PDA

View Full Version : Design an Aussie Fighter! (Thoughts please)


Buster Hyman
29th Apr 2009, 13:34
Screw this! The Yanks wont sell us any Raptors & the F-35 is taking forever! The RAAF needs you to design a new Aussie fighter!!!

First & foremost, it has to be able to hit Jakarta...don't ask me why, it just has to!

Secondly, it needs to be able to outperform the F111. We love the pig down here & we're going to miss them!:(

Thirdly, it needs to be able to carry one tonne in the back...like a ute...so it doesn't have to be ordinance.

Towing a caravan is optional.

What else do we need to defend a large continent full of muffin topped Kylies?

Worrals in the wilds
29th Apr 2009, 13:37
That's where you're barking down the wrong path.
NOTHING can out perform the Pig :}


What else do we need to defend a large continent full of muffin topped Kylies?

Not Kevins, that's for sure!

simon brown
29th Apr 2009, 13:44
Whatever its called, the upward consensual intonation, when referred to, will render its ability questionable

bnt
29th Apr 2009, 13:51
I agree?

They could save on fuel costs by making it boomerang-shaped: that way, they could launch it, and it would return to base without needing to use the engines. :ok:

airship
29th Apr 2009, 13:54
May one propose the RAFALE 'D' (for Tasmanian Devil) variante:

http://www.defesanet.com.br/rv/le_bourget_05/imagens/rafale_c.jpg

List price 65 million each (volume discounts available). Or supplied on 'barter basis' for equivalent value in sheep, beef, and/or mineral ores. Bonus: RAAF and Tasmanian Devil's 'bared teeth' decals on nose thrown in F.O.C.! Additional bonus: Luxury accommodation, 'haute cuisine' and free conversion supplied to RAAF pilots. Senior officers etc. will also have use of exclusive villas within easy travelling distance of Monaco, Nice and Cannes, all with swimming pool overlooking the Mediterranean sea, for the duration of the contract, or 10 years, whichever is the longer. :ok:

Track5milefinal
29th Apr 2009, 14:00
What else do we need to defend a large continent full of muffin topped Kylies?


Kevin's muffin topped better half is enough to make any grown man run for the hills!

er340790
29th Apr 2009, 14:02
"Thirdly, it needs to be able to carry one tonne in the back...like a ute."

Preferably configured in some sort of....ahem, pouch???

unstable load
29th Apr 2009, 14:33
Saab Gripen??

Buying from Uncle Sam always has attachments that can stick in your craw.

GroundedSLF
29th Apr 2009, 14:53
If you need a fighter - why not a PROJECTILE ORDINANCE MISSILE, otherwise known as a POM

Everyone knows that POM`s are the best fighters in the world!

surely not
29th Apr 2009, 14:57
Yea but with Noise becoming a consideration in these green spirited days a POM would be refused on account of the incredibly loud whining noise which so many make

forget
29th Apr 2009, 15:03
Been done. :hmm:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b270/cumpas/Boomerang_28AWM_040829.jpg

Rhyspiper
29th Apr 2009, 15:18
It would need a heads up cricket/AFL/neighbours display, an onboard BBQ and Fridge unit with ackker dakker blaring through the cans on repeat.

Am I being too stereotypical? :}

Buster Hyman
29th Apr 2009, 15:20
Oh, and it needs heavy local content to assist with the projected cost blow outs & capability deficiencies...not to mention the strikes!

Rainboe
29th Apr 2009, 15:36
Needs attachment points for external storage of surfboard, and a locker for thongs and Bermuda shorts and Oakleys.

BlueDiamond
29th Apr 2009, 15:37
Here ya go ... a real time-saver. Train twenty students at a time. :ok: :E

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v511/BlueDiamond01/trainer.jpg

GroundedSLF
29th Apr 2009, 16:12
Pilot uniform is a sleeveless vest

Regulation haircut, choice of mullett or tight curly perm - or both!

GPMG
29th Apr 2009, 16:25
As for names....how about we call it the BRUCE ?

Storminnorm
29th Apr 2009, 16:35
Might upset Sir Br8ce Forsyth!!
Gotta take care y'know.

Lon More
29th Apr 2009, 17:28
Might find something here (http://store.digitalstores.co.uk/cartoonnetwork/Foster-s-Home-for-Imaginary-Friends/Paper-Plane-Project-Notebook-LIMITED-STOCK/article.html?b=fostershome&a=FHNB01)

Mac the Knife
29th Apr 2009, 17:30
"Saab Gripen?? Buying from Uncle Sam always has attachments that can stick in your craw."

You'll be able to pick up ours for a song once it is realised that we have no-one to fly 'em!

Dunno what sort of nick they'll be in though......

:ok:

frostbite
29th Apr 2009, 17:37
Does it need to have a boomerang launcher?

Rather be Gardening
29th Apr 2009, 17:51
Why not stick some wings on this....?

http://www.madmaxmovies.com/cars/madmax2/Pappagallo/LoneWolf.jpg

Lon More
29th Apr 2009, 20:38
Does it need to have a boomerang launcher

Only if you want to use it again

Wholigan
29th Apr 2009, 20:58
Design an Aussie Fighter!


Easy - just give him some beer and some Bundaberg and let him loose!!!

:E

mtoroshanga
29th Apr 2009, 21:19
I personally couldn't give a XXXX.

Buster Hyman
29th Apr 2009, 23:10
The aircraft must be available to fight during a 38 hour week, however, it only does a 9 day fortnight with weekends off. Must be a 2 crew aircraft (for safety purposes) + 2 more crew to cover meal & smoko breaks.

Howard Hughes
30th Apr 2009, 00:08
Any Aussie fighter would have to be called the 'Jeff Fenech' wouldn't it?:E

Of course it would need to be made in China!:eek:

notmyC150v2
30th Apr 2009, 00:11
We don't need to design a fighter. The RAAF is fitted for, but not with, fighters. We can just buy some when we get into a tiff with a neighbor. :ugh:

Buster Hyman
30th Apr 2009, 00:43
I think the bi-plane design should be re examined. I reckon that idea was abandoned too quickly. Just think of all those extra hardpoints for the surfboard & the BBQ's!

Pinky the pilot
30th Apr 2009, 00:51
Make sure there's room in the cockpit for a 303, a 12 gauge and a six pack of Coopers Ale.

unstable load
30th Apr 2009, 00:55
You'll be able to pick up ours for a song once it is realised that we have no-one to fly 'em!

Dunno what sort of nick they'll be in though......



That's the problem, Mac
By the time our lot are done with them they will be in bits, and not spare parts bits - rather bits of scrap.
Eisch!

Overdrive
30th Apr 2009, 01:14
Regulation haircut, choice of mullett or tight curly perm - or both!


The curls, on the top only, are to be blond, the rest of it mid-dark brown.

brickhistory
30th Apr 2009, 01:30
With a big kni-i--i-i-fe on its back.

Ogre
30th Apr 2009, 04:08
What, no 'roo bars?

I suppose the competition will come down to Holden or Ford, everything else on the roads around here is just an obstacle.

Wiley
30th Apr 2009, 05:25
Let's see.. Each wing hardpoint would have to be capable of carrying a sixpack of tinnies.

VTOL - so it could land on the beach.

There'd be a few 'nice to have' extras, like range, weapons, stealth, air fighting abilities. However, in these hard economic times, (and so as not to offend the Indonesians or the Chinese with any 'offensive' offensive/defensive capabilities), I think we'd better stick to the necessities.

That's about all, I think.

Someone get these specs to Angus and he'll be able to save Our Ken a motsa in the next budget.

Rollingthunder
30th Apr 2009, 05:33
http://wallpaper.searchrealm.com/Jets/jet-CF-105AvroArrow.jpg

I have the plans.

Buster Hyman
30th Apr 2009, 06:05
...and nothing with leaves on it!:=

Airey Belvoir
30th Apr 2009, 11:46
Whatever we come up with it will have to be OK'd by the Chinese first.

(See references to Comrade Kev's brilliant plan of submitting the Australian Defence Review for approval by the Chinese government BEFORE Her Majesty's Opposition have had a chance to see it !!!! FFS!) :ugh:

airgrunt
30th Apr 2009, 14:47
[QUOTE](See references to Comrade Kev's brilliant plan of submitting the Australian Defence Review for approval by the Chinese government BEFORE Her Majesty's Opposition have had a chance to see it !!!! FFS!)/QUOTE]

Can't seem to find any reference to this. Airy, can you provide a link or a source of this snippet of information ????

RJM
30th Apr 2009, 15:26
For a moment, RT, I thought you said 'I have the PLANES!'

Impressed, I was.

Airey Belvoir
30th Apr 2009, 16:11
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/29/2555389.htm (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/29/2555389.htm)


China briefed on defence blueprint

Posted Wed Apr 29, 2009 5:03am AEST
Updated Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:21am AEST
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200803/r231099_922869.jpg (http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200803/r231099_922876.jpg)White paper: Chinese officials have been briefed about Australia's future defence plans (Australian Defence Force)


The Federal Opposition has called on the Government to explain why Chinese authorities have been briefed on Australia's new defence blueprint before the Coalition.
The lead author of the Government's defence white paper, Michael Pezzullo, has been sent to China to discuss the document ahead of its release.
The white paper outlines Australia's defence needs for the next 20 years and beyond and makes recommendations on equipment the Government should buy.
The Opposition's defence spokesman David Johnston says it is curious the Chinese government has been consulted before the Australian people.
"Our neighbours and our trading partners are getting a full and frank briefing from the likes of Mr Pezzullo who is a very senior defence official and I find it quite curious that the opposition can't get a briefing," Mr Johnston said.
He says the Government should be taking a bi-partisan approach to matters of defence.
"I just find it curious that Mr Pezzullo would go to China and other places to brief people without the Opposition being informed broadly what's going on, but that's the way this government does its business."

So with a Prime Minister like Comrade Krudd who needs defence - we've already surrendered.

Windy Militant
30th Apr 2009, 16:36
RAAF Museum (http://www.airforce.gov.au/raafmuseum/exhibitions/hangar180/pika.htm)http://www.airforce.gov.au/raafmuseum/exhibitions/hangar180/images/P180-Pika.jpg
Hows about this I think we've a few of the Jindiviks still knocking about here somwhere, save a few bob converting them back into Pikas. :}

Mr Grimsdale
30th Apr 2009, 16:43
How sweet. It's even got a thin red smile painted under the nose.

Rollingthunder
30th Apr 2009, 16:46
Yup, that will scare them.

RJM
30th Apr 2009, 16:48
That stripey thing behind it must be its hat.

Rollingthunder
30th Apr 2009, 16:57
And you Aussie folks are threatend by what?

Russian Bears from the Antarctic?
AN2s from Jakarta?
Beavers from New Zealand?
Crappy missles from North Korea? (what a joke)(laughs uncontrollably)(**** for brains)

RJM
30th Apr 2009, 18:40
Imho, RT military threats to Australia are most likely to be from foreign ships or aircraft trying to project force into our region, although judging by Hulun Cluck (now out to pasture at the UN, thankfully) NZ could have some fairly frightening beaver at their disposal. No disrespect to kiwi chick of course...

Rollingthunder
30th Apr 2009, 18:55
OK, sorted.

http://www.stushepherdart.com/files/AC47Spooky_568.jpg

C-47 Spooky.

DX Wombat
30th Apr 2009, 22:02
What about resurrecting this one?
http://www.flagheaven.co.nz/prodimages/boxing-kangaroo_m.gif
Oh, and so far, I haven't seen any mention of provision for a portable bbq and the ingredients for a good meat-cremation session.

Mr Grimsdale
1st May 2009, 09:26
Beavers from New Zealand?

Leave Nicole Kidman out of it!

tony draper
1st May 2009, 09:31
Buy these lumpy ones,yer get them in kits and put them together yourself.
http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a194/Deaddogbay/F16.jpg
:rolleyes:

Flying Binghi
1st May 2009, 11:30
First & foremost, it has to be able to hit Jakarta...don't ask me why, it just has to!


Correction - First and foremost it has to be able to hit Shee(p)-bang-a bang.... Has all fergot that the first act of the Shee(p)-bang-a-bang Airforce was to attack an Oz ship!!!???

...don't ask me why, it just has to be, avenged..:E

er340790
1st May 2009, 14:02
An Australian fighter?

Why? Are the Kiwis going to invade?

"AUSSIES! KNOW YOUR PLACE!"

Now get back to the BBQ ......and take that ridiculous Aussie shampoo with you.

RJM
1st May 2009, 14:39
That 'shampoo' is better than Leopard so-called Lager, and better for you.

Buster Hyman
1st May 2009, 14:39
Are the Kiwis going to invade?
I guess you haven't been to the Gold Coast for a while eh bro?

Evanelpus
1st May 2009, 16:16
Pilot uniform is a sleeveless vest

Regulation haircut, choice of mullett or tight curly perm - or both!

Strewth, always thought Rab C Nesbitt was Scottish!

fitliker
1st May 2009, 18:16
Why would an aussie PM do that?
Why would anyone want to see the Plans ? Unless they where going to build the parts for it or bid for the complete build :E:E

Ken Wells
1st May 2009, 21:20
http://i595.photobucket.com/albums/tt35/cptkenwells/vb-005.jpg


HOW ABOUT A BOOMERANG STEALTH:D

vonbag
1st May 2009, 21:42
This one would look "kosher" enough (ach) and resembling a Marsupial, in my way of seeing it:

http://www.luft46.com/aoart/ao381-4.jpg

It's certainly needy of basilar improvements.

Ken Wells
1st May 2009, 21:51
should have gone to Specsavers

Low Flier
1st May 2009, 21:58
The Strine Joint Shytefighter is ready for deployment
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c105/The_Forester/F150.jpg
AAR looks a bit sporty, Hoskins