PA Announcements

[Exascot]

I have just posted a comment about PA Announcements under this forum and thought that it may be worthy of a new thread. Apologies if there is already one somewhere else but I can’t find it.

This is for genuinely amusing, irritating or worrying announcements either on board or indeed in the terminal.

I was once advised to listen into my first officer’s announcements as ‘I’ may not be too amused. I was, but it was not very professional. ‘Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen we will shortly be beginning our descent. Those of you with windows on the left will see a small square island; I have no idea what it is. Those of you on the right will see a triangular one; I don’t know what that is either. It is going to be really rough on the approach so hang onto your hats and we will see you on the ground’. He never got a command despite being an exceptional operator.

And, then there is this: YouTube - John Cleese - How to Irritate People - Airplane Sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJSey8HRUhU)

[Wannabe Flyer]

PA announcements interrupt the in flight entertainment and often times causes the show you are watching to reset to the beginning or you miss a scene from what you are watching.

Announcements are important for safety at the beginning and during the flight, if they are about the flight.

On a recent 2 hour flight there was an announcement every 7 to 10 minutes during the flight of which only once was it to return to the seats for safety reasons.

I heard about the owners favorite charity, his expansion plans and how signing up for his blinking frequent flyer program will earn me brownie points. Once the on board shopping opened then a countdown kept coming to tell us how we were missing out on the shopping.

Out of frustration i ripped of my headphones and chose to read magazine laced with similar advertisements.

Why have live TV individual screens and 100 channels to choose from if you cannot watch more than 5 straight minutes with it being interrupted.

NOTE: Nothing against the safety calls, but Pi$##d off with the other stuff that keeps interrupting my down time :}

Is there not a better way to market and hawk and pat yourself on the back without interrupting the show

[The SSK]

Two legendary announcements I recall from way back.

BOAC aircraft awaiting clearance to enter the runway for takeoff, as an incoming Pan Am has to make a go-around: “Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out of the right-hand windows you will see The World’s Most Experienced Airline [the Pan Am slogan] having one of its experiences”.

On a BA domestic flight, after takeoff: “Cabin crew, doors to automatic. Put the cat out”
“Doors automatic. Cat out”
On approach to destination: “Cabin crew, doors to manual”
“Doors manual. Cat says can he come back in”.

[ViscountFan]

Many years ago, on a British Caledonian (of blessed memory) 1-11waiting at the end of the Jersey runway, waiting for an Aurigny Trislander to land we'd had the usual pre-take off chat from the captain, who then forgot to turn off his microphone.

I could see the Trislander making a rather interesting looking landing on one set of mainwheels, whereupon our captain was heard to exclaim to the first officer, 'Jesus Christ, did you see that? One way to save rubber'.

Not strictly a PA announcement I suppose, but amusing nonetheless.

[Agaricus bisporus]

Why have live TV individual screens and 100 channels to choose from if you cannot watch more than 5 straight minutes with it being interrupted.


You probably voluntarily pay several hundred pounds per year to bring exactly the same crap into your living room via your TV set. Is that acceptable because you volunteered for it? If you don't like commercials, don't watch commercial TV, at home or on an aeroplane.

[Exascot]

You probably voluntarily pay several hundred pounds per year to bring exactly the same crap into your living room via your TV set. Is that acceptable because you volunteered for it? If you don't like commercials, don't watch commercial TV, at home or on an aeroplane.

I agree with Wannabe Flyer. Actually we do not have a TV at home, or electricity, so it is rather novel to sit in an aluminium tube with both. If I remember rightly adverts are a time to get up, go to the loo and make a cup of tea. On a jet this would not work with everyone getting up at the same time and the tea is made for you anyway. If you are about to ditch; sure it would be nice to know and a polite interruption of the film to invite you to put on your water wings is acceptable. However a promotion for the latest Mickey Mouse watch available through on board sales is not.