Help! Nervous Flyer Here :)

[kimmij]

Hello All!

I've always been an extremely nervous flyer. I travel from Phila, Pa, USA to Heathrow 2x a year and every time I'm more panicked than the last. I feel like theplane is going to blow up or we're going to crash. My poor hubby can't even close his eyes once while we're in flight b/c I'm such a wreck.

Now with the Sept. 11th attacks I'm even more of a mess. We're traveling back to London in November and I'm terrified. Plus, we'll be travelling with our 15 month old daughter for the first time so I'm 100x as nervous.

I thought I'd post here so that someone could provide me with some reassurance with two things: 1. the safety of flying in general 2. the safety of flying internationally (British Airways) after the US terrorist attacks.

To make matters worse - many Americans seem to be getting annoyed with the added security here (I certainly am not : )They even started cub-side check-in in ourairport again (PHL). In no time they'll be allowing box cutters on the planes again. UGH!

Thanks for any advice - I REALLY need it : )

-KJ :confused:

[Herod]

You've probably already heard all the bits about it being safer than the drive to the airport. Another angle: the vast majority of pilots are just ordinary people with homes, spouses, children, pets, hobbies etc. Speaking for myself (and I think most of us in the business), if I didn't think it was safe I wouldn't have taken-off. Enjoy the flight.

[PAXboy]

Hi kimmij, welcome aboard!

It is very easy for those of us that have been passengers for 35 years (and enjoy it!) to say, "Don't worry". If only it were that easy!

Last weekend, a woman expressed concern about flying and only social protocol at the time prevented me from saying, "You want to lower your mortality risk? Stop travelling in motor cars, either as a passenger or driver."

One example, if an airline has had a crash - then it is probably the BEST time to fly with them, as everyone is going to be on their toes!

With regards to kerb side check-in. That is, in my opinion, going to have very little saftey implication at all.

My personal view is this: Since no one thought of this idea before (using the plane as a flying bomb) it is unlikely that anybody else is planning it right now. If they start planning it, they will have to be even more careful than the first lot and it will take them well over a year to be ready.

IF this mob had more pilots ready - I think that they would have deployed them on the day, as the reaction of the USA was predictible.

THEREFORE, no problem to fly!

Lastly, in those 35 years and nearly 1,000 sectors (eg Phili to London non-stop is one sector) I have NEVER had an emergency.

NEVER had an aborted take off.
NEVER had an aborted landing (a Go Round).
NEVER had the captain tell us of a single problem (i.e. might have had them but none that they had to bother us with!)
NEVER lost cabin pressure.
NEVER had to divert to another airport because of a technical problem.

etcetera!!

Do ask any other questions that you might have!

:)

[ 01 October 2001: Message edited by: PAXboy ]

[kimmij]

Thank you Herod & PaxBoy!

[SLF]

kimmij

In the UK some of the airlines run "fear of flying" courses aimed specifically at overcoming people's flying nervousness. They last one day and include comprehensive briefings and statistics, and end up with a brief flight.

If you can find something similar, you might like to give it a try.

Good luck - if you don't enjoy the journey, then at least enjoy the vacation!

[GlueBall]

And if you're not in a real hurry to get to the UK, take an ocean liner. Besides, if the boat is large and comfortable you don't need a destination. :cool:

[Fraudsquad]

There are verious organic ways to reduce the stress of flying, some internet research should prove useful. I would have given details from a book I once had but a nervous friend who I lent it to before her trip managed to lose it. I only bought the book to help my friends in the first place...

Back in 1990 when the Gulf war was looming I travelled from London to Cyprus for Christmas holidays I was a little nervous and from somewhere in my mind I picked a thought of an Airbus aircraft being hijacked and taken to Larnaca (my destination). I thought, this could happen to me. Did it? No. Has it happened to millions of other travellers since that occurance? No.

The point is something bad could happen to any flight in the sky. Worrying about the possibility will at best make you consider which is the safest airline and at worst prevent you from travelling. Kimmjj, I think BA is one of the world's most safety/security conscious operators with the facilities available.

Be thankful that aircraft exist that can take us to the other side of the world in a day. Relax and enjoy the journey and remember it so that you can tell your baby the story about Sept 11th 2001 and how his/her fear-ridden Mother overcame the fear to travel to the UK.

Your ever thoughtful, no longer fearful.
FS

[ 02 October 2001: Message edited by: Fraudsquad ]

[BRUpax]

Kimmij,

You have already received some very good advice and there is little I can add but to say that I have been flying for 40 plus years, having started when flying was somewhat a little more unsafe than now. During the past twenty years I have averaged 60 plus flights per year. Many have been accross the Atlantic and also domestically in the USA. I have flown several times since September 11 without worry. My only problem is one of frustration at the somewhat paranoid security measures which wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to a terrorist trained in hand-to-hand combat. I swear to you that I feel 100 times more fear as a passenger in a car than in an aeroplane (airplane if your American ;) ). I will continue to fly and I will happily continue to fly both with American Airlines and United Airlines. A friend of mine who logged thousands of flights accross the world tragically met his end when struck by a tram. Don't worry about flying but do take great care when crossing the road!

[Eboy]

Good for you keeping at it and asking for help. There is great information above. Bring a toy and books for the child. United suggests giving a child something to eat or drink when the plane is taking off and landing. They say this is to help alleviate ear pain caused by the pressure as the cabin adjusts to the altitude.
Also, your airline can probably provide specials meal suited to your infant if you make a request a day or so in advance.

[ 04 October 2001: Message edited by: Eboy ]

[Nihontraveller]

Hi Kimmji,

I`ll join all those guys above with their good advice and let you into a secret. I have been flying regularly as a passenger for the last 10 years, at least every month and for some periods once or twice a week. And I am still nervous of flying and I bet that a lot of my fellow passengers are the same. I am also doubly nervous when flying with my family.

I have a few things that I do to make myself more relaxed and some of these might help you.

Get to the airport early, don`t rush, and do something interesting while waiting for the flight.(Shopping, lunch etc) Takes your mind of the flight ahead and stops you sitting there worrying.

Don`t drink coffee or tea. Keeps the stress level down. Don`t smoke either if you do.

Get your partner to take care of the kid(s) to take the stress off you.

Take a good book and read as soon as possible after takeoff.

Eat the inflight meal slowly. Takes up some of the time and helps you relax.

Don`t drink alcohol. Even if you think it makes you feel better it does not help.

Sit in an aisle seat not a window seat. You can even forget where you are after a while.

Those are some of the things that I try to do and these days I can take a flight without too much stress.


Hope it helps!

[sanjosebaz]

In the good old days (pre Sep 11), nervous passengers used to be invited to sit in a "jump seat" for a while, giving them the opportunity to see how easy life is up front! I wonder if those days will ever return, now that they are talking of making the cockpit some kind of Fort Knox environment? :(

[Wee Jock]

Hi Kimmij, I've been an air trafficker for 25 years and I've seen one aircraft crash in all that time (it was a military jet that crashed during aerobatics). Think how many car crashes you've seen, or the aftermath of. Sit back and enjoy the ride, and your baby will enjoy it, too. I took my own baby flying for the first time this year as well, and she loved it. Have a good trip. (And the next one, and the one after that, and...)

[PPRuNe Dispatcher]

One thing you might want to do is to go to your local flying school and take a "trial lesson" so you can see what is involved in flying an aircraft.

The last person I know who did this to try and overcome their fear of flying ended up quitting their job and is now training to be an airline pilot.

--Mik

[InFinRetirement]

kimmij

I agree with everything that BRUpax has said. I too have been flying for over 40 years - with never an accident or incident. That is because flying is safe. My skill, and that of BRUpax, and all other pilots, comes from the precise training we all received.

Relax! Flying is safer now than it has ever been and we trust to God to there is not another terrible act like that of September 11th. I have to believe that complacency is being eradicated almost as I write.

Think too of being in a car! Think of being driven by a competent driver. You get from A to B safely from a combination of good driving and safe conduct. So it is with flying. Pilots wish YOU to get to your destination, because they want to get there too. They take no risks.

Take the advice from two old pilots, flying is safe.

[Ace Rimmer]

All good advice, but I couldn't agree with Mik more, One of my relations had your problem. She was advised by her brother (Old man Rimmer) to take a flying lesson for exactly the reasons outlined above with the result that she's been not only a happy flyer but a pilot and a CFI for - gosh must be 25 years now...

[EGGD]

I used to have a fear of flying once, and do you know what cured it? FLYING. Maybe this is not right for you (afterall, you've flown alot anyway). But just flying and knowing your safe worked wonders for me.

Secondly, a Go-around was the most fun i've ever had, my heart never pounded so much!

Regards

Dan