Zaps/Stickers

[Firestreak]

Some years ago, there were many humerous or clever zaps/bumper stickers/able labels about. The (original?) classic was simply

"Fighter Pilots do it Better".

A couple of others that followed were:

'Happiness is Kinloss in your Rear View Mirror'

At Gutersloh after the Lightnings left and the Bona Jets moved in:-

'Eat a Harrier Pilot, after all 2,000,000 flies can't be wrong'

What have you got??

[Skylark4]

I still think the one I have in the back of my car is spot on:- Glider pilots do it quietly.

I really liked:- Give Blood......Play Rugby.
Mike W

[15/15 flex]

Eighty Four Coarse - Thrusting Into The Nineties...

You had to see the zap to really appreciate it......I believe many Staish's at cranwell had it painted over.

Any of you chaps out there?.......

[positive_rate]

Still don't think you can beat the current ELUAS one.

Logo the BT bloke holding a pint instead of a trumpet thing and "It's good to Squawk (7700)" !!!

Look out for this coming to a ski-lift near you soon.

[Lucifer]

How about best place you've put a zap as well. Got one on the old space shuttle booster at the lookout point at Kennedy. Probably now removed by fun police.

[BGinner]

Nosecone of the A4 in the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum hangar deck mockup - Yorkshire UAS haha

[Gainesy]

12Sqn Buccaneer groundcrew at Honington painted up the immaculate RAAF F-111 visiting for Aunty Betty's Jubilee do at Finningley. The Aussies stopped over at Hon just before or after the event, can't remember.
Anyway, 12Sqn's badge is a Fox's mask & the paintjob on the Pig was of a Fox with a rather large penis giving one to the Aussie roundel's kangaroo and saying:"Say Beep, Beep now you Bas*ard".
There was also a Bona T-bird that came back to Wittering from a French exchange visit distempered overall in pink and white polka dots.

[Perky Penguin]

"Jet Noise - The Sound of Freedom" still rings true. Cars at V*ll*y bearing stickers saying "British Force of Occupation - Anglesey" were banned by the staish many years ago!

[jayteeto]

"69 Course, the taste of things to come"

[EESDL]

79 cse 3BFTS
"The Foucan Tuckers"

My favourite by far was devised by some course of 5 studes (4 male, 1 female)
"20% Flap"

[SPIT]

There is a Classic from 8 Sqn re the convertion from Shack to Nim stating
I WOULD RATHER HAVE 8 SCREWS THAN FOUR BLOW JOBS.
Also I saw one re the Harrier stating ITS A LOT LESS BOTHER IN A HOVER. :D :rolleyes: :eek:

[Guinevere]

15/15 Flex

Still got a mug, but too embarrassed to bring it out in public these days. Painting of zap in crewroom last as long as first visit by the Staish.

Have to concur with EESDL (first time ever) 20% flap takes some beating.

[ROGERTHAT]

At kinloss there was a fake squadron badge with a Nimrod behind bars it simply said "HMP KINLOSS" and "No Parole" as the motto. strangley that got banned after about six months.
To all those who have escaped we salute you.
To all those that haven`t try the tunnel in the shower room in D block mums the word. :D :D :D

[Gen. Bombdabastards]

As A Caravanner (yes I admit to it - waiting for the fallout), I had a sticker in my caravan window reading...Happiness is a clear road ahead.

[Oggin Aviator]

In the early nineties LUAS got a Queen's Flight 146 grounded back at base for 2 days for a full airframe search :eek: after a Squadron zap had been placed inside the port undercarriage bay on a trip to Woodvale.

Same APO also stuck two see-through zaps to the headlights of the staff car of the Staish at Leuchars during one happy hour on Summer Camp. When he came to drive off, it was like 2 Batman signals on every building he passed! How we laughed, even after the reprisals ! :)

[Teenyweeny ATC Cdt Cpl]

There's one or two of Dubya's finest flying KC-135's around with "This Object the Property of **** ***** Wing Air Training Corps, If Found Please Return to ****** ********" after RIAT 2000 at Cottesmore last year...I don't even think the bloke that ende up with one on the back of his hat noticed... :cool: :cool: :p :p :D

(edited because I realised it might be a bit incriminating in the light of other "appropriations" at another RAF station, namely Camp Cranditz/Kosovo later that year...)

[ 28 August 2001: Message edited by: The Squawking Spamcan ]

[MSF]

LIBYA - Lakenheath Is Bombing Your Ass !
a nice one from the 80's

[B9]

Harrier Force Germany during one of the many deployment exercises.
"1939-1945 The Big TACEVAL"

[Hairdefender]

Support Search and Rescue ....Get Lost!

[Brian Dixon]

Happiness is a big chopper...... :eek:

[Night NVG Goggles]

There was an all male Nav course about 4 years ago. Course badge the silhouette of a woman crossed out and "BSE FREE"

[XM147]

An ex-student of mine gave me a copy of his course badge (No 14 GE Course)

SEMPER IN EXCRETO SOLUM PROFUNDUM VARIAT
a rough translation... Always in the sh*t only the depth varies!

[ADIS5000]

As far as best locations go, we zapped the roof of the Cystine Chapel (spelling?(My excuse is vino related))in the early 90s with a large 56(F) zap. Took a serious human pyramid and a lot of surprised tourists but t'was surely worth it! :)


Agreed 20% Flap is excellent!! :D


Cheers ADIS :cool:

[kbf1]

Had some 1 Regt mates with a spurious Canadian connection who put maple leaves on everything, and who arrived one morning to find the maple's replaced with ganja leaves :p

[BEagle]

Never thought I'd hear the famous 14 GE motto again! There are other hidden symbols on the zap - the crane is giving the 'entry' recognition with one 'wing' (we took the p*ss out of masonic brotherly grips in those days) and a two-fingered salute to Wg Cdr OT with the other! The mate who came up with the motto (Dick Whizzbang) had studied Latin at Oxford as well as having been a rowing blue - Milo Wildpig sorted out the zap. Dick also came up with a motto for 'one flight' whose Flt Cdr had flown Lightnings - it translated as 'Let us praise One (flight) for its better work' - 'Laudeamus Primus Pro Melior Opus' or something like that. It took ages before the penny dropped and Les H*we discovered that it really stood for 'Lightning Pilots P*ss Me Off!'

Good show 'lads'!! Wildpig - are you still at Kidlington??

[ 29 August 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[Ray Dar]

At a RIMPAC in Hawaii a few years ago an OZ maint Sqn with a dog as an emblem carried out some midnight artwork on a Japanese P3. Amongst other things there were little dogs paw prints coming out of overwing exits etc and across the wing.
After a slight correction in etiquette, the paw prints were removed, but only with water based paint, only to have the feet reappear on the trip home after flying thru rain.
Apparently it wasn't funny.........Apparently

[John Eacott]

One of the most comprehensive zaps I saw was to a USMC F4 of VMFA-531 which had the good fortune to cross deck to Ark Royal, whilst operating in the Med.

Mintoff was PM of Malta, and had just declared the US military unwelcome. We had a number of USN aircraft cross decking, and duly launched them all back to Forrestal prior to entering Grand Harbour, Valetta. All except the F4, which went U/S on the cat every time it was scheduled for launch. Eventually it was struck down to the lower hangar, amongst the Buccs, about an hour before we entered Valetta Harbour.

Needless to say, the Marine crew thought all their Christmasses had come at once, and fully explored the joys of real CP's aboard a carrier with a bar for the next two weeks.

After a day or two, the chances of a stray Maltese spotting the US markings was considered slim, and the F4 was transferred to the upper hangar, where the 892 black hand gang worked on it. What a good idea, let's give it an 892 tail fin :D whilst we're at it.

The disguise was so good that the US markings were covered with brown paper, and the USMC F4 put in the deck park with all the other RN F4's, ground run in full view of the passing traffic, and not spotted.

First task of the FD crew on passing out of Grand Harbour, launch said F4 home, no unserviceabilities to be considered! The cab belonged to the squadron CO, and was taken all the way back to the USA with it's 'unique' tail.

http://www.helicopterservice.com.au/photos/US%20Marine%20Phantom%20RN%20colours%2006%20onto%20waist%20c at.jpg

[MightyGem]

Lynx TOW...17 inches of penetration, 4 times a minute.

:D

[Roger D'Erassoff]

On top of the Great Pyramid of Giza there is an incongruous looking wooden tripod supporting a wooden flagpole. On the very top of this flagpole, staring up into the sky above is a 30 Sqn Palmtree Airlines zap placed there by 4 Sqn members wearing full Arab dish-dash. Took some smooth talking to arrange that!

[Ali Barber]

Around 1980, 11 Sqn zapped the bomb on the French nuclear strike alert at Creil, just outside Paris. They also pinched the Tricolore from outside SHQ, but that's another story.

[The_druid]

Just after Berlin Wall came down, E.German Fulcrum (imaculate condition for the time) visited V*ll*y where it was given a CXX crew zap with the moto 'Das Hunders Pimmell' (spelling not quite right!) in its undercarriage bay. (Translates as 'the dogs Kn*b') Wonder if the ground crew saw the funny side ? :D

[Doctor Cruces]

We had peace protesters outside Eastern radar at the time when all the cruise missiles were coming into UK. Just because we has a USAF officer there the idiots assumed it was a US base and picketed it with about 100 people, vans etc etc, cut holes in the fence and all sorts.

I managed to zap their Bedford Dormabile with a six inch RAF roundel that stuck like wotsit to a blanket.

Also, rumour had it that there was a zap on Sydney Harbour Bridge proclaiming that this was the limit of Midland Radar overhead.

Doc C.

[ 02 September 2001: Message edited by: Doctor Cruces ]

[f4phixeruk]

Kinloss in 1979. One of 43's F4's was zapped with a dayglo c*ck complete with boxing gloves.
43 also had the 'FIGHTING COCKS DO IT BETTER' zaps at that time.

[Jed A1]

USN Tomcats squadrons, "Anytime Baby"

Ammended during Libyan operations to, "Anytime Ghadafi"

[grey_plane]

The greatest zap I have seen in recent history occurred at last years AFL (Aussie Rules Footy) Grand Final. Now for those who aren’t aware, this is a huge affair, huge television coverage and perfect for max public exposure for a zap and our esteemed Roulettes managed to pull off a cracker. They stuck a Roulette’s sticker underneath the cup so when James Hird (winning team captain) lifted up the cup, and cameras went wild, what should be very neatly showing but a perfectly positioned Roulette’s sticker.

[helmet fire]

At Oceania NAS (USA) at the end of the Gulf War, there was a sticker placed in the bottom of the mens urinal. It was a red/white target with a picture of Saddam in the middle. Around the outside were the words "Drain your vein on Saddam Hussein"

[1.3VStall]

"You are now entering the Midland Radar overhead" - I spotted that in the Gents' urinal at Kings Cross station in the 1980s!

Back in the 1970s (when I was still playing) I had a bumper sticker "It takes leather balls to play rugby".

[uncle peter]

NAS Miramar (MCAS?) 1997 o club little boys room.

USMC zap "some people are only alive cos its against the law to kill em"

[EGDR]

An old 750 NAS BOC course badge was a naked lady with a hand covering the 'important area' and the quote ' ** course crack navigators'

[greenie]

Surely you have seen the one being sported by Lynx jocks these days:
Wastelands Lynx - Crash Test Dummies!
Written around the outside edge of the crash test yellow / black circle and usually worn on the helmet.

[Roy Alflyt]

Saw a funny zap at Shawbury for the CFS(H) course which had a "Social Hand Grenade" emblem in the centre and "Chop for Job Security" along the bottom.

Funny, funny how?

[BEagle]

Amazing how my phrase 'Social hand grenade' has gained popularity around the mob! First invented to describe the social skills of a navigator also known as 'Claymore' (as in mine) back in the late 80s! Many years Before PPRuNe!!

[dwaynedibley]

With the introduction of the Lynx MK 9 (wheeled) an AAC squadron (654 ?) came up with the phrase "SKIDS ARE FOR KIDS". Someone from another squadron wrote underneath one such phrase "AND WHEELS ARE FOR C**TS, DELIVER DEATH NOT SOUP". I sure some fat boy will be able to name the Sqn.

[MightyGem]

It was 659. When they arrived in Bosnia for the first time it quickly became: If it's an "S" lynx, it's a Mk9
:D :D

[Warthog 1]

During the Southeast Asia Wargames, many cars in the States sported bumper stickers reading "Hanoi--Return our POWs. After the POWs were released, those of us toiling at a Florida F-4 Training wing were blessed with a new commander--who had been in "jail" for many years. Although the normal experiences gained through moving up through the various levels of command had, through no fault of his, been denied, the AF rewarded him with command of four fighter squadrons and all that went with it. The result was disastrous--strange decisions and flights of fantasy which destroyed morale and undermined the performance of the entire operation. After about 18 months the bumper stickers started to appear. You guessed it: "Hanoi--Take back our POW."

PS-He's a Senator now. Are there any surprises left?

[TqNrT4NgGreenlightCWP]

An old favourite was the T-shirts sported by an AAC Regiment with a morale/retention problem ("surely not!" I hear you chant). CO banned the wearing of shirts with the legend "will the last man to leave XX Regt AAC turn out the lights". The next shirt simply said "Click!"