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OFSO
8th Aug 2010, 12:01
Couldn't resist sharing this gem with PPRuNers. Who would have thought it ?

My worst holiday was when I went to Disneyland Paris with the kids. Everything was in French. You had to queue for ever to do anything and it was full of French people. The only good thing was, because most of them were French, I didn't get recognised. - Katie Price quoted in the 'Sunday Times', obviously not making the connection between "Paris" and "France".

Next week: Katie goes to the USA and discovers Americans live there.

Lon More
8th Aug 2010, 12:22
What's a Katie Price? We don't have them here either.

RegDep
8th Aug 2010, 12:27
One should re-read George Mikes' "How to be an alien".

The title story tells about an Englishman referring to other people in the bar as 'aliens'. In a bar in Budapest. The other people being Hungarians.

Now, don't ask what was funny with that.

RedhillPhil
8th Aug 2010, 13:54
:)Reminds me of my first in-laws who went on holiday to Austria.
"What was it like Ma?"
"Full of bloody Germans. Foreigners, the lot of 'em".
She never did understand.

radeng
8th Aug 2010, 14:27
Business trips frequently take me to the Cote d'Azur (yes, let's have some sympathy!) The hotel I stay at in Juan-les-Pins is on the beach: you can lie there in the summer at night with the window open, and drop off to sleep with gentle sound of the waves. (It's too cold in December.) Then about 3 or 4 am, there's a lot of yelling and shouting from a group of young drunks making their way along the beach to somewhere.


And they are ALWAYS bloody British!

They aren't there in December, though

jimtherev
8th Aug 2010, 14:48
:)Reminds me of my first in-laws who went on holiday to Austria.
"What was it like Ma?"
"Full of bloody Germans. Foreigners, the lot of 'em".
She never did understand.
Mind you, most Austrians feel that way, too...

Loki
8th Aug 2010, 14:52
Ah, cue the Monty python Travel Agent Sketch

hcCuBWXd-hc

V2-OMG!
8th Aug 2010, 16:43
Things you wouldn't expect to find in foreign countries?

Next week: Katie goes to the USA and discovers Americans live there.

And Katie might even find a few skinny Americans not immune to self-doubt, open political debate, or those quintessential cultural nuances.

Golly gee....fancy that!

sprocky_ger
8th Aug 2010, 16:54
Next week: Katie goes to the USA and discovers Americans live there.

Hope she will carry a:
-passport with fingerprints
-Criminal Records Bureau check
-curriculum vitae

with her. Also I guess she will have filled this multipage-online-form and visited the Embassy of USA. Did I forget anything?

Otherwise she will be returned without leaving the international airport area. :E

con-pilot
8th Aug 2010, 16:56
Everything was in French. You had to queue for ever to do anything and it was full of French people

Jeez, go to France and run into a bunch of French people, go figure. :rolleyes:

I hope she is not surprised when she goes to the US and runs into a bunch of Americans. :p

Loose rivets
8th Aug 2010, 17:04
The Dionsaur sketch!!!!!!! I thought I'd imagined it. For years I given a little cough before expounding on this theory what I've got. Nobody ever laughed. :uhoh:

BusyB
8th Aug 2010, 17:10
I hate to agree with KP but our experience of Disney Paris was equally offputting. Basicly it was never ending queues as the locals seemed to feel that you joined q's from the front. Spent several hours with other Brits passing locals to the back of the Q, all the while knee deep in fag ends.
Never again:)

hellsbrink
8th Aug 2010, 17:16
Well, C-P, she ain't exactly known for her intelligence. Actually, you could say her only redeeming features are silicone.

Just google "Jordan" and you'll see what I mean, and it says so much about a "newspaper" such as the Times when they actually print something about her...... "The Sun Without the Tits" is a good description of that pos.......

Parapunter
8th Aug 2010, 17:18
she ain't exactly known for her intelligence

Given her bank balance, I'd say you were about 180 degrees out there friend.

hellsbrink
8th Aug 2010, 17:41
People like her earning money does not equal intelligence. Just look at Jade Goody and how much she earned because of the same knucklescrapers. All it means is that she has good managers who exploit things, not that she is actually intelligent.

Parapunter
8th Aug 2010, 17:54
Really? I would suggest it involves a degree of shrewdness, intelligence and tenacity sustained over a number of years given a very slim degree of original talent. Still, you're entitled to your preju...view. And no, I can't stand her either.

BombayDuck
8th Aug 2010, 18:12
Well, on a completely different note - there was a discussion on Tim Tams once on Proon - and I happened to find them in a supermarket in Delhi! And relatively cheap, too.

It's something I couldn't find in me local Tesco! I did find Tunnock's Caramel Wafers though here, and I approve of them. Not exactly a foreign country for them though.

OFSO
8th Aug 2010, 19:41
"The Sun Without the Tits" is a good description of that newspaper


Sunday Times, today 8th August. A very serious article on improvements to Gatwick (London) airport. Illustrated by a most relevant photograph.....

http://i656.photobucket.com/albums/uu287/ROBIN_100/GatwickArticle.jpg

SoulManBand
8th Aug 2010, 19:47
Is this in order to get the British tourists going to Majorca a sunburn even before they arrive?

11Fan
8th Aug 2010, 20:03
Teeth..........?

Oh, I see them now.

My mouse automatically scrolls down. Must have that looked after.

Rule3
8th Aug 2010, 20:38
I expected to see Kangaroos in Vienna.;)

parabellum
8th Aug 2010, 21:17
Funny Australian Travel Agent Stories:http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/animations/kangaroo_country_md_wht.gif

These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism website and the answers are the actual responses by the website's official. Their travel agencies obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street when I visit Australia? (from USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK.)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK).
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.



Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q! : Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Gertrude the Wombat
8th Aug 2010, 21:24
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.
Good joke, along the "all brothels display a blue light" lines, but not so funny if anyone is actually daft enough to take it seriously, which someone asking those questions might be.

My kids had a close encounter with a snake in Queensland which, when we looked it up, turned out to be really quite nasty.

Shack37
8th Aug 2010, 22:14
I think they photo shopped the teeth.


Do photo shop sell teeth:E

tony draper
8th Aug 2010, 22:21
First time I went ashore in a furrin part I expected to see large cast iron pots for cooking Missionaries and such but that was foolish, things have moved on,even furriner have microwave ovens now.
:uhoh:

Blacksheep
8th Aug 2010, 22:26
The teeth are probably real and retain their youthful vitality due to lack of use. Check out the ribs on the young lady to the left. She probably hasn't eaten anything for a week or two, poor thing.

As for those Australian snakes, I reckon the lack of Boomslangs in Borneo is due to the King Cobras eating them all.

Shack37
8th Aug 2010, 22:44
Check out the ribs on the young lady to the left.


Wouldn't be worth lighting the barbecue for.

radeng
9th Aug 2010, 08:06
An American colleague once asked quite innocently (a propos the conversation some of us were having) 'Do Australians play cricket, then?'

Parapunter
9th Aug 2010, 08:13
To which the correct response is not lately...:E

Worrals in the wilds
9th Aug 2010, 08:29
First time I went ashore in a furrin part I expected to see large cast iron pots for cooking Missionaries and such but that was foolish, things have moved on,even furriner have microwave ovens now.

I worked with an indigenous girl from the Torres Strait Islands (where they probably still have a few Missionary pots stashed out the back :}) who said the best way to cook turtle meat was to put it in a dishwasher and run the hot cycle with no soap... apparently it steams it perfectly and is much easier than the traditional method :confused:.

I heard one Aussie pax comment on the number of Japanese people on her return flight... with JAL... :ugh:.

radeng
9th Aug 2010, 12:07
PP,

The question was asked at a time we'd just lost the Ashes........

onetrack
9th Aug 2010, 14:49
The way illegal immigration is going, you won't have long to wait, to not see any French in France, any British in Britain, or any Australians in Australia... :eek:

At least we'll always be guaranteed of seeing lots of Chinese, when we go to China... :)

Radar66
9th Aug 2010, 17:46
errrr... Don't you mean Aborigines? ;)

In the context, that, of course, strictly speaking, all 'Australians' are imigrants, or descended from, in some form or another? :E

Firestorm
9th Aug 2010, 17:51
I saw a Ferrari in Luanda in 1999. You could have hidden it in the some of the smaller pot holes, but nevertheless someone thought it was the right thing to be seen driving in Luanda. The was an AC Cobra too. Odd place Luanda.

MagnusP
9th Aug 2010, 18:49
BNP members. You wouldn't see them in furrin parts, surely.

flash8
9th Aug 2010, 21:32
When I were last in Uzbekistan... I managed to find four cash (ATM) machines in the ENTIRE country - all in Tashkent - (two of them in the Intercontinental, One non-working but looked new and uncared for on Broadway) and one in the Radisson.

Can anyone beat that!

jet_noseover
10th Aug 2010, 00:25
That lost B737, Flash. Can't tell you where though, or I'd have to kill you. :)

Saw few public phone booths with "yellow pages" on the chain still intact and fully working phones. Somwhere in Arizona in the middle to nowhere. I guess that must be just in case your cell is out of juice and you lost your cigarette lighter charger.... must be.

Blacksheep
10th Aug 2010, 09:07
In Brunei International Airport there was a free standing ATM near the check-in counters, plugged into power and phone points on the wall. Its been built in now, but it stood there for a couple of years without any bother.

Mind you, that's in a place where, in a hurry to catch my plane, I left my car unlocked with the key in the ignition one Friday night. It was still there on Sunday night when I got back!

Brunei. There's no place quite like it. :ok:

OFSO
10th Aug 2010, 10:07
BNP members. You wouldn't see them in furrin parts, surely.

Oh I don't know - seen quite a few Banque Nationale de Paris branches in France.....

BNP Parisbas was created through the merger of Banque Nationale de Paris (BNP) and Paribas in .... BNP Paribas is the largest bank in the Eurozone by total assets and number of frog's legs consumed for lunch each day. No, sorry, made that last bit up to relieve a boring not-funny post. Oh dear, Boring Not-funny Post.

Hat, coat, swastika-armband, etc....

MagnusP
10th Aug 2010, 11:25
OFSO: How about Beret, Norfolk jacket, Porte?

homebuilt
10th Aug 2010, 22:50
Couldn't resist sharing this gem with PPRuNers. Who would have thought it ?

My worst holiday was when I went to Disneyland Paris with the kids. Everything was in French. You had to queue for ever to do anything and it was full of French people. The only good thing was, because most of them were French, I didn't get recognised. - Katie Price quoted in the 'Sunday Times', obviously not making the connection between "Paris" and "France".

Next week: Katie goes to the USA and discovers Americans live there.

You always have to queue up in communist countries....:E;)

H., a "stinkin' cheese eater country" citizen but anyway loving his country

BlueWolf
10th Aug 2010, 23:24
Last time I went to Paris it was full of Morrocans :confused:

G-CPTN
10th Aug 2010, 23:39
Forty years ago I walked along a road in South Kensington one Sunday morning and none of the pedestrians were conversing in English - all 'foreigners' . . .

OFSO
11th Aug 2010, 05:45
The folk in Roses (Spain) who aren't French are Marooccan and the ones who aren't French or Maroccan are Dutch or Dinglish. This is a good time to go away....

Blacksheep
11th Aug 2010, 09:13
In our block there are eight apartments, two on the lower ground floor and two on each landing. Nineteen occupants, of whom only two are English. Including those two, four are British. The rest are variously Malaysian, Polish, Rumanian, Indian, Sri Lankan and Chinese (PRC). Everyone can speak English and we all enjoy a good BBQ out in the grounds. I'm all in favour of multi-culturalism - proper multi-culturalism that is, with no enclaves. :ok:

tony draper
11th Aug 2010, 09:24
Thing on the news this morning advice on various cultural taboos they furriners are pray to and how not to upset various ethnicities coming to the Olypics by winking at em and various other inanities that apparently fillem with horror ,are these media people daft? dont they realise my generation and the ones preceeding it managed to run three quarters of this world just by shouting at the buggas.
:rolleyes:

Blacksheep
11th Aug 2010, 12:50
During my time in foreign parts, and I've lived and worked (as opposed to just visited) eight different countries on three continents, I found that one is expected to conform with local customs and practices - or else!

Only in UK does it seem that we must bend over backwards and change our own time honoured customs to avoid upsetting those of foreign origin. I've seen an army officer grabbed by the police, taken to the airport and shoved onto the next departing aeroplane, sans luggage, money or passport for failing to pull off the road into a ditch when signalled to do so by a VIP escort. One chap spent a week in prison after being shunted from behind while stopped at a red traffic light. SOP - the accident couldn't have happened if he hadn't been in the country. A group of four English tourists arrested by the Vigilante Corps, marched into the nearest hairdresser's to have their hair shorn because it was too long. Another fined $50 for eating in public during Ramadan. I was beaten with rods by two Indian policemen for having the temerity to enter the domestic terminal in Delhi while wearing RNAC uniform. I was only saved from arrest by the airline's Airport Manager.

So, why should we change our ways to accomodate Johnny Foreigner? They'll just have to get used to not spitting in the street, urinating on the walls, smoking in public, eating our dogs and - that most heinous of crimes - walking straight to the front of the queue. (Mods -we really do need a tongue-in-cheek smilie)

Gas Bags
11th Aug 2010, 14:02
Blacksheep,

We must have lived in the same places. Your post brought a wry smile to my face.

GB

Rengineer
11th Aug 2010, 14:44
Blacksheep,

1. to prove that you're 100 times smarter than us furriners
2. to shine a beacon of light in those dark days of intolerance
3. because your police allows you to, while theirs doesn't
4. Why not?;)

Lonewolf_50
11th Aug 2010, 20:31
In 1990, I was in Malaysia during a port visit (Penang) and discovered much to my surprise that there were a number of American hippies, 70's throwbacks, wandering about.

Had some beers with a few of them, me in my white uniform, them in their garb, and very much enjoyed the little surprise.

Tankertrashnav
11th Aug 2010, 21:32
They'd probably been there since the 70's , Lonewolf, wondering when they'd be allowed into Singapore. Mate of mine, very respectable young man with shoulder length hair got stopped at the causeway over the Johore Straits and told he could either have a haircut or go back. Didnt make a fuss, just decided there was a lot more of Malaysia he hadnt yet seen and did a swift 180.