cabin tales of untruth

[atmosphere]

I have been flying for many years!

One story I have heard a lot and always thought was complete rubbish was about a heavily set woman flying United Airlines who went to the washroom....Remaining seated she hit the flush button on the toilet, because of her size she was able to create a tight seal between her body fat and the rim of the toilet causing a vacuum, thus when she hit the flush sucked her insides out...

Has anyone else heard that...

If anyone else can add to this thread by telling tales of blatant rumour and untruth regarding our working lives i'd love to hear it!!

[thetimesreader84]

Yes i've heard it, no its not true.

snopes.com: Stuck on You (http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/toilet.asp)

Plenty more on Snopes as well!

[Capetonian]

This has done the rounds too :

On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African Lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.

"What seems to be the problem Madam?" asked the attendant.

"Can't you see?" she said " You've sat me next to a kaffir. I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"

"Please calm down Madam." the stewardess relied. "The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do-I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class." The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin: "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class." Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues ... "It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person." With which, she turned to the black man sitting next to the woman, and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..." At which point, apparently the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the black guy walks up to the front of the plane.


The Truth:
This smacks of an urban legend and TruthOrFiction.com has not been able find any substantiation for it, so we're classifying it as Unproven! If anyone knows of any information about it, let us know.

[atmosphere]

I too have heard that one!

Another one I heard was onboard a MON A330 with the downstairs toilets.

A woman asked the steward to let her husband know she was ok, and would be right up, the steward did as he was told, only to be greeted with the news that the mans wife was indeed deceased and the coffin was in the hold of the A\C..........:sad:

[Basil]

I too have also heard almost unbelieveable tales:

The BA crew who immediately agreed to split the restaurant bill (and tip) equally.
The Cathay crew who ALL went out to the pub.
The Gulf Air crew who managed to leave a restaurant WITHOUT dancing on the table.

. . and you DON'T know where I live. :)

[ExSp33db1rd]

........almost unbelieveable tales:

The BA crew who immediately agreed to split the restaurant bill (and tip) equally.



I DEFINITELY don't believe that - I only had the soup.

[Cyber Bob]

.............and I only had a 'Child's salad and diet water'

[bondim]

I don't think this is true either...

Blind pax with guide dog boarded first, rest of pax waiting at the gate, looking down at the plane. Bright, sunny day.

Cabin crew asks blind pax if he needs anything. Pax says "Im ok thanks, Im jus worried that my dog might need a pee, anything you could do about that?"

So one of the pilots offers to take the doggie out on the ramp for a minute, while he does his walk around. He is wearing his hi-vis and sunglasses, as normal.

When crew call pax for boarding, dispather advises that pax refuse to board, as they have been watching the pilot walking aimlessly around the plane with sunglasses and a guide dog, and think the pilot is blind!

Would be very funny, if true! Wonder who made it up!

(Apologies, not a great story teller!)

[Flying Torquewrench]

I too have heard that one!

Another one I heard was onboard a MON A330 with the downstairs toilets.

A woman asked the steward to let her husband know she was ok, and would be right up, the steward did as he was told, only to be greeted with the news that the mans wife was indeed deceased and the coffin was in the hold of the A\C..........:sad:

Small correction Atmosphere. The MON A330's don't have downstairs toilets!

[bondim]

That is whu that story is on the "galley tales of untruths" !:ok:

[atmosphere]

Hmmm perhaps it was A MyTravel 330?

[ozangel]

Similar to the blind story -

On a turnaround at a remote south pacific island, a blind passenger leaves her 'stick' onboard.

Captain was going for a smoke, and decides to take it to her personally.

Said captain, wearing dark sunnies, descends the stairs with blind womans 'stick'... does his walk around, and proceeds toward the terminal.

A number of passengers waiting to board see him wandering around, and approach the check in desks demanding to change flights...

The captain's smoko break was spent in the departure lounge explaining the story and 'proving' that he was not blind.

[Hydromet]

That first story was certainly around in the 1950s when I was at school, but as I heard it, the woman was attached to the throne in a Qantas Connie.

[billnot]

When crew call pax for boarding, dispather advises that pax refuse to board, as they have been watching the pilot walking aimlessly around the plane with sunglasses and a guide dog, and think the pilot is blind!

A similar story did the rounds both when I worked for British Rail and London Country Bus Services, except that it was a blind train / bus driver.

One story that I believe IS true is that a crew (of a single deck bus) borrowed the white stick from a friendly blind passenger. With the regulation dark glasses on, the driver was helped to the bus by the conductor and helped into his seat.
Knowing some of the characters I worked with, I can well believe it.

[MarkSpeed]

The "woman downstairs but dead" story also went around at Virgin Atlantic. Though it was a dead man and it was the stairs to the LD-MCR crew rest area in the hold!

[demomonkey]

Even if this isn't true, it still makes me laugh!

An elderly lady was having her dog sent to her with ABC Airlines. When the dog was unloaded in London it was discovered to be dead. Fearing that the elderly lady would be extremely upset the employees took it upon themselves to visit the dog pound and find a similar looking animal and hope the lady didn't notice.

When the lady arrived to collect the animal the manager decided that it might be a good idea if the lady got to see the dog from a long distance and hopefully by the time she got up close she wouldn't realise the switch. As soon as the lady saw the dog, she said "That's not my dog". The manager said "Yes of course it is madam it says so here on the paperwork lets go closer and I'm sure you'll realise that it is your animal". The woman replied "I know that's not my dog because my dog is dead!".

The embarrassed employees then had to retrieve the dead dog from a skip but the lady decided to keep the replacement dog!

[Capetonian]

A couple of others, no doubt apocryphal but still funny.

A very haughty arrogant English woman on a flight to South Africa asked another passenger :

"And do you know anything about the domestic servant situation in Africa these days?"
"Oh, I don't think you'll have too much difficulty finding a job."

And another similar lady :

"Do you have anything for my throat, girl?"
FA appears with sharp knife on a a tray (obviously *BBL!)

*BBL = before Bin Laden

[wigglewash]

''in regards to the story about passenger who got moved to first class because he was racially refused to be sit next to from a white person to south africa...... ''

i heard that story few years ago from a flight attendant at work... then up til recently i was on a layover in india and a lady claimed that was her story and what happened on her flight to south africa.. i just had to bat my eye lids and secretly whisper to myself that your full of S*%T hehehehehehhe amazing!:hmm:

[widebody69]

One story I have heard a lot and always thought was complete rubbish was about a heavily set woman flying United Airlines who went to the washroom....Remaining seated she hit the flush button on the toilet, because of her size she was able to create a tight seal between her body fat and the rim of the toilet causing a vacuum, thus when she hit the flush sucked her insides out...

Unfortunately I had the pleasure (?!) of reading the manufacturers file on this incident and it's 90% true. The girl was 9 years old and very large. Obviously no insides sucked out but the file stated 'internal bleeding'. Happened in Africa, won't give you airline or manufacturer!

[FN-GM]

@demomonkey There is a similar story on only fools and horses.

[Lou Scannon]

The Lady in a toilet story started in the days of the Comet.

It went like this: The lady sat on the toilet during the descent and as the cabin pressure increased, the toilet bowl pressure remained the same...so she became jammed.

The cabin informed the flight deck who decided to inform air traffic.

The call went out that they had a problem because one elderly lady had become stuck in the lavatory.

London replied clearing them to enter the hold....from Monday to Saturday.