I Wish I Hadn't Said That ... The Sequel...

[Daifly]

Couldn't let it go into the annuls of history - it's been the best post so far on Pprune.

Was told this the other day>

Back in the days of the RAF being in Germany and operating the Swift - yes, many many years ago.

The CO was in the habit of always flying the weather check each morning - he was a Battle of Britain veteran, with many thousands of hours (etc. etc.) - however, he was also blessed with a God given stutter.

One morning he takes off on his wx chk and disappears into cloud fairly soon after take-off. Shortly after, the Duty Pilot in the Tower is resting in his chair (should that be on his laurels...?) when the radio stutters into life:

"Laaaaaaaaaarbruchhhhhhh. Swifffffffffffft onnnnnnnnnne."
"Go ahead"
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvveeeeee a-a-a-a-a-a wassssspppppp innnnn thheeeeeee c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cockkkkkkkkkkkpit"
- Queue much laughter in the Tower. There follows a bit of a running, well walking, commentary on his progress in removing his fellow flier. As this drags on the duty pilot starts to show some concern (puts his cigarette down etc) because the boss says he's still in cloud, and the DP expects to see the swift come racing out of the base at any second. However, the radio then burbles into life again:
"Swwwwiiiifffftttt Onnnneee. Wwwwaassssppppp. Connnnnfffffirrrmmeeedddd kkkiillllll.

- OK, not the funniest ever, but keep the thread going with your efforts please!

[henry crun]

A night checkout trip, student in the front seat forgets to put the wheels down.
During the roundout and about 2 seconds before an awful graunching noise announced the error, the instructor in the back drawls
"this is going to be a nice landing, I'll send you solo now"

[Hong Kong Fuey]

Something cool I heard the other day. Allegedly it came from an WWII Naval Aviator...

"Being a Fighter Pilot is like being in a motor cycle gang, except your mother still loves you."

I can relate to that!

[BEagle]

Funny you should mention the Swift:

Back when we could afford a 'School of Refresher Flying', I was a recently-chopped Buccaneer pilot being given another go. So I was a pretty happy bunny know.....OK then, a happy bunny, knowing that I was off to fly the tin triangle. One day in the crewroom, after we'd had some cr@p weather and I'd aborted out of low level, I remarked to the assembled mates (including many Wg Cdrs etc) "Well at least I wasn't like that complete ar$e I read about in the RAFG mag last month. Seems he was dull enough to press on and managed to fly a Swift through a forest - fortunately he got away with a few dents and twigs. W@nker!!"

Whereupon there was a polite cought from behind as a Group Captain said "Actually, that was me! But I concur with your assessment"

That was Pat King - top bloke! Rather more so than the pompous student in the following tale:

SORF QFI and Wg Cdr student walk in after a trip. QFI, being polite, makes the brew. However, it being Monday morning, there is no milk. "Would you like Coffeemate?" he enquires of said Wg Cdr. "Don't you think that's taking things a bit far, young man. I would remind you that I am a senior officer!" says Sir Bloggs.
"OK then - THERE'S NO $ODDING MILK, SIR. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEEMATE IN YOUR COFFEE INSTEAD, SIR?" says the QFI in the sort of voice which could clearly be heard throughout the entire crewroom!

[ 25 July 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[Perky Penguin]

I didn't say this but it was good banter at the time. During what was then called an AOC's at Coningsby (now an AFI)an US Marine Corps exchange officer in his best uniform complete appeared with ALL his medals, not the ribbons. One F4 pilot remarked to his navigator "Look out, here comes Magnetic North"

[ 26 July 2001: Message edited by: Perky Penguin ]