Crock of s**t

[amyoungz]

There used to be a wonderful story about RAF life that begins with some poor pee-on proclaiming that life is a crock of s**t, continues up the rank structure through various misunderstandings about s**t, manure, fertilizer etc and ends with His Airship believing that 'everything in the garden is lovely'.. .. .I can think of many situations today where that story could be applied, but, alas, I no longer have a copy. Anyone out there willing to post one for the general edification?

[Ed Winchester]

Capt Gadget - Is this the one (obviously changed to reflect a civvie company)?. .. .How It Came To Pass. .. .In the beginning was the Plan.. . . .And then came the Assumptions. . .. .And the Assumptions were without form. . .. .And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. . .. .And they spoke amongst themselves, saying, "it is a crock of Sh|t, and it stinketh." . .. .And the workers went unto their supervisors and said 'It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof.' . .. .And the supervisors went unto the managers, saying 'It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.' . .. .And the managers went unto their directors saying, 'it is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide it's strength.' . .. .And the Directors talked amongst themselves, saying to one another, 'It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very powerful.' . .. .And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him, this new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company, with powerful effects.' . .. .And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good. . .. .And the Plan became Policy. . .. .This is how sh|t happens!

[Cyclic Hotline]

In a related vein:. .. .THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT. .. .1. ENTHUSIASM. .. .2. DISILLUSIONMENT. .. .3. PANIC. .. .4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY. .. .5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT. .. .6. PRAISE & HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS. .. .* Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.. .. .* You can make something foolproof, but you cannot make it damnfoolproof.. .. .* THE LAST LAW: If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.. .. .Or of course, there is always the <a href="http://www3.sympatico.ca/n.rieck/docs/flow_chart.html" target="_blank">solve anything flow-chart!</a>. . . . <small>[ 07 March 2002, 06:40: Message edited by: Cyclic Hotline ]</small>

[amyoungz]

Ed W. .. .That's the one. Thanks a lot!

[The Nr Fairy]

My favourite is the description of a company hierarchy as a troop of baboons in a tree.. .. .The more important baboons are near the top of the tree, of course.. .. .When the top baboons look down, all they see is a treeful of smiling faces.. .. .When the lower order baboons look up, all they see is a bunch of a**seholes.

[6nandneutral]

There is another one where the brain gets all uppity and looks down upon the other parts of the body with the a*se coming bottom of the pile, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" /> pun intended. I can't remember how it goes but it ends up with the a*se going on strike and how it affects the other bodiy parts, and the conclusion is that your boss is an a*sehole. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

[Lucifer]

There is a depressing management theory that all get promoted when they are doing well, such that good people are promoted out of jobs they do well in, up until the point that they are doing badly, but by then there is no mechanism to put them back down to what they are good at. And therefore the whole structure is rubbish.

[uncle peter]

lucifer. .. .its called the peter principle, there was an excellent thread a few weeks / months back which provided a link, dont know if its still there.

[Ed Winchester]

6nandneutral:. .. .When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the Boss. The brain said, "I should be the Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions. " The feet said, " We should be the Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the sh|t! Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

[Mr C Hinecap]

Suggest you try reading anything to do with Dilbert - the Dilbert Principle is such that people will get promoted to where they can do the least damage ie don't promote those who can do the job, only those who can do it dangerously.. .. .Those above may look down on me, but they will never see me looking up to them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="redface.gif" />