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lasernigel
30th Aug 2010, 10:41
Yesterday in history Faraday showed off the 1st electrical transformer in
1831.

Farady's law states that " The induced electromotive force (EMF) in any closed circuit is equal to the time rate of change of the magnetic flux through the circuit.

Electronics was fun to learn. Should imagine others have laws to share.....:ok:

green granite
30th Aug 2010, 10:47
Junk expands to fill the space available for it.

tony draper
30th Aug 2010, 11:03
Never piss on one of Mr Faradays transformers.:uhoh:

spittingimage
30th Aug 2010, 11:03
If I wash my car today, tomorrow will be wet and grey.

SI

Rossian
30th Aug 2010, 11:03
.......IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE - with your back to the wind the low pressure is to your left. The Nav who forgot the first four words and went the wrong way round the remnants of a typhoon will always remember the curses of his crew as the trip length doubled with a ground speed of about 35 knots. He remembered too late that we were in the southern hemisphere!

The Ancient Mariner

Ancient Observer
30th Aug 2010, 11:07
Man Utd. always get penalties when they play at home. At Old trafford referees never give the away team penalties.

Lon More
30th Aug 2010, 11:09
The accessibility of any part requiring maintenance is inversely linked to the frequency of that maintenance.

wings folded
30th Aug 2010, 11:14
Boyles Law:

P1V1 = P2V2

Coles Law:

Shredded cabbage and carrot in a creamy sort of sauce.

603DX
30th Aug 2010, 11:16
"The square on the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle is bigger than the square on the other three sides, but smaller than that on a wrong angled triangle, except on Tuesdays" ....... No, wait ........

:confused:

Parapunter
30th Aug 2010, 11:16
Customers will only remember the one week of the year you cocked it up.

tony draper
30th Aug 2010, 11:22
If you pull up in a strange town and ask the person standing on the pavement closest to your vehicle for directions it is a high order of probability that that person is undergoing care in the community.
:uhoh:

Lon More
30th Aug 2010, 11:25
The Broomie Law - water may be deeper than you think


edited due intermittent spell checker

Lonewolf_50
30th Aug 2010, 12:24
The Helicopter Pilot's Ultimate Law

If something hasn't gone wrong or broken yet, it is about to.

Preflight Law of the T-28B (Trojan)

If the aircraft isn't leaking oil, there isn't any oil in it, therefore service engine oil before proceeding.

Firestorm
30th Aug 2010, 12:36
Fleming's Left Hand Rule, and Fleming's Right Hand Rule for determining the direction of motion in a motor or the direction of induced current in a dynamo (the only flaw was that he didn't write a rule for when to use which of his otherwise excellent laws). The principle of putting thumb and first two fingers at right angles to each other has other useful applications too, and is useful for determining the direction of precession of a gyro, and something to do with weather systems which escapes my mind.

Rossian: I like Buy's Ballot's Law too :ok:

airborne_artist
30th Aug 2010, 12:38
The universal gas law - PV =nRT

Explains most things in life, from aviation to the after-effects of three pints and a curry :E

Bruce Wayne
30th Aug 2010, 12:43
one car on an empty freeway will get from one end to the other without hitting anything; two cars randomly placed, at some point they will hit each other.


oh, and an egg and bacon sandwich always tastes nicer than it looks.

Parapunter
30th Aug 2010, 12:45
Coffee, like Cognac and Brandy, never tastes as good as it smells.

goudie
30th Aug 2010, 12:54
If you eat an egg sandwich you will end up wearing a yellow tie

If you know you've (secretly) fcucked up, sure as hell someone else will know too

Toast will hit the floor butter side down

The cat will be really p!ssed off, if you drop it with it's feet uppermost

Flyingmac
30th Aug 2010, 13:04
Builders used 3-4-5 for centuries. Then Pythagoras spotted it and took all the credit.

Flyingmac
30th Aug 2010, 13:09
Rinch nails only work in multiples of four.

A bucket of steam is less dense than the guy you sent to get it.

Fire and brimstone
30th Aug 2010, 13:25
The law that states no matter what you do or say, crewing will still :mad: -you over, and get the full support of the management.

:{

airship
30th Aug 2010, 14:12
Ignorantia juris non excusat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorantia_juris_non_excusat) (ignorance of the law excuses noone)...

Thus, the law imputes knowledge of all laws to all persons within the jurisdiction no matter how transiently. Even though it would be impossible, even for someone with substantial legal training, to be aware of every law in operation in every aspect of a state's activities, this is the price paid to ensure that willful blindness cannot become the basis of exculpation.

Which is presumably the reason why in France, the socialist mayor of Paris has basically agreed to an "out of court" settlement and the state prosecutor "waiving criminal charges" over the long-outstanding charges against former President Jacques Chirac most recently. Noone really knows who knows what, who did whatever, or even if it was illegal or not. So Jacques Chirac looks likely to get off very lightly. There is also the statute of limitations. Perhaps the French socialists and the current governing party merely concluded an agreement "not to investigate (or at least, have properly investigated all of both their past activities) until further notice...?! So as not to alarm all the French voters (already quite paranoid about the breakdown of law & order generally, having their properties vandalised by "veil-wearing miscreants" apparently and then having to deal with the CRS (mostly unrecognisable under their helmets and balaclavas) who've come to their rescue. Could they be "one and the same"?! After all, I recall that it was in fact a French péloton of the local Gendarmerie that set fire to the paillotes in Corsica back in 1999? Going further back to 1995, it was the French "Secret Service" which sank the Rainbow Warrior. I ignore to what extent any of those responsable for these acts have been truly punished...:rolleyes:

Let me summarise therefore:

Thus, the law imputes knowledge of all laws to all persons within the jurisdiction no matter how transiently. Even though it would be impossible, even for someone with substantial legal training, to be aware of every law in operation in every aspect of a state's activities, this is the price paid to ensure that willful blindness cannot become the basis of exculpation.

They may draft the laws, vote the laws in yet remain mostly unaffected by any real application of the laws as our "elected-representatives"...?! :mad:

Bring back the guillotine...?! Salut! :ok:

goudie
30th Aug 2010, 15:45
If something goes wrong, the French are to blame
..................according to Drapers Law!

Storminnorm
30th Aug 2010, 15:58
Bernouille had a theorem.
Don't suppose that qualifies?

Gordy
30th Aug 2010, 16:05
From my archives:

The Laws of Life:
Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to it's desirability.

Mohr's Law of restrained involvement:
Don't get any on you.

Firestone's Law of forecasting:
Chicken Little only has to be right once.

Sander's Rumination:
Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

Chesterton's observation:
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Grierson's Law of minimal self-delusion:
Every man nourishes within himself a secret plan for getting rich, that will not work.

Radar's Fundamental Truth:
The grass is brown on both sides of the fence.

O's Law:
No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a project, the cost of the remainder of the project remains the same.

Captain Risser's Law:
If it's in stock, we have it!

Nowlun's Truism:
An "acceptable level of employment" means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable, still has a job.

The Law of Xerox:
Anything important loses it's value soon after being copied.

The Golden Rule:
Whoever has the gold or the pussy makes the rules.

The first Law of Management:
Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.

Jiminez' Maxim:
If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

lomapaseo
30th Aug 2010, 16:07
Stickin to school learnt

the heat of the meat is proportional to the angle of the dangle

Vitesse
30th Aug 2010, 16:20
the heat of the meat is proportional to the angle of the dangleYou must also integrate 'the mass of the ass' somewhere.

UniFoxOs
30th Aug 2010, 16:25
You must also integrate 'the mass of the ass' somewhere.

And 'The throb of the knob' too.

UFO

11Fan
30th Aug 2010, 16:26
Anything lost that you replace will be found the next day.

Bruce Wayne
30th Aug 2010, 16:31
No matter how hot she is, somewhere, some guy is tired of putting up with her sh!t.

11Fan
30th Aug 2010, 16:39
Bigamy is having one wife too many.


Sometimes, so is Monogamy.

flying lid
30th Aug 2010, 19:58
The actual law is, Philipp Furtwängler's final theorem.

"The angle of the dangle is proportional to the throb of the knob, as long as the urge remains constant", unless Sods law kicks in, of course !!

Remember trigonometry SOH CAH TOA (Sine=opposite/hypotenuse etc)

"Silly old Hitler cannot allways hit (our) towns on arrival"

Well, at least it has an aviation theme !!

Lid

lomapaseo
30th Aug 2010, 20:16
Remember trigonometry SOH CAH TOA (Sine=opposite/hypotenuse etc)


or: she can tell oscar has a heap of apples ...

Sirikit
30th Aug 2010, 20:36
It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

MadsDad
30th Aug 2010, 20:38
Franks Law #1: Never sleep with anyone madder than you are.

Franks Law #2: You can lead a horse to water but if you can get it to float on its back you've really got something.

Sirikit
30th Aug 2010, 20:40
Isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers?

niknak
30th Aug 2010, 20:44
I am wrong.

Rollingthunder
30th Aug 2010, 20:44
There is either other life in the universe or there is no other life in the universe. Either way I find it interesting. Arthur C. Clarke

If you keep your car or aircaft clean. you will improve your fuel MPG. (about 2.5%)

In number theory, Fermat's Last Theorem states that no three positive integers a, b, and c can satisfy the equation an + bn = cn for any integer value of n greater than two. Fermat's Last Theorum. (which was proved after 3 centuries)

DavidGeorge
30th Aug 2010, 20:50
My own law, discovered after a couple of years in Oz:
"The level of service received varies inversely with the number of times the tradesman calls you 'mate' in his first sentence"

SoundBarrier
30th Aug 2010, 21:04
If it Flies, F:mad:s or Floats, hire it - don't buy it!

Juliet Sierra Papa
30th Aug 2010, 21:33
If it Flies, Fhttp://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/src:www.pprune.org/get/images/smilies/censored.gifs or Floats, hire it - don't buy it!


:D:D:D:D:D

Now that made me spew Vodies n coke on me monitor.. :ok:

pigboat
30th Aug 2010, 21:40
Fermat's Last Theorem was formulated seconds before he pissed on one of Mr. Faraday's transformers.

Ascend Charlie
30th Aug 2010, 21:45
If all the cars in the world were lined up nose to tail, some P-plate teenager in a Toyota Soarer will still pull out to pass.

Miserlou
30th Aug 2010, 21:57
Richard Digance (where is he now?) had a thing to say on Sod's Law.

YouTube - Richard Digance - Sods Law (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEgntMs2qIY)

Brilliant as ever.

Verse 3:
A hypotenuese has a square on,
Which is equal, Pythagoras instructed,
To them sum of the squares of the other two sides,
If the triangle is cleverly constructed.

And that was the first geometric law,
But quite frankly I'm still at a loss.
Cos who gives a shit where the two squares sit,
Since you buggered off, I couldn't give a toss!

Hydromet
30th Aug 2010, 22:14
Munro's law (after Crawford Munro, late Prof of Civil Engineering, UNSW)
If you've had a flood, you'll have a bigger one.

And I was always taught "the heat of the meat equals the angle of dangle plus throb of the knob, over the rise and fall of the left ball."

Blacksheep
30th Aug 2010, 22:24
Politics is a practical demonstration of The Immutable Law of Unintended Consequences.

Then there's

MUPRHY'S LAW

lasernigel
30th Aug 2010, 22:50
Remember the basics as well...

Ohm's law states that the current through a conductor between two points is directly proportional to the potential difference or voltage across the two points, and inversely proportional to the resistance between them.

So resistance is ohms and conductance mhos.:ok:

North Shore
31st Aug 2010, 05:12
If it Flies, Fs or Floats, hire it - don't buy it!

And: If it's got wheels, t!ts or an engine, it will give you grief...

radeng
31st Aug 2010, 07:25
lasernigel,

We're not allowed mhos anymore. They're Siemens now - so anyone meaning to write 'mS' for milliSiemens must be careful not to write 'ms' for milliseconds.

Crazy, isn't it......

angels
31st Aug 2010, 07:50
In Canton, Mississippi, it is illegal to kill a squirrel with a gun whilst in a courtroom.

Oh, wrong sort of law....:rolleyes:

Cardinal Puff
31st Aug 2010, 07:55
Don't eat yellow snow.

Bruce Wayne
31st Aug 2010, 08:27
Sex toys are illegal in Alabama..


1 Oct 2007...


"Talk about sex toys is once again the buzz around Alabama. The United States Supreme Court refused to hear the Alabama sex toy case, ending a nine year battle for the right to keep and bear (well, more accurately, purchase) sex toys in the state. Sherri Williams provided the money quote in this AP article:"
An adult-store owner had asked the justices to throw out the law as an unconstitutional intrusion into the privacy of the bedroom. But the Supreme Court declined to hear the appeal, leaving intact a lower court ruling that upheld the law.


Sherri Williams, owner of Pleasures stores in Huntsville and Decatur, said she was disappointed, but plans to sue again on First Amendment free speech grounds.

“My motto has been they are going to have to pry this vibrator from my cold, dead hand. I refuse to give up,” she said.
Alabama’s anti-obscenity law, enacted in 1998, bans the distribution of “any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value.”

Barksdale Boy
31st Aug 2010, 08:36
Stand with your back to the bar in the northern hemisphere and Lew Parry's on your left.

sisemen
31st Aug 2010, 09:21
Lightning never strikes in the same place twice.....
http://images.zaazu.com/img/lightning-lightning-thunder-skeleton-smiley-emoticon-000611-large.gif

parabellum
31st Aug 2010, 11:00
Some Old Horses Can Always Have Their Oats Again.

Indian Chief has three sons and they are required to each go out and kill a Mountain Lion so that the skin can be the nuptial bed.

Sons A and B each come back with the required Mountain Lion Skin, but Son C comes back with the skin of a Hippopotamus, village elders are in uproar but the Chief prevails, the son must use the Hippopotamus skin as his nuptial bed. Nine months later the Squaws of Sons A and B each produce a child whilst the Squaw of Son C produces twins, which only goes to prove that the Squaw on the Hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the Squaws on the other two hides.

G-CPTN
31st Aug 2010, 11:13
Mountain lion / hippopotamus. :confused:

Do these 'Indians' live near a zoo?

lasernigel
31st Aug 2010, 11:15
lasernigel,

We're not allowed mhos anymore. They're Siemens now - so anyone meaning to write 'mS' for milliSiemens must be careful not to write 'ms' for milliseconds.

Crazy, isn't it......

Personally I blame the French!

However if someone got his mS and ms mixed up and got too many mS's for a lot of ms's he could end up like this......

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v284/lasernigel/electric-shock-1.gif
:ouch:

parabellum
31st Aug 2010, 11:22
Do these 'Indians' live near a zoo?


Don't be dificult G-CPTN, this is JB and pretty much anything is possible!:)

Kolibear
31st Aug 2010, 11:32
If things can go wrong, they will.

And they will normally go wrong when you are demonstrating how well they work.

(As anyone who has ever had to demonstate a computer software package is painfully aware)

Gertrude the Wombat
31st Aug 2010, 11:39
Customers will only remember the one week of the year you cocked it up.
I think you've heard the exceedingly mild watered down version of that one. The real law is:
The easiest way to lose a customer for life is to screw up just once, ever.

larssnowpharter
31st Aug 2010, 15:13
There are only three things that a certain in life:

1. DEATH

2. TAXES

3. NURSES

lasernigel
31st Aug 2010, 15:48
There are only three things that a certain in life:

I make it 4....you forgot birth otherwise we wouldn't be writing here.:D

Sirikit
31st Aug 2010, 18:12
Opinions are like a$$holes....everybody has one!:ok:

rgbrock1
31st Aug 2010, 18:49
Sex Laws in the U.S.A (ones still "in the books") (I kid you not)

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on.

3. It is illegal for husbands in Willowdale, Oregon, to talk dirty during intercourse.

4. Sexual intercourse between unmarried couples is illegal in Georgia.

5. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner is having an orgasm.

7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida. (And you thought
sheep shaggers were weird!)

9. It is illegal in Utah to marry your first cousin before the age of 65.

10. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

Loki
31st Aug 2010, 19:19
The odds of you making a complete "horlicks" of it when engaged in a task are directly proportional to the number of people watching you.

Pugilistic Animus
31st Aug 2010, 19:19
No person shall takeoff a large turbine transport airplane certificated after August 1958 under SR422B in the United States at a weight the greater than that listed in the flight manual which will allow that large turbine transport airplane to clear all obstacles .....Nevermind:\

lasernigel...you're the best:D:ok::D