Wo ist Helmut??

[murphy]

Is it just me, or has young Helmut Visorcover fallen off the face of the earth!!!!!!
In fact, so have most of my favourite allies!!
The forum seems to be a Crab-orientated noticeboard for complete b****cks lately!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[kbf1]

Murph

Helmut was deployed somewhere about 6 months ago and hasn't been back since.

One sad loss was NGenfire who threw in the towel after that complete bollox thread "Are there any pilots", and frankly I don't blame him. As he said, he comes onto this site in his free time to enjoy himself, and when he stopped enjoying being here because of all of the flaming from a few individuals he had to ask the question "Why bother"? I have NG's email if you want to get in touch.

[murphy]

Thanks, that would be good, just send it to the mail address on my profile.
I know Helmut went to a tax free haven, but that doesn't stop him from e-mailing his FRIENDS!!!!
Good to talk to you the other day,think I've worked out who you are now.

yours

Murph x x x

[ 20 August 2001: Message edited by: murphy ]

[Alfie Stenloop]

Rumour has it Helmut has had to relocate due to the lack of quality scenery for his porn films and also the damp weather was playing havoc with the tash, last seen the porn mobile was departing to the east at speed. Anyway mate how's the body?

[ol_benkenobi]

:D Probably as large as ever :D

[murphy]

HA, DE, HA!!!!!!!!

Getting better quick!!!

Glad to see you're still monitoring the pages though 'Ol Ben'

Yours

Murph x x x

[Alfie Stenloop]

From what I understand it was one of Murphs fatboy wrappers that obstructed the drivers view, thus causing the accident!

By the way the Sqn lard locker is healthier now since a certain person has departed! :cool:

[ol_benkenobi]

It wasn’t hard mate. Do the jock nonce so that I can get his job. You were well briefed before hand.
Transcript from embassy:
“although the driver was known to be a fat-lad this still didn’t provide him with sufficient protection from the gazelle sponsored suicide Toyota. As much as the fleet wide mission was endorsed, DAAvn still could not ensure that the jock was removed from the equation. Suffice it to say, Newman was a lucky f**ker and given half the chance most people would have wished that…………he was still in the crash!!

[murphy]

What are you trying to say??????

Yours

murph x x x

[ol_benkenobi]

Joking Pete, wouldn't want anyone hurt!

[ 26 August 2001: Message edited by: ol_benkenobi ]

[Helmut Visorcover]

Just found this thread and it makes me feel wanted....Ahhhh.

Just to let you know I have just purchased a DVD and have accumilated approx £200 of your English pounds worth of 'educational' material. Ol_ben, I know you'll be interested in that!

The scenery is soooo much better for 'filming' and am currently producing my latest release. The pimp mobile is on it's way out as I have moved on to DP scenarios which, as you can imagine would prove to be cramped to say the least. If you were present at the Jock Nag prior to my exile, you will know that we ran in to some 'production difficulties' due to some of my stars getting the wrong end of the stick and the main star having to break into his own house!!! You aint seen me, roight! Squared that one away (just!).

I feel right at home with the 'recce troop tashe' here now, I might even grow the old ****** back! Just need to purchase sandals and white socks. As you know my grasp of the language is fluent porn, ya fantastich, Ich comme, Ich comme, I seem to get by in the local with only a few odd looks.

To be honest, it's a bit of a culture shock. We went on something called exer..exersi....exercise the other week, which was nice! Das Frau sorted me out though and dug out my puttees, 37 webbing and a felt covered canteen. What's Cmbt 95?

Flying is OK, bit like falling off a bike (Duke 748 @ 90)...it hurts a lot and doesn't happen that often (like I give a sh!t, ATPL sorted! are you?). Gut bungee is about the same size as the Emerald toilet but with better weather so any one who decrys the NI mafia should try and experience IMC on gogs at 70' with nothing but the makers name on the clock, no IF option (25 mins of fuel, op compromise), bugg3r!(soft and squelchy Dave, I'm looking at you!).

To the RAF, if you have no idea of what I'm rambling on about, start with reading 'NI a Soldiers Story' you might get a rough idea for a useful CTR with that, then read 'Bandit Country' to complete (gives you useful grids and all that!!) and also allows you to speak in authority of 'having been there'. Oh, and then do three years on the ground just to get an idea of how Harry grunt feels when you don't show up cos 'the mets a bit iffy'. Ol_Ben, preytell privatley on the Wokka saga of last month. (Qualified, Degree in underwater soot juggling).

Its great here wearing green all day long (I have a green fleece and pants). Apart from that, I love it or should I say Ich liebe dich, Ich comme! A holiday is a holiday after all! And it's nice not getting debriefed on Pprune postings following a ropy IRT. That'll be me that will! Not seen much of him lately?

Thats all for now from the SASAI. (concerned a few so far!)

Murph, I have mailed you! Where's my boots?

Ol_ben, you need to get out more. Nuff said.

Get in touch @ the above mail and we'll chew the murphy stuff, sorry fat.

[edited to have a last dig at the crabs]

[ 19 September 2001: Message edited by: Helmut Visorcover ]

[The Mistress]

Hurrah!

I can look forward to a good laugh on Saturday mornings after Helmut's been on the Asbach on Friday night. Glad you're back to shake up this b.board. It's been getting somewhat booooooooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiing lately. We've missed your colourful language and er ... style ;)

[floppyjock]

Helmut, you back in the land of the tax free Mercs? If so prepare yourself Im coming out soon to stock up on my videos.

Murphy were you once there with 65who if so e-mail me.

Floppy

[CBR600F]

helmut you nazi buully boy you and your tash back there good grief tis a wonder they let you back. Am sure that your piccy has been taken down off the train station walls now so you should be safe. say G day to your long haired CO.
A Plank ps All spelling mistakes are the fault of red wine OK

[Helmut Visorcover]

Still riding that Zundapp scooter I see CBR? How's things with you? Mail me if you will.

Tash is gone! :D

[The Famous Eccles]

Helmut you old scrote!!
Need a copy of the DVD I am asuming its a tourist info thing with all the talk of scenery and all that,oh hang on a mo ,For a minute there I forgot who I was talking too,sorry, didn`t intend to wreck your reputation.
hows your Alpha Callsign,Still as shy as ever?

[Helmut Visorcover]

This is great, just like a good old Friday night in the Jock Nag, all the old gang are back (with the exception of CBR who is a Floppy quiche eater and we would never openly socialize with him, you know what they say about fat chicks!)

Doing the Darkside later???

Domestic sunray is in the Krankenhaus at the mo, nothing serious, shes out tommorrow so I'll be chucking all the pizza box's away and squaring my pad up massive style otherwise I'm up Sh!tze Strasse in a grosse weg!

Onya, hows the House and all the little people that fill it?

Hey this could be a Jock Nag reunion thread (CBR, we might consider letting you become an honoury member if you promise to stop wearing womens clothing).

All those in favour, check in. :cool:

[ol_benkenobi]

S'your round!!

[murphy]

Thought I was round!!??!!

Sounds a good idea though Helmut!!!

Yours

Murph x x x

[CBR600F]

Hehehehe Zundap Quiche eater helmet MOI!!he cheek of the man. Specially coming from a Gay bar loiterer who actually owns up to once been a floppy driver in his past ewwwww!!
The Tash gone bloody hell end of an era there but I spose you can always use a spanial for a Brandy soaker instead. Your partner in brandy due to come out there soon as well so eyes down for the big boche gang bang on a friday night think I'll have to put in a flying visit to ensure lowest possible forms of behaviour are being strictly adhered to. Tsuss :D

[CBR600F]

Oh and by the way I am keeping my womans knickers on thank you, took bloody ages to nick erm of you helmut but i appreciate what you taught me about how to stop the frilly bits tickling the dangly bits cheers :eek:

[Helmut Visorcover]

CBR, I see your command of the English language is as stunning as ever. So much for a Public School education.

Floppy driver? Sorry mate, not me, only ever used it as a training hack.

I hear my twin is not coming now (that should save the old liver for a couple more years). If you browse this site mate, let us know. If I mention Umbungplatz, Doncaster and Asbach, you'll know who I am! (Did you ever get those rings off your T-shirt?)

Domestic fuhrer is now out of the funny farm and is sat next to me now. She sends her regards to all that know her. :eek:

murph, got your piccie of the landscape, just like SAMA really!

Floppyjock, let me know when your inbound and we'll RV at B.Lipp.

Onya, I just bet your sat there reading this forum wearing, mmm let me guess....a grey shirt, grey jeans, grey socks and a pair of hush puppies. Am I wrong?

Ol_ben, how’s the other 'alfs pussy? Still as furry as ever?

Alfie, you got a date for plank Sqn yet? See you at the Deathstar no doubt.

Mines a pint of Asbach (naturlich!)

[ol_benkenobi]

She's promising to use the wax more.

[CBR600F]

Hmmmmmm helmut my command of pom is as stated all down to red wine fetish that I have started lately :-) And I do think that is should be mandatory on this forum for all to have had at least a bottle before sticking their bits on ere!!!! might get more humour less bollocks that way .
glad that Das Fuhrer is Ok and still keeping your fetishes fed say gday from moi. guess I know who Alfie is now with the plank remark. Anyway call us in deathstar some time blokey I as usual will be loitering with intent to actually do some thing. Should really just mail this instead of posting it but red wine does lead to idolness....... GREAT. : ;) :

[CBR600F]

Right thats it Helm old matey I am bored and want to start a fight so here goes with the old ones which you alluded to in your previous post.
Q." what have flying a floppy and shagging a fat bird got in common"

A. !" Well there both comfortable and safe but by God you don't want anyone to see you doing it.

Helm you have control of to Deathstar when I sober up.
Tsuss :D