Best B011icking

[sangiovese]

Listening to the Today programme this morning about the Navy gaff of putting up the Taiwanese flag for the visiting Chinese Admiral. Thought the bollocking would have been a good one.

I'm sure we've probably done this before but anybody got any equals? The best I can manage is for 5hagging an SACW whilst on BFTS (well she was cute!).

Graham Southard RIP (always remembered Herc captain) it was a good one, and not equalled since

[Doctor Cruces]

Got a real Bo****king from my boss once for daring to fall ill after sick parade had finished. It seems I should have waited til 0800 the following morning before calling the doc out!!!

Doc C.

[oldpinger]

How about this one, happened to a mate of mine on pilots course (now left the navy)

Twas the weekend before wings parade and the plucky young aviators had decided a smally cabin party was in order. All good fun although jolly naughty in the eyes of the grown ups, few beers etc. His girlfriend was staying in his cabin for the weekend but he decided, instead of sending her to a B&B on Sunday night she stayed on until Monday morning.
Unfortunately, a mattress had been borrowed from a next door room which turned out to be needed by the senior officer who turned up on the sunday evening to find no mattress! He complained to a steward who got charged for losing a mattress and the manure hit the ventilating system.
To add to the fun and games, a cleaner opened the door to his room to find a semidressed female civilian. She went to the mess manager to report her findings as well.
Enter our hero, who'd headed back to return the mattress. The story goes that they were carrying the mattress down the corridor, only to meet the CO of the Sqn and the Mess Manager coming the other direction.....
Needless to say, he nearly didn't get his wings and the bo##icking was pretty impressive!!
The really lucky bit was that the grown-ups hadn't found the wardrobe full of empty beer bottles... :eek:

[Cornish Jack]

Boll..king as a developed art form was undoubtedly the province of the old-fashioned RSM. Was privileged, many years ago to witness such a masterpiece.
We had been doing a winching demo' at the Cheltenham Tattoo and we then landed at Innsworth and came back to the Tattoo site to join the final parade in the back of an Army Land Rover. Our driver was held up en- route and, trying to catch up our position in the parade line-up, somewhat over-cooked the arena entry (two wheels instead of the normal four!!) This impressive bit of driving was spotted by the RSM (Corps of Transport, I think) and at the post parade gathering he requested the presence of .... not the offending driver, but HIS SERGEANT!! Said individual duly stamped his way to attention in front of this impressive figure with the usual ENORMOUS Tate and Lyle on his arm and stood, ashen faced as his parentage, lifestyle, mental capacity, social habits and prospects were examined in LOUD and unhesitating style and I cannot recall a single repetition throughout!!! Truly a virtuoso performance!
What was equally impressive was the secondary effect this had on our driver. His face became more and more ashen as he realised what effect this diatribe was going to have on him, at first remove.
Presumably such things would have to be filtered through a civil liberties lawyer nowadays. ;) ;)

[ 04 October 2001: Message edited by: Cornish Jack ]

[Zoom]

At the Towers in the 60s, we were doing the Assistant Commandant's Review on the Junior Mess parade ground. While doing a 'right dress' prior to marching on, one cadet snapped his left hand smartly to his side and impaled it on the next cadet's No 4 rifle bayonet. Despite the obvious pain and discomfort, he didn't dare say a word and, squeezing his fist tightly, completed the parade with his leather glove helping to staunch the flow of blood. After marching off he attracted the sergeant's attention and told him that he felt faint. The sergeant strutted over, looked briefly at the dripping limb, examined the blood-stained rifle minutely and shouted 'Flight Cadet Xxxxx, put yourself on a charge for dirtying Her Majesty's property!'

[teeteringhead]

You know I hate to be picky, but shouldn't he have got a CYP (clarify yer parameters)for wearing brown leather rather than white cotton gloves for arms drill??? ;)