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oxenos
7th May 2009, 18:16
http://i665.photobucket.com/albums/vv15/oxenos_photo/th_img020.jpg

I knew I'd retired, but I couldn't remember why.

Davaar
7th May 2009, 18:34
I am busily un-retiring.

For the past weeks I have been working days and evenings. Old age is great so long as one has health. I have no quarrel at all with it.

Of course there are new experiences. I held the door for one very old gentleman a while back and he told me, as he shambled past with his walker, it was so nice to meet a young man with manners; "Not so many around these days". Very gratifying.

The other day, though, I caught the experience in reverse. Three tender maidens, whom one might class as "silly girls", not more than teenagers, were giggling and larking towards the door at the Kraal, saw me approach, stopped, stood back, opened the door for me. Quite touching, really. I guess my menace factor is zero. It reminded me of the first time in the factory lang syne when an adult addressed me as "Mr" Davaar.

Long may it continue.

OFSO
7th May 2009, 18:42
First time I was addressed as "Mr Flood" I turned around looking for my dad.....

frostbite
7th May 2009, 20:03
Having occasionally been employed/self employed facing the public, I have never had a problem addressing (male!) customers as 'Sir'.

It's nice but rare when it comes back my way these days.

tinpis
7th May 2009, 20:20
Back in the Limerick ward with you Mr Frostbite, theres a good chap.

lomapaseo
7th May 2009, 21:53
you guys have it easy

I get addressed by the counter girls as dearie and honey

dumb bitches :mad:

frostbite
7th May 2009, 21:53
Nurse said I could have a walk round, but not go too far.

Sprogget
7th May 2009, 21:54
I fear old age & I int kidding.

spinnaker
7th May 2009, 22:02
I fear old age & I int kidding.
I've had a real shitty time health wise with back problems. I have lost some use of my right leg. Bugger I cant get around my farm any more.......or can I.

Spinnakers new invalid buggy (http://www.suzuki-gb.co.uk/bike/lta400fk8/) :E

tony draper
7th May 2009, 22:16
I have a bad right leg as well but it only hurts when I walk on it. :uhoh:

Avitor
7th May 2009, 22:22
I have a bad right leg as well but it only hurts when I walk on it. :uhoh:

Mine's the left peg. :bored:

I have no complaints against the young 'un's. :ok:

Sprogget
7th May 2009, 22:35
My dad suffered towards the end. I don't mind being dead, I just don't like the thought of dying. Over a number of years.

At least dying at a slightly less comfortable rate than my peers.

goudie
7th May 2009, 22:45
To quote Woody Allen 'I don't mind dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens!''

Wod
8th May 2009, 01:45
So, what is "old age"?

For the individual I think it is a state of mind thing rather than a chronological thing. Mother-in-law (whom I love), is 87 years young, yet I have a 65 year old neighbour who behaves "old-aged".

The community at large seems to go with "six score years and ten" plus or minus a bit.

Personally the older I get, the faster I was, but I'm nowhere near old age.
(Must be the medication);)

ChrisVJ
8th May 2009, 03:08
Old age is when you fart twice before coffee time.

ExSp33db1rd
8th May 2009, 04:38
Old age is not for the faint-hearted.

Getting out of the car the other day at the Supemarket, the lady in the next car told her daughter to " .. close your door dear, so that old man can get out of his car..... " !!!! At age 74 I felt like sueing her for age discrimination ! I still held a Class1 Licence medical then as well ( tho' the Kardiak Kops are looking sideways at it now ! )

Davaar
8th May 2009, 05:43
For the individual I think it is a state of mind thing rather than a chronological thing.

That is an attractive but unfortunately mistaken view, as you find out when you think: "I am tired of this lawyering business. I am going to apply for that job as CEO of [insert whatever]", and your c.v. starts in 1952.

No matter how stupid the recruiter may be (and that can be "very") he can usually estimate, although quite often not count.

Not to worry, though. There is the dodge called "self-employment", and many rivals in their thirties believe of themselves and will say to your face: "Can't teach an old dog new tricks". Oh Yes one can! Oh Yes one can! You can't, maybe, but I can. I learn them all the time.

Mind you, "six score years and ten" puts you at 130 years old, and I expect the lower back pain does start to act up a bit as you pass 129.

sitigeltfel
8th May 2009, 06:17
Old age is when you fart twice before coffee time.

No, old age is when you're scared to fart :uhoh:

Sprogget
8th May 2009, 06:19
There is the dodge called "self-employment", and many rivals in their thirties believe of themselves and will say to your face: "Can't teach an old dog new tricks".

I'm in that dodge & have been told that repeatedly. Not that I particularly wish to join anyone else's party.

ArthurR
8th May 2009, 06:51
Me, I want to die in my sleep like my father, not screaming like the passengers in his car.:E

blue up
8th May 2009, 08:22
http://www.allowe.com/images/DemotivationalPosters/Demotivation23.jpg

spinnaker
8th May 2009, 08:24
No, old age is when you're scared to fart
Wrong. Old age is when you don't even care if you follow through.

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

GroundedSLF
8th May 2009, 08:49
Spinnaker - I think old age is when you dont KNOW you`ve followed through !!:eek:

sitigeltfel
8th May 2009, 08:54
The Life of Man........

http://i231.photobucket.com/albums/ee201/sitigeltfel/Lifeofman.jpg

ExSp33db1rd
8th May 2009, 09:35
Middle age is when you forget to button ( or zip ) up your flies after a pee. Old age is when you forget to unbutton them.

Avitor
8th May 2009, 09:45
...when your potential beneficiaries take added interest in you, and visit more.

henry crun
8th May 2009, 10:14
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v712/crun9/shirt.jpg

This t-shirt hangs in my wardrobe

Storminnorm
8th May 2009, 10:18
What's a zipper???

max1
8th May 2009, 10:20
As we age
Never knock back a leg over
Never pass a toilet without using it
Never trust a fart

Keef
8th May 2009, 10:22
What's a zipper???
I believe it's American for Zip.

Over there, Zip means "nothing" so they had to invent a new word for Rei▀verschlu▀.

Storminnorm
8th May 2009, 10:24
Aahhh! That'll be ex-President Bush then?

Davaar
8th May 2009, 11:10
I suspect the Americans were there first:
The B. F. Goodrich Company coined the name Zipper in 1923 for the line of rubber overshoes that it made using the fastener. The name slowly came to be associated with the fastener itself, and eventually acquired generic status.

Wikipedia.

In my RN uniform of 1955 the fly in the pants -- forgive me! trousers! -- is resolutely fastened by buttons. Would an NO use a zip? The question need not even be entertained!

Might as well suggest he wear a collar-attached shirt.

Wod
8th May 2009, 11:56
Mind you,
Quote:
"six score years and ten"
puts you at 130 years old, and I expect the lower back pain does start to act up a bit as you pass 129.

What was the question again??

And thank you for asking, but the back's fine this evening. So far.

parabellum
8th May 2009, 12:11
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum


Q:Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?



A:Try a bookstore under fiction.


Q:What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause?


A:Keep busy. If you're handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you're done you'll have a
place to live.


Q:Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in
the bible. Isthat true?
Where canitbefound?


A:Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt "


Q:How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband?


A:Tell him you're pregnant.


Q:How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles?


A:Take off your glasses.


Q:Seriously! What can I do for
these Crow's feet and all
those wrinkles on my face?


A:Go braless. It will usually pull
them out.


Q:Why should 60-plus year old
people use valet parking?


A:Valets don't forget where they
park your car.


Q:Is it common for 60-plus year
olds to have problems with
short term memory storage?


A:Storing memory is not a problem,
Retrieving it is the problem.


Q:As people age, do they sleep
More soundly?


A:Yes, but usually in the afternoon.


Q:Where should 60-plus year
olds look for eye glasses?


A:On their foreheads.


Q:What is the most common
remark made by 60-plus
year olds when they enter
antique stores?


A:"Gosh, I remember these!"

sitigeltfel
8th May 2009, 12:15
Q:Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?

If you are over 60, and extremely wealthy, they will find you ;)

ArthurR
8th May 2009, 12:22
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1 I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2 My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3 I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6 All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7 If all is not lost, where is it?
8 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
15 It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

Davaar
8th May 2009, 13:40
Originally Posted by parabellum

Q:Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?

Easy:

1. Have a heart attack and survive long enough; or
2. Be diagnosed with severe heart disease; and
3. Be admitted to your local heart-cutting abattoir (I am extrapolating here from our local spot, but I am sure I am right about yours too);
4. Have the triple by-pass, valve regrind, or whatever, and survive;
5. Enrol in an interrogation-resisting class such as might prepare you to meet the SAS or the water-board at Guantanamo;
6. Enrol in the post-procedure rehabilitation class attached to the abattoir;
7. Put the lessons in 5 to use as you resist the lady survivors who want your name, rank, number, telephone number, address, e-mail address, fax address, net worth, car driven, list of dependants, etc., etc. These may not be really young chicks, but young enough to be dangerous, their gym-strip will be from the most expensive ladies' emporium, and they will be personally resolute, determined, and beyond embarrassment. They wanna know, they wanna know NOW, their past-holder of the over 65 title has passed to Higher Service, and they want a replacement: YOU MAY NOT BE PERFECT BUT YOU WILL DO WELL ENOUGH;
8. See you, see me, Jimmy; Ah'm tell'n ye. So Ah am, but.

ExSp33db1rd
8th May 2009, 21:38
Might as well suggest he wear a collar-attached shirt


or even a button-down colllar one ! ( with clip-on tie ! )


(heads for door .... )