What do you do for a living...?

[Dr Schlong]

...freelance gynaecologist! Old I know, any corkers out there for use on the unsuspecting ladies? :p

[HeliAviator]

Eddie Stobart lorry driver (works at Branigans Crawley) or WWF Beaver Inspector!

Badger :eek:

[dwaynedibley]

Underwater Wood Welder ?, Dolphin Trainer ? A guy in the TA who worked with me used to tell girls he was a bin man(and in the winter drove the snow plough, no I don't know how he got to work)
Two things, A. He was and B. It seemed to work. Go figure... Sky God pah!

[Mirkin About]

Have been biscuit designer , did you know that it takes a designer to put those little ridges just right so that the tea runs off and doesn't make the biscuit too soggy? Also been a Beta tester for Durex. No doubt there are also some very confused Insurance salesmen around after leaving a nice big pile of their business cards around the place. :p


Roger Badger

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: Mirkin About ]

[Arkroyal]

In a pub next to Brayford(?) pool in Lincoln during a crab course at Scampton, we let on to the ladies that we were submariners and that our steed was parked just outside.

Girl went over to the window, looked out, came back saying she couldn't see it.

''course you can't' we said 'It's a submarine'

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: Arkroyal ]

[Reheat On]

I used to be a chicken sexer -- well someone has to decide which chicks will go on to an idyllic life of egg laying, while the chaps get it. Chick balls are very small. You can somnetimes tell by the lie of the skin, the lie of the feathers can help, but essentially its all down to feel. :cool:

[BEagle]

Fondling chickens' bits - some job, heh? But I suppose if your job is also your hobby.....?

But who would ever discover that when Pertelote wasn't laying the reason was that, in fact, you'd deliberately given Chaunticleer a stay of execution?

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: BEagle ]

[attackattackattack]

Berlei fitting consultant. In fact I remember a whole Army Pilot's Course plus instructers being a convention of Berlei fitting consultants in a Blackpool nightclub. The assorted audience were much happier to believe our cover than when one of our band of brothers gave in and let slip what we really did.

Ah bliss. "..so do you really think it's a bit tight round here..." "I'm a professional, let me check." :)

[AdrianShaftsworthy]

Many moons ago in the Severn Stars of York, (No:1 trapping place in those days), a fellow course member known as Snuff, (used to get up everyones nose), convinced a couple of Cadbury Dorisses that he was gainfully employed as the chief green cutter at Fulford golf course using a sharp pair of scissors and a 1/4 inch long ruler. Should'nt be too rude about the young ladies, they're probably married to a couple of ageing Crabs now! Oops.

[Avoiding Action]

"We're Stained-Glass Window Repairers..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do the blue bits, he does the red bits, him over there does the green bits...etc etc" :D

[PlasticCabDriver]

Aquadozer Driver. You can't leave all those oil pipelines just sitting on the sea bed, so someone has to dig the trenches to put them in...

Mushroom breeder, or bodyguard to Lord Somebody or other (who also happens to be in the place),etc etc

[MightyGem]

We had an expedition support crew driving around Switzerland, telling everyone that they were a Satellite Recovery team looking for a downed satellite.

[Helmut Visorcover]

Plastic, Dijon about 1993/4 by any chance? Canadian students, hook line and sinker?

Alloy or Titanium blades? Whats your choice?

[samsonyte]

Reverse Liposuction Technician ...


Using what's taken out of fat people to inject into anorexics :eek: :eek:

[Flt Lt Spry]

Picture the scene: 50kt wind down the Vale of York, BFJT course slope off into town for a pub lunch and a few bevvies. On the way out, barmaid asks, "Are you guys heading back to work now?"
Reply: "No. It's too windy!"
Barmaid: "Too windy? What do you do?"
Cse: "We sweep leaves but when it's windy they go everywhere so there's no point doing it... bye!"

[kbf1]

....I'm a wind tunnel technition and I test the holes in polo mints.......


or:

....I'm a paediatric musician....
What's that then?
....a kiddy-fiddler! :eek:

[ 20 October 2001: Message edited by: kbf1 ]

[Follow Me Through]

Couple of thoughts

DwayneDibley - your mate who was the bin man - did he get any training or did he just pick it up as he went along?

Dr Schlong - as a part time gynaecologist do you still keep your hand in?

[bad livin']

Dr Schlong...I'm sure I remember we both spent many a night in York telling various ladies we painted lighthouses...

Be seeing you soon, rgds to all
BL

[Sloppy Link]

There was a chap who after acting coyly with a young lady about his profession finally folded and told her what he did that only involved working for two months of the year. He was a seal cub culler. Amazingly, he completey failed to get anywhere with the young lady, can't think why.

[Dr Schlong]

Follow Me Through - I'm not properly qualified - but I'll have a damn good look!!! :D :D :D

[ 21 October 2001: Message edited by: Dr Schlong ]

[neilk]

Quantity surveyor, and you've got a lot there darlin'...que punch

[SeenTheLight]

"I'm a dolphin trainer"

"No you're not, you're a nav stude, I can tell by your watch"

"Hey, look Shaz, he's got one of them fancy stopwatch ones."

"You must be on LLTS then"

"Erm ..."

"Well just watch out for DL4 cos that's when they turn the TANS off on you"

Good old Donny birds!!

[St Johns Wort]

Once told a bird that I was a lab technician, the one that lights the cigarettes for the beagles and drops the chemicals into bunny rabbits eyes. Didnt see much of her after that!

:confused:

[X-QUORK]

Once told mate's potential ladyfriend (whilst said mate went to point Percy) that he was a Chocolate Consultant for Cadbury's, specialising in Fudge Packing techniques.

[Cy Nichol]

Heared of a chap who professed to be a manhole cover salesman - turned out he was a rep for Tampax...... :rolleyes:

[Capt Widebody]

Members of an elite team of Divers, specializing in Marine Underwater Fire Fighting....

Then you only get a slap from the sharons who are both street-wise AND literate :D

..."supplementary question"..... :cool:

[Busta]

Travellers in aluminium and kerosene, or brain surgeons.

Nothing matters very much, most things don't matter at all.

[Mowgli]

Underwater cameraman for greenpeace - film to stop the dolphins getting caught up with the tunas in the trawler nets - heroic, but fluffy. Really scary when you nearly get caught up in the net etc....

Once heard of a guy who worked at a garage on the forecourt, pumping tyres and cleaning windscreens, said he was an Airline Executive.

[PaulDeGearup]

Ex colleague who is now a Group Captain used to tell the ladies he was a lighthouse keeper; I 've been on the light for 3 months and this is my first night of and you are the first lady I've met !

Must have done summat right !

[Hagbard the Amateur]

One line that genuinely used to work with ladies when I was a rock and roll roadie (I 5hit you not) "I might not be the leader of the pack but I am the packer of the leads..."
Make of that one what you will.

[gravity victim]

The scientist folk at the Aberdeen Marine Lab who take underwater video of trawl nets etc, were all, strictly speaking, MAFFDivers (Now DEFRA Divers, so joke over...)

For signing on the dole,'Coronation Programme Seller' minimised the chance of a vacancy turning up, bit that's getting a bit risky as Betty gets older, so maybe I'll start putting down 'Lamplighter' again... :)