Floppy Morale

[dwaynedibley]

So why is the morale of the busiest Gazelle squadron in the AAC on the downward spiral ?? Why is it people are commenting on the fact that so much has changed in recent months and not for the better.... Can't see why the floppy jocks who aren't getting any flying aren't snapping up the chances to go to the emerald toilet... or maybe I can.

[Helmut Visorcover]

Floppys have always been like that in any sqn. Its just magnified in that one cos it's bigger! :rolleyes:

We eat all the pies and they whine about which blouse to wear! Ops normal! :p

[ol_benkenobi]

It's because of who they let run it.
The NCO Mafia thrives in the next hanger along and they have no dramas apparently.
But then again, they have got b*llocks!!

[Helmut Visorcover]

Lets get it right ol_ben. We don't run it, we are merely there in an advisory role (Plt Sgt if you will). If that advice is not taken or allowed to be taken, et voila lunatics running the asylum!

PS. how’s the house and how are you managing without me?.....a lot better no doubt!!! :p

PPS. If you need a Lx 4 pilot, give me a shout, sausage side is interesting to say the least!!!!!
:(

Give me a bell.

[ 19 September 2001: Message edited by: Helmut Visorcover ]

[floppyjock]

Hay Helmut leave the real pilots alone. I know who you are remember.

Floppy

PS Ive got 3 pairs of desert combats for sale, I hear they might be handy for your next posting. And its not Cypres or BATUS.

[The Pilgrim]

Spineless Tw***

[Alfie Stenloop]

Well Mr Pilgrim thanks for the constructive comment! I believe that the word pilgrim means one who's on a journey/traveller. Well my son with consolidation and improvement maybe, and I say maybe, one day you may well make the grade and come across to the darkside. After all I was a Gazelle aircraft commander in 8.2 hours - how difficult can it be?

[ 21 September 2001: Message edited by: Alfie Stenloop ]

[floppyjock]

Who is the spineless tw*** ?

[CBR600F]

Look come on there only floppies can't we talk about some thing that actually matters!!

[Helmut Visorcover]

A fine one to talk, CBR. When exactly did you convert? (I dont mean one wing wonder conv!) :rolleyes:

[bad admin]

What trouble with the floppies, moral on a downward trend. I find this hard to believe. We know how much flying there is on the mainland (not), so why have problems out there. Is it those who have to be obeyed? :D

[murphy]

WHO CARES!!!!!!

Poxy Training aircraft!!!

Yours

Murph x x x :D :D :D

[bad admin]

Murph...tut tut....wash your mouth out with soap and water. Poxy..thats open to discussion, but certainly not a training aircraft. You have to be winged up large these days before you can get your hands on the mighty astazou!! :eek:

[Cardinal Puff]

Pilgrim?......hhmmmmmm. Wouldn't be one of those adventurous chappies from down Hereford way who sport the old winged tin opener on their beanies now, would you?


(Tongue firmly in cheek where aforementioned chappies can't get to it and cut it out.)

[murphy]

bad admin,

Sorry didn't realise there was so many "Look at me, cramming a year long course in to eighteen months, Oh and then a conversion to type" knocking around.
Were Poxy, always will be!!
And it will remain, forever, a Training Aircraft only in the minds of SOOOOO many!!!

Yours

Murph x x x :D :D :D

[ 27 September 2001: Message edited by: murphy ]

[bad admin]

Murph...You do seem to have something large and wooden on your shoulder don't you!! In my day the course was only ten months long....I was just wondering if you ever mastered flying the mighty araldite pursuit ship!? :confused:

[murphy]

I do!!! Luckily the one on the other shoulder keeps me in Balance......................Mmmmmm Balance!!!

Not much to master really, One engine, One Hydraulic system, three rotor blades and not even a tail rotor.

"Sounds like a permanent state of emergency to me"

Yours

Murph x x x

[Luft Hansit]

BA

Looks like you've entered a battle of wits unarmed old man!!!

L H

[dwaynedibley]

Of course, our Morale may be low we may fly a one engined Airframe but at least we fly it, and to a sufficient standard so we all grade average or above (on Standards) unlike our lard loving brethren.

Cheap shot I know but hey, what do I care. Didn't realise it would turn into the all too often Lynx Vs Gazelle Banter. All too often as its the same people saying the same things. My Choppers bigger, better, faster, etc....

Murph. I take it with the leg Inj you won't be volunteering to be in my syndicate again for Fifth Elephant or perhaps I was in yours.. (that and the fact its a long way to come for a cake and arse party! )
Dwayne

[Helmut Visorcover]

Dwayne, 25 hrs this month thank you very much..oh and while we're at it.. above average to boot!

I'd rather slam my knob in a door than fly 0.1 hour in plastique! I'm sure murph would agree (just how many floppy hours have you got?)

It just HAS to turn into the Lynx v Floppy banter. As where I am, we don't have floppies and I feel withdrawal symptoms coming on through not having my daily superiority trip with quiche land.

Sad fact is now that they are letting previous khaftan wearer's into the brotherhood, it's lowering standards big style! There used to be certain credibility to being a Lynx pilot, but now it's open to all sorts of riff raff. Very understairs if you ask me.

Gone are the days when you could talk about pies, beer and girlies till your heart's content. It's all fluffy kittens and knitting now!

Half of these 'new age' PC, lilly livered, pillow biting ex-araldite jocks couldn't even spell AFCS let alone eat their own body weight in Ginsters!

The topic of conversation usually consists of the latest article in 'Cosmopolitan' as opposed to having a bit of a wheeze at the expense of the unfortunate untermench plastic polers! There is definitely a void left in my life without the Gazelle fraternity in numbers to banter with. The 'new' convertee's are just not a good game of cricket.

DAAVN, please address this issue at your earliest convenience. May I suggest ordering all those who have more hours on Gz in their logbook than Lx to wear a large badge saying 'I'M A LYNX PILOT BY DEFAULT, NOT BY CHARISMA'. At least then we'll know what we're dealing with. Oh, they should also be locked in a small, dark room and poked every 3 hours.

Murph, hope you’re happy now!
:p
:D
;)

[murphy]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Thats Better!!

Dwayne,

Does that mean you were the one shouting"F**k, F**k, F**k" in the middle of a forest, or the one laughing at him with me!!??!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[CBR600F]

just read back a bit helmut, a long time before you me old fruitbat as well you know. Now less of this quibbling and more quiche banter thank you :D

[dwaynedibley]

That will have been me laughing at him with you. But was that before or after laughing at our Morale contingent from the RAF on the ever so difficult 'Tab' up that hill. Something about how many layers of clothing can you possibly wear and still walk!!

right then back to the banter, If no one is interested in the actual topic.
The following is not my own work I hasten to add just borrowed from the MOMIDS Message board
Is it true if you rendered a Lynx Pilot down you would have enough lard to make 7000 edible candles ?

[Helmut Visorcover]

10,000 actually Dwayne! If wit were a candle, a Gazelle pilot wouldn't have enough to illum a small box.

CBR, I do apologise profusely. I tried to E mail you the other night when I realised who you were. But Asbach got the better and I mailed some complete nonsense to my bank manager. I thought you were that Khaftan wearing CBR rider who’s daddy was something in the crabs. Similar handle you see. So any offence, I regret.

Any way the third brandy twin just mailed me (would that make us triplets!?) so we are now complete! Let the war begin! Any quiche eaters fancy trying your arm at some intellectual banter? Glove slap in face.

I think they are all logged on to www.cosmopolitanchat.com (http://www.cosmopolitanchat.com) .

Murph, you are duly appointed as an honoury member to the SWFBDTC. Although technically that would make us quadruplets!?!
:cool:

[murphy]

Cheers Mate!

Come on then Floppy Jocks lets "GET IT ON!!!"

Yours

Murph x x x

[dwaynedibley]

looking back (i could have played it differently), sorry I borrowed an ABBA LP from a lynx jock. I was reminded of a mighty lynx pilot who liked to take HER slippers and crochet down "south", to knit knee blankets for all the old farts that (dont) fly lynx. So dont sit there hanging over the sides of your chair trying to give us grief. From my experience, you need safety in numbers before you start giving out banter, two crews at a time cant do it, so i dont think the rest of you logged on to pprune can. Anyway, you all sound like the record i borrowed at the start, old, scratched, worn out and overplayed. PS murph,i am who you think i am, but not at the moment. Mars Bar anyone? :p

sorry, had to edit the word numbers. not used to working with anything bigger than one

[ 30 September 2001: Message edited by: dwaynedibley ]

[CBR600F]

Well helmet " I pardon you" now where's that rifle have some Quiche to pot. Can't believe you confused me with a kaftan driver!!

[Helmut Visorcover]

Safety in numbers? Bloody right, we fly with our mates and have a wheeze, who else can we share our fags with? Who'd want to fly on their own, bally boring if you ask me! Been there, done that, etc, etc.

As for the doris you mentioned, she's more of a man than your lot will ever be!

Knowing me, knowing you, ah haa. ;)

[dwaynedibley]

I would concede to the sloth on the sofa, as far as that 'girl' is concerned you are correct and given a choice, I’d rather race 10 Lynx Jocks to the fridge door than that particular jockess, although unless its in South Armagh all of you would be hard pushed to find it !
No more for me chef I'm full :)

[floppyjock]

Helmut.
Im sausage side on friday for a few days you going to be around or too busy eating pies to meet up.

Floppy

[Helmut Visorcover]

Floppy, you'll send my street cred through the floor if people knew I was conversing with you! Check your personal message thingy on pprune jobby thing.

dwayne, would the SAMA jibe be a similar one to floppies claiming they have zillions of hours NVG when in fact sat in a high hover over a very big city isn't exactly H21 stuff, is it? Cat 1 scares the crap out of me! Blah, blah, I have a lorry similar in size to the one I stash my pies in, full of ammunition.

Brandy 1, check in....you have control.

:cool:

[bad admin]

Helmut...for a bloke that was eight pieced by a non torque matching pilot, on numerous occassions, should you really be so aggressive towards members of the opposite sex!! And just think how much grief you're gonna get when you start to teach on the queen of the sky.
p.s Don't forget your thermos.. :p
p.p.s When did you fly solo.....the course don't count!!

[ 01 October 2001: Message edited by: bad admin ]

[Flarechecklevel]

Lets stop this BITCHIN' between fat N thin, single N twin, 2 crew OR 3. Will no one else say it.........The morale has nose dived in the past ** months because Kidder thinks he is God!! Let us get on with our jobs man!!! :eek:

[bad admin]

Being the new kid on the block and just finding my way around,can somebody tell me who this kidder is? :D

[Kidder]

What's yer problem? Didn't I sort things out for you?

And as for the originator of this thread ..........

Live long, and prosper!

:D

[Edited cos I'm celebrating]
[Edited again, cos I wanna see justice done]

[ 03 October 2001: Message edited by: Kidder ]
:rolleyes:

[ 04 October 2001: Message edited by: Kidder ]

[KentBrockman]

i wanna get back to slagging the girls, er i mean lynx pilots off. Just thinking about the NVG comment, does that mean the lynx scum dont log high level vfr transits, cos its not "real flying" or do aircraft fly themselves above 300' ????? Wheres the lorry with the ammo? I bet its the same old stuff. and another thing? what do traniee lynx pilots train on? :rolleyes:

[KentBrockman]

PS Kidder, the originator of the thread is still here. OOOOOOOOOOOOOO :eek:

[KentBrockman]

Dear Sysmanageruk, could you possibly be more vague. If there is a problem with some posts, name them so they can be put right. Under current Vague laws, it is an offence to state nothing and expect it to be corrected. :confused:

[TorkNcT4]

Uh Oh, wrong web site! :p

[Helmut Visorcover]

Kent, I learned to fly in a floppy. I also learned to drive in a Mini Metro, doesn't mean I'm rushing out to get behind the wheel of one now I'm all grown up! ;)

sysman, what you on about blokey?!?

[dwaynedibley]

There you are...
Do I know you ?
No, but there you are......Kidder, way off the mark (nice try though)
Kent, how right you are, I am still here.
sysmanukblah, As to being part of a legal process. I was once, it is called abortion, unfortunately as with most legal processes (correct grammar on a postcard please) it isn't always successful.
As the originator of this thread and the one who complained about how it turned into Lynx V's Gazelle in the middle can I just say... Some people need to take a little less caffeine and to finish with...........
Lynx can't fight.
and over to you lard lovers..... :p

[KentBrockman]

how can i be referring to an individual if i dont know who they are and are using an alias, MR smartarse sysmanagerukfg (does the fg mean i'm not referring to you directly, from a legal point of view of course?) If people don't like it, don't partake. Simple. Oh and i've just had my grammer spull chucked as well. What exactly is the legal process for, "calling someone who doesn't really exist" a name? I bet you can't be arrested for it, or perhaps you can. Anyway must dash the coppers are onto me, i called someone Sir!!! :p

[24/7]

JHC
Excuse me. Do you realise how our hierarchy make us look like to the rest of the world? Second rate organisation to most others. When our glorious Corps can get us some flying, when COs get a grip of the REME and MAKE them provide aircraft for us to train in then we may gain some credibility. Don't preach from your ivory tower. On a recent tour in the Emerald Toilet I worked my nuts off in that sqn only to be looked down on by the organisation we worked for, provided with second rate accomodation and equipment to do a first rate job.

Now let's look at the example set to us ......

exactly how many recently commissioned officer (LE) have jumped ship recently? How many highly qualified pilots have been turned down for commissioned in favour of *superb, wonderful characters* who have subesuently left?

How about, for once, we support those on the front line and tear our corporate eyes from that alluring bright star otherwise known as AH. Oh, sorry, has that turned into another farce? Must've missed that bit, just like the in-service date and the other targets our leaders have signed up to and missed the boat.

I assume from your name that you either work there or support the ideals of that set up, if so, get out of your office and visit a bit, talk to the coalface.

Off soapbox now, nice meeting you old chap, another G&T?

:rolleyes:

[24/7]

I can only assume from your inflammatory attitude that you don't accept the offer of the G&T. OK, I'll drink it then. :p

[Barnacle Bill]

i`M GLAD YOU FLING-WING MILITARY TYPES HAVE SUCH GREAT COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND ASTOUND US ALL WITH YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO PRUNE. I`LL STICK TO READING THE CIVILIAN COLUMNS IN FUTURE. DON`T COME TO ME WHEN YOU WANT A JOB!!

[24/7]

Wow. Well, that was impresive. Actually with your IT skills, if you handle your aircraft and managerial skills as well as your keyboard, but thanks very much but I don't think I want a job with you.

Where's that bowser?

Cheers, |<n0$

:eek:

[Edit. Because I know when I've made a mistake. Are you a Muslim too?]

[ 07 October 2001: Message edited by: 24/7 ]

[dwaynedibley]

Now I apologise for missing JHC's middle post, which appears to have been a little thought provoking and deleted for whatever reason.
Barnacle Bill, you will be sorely missed as a contributor to this thread... Oh no that's right you won't and why you felt the need to tell us you wouldn't be coming again.. all i can say is, F***ing civvies..........
As to headaches I have one at the moment that would kill a civvy but that is due to the usual Saturday night cocktail in the emerald toilet, you all know the score, well the ones that matter, Jock Nag, Rose Bowl, Dark Side followed by a large helping of JK’s Lard. Perhaps I should convert to Lynx.
Sorry what did I just say. I have a headache not a death wish…

:eek:

[murphy]

Believe me mate, you're not wanted!!!!!

Yours

Murph x x x :D :D :D :D

[dwaynedibley]

Story of my life...But then some things you are glad to hear..

[murphy]

Anyhow, I thought that Grown-ups (and I use the term VERY loosely) weren't allowed in the Dark side!!!

Believe me mate, you are far safer than me at the moment. Stuck in the middle of a Muslim country with my only protection being my superior skills.................................Oh, and a Battalion of heavily armed Ghurkas!!!

Yours

Murph x x x :) :( :) :( :)

[WindyMate72]

Well having worked a great deal with those Lynx types I feel I can comment on their stinking attitudes and also their opinion that they are superior pilots. From what I've seen they tend to live in an EGO bubble, that has obviously blinded them to their limited ability/intelligence, I mean how can anyone struggle to fly an aircraft that has that much power and all those management systems, I am also of the understanding that the A/C has an artifical intelligence system to make up for the lack of it in the two front seats!

Ultimately they all wanted to be RAF pilots but failed to make the grade, and enjoy the Lynx 5 job while you have it.

See Ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!!!!
:p

[ 08 October 2001: Message edited by: WindyMate72 ]

[dwaynedibley]

Murph,
Its the loughside we're not allowed in, not the darkside, don't know where the loughside is ?

Anyway I was just making sure there were no grownups in there !

[edited as I'm stoopid] :rolleyes:

[ 08 October 2001: Message edited by: dwaynedibley ]

[Helmut Visorcover]

Ooeer, that sounds like a big bitter and twisted bag of pomme frites mit mayo on your shoulder, Windymate. Or are you just jealous? Bus driver fiving.....na. More chance of getting a floppy on a Cat III course. :cool:

[CBR600F]

Helmut you git, Am soooooooooooooo jealous of you being in the perfect world. Becks, asbach, soft fluffy animals and NO FLOPPIES whinging about mincing. Loitering with intent to mince some more what do you guys do for crewroom banter out there now?? :D

[Helmut Visorcover]

CBR, we bait 61 as most of them are ex-khaftan wearers! ;) ;)

[CBR600F]

No way youve gone dark side not upstairs by anychance Helmut good grief have you NO pride!!!

[CBR600F]

Murph, your a man after helmuts and my own heart do I know you??? Am sure helmut could introduce us :D

[Helmut Visorcover]

Yep, upstairs now CBR. At least I am still giving bignose and Bart grief, just like the good old days! they're as near to floppies as I can get nowadays. :D

[angrycat]

Glad to see The Emerald Toilet is much the same as it always was. The a**hole of the world and Ive passed through.Still visit now and again with 2 engines and 40 000 pounds of sleasy thrust. Extra reverse for the Officers Mess. How is that newish CO shaping up then . Good Luck to those who might go to Afganistan. PS Look up Http://www.fieler.com/terror for great training Sim

[murphy]

CBR,

I don't know!!??!!

Helmut,

Do I know CBR!!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[Helmut Visorcover]

Murph, check your personal message thingy.

[CBR600F]

Helmut do I know Murph hehehe is it the Murph from 1 Bannan I am thinking off can't be he flies Big Condoms for a living now. Mind U better that than a floppy I spose. Glad to hear some one is keeping Herr Shnassser on his toes some body has to keep him in line, and as for flip top head well say no more, I hear he has a new spine now hehe :eek:

[KentBrockman]

cbr, is that the best you can do "better than a floppy i spose". Oh yes, I can picture the crew room now, all the billy bunters rolling round clutching their sides (those that can reach) marvelling at your sparkling wit. Don't give up your day job mate, it would mean one of us would have to convert. YUK! :p

[CBR600F]

Kent you muppet that was not an attempt at humour, although as a floppy man you would'nt know that would you. Not that your frat ever actually started humour always on the defensive. It was a statement pure and simple and am sure that if it is banter you want well turn over a new leaf and actually start some thing , be a first for a floppy guy. If not crack on mooching about in floopy hell wondering why you get all the good jobs ( Oh here's a map take it here) bloody demanding stuff and if you grow up a bit join in banter. It is just Banter you know I even though I don't want to admit to having floppy driver mates I do. But no you won't will you rather sit on side lines and pick holes in statements ah well never mind one day they'll ditch that machine of yours for something that ( NI apart) actually has a use apart from cluttering up the pan.
Helm old fruit bat is it me or do these people never avtually start banter!!! YHC I am offski :D

[KentBrockman]

CBR, you said it (thats not an attempt humour). Here's your handbag and can i have my worm back? How demanding is your job? Take four blokes here (whoppee) or fire a lump of concrete into the ground six foot infront of you and claim its a rouge. I bet you dont mind having a lift in the araldite pursuit ship when the twin engined torque monster becomes a single engined drip tray do you? Yes I like banter too, but do try some new stuff, your lynx banter (or should that be BUNTY) manual is out of date.
PS If I was you, i wouldnt admit to having floppy friends. I dont admit to having lynx ones (well one anyway) :D :D

[CBR600F]

Sad very sad yet again on the defensive............ please try just try for once to be original break the mold! Of course you have no Lynx mates if you are that bitter suprised if you have floopy ones but pleaswe for once try something new be humerous it might refresh you bitter state :cool:

[CBR600F]

and yes the above post has lots of typos but I dont care fingers and red wine don't mix. :)

[dwaynedibley]

So just to clarify, you are better than everyone else because you always start the banter...?
Please tell me I am missing the point..
Kent,
I don't think it is Bunty as even that has been brought up to date. I get the impression that someone has lost the key to the "banter" locker, unfortunately they haven't lost the key to the ration locker, the upshot of which is they are getting fatter but not any funnier.

simply a case of same s**t (Banter), different day.

I started this thread, but before you roll off the sofa and get your all too fat fingers near your all too small keyboard, I am quite happy for you to take the responsibility for starting the banter...

Watch you don't trap your ass in the door as you close it will you. :D

Oh go on, say something original please..

[KentBrockman]

To anyone about to read this, put the kettle on first. I refer the honourable CBR to his post about banter/being defensive, CBR "Not that your frat ever actually started humour always on the defensive. if it is banter you want well turn over a new leaf and actually start some thing , be a first for a floppy guy. If not crack on mooching about in floopy hell wondering why you get all the good jobs ( Oh here's a map take it here) bloody demanding stuff and if you grow up a bit join in banter. But no you won't will you rather sit on side lines and pick holes in statements ah well never mind one day they'll ditch that machine of yours for something that ( NI apart) actually has a use apart from cluttering up the pan.
is it me or do these people never avtually start banter!!!"
Edited by me cos i kept falling asleep (banter) i will give you a pound for every bit of "BANTER" you can find in your post, hell i'll give you two. Have a look in the dictionary (childs edition, with pictures) and find what banter means, learn it and try some. and as for a useful cab, Oh the lynx, its dead powerful (slick), its really fast (slickerer), it can carry 4 blokes (for 15 mins) and it can fly upside down (impressive, ill admit that) but like i said before, its a heap of junk that can do a loop, flown by AFCS with a couple of monkeys monitoring it. and its only got two engines to carry all the make up you poofs wear, cant drink, cant fight and have to be in bed by nine. Do you know what that sounds like...jealousy. :D :D :p
Oh and before any tree hugger starts with a lawsuit, its not a personal attack on Mr CBR cos i dont know him (yet) its just us and them (ugh) :rolleyes:

[Helmut Visorcover]

Sorry to butt in, Kent but banter must always be light hearted, funny, witty (razor sharp) and given out on equal terms. I think your post has succumbed to the 'bitching/slagging/chip on shoulder levels'.

If you really knew CBR, you would know him to be the kind of chap that never resorts to a slanging match of council estate proportions just because he couldn't think of anything clever to say. No I'm not CBR!

Your remarks with regards to the Lynx make me smile inwardly. When did you go back to flying Gazelles after you lengthy tour on the beast? Ah, you didn't, I can hear you say to yourself. Well, may you please remember that most fat boy lardy Lynx types have experienced the Araldite pursuit ship, that can not be said of the quiche eating fraternity the other way round. In my experience, Khaftan wearers tend to be frustrated Lynx pilots but for whatever reason have never quite made the break to 'stabilisers off' flight.

Here's a question for you. Given the choice when purchasing a car, would you go for the one with all the optional extras (cruise control, power steering, ABS) or take the Maestro 1.1L bog standard with ****** all but the drivers seat? Why have a dog and bark yourself?

I've decided not to bother placing the word 'banter' in brackets after certain sentences such as yourself because I believe those that get the joke don't need reminding!

Please, please, please keep it light hearted and don't fall into the inferiority complex trap that so many do.

All throb monster drivers know the short falls (long falls if your MSVRH is tonk!) of the cab, we can deal with them. I find the Gaz frat in general to be the ones that take the wee wee out of something the know little about. Whereas my 212.5 hrs plastique makes me more than qualified to dish out the superiority trip on you load of 'squat to pee' types!

Challenge you to a pie eating contest any day!
:rolleyes:


CBR, check your private message thing pretty damn bloody quick!

[ 12 October 2001: Message edited by: Helmut Visorcover ]

[KentBrockman]

Helmut, there is no way i would accept that challenge, you have more spare pie capacity than i weigh! As for my comments, please bear in mind the amount of non-plastique throbbers out there flying the missing lynx and you can see my point. As for CBR, no doubt i would love him like a bro, obviously the kind of bro that has a job as the village idiot.
You keep eating the CJD pies and i'll stick to my quiche and cosmopolitan for now, i might sell out one day if i need a tax free car. Its nothing personal, just business. :D :D

[CBR600F]

Hehehe Village Idiot Moi ??

I am not the one flying a plastic bit of crap!! :D

[CBR600F]

helmut post to normal mail please away from own comp :)

[dwaynedibley]

CBR,
After the last post may I just say.
"My dad's bigger than your dad."
I thought I'd say that as you realy are scraping the barrel, with "I'm not the one flying the plastic bit of crap".
How long did that take you to think up ?

I suppose you are at a bit of a disadvantage as you are not used to being on your own. If in doubt, get another pie eater to confirm humour content of comment before posting..

I suppose PPRUNE is the only solo time you get really... Pilots Course not withstanding of course, all quality solo hours there obviously.. :D

[KentBrockman]

thats right cbr, you aint. Its two monkeys up front pulling the strings in your tin coffin. Enjoy ;)
and you ride a hairdressers motorbike
:p
and before you ask, no i dont have a bike. Im happy with the size of my penis, i dont need an extention to prove how big it is. thats if you can still see yours past your belly

[ 13 October 2001: Message edited by: KentBrockman ]

[CBR600F]

tis not a penis thing Kent, clearly you just have no get and and go I think they call it. Bikes are not an extension of a penis, sorry you probably drive a Volvo so won't go there. Whatever your sport is tis OK but as yours is basket weaving well I'll say no more

[KentBrockman]

$hit, rumbled! :p

[Ron Fenest]

Kent..you are great ...CBR ..as far as i'm aware you dont even fly a Lynx anymore, come round for a coffee and tell me all about it (I don't live that far away)..Oh..and as for bikes being penis extensions..believe me -I NEED ONE and i have one..but alas, it doesn't work..it just goes dead fast.

I think you are all fantastic..NO.I really do..then again I have had 14 pints down Muskies :D

[Helmut Visorcover]

Ron, a realist, at last. Yeh, your right CBR no londer flies the throb monster. But he's been there and got countless T-shirts. Believe mem, he needs to prove f u c k all to anyone!

It strikes me that the only comeback on the quiche side of life is ' yeh but we still solo'. And your point is? I fly with my mates and have a wheeze everytime I flugel. Dont need solo time, means sod all to me. Been there and all that malarkey. Who else would pay for Cafe and Kuchen on a fly away?

Ever had to shut an engine down Kent? I like to get a unanimouse decision when I come across such regular events as opposed to me, myself and I. You just have to deal with the real world of mutli engine, multi crew CRM. Thats life, and I don't mean with Esther Rantzen!

I used to use the chat up line when I was a grunt that "I was a Lynx pilot from Hildesheim" (tres sad, I know)got me 5h!t loads of shags with the local slappers. I hate to think who would have been feeling my collar if I'd suggested I was a Gaz puke! By the way, I don't use that line anymore now I am a Lx puke. Aquadozer driver normally suffices!

To summerise, Gz types know that they are lower than whale poo but they still try to push their inferiority complex on us more rounded types. I'm happy, are you?

BTW, do the crabs have a situation similar to teeny weeny airways when it comes to Lx/Gz 'banter'? :rolleyes:

[murphy]

I'd just like to let everyone know how much I'm enjoying this thread.

I can't believe how much Floppy jocks try to defend their Battle sperm!!!

Trust me, it ain't worth it!!!!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[dwaynedibley]

Murph,
Trust you it ain't worth it, you should know as I seem to remember that you have had a couple of attempts at flying it !
How must that have hurt :)

Helmut,
Multi-Crew CRM, I'm sorry you are so right. I will stop this banter forth with. Still if you can't manage it on your own, get some one to help you.
As to the chat up lines, now that would be a good topic for a thread. I can't tell anyone I'm a pilot (even of an airframe as mighty as the Gazelle) they simply would never believe me. Under water wood welder, now thats a different matter.


I don't think the crabs have enough personality to have inter-farce banter, too busy tree hugging and worrying about crew duty time I'm sure. :p

[floppyjock]

Hay Helmut.
What do you mean 'Gaz types know they are lower that whale poo'. When I was visiting you last week you were the one behind the crew room bar making me the coffee, and right at home you looked too. How about some of these chocky bickies you keep hidden next time.

Regards
Your bestest friend
Floopyjock

PS I love flying in the Lynx but I must try landing in one sometime.

[HeliAviator]

Helmut, if you managed to get loads of sha99s in Hildeshiem saying you were a Lynx puke then they were either deaf, stupid or a tanky. No decent bird would fall for that line, I know I tried before you.

Badger

"Any landing that you walk away from is a good one"

[KentBrockman]

helmut, your right, CRM is the way ahead, thats why some of the bunters in the toilet cant be trusted to fly with each other. Mind you if i had an engine failure, i wouldnt need to discuss which lever to pull back. Dont get me wrong, we need you guys you won the war for us, who else could have got rid of the EC Pie mountain, but dont play your part up, you need two monkeys up front, one per lever and you still get that wrong :p and as for paying for cafe and kuchen, i dont think paddy is that accommodating at the minute

Murph, you had to go back on the throbber(s), its no use having a gaz with two crew and no fuel cos you put us over the aum :D enjoy the sun and ill see you soon

ps Helmut, i know what you look like and slappers is all you get no matter what line you use :eek:

edited cos i thought of something else

[ 14 October 2001: Message edited by: KentBrockman ]

[neilk]

All this Banter is making me dizzy, to think you used to have to go 9's to avoid speaking to Chicken leg nonce's, mind you the Gem pursuit ship was always easy with Dvr & talking baggage, I heard it was only changed to allow below par Floppy jocks to get Twin time, remember you fly on your own yeah , but who wants to fly with you. LONG MAY THE BANTER GUSH

[Helmut Visorcover]

flyingrock, heard you on the wireless the other day. Errr absouletly poptastic mate, eerr niiice. Pop in next time your in ETUO.

And now my all time fav of all time, Maximum overdrive and you aint seen nothing yet...mate. Groovy!

And an autograph!!!! :cool:

[ol_benkenobi]

Helmut me old sparrow.

Still "teaching ze home economics. To you, a Lynx Jock, ze humiliation must be unbearable!!"

Send me your personal email loser (via private wotsit on here).

And yes, I do know who DwayneDribbley is!!

Edited due to......Becks.

[ 17 October 2001: Message edited by: ol_benkenobi ]

[neilk]

Send three n fourpence, the AAC defectors are starting a punch up with me
@ APACHE/TORNADO NAVS,, big guns rquired

[dwaynedibley]

Ol ben,
You know me, Oh really. I only dribble after a pint (or two). So do tell. :)
Private message thingy being the order of the day. After all I have been misidentified once or twice already. I can't see the point in guessing or trying to guess who people are, or claim to be. What is the point in having an anonymous newsgroup if people are constantly saying, "I know your name" (you have to say it in your best North Belfast accent to do it justice). The few people I know on here have chosen to tell me or it is by shear coincidence, or in Murph's case having spent a glorious week together in the Galloway forest saying "Arse" a lot. These days we simply don't have the opportunity to interact with our lard loving brethren, although some things are welcome in the change in the emerald toilet, the demise of fifth elephant is definitely a step (or several hundred) in the right direction.
Another thing is, as anonymous as this is, any point I have brought up here I am more than willing to sit and talk about over several beers, in fact if any body who is capable, wants to pull up a beer and discuss them any of the bars at alderbananas on most of the nights of the weekend (that is days 5,6 and 7 for the floppies). I am more than game, in fact we probably have already... :)

[edited 'cause I can] :p

[ 18 October 2001: Message edited by: dwaynedibley ]

[dwaynedibley]

Gem engines, 4 degrees or not. The fact remains Lynx Pilots still can't fight!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

[Helmut Visorcover]

Dwayne, you will one day see the light. It's not the airframe we fly (I refer you to Future Lynx thread) but all to do with attitude, personality and generally how we complete ourselves as a person. May I refer you to virginity.

We pride ourselves on the fact that niff, naff and trivia do not present an overwhelming factor in our state of being. To put it in laymens terms (floppy language), we don't whine over total boIIock5 and have more important things regarding life to think about (how many incident reports have you filled?)!!!!!

:rolleyes: :cool: :p

[ 21 October 2001: Message edited by: Helmut Visorcover ]

[dwaynedibley]

Helmut,
Unfortunately I have had to fill in several incident reports, though quite why that means you hold life in any higher regard I don't know.
As to it being a state of mind not a state of airframe, its a good job given the state of your airframe. ;)
So Lynx Pilots don't whine then ? Do they wipe there arse when they go to the toilet ? Or is that part of the tantric magic as well ?