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modtinbasher
27th Apr 2009, 13:09
In order to continue getting-by in England, we all need to re-learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'.

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.


The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and the room-service operator somewhere in good old England today......

Room Service : 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.'

Guest : 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'

Room Service: ' Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???'

Guest: 'Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.'

Room Service: 'Ow July den?'

Guest: '....What??'

Room Service: 'Ow July den?!?.. Pryed, boyud, poochd?'

Guest: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please.'

Room Service: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?'

Guest: 'Crisp will be fine.'

Room Service: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?'

Guest: 'What?'

Room Service: 'An toes. July Sahn toes?'

Guest: 'I... Don't think so.'

RoomService: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???'

Guest: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.'

RoomService: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?'

Guest: 'Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'

RoomService: 'We bodder?'

Guest: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.'

RoomService: 'Wad?!?'

Guest: 'I mean butter.... Just put the butter on the side.'

RoomService: 'Copy?'

Guest: 'Excuse me?'

RoomService: 'Copy...tea...meel?'

Guest: 'Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything.'

RoomService: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... Rye ??'

Guest: 'Whatever you say.'

Room Service: 'Tenjooberrymuds.'

Guest: 'You're welcome'

Remember I said 'By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TEN JOOBERRY MUDS' '.....and you do, don't you!


MTB

frostbite
27th Apr 2009, 14:44
Reminds me of the female cretin I recently bought something from on eBay.

I'm having problems with it which are not helped by all her communications in txt spk.

Mr Grimsdale
27th Apr 2009, 15:32
I sent this on to one of my politically correct friends, I think they're suitably offended in a self-righteous manner!

If you've got anymore please post them.:}

Paradise Lost
27th Apr 2009, 17:46
Tenjooberrymuds mottinbrassa, ow I laft and laft aroud.

ve3id
28th Apr 2009, 03:05
A friend of mine was accosted by a man near the docks in Liverpool, oh, somewhere in the mid nineteen-sixties.

He said "busta face"

Quite taken aback, he asked him to repeat

"busta face" the man gesticulated with some meaningless arm motions

As he raised his hand to protect himself from the expected blow, the man took out a letter he wanted to mail. "busta face, where I get a bustage stamp"

It seems it has always been the same, they have just moved inland!

david1300
28th Apr 2009, 04:35
Reminds me of our regular Wednesday night takeaway:

Led Ramb Cully with Coconut Lice, and a starter of Deep Fly Plawn.

But the Thai waitress is very cute ;)

Standard Noise
28th Apr 2009, 07:30
Eye stikkinout, oul han!

Reminds me of the 'Mujibar goes to a job interview' joke.

Burnt Fishtrousers
28th Apr 2009, 13:04
customer : "This Chicken is rubbery"

Chinese waiter "Fang yoo velly mush"

FlightTester
28th Apr 2009, 14:26
...when I was in Singapore some years back. We were eating at the flight line feeder, and the very nice old lady (60+) who ran the place asked me if I needed a f*ck. Quite taken aback I said something along the lines of "excuse me madam!", she replied "you wanna f*ck, or spoon to eat wid"

Storminnorm
28th Apr 2009, 14:33
The Chinese have erections very rarely.
That's why they are still Communist.
( RIP Benny Hill.)