Wokka-tastic

[Dunhovrin]

Friends of mine in Crawley have sent me this:. .. .The News Wednesday February 13, 2002. .. .Low-flying Chinook sparks fears. .. .Shoppers are shocked by RAF chopper. .. .SHOPPERS had a lucky escape when an RAF heli-copter narrowly missed a Crawley superstore as it pre-pared to land.. .The military Chinook came within 40ft of B&Q in London Road on Tuesday lunchtime, shattering light fittings in the store below.. .Store manager Richard Marshall said: "It narrowly missed the roof of our building. Luckily it didn't land on the roof as it would never have supported the weight of a Chinook.. ."The downdraught created a wave effect over the roof which knocked out a few light fittings, causing them to fall to the shop floor. Luckily it's a fairly quiet part of the store and no one was hurt.". .Louise Owen spotted the Chinook from her mum's home ii, Ewhurst Road, West Green, as it swooped just above the house at 1230pm.. .Mrs Owen, 33, said: "It was so low we thought it was going to crash. It frightened my little boy so much he started screaming and crying.. .The floor was shaking. We were really shocked. It was much lower than you would expect it to be - about 40ft above the ground in Reynolds Road, behind West Green shop Then it went higher and flew off.. .A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence revealed the military helicopter was en route from RAF Odiham in Hampshire.. .She said: "It was authorised to land at Crawley Hospital, which has a landing site at the Territorial Army base in Ifield Avenue, West Green, and was a routine practice landing.. ."We have received two com-plaints about the incident. We have a claim procedure which the complainants will be made aware of.". .Mr Marshall has contacted the MOD to ask for a halt to heli-copters flying over his store in the future.. .He said: "Having had a lucky escape once, I don`t want the building shaken again.". .. .Good work boys – spreading the noise inside the chain links. I always wished I could do that as well in Percy. About time a few more taxpayers got to here the sound of freedom. You may be glad to know that my mate’s teenage son and friends at a nearby school thought it was brilliant.. .. .Finally – whose chopper was it? Obviously a crewman’s if it could frighten people at 40’.

[Gainesy]

Moral.. .Don't buy your light fittings at B & Q, they're obviously a bit flimsy.

[Biggles Flies Undone]

One has just gone past my window in the City - all light fittings still intact and nice to see the chaps getting some in on a lovely spring day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" />

[Talking Radalt]

B&Q LORRY IN SLOW MOVING TRAFFIC SHOCKER!. .Tonight motorists along the Axxx were delayed by several minutes by a slow moving B&Q lorry, which was blatantly blocking the road along which they were trying to travel unhindered.. .One of the drivers affected, Mr T Radalt of XXXXX said: . ."I was bloody-well scared out of my DPM pants. My nodding dog's head stopped nodding and at one point I thought the driver, who was so clearly on drugs or something, was going to crash in to a near by hospital for disabled asylum seeking lesbians. The out-of-control lorry swerved within 10 microns of my car and I should know, my eyes were re-calibrated only yesterday. These maniac drivers should be banned I tell you. After all there are so many experts out there who can do what these people do, only far better and without all that expensive training, I mean how hard can it be? Reckless, that's all they are, wazzing around without a care for anyone but themselves, screeching tyres as they go (ok I made that bit up but I'm sure they try you know). And the noise was really quite loud too, I mean had I stayed within six inches of the lorry's exhaust pipe for a whole week I might have been left with a slight ringing in my ears. I had to turn my car radio all the way up to drown it out. Anyway must dash, I'm off to buy some new light fittings...from B&Q". .. .A spokesman for B&Q said:. ."Look mate we couldn't give a flying ***** , all we want is your money, ok, if us going about our lawful business inconveniences you, well tough luck matey, our trucks are bigger than your car. We've got a complaints procedure but to be honest I've never known of anyone who actually answers that phone number written on the back of our trucks, now can I interest you in some slightly damaged light fittings?". . . . <small>[ 25 March 2002, 21:58: Message edited by: Talking Radalt ]</small>

[Dunhovrin]

Good Call.

[Jointery Boy]

Can we use an Apache as a HLS clearer / complaints leveler for the mightly Chinny? Or just tell the crewman to "in your own time at winging civvies, who've never been east of Dover....go on" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

[Mmmmnice]

Get your facts right TR - it wasn't B&Q, and they used a disc cutter - at least that's what my heroic mate, who was there, told me ...................bah humbug