so they say...