Military aviation quotes...

[Vortex what...ouch!]

Being a stealth pilot is one of the most labor intensive and time constrained types of flying that I know. We have very strict timing constraints: to be where you are supposed to be all the time, exactly on time, and that has to be monitored by the pilot. For example, during a bomb competition in training in the US, I dropped a weapon that landed 0.02 seconds from the desired time, and finished third!
— Lt. Col. Miles Pound, USAF


The most important thing in fighting was shooting, next the various tactics in coming into a fight and last of all flying ability itself.
— Lt. Colonel W. A. 'Billy' Bishop, RAF.


Good flying never killed [an enemy] yet.
— Major Edward 'Mick' Mannock, RAF.


Well boys, we've got three engines out, we've got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing...but we've got one thing on those Russkies. At this height why thy might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!
— Major T. J. King Kong in the 1963 movie 'Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.'


Look boys I ain't much of a hand at making speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beings if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelings about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back at home are counting on you and by golly we ain't about to let them down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing is over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump...we got some flying to do.
— Major T. J. King Kong, in the 1963 movie 'Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.'


In the early stages of the fight Mr. Winston Churchill spoke with affectionate raillery of me and my Chicks. He could have said nothing to make me more proud; every Chick was needed before the end.
— ACM Sir Hugh C. T. Dowding, dispatch to the Secretary of State for Air, 20 August 1941.


One of the secrets of air fighting was to see the other man first. Seeing airplanes from great distances was a question of experience and training, of knowing where to look and what to look for. Experienced pilots always saw more than the newcomers, because the later were more concerned with flying than fighting. . . . The novice had little idea of the situation, because his brain was bewildered by the shock and ferocity of the fight.
— Air Vice-Marshal J. E. 'Johnnie' Johnson, RAF.


A fighter pilot is a man in love with flying. A fighter pilot sees not a cloud but beauty. Not the ground but something remote from him, something that he doesn't belong to as long as he is airborne. He's a man who wants to be second-best to no one.
— Brig. Gen. Robin Olds, USAF.


A fighter without a gun . . . is like an airplane without a wing.
— Brigadier General Robin Olds, USAF.


The most important thing is to have a flexible approach. . . . The truth is no one knows exactly what air fighting will be like in the future. We can't say anything will stay as it is, but we also can't be certain the future will conform to particular theories, which so often, between the wars, have proved wrong.
— Brigadier General Robin Olds, USAF.


Aggressiveness was a fundamental to success in air-to-air combat and if you ever caught a fighter pilot in a defensive mood you had him licked before you started shooting.
— Captain David McCampbell, USN, leading U.S. Navy ace in W.W.II.


The experienced fighting pilot does not take unnecessary risks. His business in to shoot down enemy planes, not to get shot down. His trained hand and eye and judgment are as much a part of his armament as his machine-gun, and a fifty-fifty chance is the worst he will take -- or should take -- except where the show is of the kind that . . . justifies the sacrifice of plane or pilot.
— Captain Edward V. 'Eddie' Rickenbacker.


Next time a war is decided by how well you land on a carrier, I'm sure our Navy will clean up. Until then, I'll worry about who spends their training time flying and fighting.
— cliché


I'd hate to see an epitaph on a fighter pilot's tombstone that says, I told you I needed training. . . . How do you train for the most dangerous game in the world by being as safe as possible? When you don't let a guy train because it's dangerous, you're saying, Go fight those lions with your bare hands in that arena, because we can't teach you to learn how to use a spear. If we do, you might cut your finger while you're learning. And that's just about the same as murder.
— Colonel 'Boots' Boothby, USAF.


Only the spirit of attack borne in a brave heart will bring success to any fighter aircraft, no matter how highly developed it may be.
— General Adolf Galland, Luftwaffe


The British were sporting. They would accept a fight under almost all conditions.
— Gunther Rall, Luftwaffe, 275 victories.


. . . four other pieces of equipment that most senior officers came to regard as among the most vital to our success in Africa and Europe were the bulldozer, the jeep, the 2½-ton truck, and the C-47 airplane. Curiously, none of these is designed for combat.
— Dwight D. Eisenhower


You can shoot down every MiG the Soviets employ, but if you return to base and the lead Soviet tank commander is eating breakfast in your snack bar, Jack, you've lost the war
— Anonymous A-10 Pilot


Why don't we just buy one airplane and let the pilots take turns flying it.
— Calvin Coolidge, complaining about a War Department request to buy more aircraft.


Of all my accomplishments I may have achieved during the war, I am proudest of the fact that I never lost a wingman.
— Colonel Erich 'Bubi' Hartmann, GAF, aka Karaya One, worlds leading ace, 352 victories in W.W.II.


If we lose the war in the air we lose the war and lose it quickly.
— Field Marshall Montgomery

[BEagle]

"What do you lot want?" -Gen Custer

"Only one aeroplane? That won't do much harm" -Mayor of Hiroshima

"Thank heavens they didn't come here" -Mayor of Nagasaki

"Look at all the arrows. AARGH, BUG GER!!" -King Harold of England

"I only wanted to make the b£oody trains run on time" -Mussolini

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[Whipping Boy's SATCO]

"You've never been really lost until you've done it at mach 3" - SR71 pilot

[MightyGem]

Copied this from a similar thread in Jet Blast as it's by a military pilot. Have to say it bought a lump to the throat.

I had that morning gone to say my farewells to Broadhurst and to the RAF. I had made a point of going to HQ at Schleswig in my 'Grand Charles'. Coming back I had taken him high up in the cloudless summer sky, for it was only there that I could fittingly take my leave.
Together we climbed for the last time straight towards the sun. We looped once, perhaps twice, we lovingly did a few slow, meticulous rolls, so that I could take away in my finger-tips the vibration of his supple, docile wings.
And in that narrow cockpit I wept, as I shall never weep again, when I felt the concrete brush against his wheels and, with a great sweep of the wrist, dropped him on the ground like a cut flower.
As always, I carefully cleared the engine, turned off all the switches one by one, removed the straps, the wires and the tubes which tied me to him, like a child to his mother. And when my waiting pilots and my mechanics saw my downcast eyes and my shaking shoulders, they understood and returned to the dispersal in silence.
— Pierre Clostermann, 'The big show,' 1951.

PS, anyone know what a "Grand Charles" was/is?

[Gainesy]

Closterman's pet name for his Typhoon (or Tempest) Squadron code letter "C".

[Murphy]

"Why can't you keep this bloody thing in balance????" - Mighty Gem

"Why can't you keep this bloody thing in balance???" - Jeep

"Why can't I keep this bloody thing in balance???" - Murphy

[ShyTorque]

That most famous of last quotes:

"Oh $hit". :eek:

[ 06 December 2001: Message edited by: ShyTorque ]

[BEagle]

Back when the RN had real carriers and aircraft, I was once told that a Vixen pilot had suddenly said "OH $HIT" for some reason or other. There was then a loud bang as his 'Looker' ejected successfully....

Quite who was more surprised, the pilot to find himself on his own after his observer had seemingly jumped ship for no apparent reason, or the observer who watched his Vixen flying away quite happily, I never heard. I understand that because 'Oh $hit' sounded too much like 'Eject' that the word was henceforth banned in that squadron!

[ 06 December 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[gravity victim]

I believe that the Irish Air Force has banned the word 'eejit' for the same reason.
;)

[ShyTorque]

Anyone hear the story about the Red Arrows in the days of the Gnat where someone transmitted "Red *, you're on fire!"

There were three bangs and three 'chutes.

Forgive me if I'm wrong! :eek:

[ol_benkenobi]

"Murph, why can't you keep this bloody thing in balance????" OBK

[Sugar_Junkie]

ShyT
I believe the incident in question was in a circuit somewhere, with about 4 formations, and some bod transmitted: "Lead from two, you are on fire, eject immediatley"..3 parachutes....

something like that anyway....I think it was in the "I wish I hadn't said that" thread a few months ago.......

SJ

[aspinwing]

Instructor to Student: If you hear me say 'eject' twice; you had better hurry because the second one was an echo! :D

[Flatus Veteranus]

The F84 was widely used in NATO air fores in the '50s. For a fighter it carried a lot of fuel, including a saddle tank over the jet pipe (I believe). There was a warning light activated by temperature sensors in the vicinity of this tank. A cracked jp would inevitably triiger the warning light and the SOP was that you banged out instanter Story had it that a section was taxying out in Holland one day and a No 2 saw smoke belching from his leader's tailpipe and yelped on the RT "Hans, you're on fire. GET OUT!" Hans 1 shut down and climbd out. Hans's 2,3 &4, flying around innocently within a few hundred miles, banged out.

Edited for bad Latin by FV
:o

[ 06 December 2001: Message edited by: Flatus Veteranus ]

[Legalapproach]

BEagle

I remember reading an accident report in the crew room in the early 80's about an apparently identical incident to this involving a Buccaneer in the circuit somewhere. It was around the time a Buc lost a wing during red flag.

The punch line to the report was "Aircrew are requested to refrain from using expletives in the air"

There was another report at around the same period where a Buc beat up a ship in some Norwegian Fjord. If I recall correctly the report stated that the Navigator informed the pilot that he was unimpressed with the manouvre and so the pilot went round for another go of the "If you thought that was low watch this" type. The nav was obviously even more unimpressed as he banged out.

I think that these recollections are correct although it was a long time ago and I was very, very drunk.

[MightyGem]

Murph, I gather that we know each other. Any clues??
:confused:

[Wiley]

aspinwing, my first jet instructor gave his rather awed teenage student a variation of that same line – "In the event that we are required to eject, I will say 'eject, eject, eject!' If you hear me say the second 'eject', it will only be because I have a very long mic/tel lead."

---

The other one that comes to mind was probably apocryphal, but reputed to have happened to a trashie student who was having a very bad day. Not very much had gone right and he was more than a little rattled when after a particularly bad final landing, the instructor, taking pity on him, looked across as they taxied back to dispersal and said "Cheer up, Bloggs."

'Cheer' sounds awfully like another word you don't want associated with the word 'up' while the aircraft is on the ground, and the taxi in was terminated rather abruptly as the aircraft graunched down onto its two spinning propellers.

---

Another one that was to bring about a strict 'no unnecessary talk by ANY crewmember during the takeoff roll' amendment to Squadron SOPS was when a Herc Loadmaster, sitting right down the back of the aircraft, decided to tell the second Loadmaster – on interphone – of his purchases in ports exotique quite late in the takeoff roll. "I bought…" was about as far as he got in discussing his shopping before the captain threw the aircraft into full reverse and max braking. One of the more senior Loadies on the squadron, he took a very long time to live that one down.

[ 07 December 2001: Message edited by: Wiley ]

[sangiovese]

Always remember the story of an aircraft (I believe it was a Canberra), just before crashing, transmitting

"Cancel the two late teas"

Cool to the end.......

[ShyTorque]

On Bulldogs prior to spinning I used to brief Bloggs that if I decided we needed to leave the aircraft I would shout "Jump, Jump, Jump" and he/she was to go first.

I also told them, if he/she didn't hear me, or go quick enough, I also had it written in capitals on the soles of my boots as a reminder. :D

[Four Seven Eleven]

Another one, perhaps apocryphal: (Can anyone confirm and/or fill in the details)

A blunt was given a ride in a two-seat fast jet. The pilot gave a comprehensive pre-flight briefing, to the effect that "If we have to get out, pull this handle...etc."

The flight was uneventful, and after shutting down, the pilot turned around and said, "Right, let's get out."

Blunt remembered the pre-flight briefing in way too much detail.

[Talking Radalt]

Surely the greatest aviation-related quote ever...

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

:o

[Murphy]

"If they wanted the ball in the middle, Why is the tube so long!!!" - Murph

"This is just the place to refresh your snow landing skills!!" - Ol BenKenobi :eek:

[ 08 December 2001: Message edited by: Murphy ]

[s650588]

in a similar theme to Wiley, the instructors comments to my son, on his first flight in a Macchi, were:

"If we have to eject I will call 'eject, eject, eject'. If you aren't gone by the 3rd call you will be logging command time."

[Genghis the Engineer]

"Jim, could you reduce the g a little so that I can write". Me to my pilot during Hawk sortie (simulated missile breaks), ETPS 1996.

"In the event that we have not recovered by 4000 ft, I will eject. You will then see if the effect of my ejection helps you to recover, if this doesn't work by 3000ft, you are to eject". Me, to my pilot, briefing Tucano spinning trials, BDN 199?.

"This runway is too *(*&(ing short", last words on ADR, Tornado pilot with wings stuck fully swept who elected to try and land, date and airfield uncertain.

G

[ 08 December 2001: Message edited by: Genghis the Engineer ]

[MightyGem]

Murph, thanks for the message. Tell Jeep I thought you were pretty good(well, 5 years ago, anyway).
:D

[Lou Scannon]

It is even more emotional to recall that Churchill's famous line about "the few" was first muttered almost to himself, with tears running down his face, in the back of a staff car with his ADC following a visit to a squadron during the Battle of Britain.

Only later was it heard in a formal speech!

[ChristopherRobin]

"...come with me, and I will show you where the Iron Crosses grow."

-GFS SAMA, prior to what can only be termed as a complete riot of a day. (Aug '97).

[ 12 December 2001: Message edited by: ChristopherRobin ]

[Murphy]

MG,

Not in the same place as Jeep anymore, but will let Mac know that you held my ability to fly badly, in high regard!!!!

[Tigs]

Hows this one top get the juices flowing.
"Airpower is the supreme expression of military might, and fleets and armour no matter how vital must accept a subordinate role" Winston Churchill

[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: Tigs ]

[Sloppy Link]

Can you passengers in the back hear me? Yes? Good, the last time I said BRACE!BRACE!BRACE!, no one heard me! I find it tends to attract their attention for the safety brief.

[Cornish Jack]

One reported by (I think) 'Winkle' Brown - transmission from RN chap having done an underpowered 'cat' shot and disappeared over the ship's bows, staggered along in ground (Water) effect for some time then gradually started to fly again ... "Thank you God, I have control"

[GAFY]

"Though I Fly Through The Valley Of Death I Shall Fear No Evil, For I Am At 80,000ft And Climbing." sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location on Kadena AB, Okinawa

[Art Field]

One for those that remember back that far. Very senior officer taxis out in Jet Provost at Rissington, bumbles down runway and aborts, taxis round again, aborts again, transmits "Rissie Tower, am I in a JP3 or a 4"

[Busta]

RAFG some years ago.

Pair of Swifts making Sqn Christmas card photo. This involves flying past famous schloss inverted while wingman takes piccy.

Inverted Swift catches fire, wingman notifies leader of this condition who replies "I know, take the ****ing photograph".
Good card!

Nothing matters very much, most things don't matter at all.

[Downwind.Maddl-Land]

Favourite phrase of Gp Capt Pickard (Amiens Prison job)

"There's always a bloody SOMETHING!"

And he didn't have HSW, PC and lawyers breathing down his neck.

[Max R8]

1. Flexibility is the key to Airpower.
2. Contracts are, by their nature, inflexible.
3. Ipso Facto: Contratorisation is the death of Airpower.

[John Farley]

The following few moments of Busta’s story above are worth recalling as well. One Flt Lt P (this initial - not his real one - will be appreciated by those who knew him) Rimmington ejected. Sadly his parachute did not have the anti inertia mod to its QRB so it came undone and on parachute deployment he fell out of his harness. So P is clearly going to die. But as befits all of P’s adventures (and he had plenty) his harness tangled round an ankle and he came down head first. Clearly going to break his neck on landing. Not P. He came down in the only river for miles. Clearly going to drown. Again no, the BAOR were on both banks doing an amphibious type bit of CT. So seconds later P is on dry land and shortly after in a helicopter en route to the bar at Jever. I could go on but this is not the official history channel.

[fantom]

hunters middle east. four ship mock strike.
lead hits the top of a waddi on the pull-out.
3 says: 'No 1 you lost your tanks'.
someone else says: 'that WAS No 1'.
3 says 'roger, renumber'.
208 Sqn linebook and authenticated. <img src="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

[fantom]

max R8
flex the key to airpower.......jsp 108....... <img src="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

[ROGERTHAT]

As a very young siggie on my third or fourth flight on the OCU one of the trainee pilots not so much landed the plane as was shot down. The pilot instructor said "ok bloggs when i say flare what i actually mean is PULL BACK ON THE FU*KING STICK ALRIGHT, tut fu*kwit!!" Oh how we chuckled

[TqNrT4NgGreenlightCWP]

Maybe this thread should be renamed "Apocryphal Now"? Still, never one to let truth get in the way of a good story....

Jim Davidson, on being strapped into a T4 at Gutersloh during the making of a 'Christmas' special (sometime in september), was told by the serious-sounding pilot "Jim, this is really important. If you miss me saying Eject, Eject, then it says FOLLOW ME on the soles of my boots". (I know, similar to an earlier quote, but this one is on video somewhere).

Pax being briefed for a famil around HK in a Scout asked how he would know if the engine DID fail. Was told, in measured and reassuring tones, that it would go "very quiet behind you, and very noisy in front..."

Of course, when one completed a Scout conversion (I never did) allegedly one put a Green Endorsement in the log book and left the date blank.

In slightly worse taste - fuel stop at Koksijde, and one of the crews noticed a sign over the door to the Ops room, which was in Flemish. However, the words 'Herald of Free Enterprise' stood out. He asked one of his hosts if the sign commemorated the excellent work carried out by SAR crews from the base on that fateful night. No, he was told, the sign says "This is not the Herald of Free Enterprise, so shut the f%&*ing door!"

[Paterbrat]

After a particularly hectic evening at Linton followed by a spectacular run ashore the student was given a fanstop after TO first sortie off in the morning on the way to Dishforth. His patter was rapid and included ignition off and groundflight to ground as well as the selection of a field. The instructor then commented that he would have the safty pannel off with his elbow if he wasn't careful and could he now go round please. There was a horrible silence and much frantic scrambling.
They did make it... just!

[1.3VStall]

Downwind.ML,

The phrase "There's always bloody something" has actually been the unoffical motto of IX Sqn groundcrew since WWII. The words form part of the unoffical sqn crest, which features the sqn bat clutching the bomb with which IX Sqn sank the Tirpitz.

The IX Sqn Association publishes an annual magazine which features the unoffical crest/motto on its front cover.

[FJJP]

And here's me thinking that 617 Sqn sank the Tirpitz...

[1.3VStall]

FJJP,

No, six foot seven only said they did!

[Man-on-the-fence]

Without risking another arguement on this subject (It wasnt sunk anyway because it wasnt completely submerged, it was merely capsized <img src="wink.gif" border="0"> )

Which squadron currently has the bulkhead??

[ORAC]

I seem to remember the Gunston ATC tape had the classic:

"The Captain is always the last to leave the aircraft. If I pass you on the way to the door you automatically assume the post of Captain"

[Phoney Tony]

Air Electronic Officer (AEO) on Nimrod MR1 reading the 'After landing checks'.

AEO - 'Undercarriage'

Flt Deck response - 'I think we will leave it down'

[BEagle]

Aaah - this ba££$ about 'Who sunk the Tirpitz' is all very well - but everyone surely accepts that it was 35 Sqn who caused the ship such damage in the first place that they left it to rather more junior squadrons to complete the act.......

[Reheat On]

Mid 70's - A steely eyed FJ [ex Xv Buccs] Wg Cdr [later AVM methinks], on his career making tour with the largest UAS, was heard to call on his arrival run and break in his Scot Aviation Bulldog

"Lima06 finals 3 greens"

Many dull stoods spent many a week looking for the secret 'instructor only' undercarraige selector lever. We concluded in the end that only one aircraft was ever modified..... Some of those guys went on to be trained by him at TTTE !

<img src="wink.gif" border="0">

[ 06 January 2002: Message edited by: Reheat On ]</p>

[Arkroyal]

My next-door neighbour in the 70s, a splendid old boy, retired squabbling bleeder from between the wars used to tell a (probably apochrophal) tale about his days on the North-West frontier in (I think) Westland Wapitis.

These things had a fuel tank in the upper wing which fed the engine by gravity, but which in turn was fed from a larger fuselage tank by the gunner, who's job it was to hand pump fuel into the wing at intervals.

Bill was chuntering along over the dessert, when the engine faltered and died. In to the voice tube he yelled 'Pump, pump!' Gunner duly Jumps. Now with no chance of relighting the engine, Bill glides down and lands next to his silk gathering chum. 'I said pump, not jump you c**t, now get in and pump!'

He was my referee for entry to the RN, and what a bloke to have on your side!

[nickwest]

A great quote concerning the contempt Navy Fixed wing types had over their Air Force brothers:

"Flare to land - Squat to pee"

[1.3VStall]

M-o-t-f,

FYI, the bulkhead is to be placed on permanent display in the RAF Museum at Hendon.

[Gainesy]

...until IX see it. :)

[1.3VStall]

Gainesy - Good call!

[Gainesy]

How do they know that the one destined for Hendon is not, in fact, a cunning relica and that the real one is safely tucked up in someone's garage?
<img src="wink.gif" border="0">

[Man-on-the-fence]

Gainsey

Good point. I'm off there on the 16th (Hendon not the garage). I will have a look, assuming its there yet that is.

[Warthog 1]

Referring to Air Combat: "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin' hard enough"

Anonymous USAF Fighter Pilot

[RW-1]

Yes Steady, but we NA's changed it to keep up with the times:

"Aim High - but don't hit the back of the lid ..."

:)

[Mick Stability]

With (not many) apologies to 'Plug', doing his first solo in the Bulldog:

ATC: Lima 237 say POB

L237: Er, zero POB

ATC: Ah, just confirm at least One POB???!!

Needless to say 'Plug' flies hundreds of 'pax'


And an imortal line from the film 'Crimson Tide'

'We're here to defend democracy, not to practice it!'

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/shootout.gif

[pana]

"Bl00dy student , you know nothing! What is your bl00dy IQ?"
"It's OK, sir." (after 5 seconds of instrument crosschecking)

[InFinRetirement]

The remarkable Pete Shepherd of the Navy's Historical flight told me this little tale.

Prince Charles was on a visit aboard Ark Royal. Pete, as LSO, was given the job of showing him around but HRH made it clear that he would like to visit the flight deck during land ons. Pete explained as much as he should, but further told HRH that it was a dangerous place to be and particularly pointed to an escape chute that went down a deck or two in the event of a nasty.

"Sir, this chute should be used as an emergency exit for both of us on my say so, that is to say that if an aeroplane, or a wire breaks, that is the way we go. Sir, one other thing, your Mummy has no doubt told you that you are first in line of descent, but I am here to tell you that should there be an emergency you will follow ME in the descent".

With his usual large pint in his hand, and coming from his lips, it was a story as believable as any.

[Septimus Pyecroft]

Overheard in the tower at a fast jet base in Norfolk during a particularly windy day with aircraft nearing their croswind limits. One particular pilot asked to be kept up to date with the wind off the clock, to which the controller replied...

'Do you want me to keep passing wind until you take off ???' <img src="eek.gif" border="0">

[Bazois]

Nameless UAS crewroom, lunchtime, slow flying day:

Everyone talking about one of the QFIs and his qualities (of which there are many):

Anon (looking up from magazine): "Yep, F/L X. nice chap, big chopper."

And straight back to reading the paper without a blink. Apparently he was talking about the QFI's tendency to remove people from the course!

[Grobbler]

Bazois, you are an odious turd.

[Dunhovrin]

It's probably been said elsewhere in Prune but there's always...

"What does your mother call you, Bloggs?". ."Cuddles, Sir". ."Well Cuddles - You're chopped"

[PlasticCabDriver]

In t'old days, back on Chippie, in the climb (slowly) for a spin:

Me: Blah blah climb to FL blah blah recover by blah blah abandon by blah blah.. your brief, Sir.

QFI: Blah blah min height to abandon, blah blah, I have Control blah blah, if we lose intercom blah blah wiggle stick this way, you wiggle it that way... Oh fvck it! if it all goes cold and you see my feet, you'll get the message!

. ."The crew will be last to leave the airplane. The captain will be the last to leave of the crew.. .If I pass you on the way out, you have just been promoted to Captain!"

. ."The big fan on top of a helicopter does nothing except keep the pilot cool. If it stops, watch the fvcker sweat!"

[Busta]

A few 'puddies'.

Hunters RAFG, some years ago " weather's too bad for GCA, I'll come in visually"- and he did!

Hunter,over Holland.. .Q from ATC "Do you have any Nav Aids?".. .A " Yes, I'm speaking on it."

Meteor at Brawdy, some years later after engine shutdown.. .Q from ATC " Do you wish to declare an emergency.". .A " No thank you, I have a spare on the other wing."

Nothing matters very much, most things don't matter at all.

[Reheat On]

Early in the Bulldog's career, with a student also early into his training for a ground job... Well renowned Irish instuctor [O'Mahoney - to be sure, twas he - last seen heading Luton way with a smart ATPL in the lateish 70s] in the R seat, the student was downwind, so to speak, while QFI made the usual copious debrief aide memoires on his kneepad, but keeping his third eye on the world about. The QFI notices a sudden change in the earth's axis whereby his chinagraph floats toward the roof of the canopy and the sun undergoes a rapid change in position and goes out, while the earth seems to have done a 180 and is clearly visible in the roof of the canopy.

Most unusual, thought the QFI to himself. What can have happened he pondered. Goodness me, is that the altimetre spinning counter clockwise? It was only due to an incredible and instant appraisal of the spatial environmental status by the QFI that helped identify that the world was actually functioning normally, with all circuit breakers in place whereas the a/c had in fact mysteriously become inverted. The stood discalimed all responsibility, naturally enough.

The QFIs only comment was 'I have control for the break....'

Oh how ones life can seem so short on some days....

<img src="cool.gif" border="0">

[oldpinger]

Emanating from a slightly stressed pilot on instrument finals who hopefully misheard..

Tower: ****20 say POB. .Reply: 2 decimal 4

Also two Rn Seakings were heading up the south coast en route to a landaway in germany, talking to a rather pleasant sounding controller on portland approach,

Portland Approach, this is ***** a formation of two navy G strings at 200' transiting etc etc. .Me thinks the a visit to the Reaperbarn was on the cards....

There is of course the famous

"Sootie says, You're chopped!". . <img src="smile.gif" border="0"> <img src="smile.gif" border="0">

[ 24 January 2002: Message edited by: oldpinger ]</p>