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alwayzinit
25th Apr 2009, 16:58
I know that the breed that is Teenagers have been around as long as Man, we've all been one I know and with that knowledge my respect for my Pa has become immense.

How the hell did he not choke the living [email protected] out of me or leave me bleeding and blubbering?

I have 2 of this lovely breed, Girl 17, going on 5 or 35 depending on which way the wind blows, my son and heir (yeah RIGHT!) 15 1/2, all hormones, grunts and attitude.

Now I can deal with the mood swings the grunts and the Oh my God Dad you know nothing, but what just presses all my buttons is the spawny little scrote's attitude.

AAAAAArgh :ugh:

I daydream about him maybe showing the slightest bit of thanks for oh I don't know, his new F...ing trainers, or just saying "Thanks Dad"

And the best bit..............

As far as Mrs Init is concerned I'm just being grumpy and shouldn't be so hard on him/her.:ugh:

I just remember when I was their age getting the living brown stuff knocked out of me by the prefects at boarding school if I ever dared to step out of line. Only problem can't afford 20K + each to send the buggers away.

Ah rant over, thankyou.:ok:

Any insights or clues from thems who have survived teenagers, I am all ears.

Roger Sofarover
25th Apr 2009, 17:11
Switch off, It doesn't get any easier for at least 10 years.

larssnowpharter
25th Apr 2009, 17:13
Sorry, can't help. Sent them to boarding school. Get a part time job?

V2-OMG!
25th Apr 2009, 17:25
I do not have any children, never mind teenagers, but from what I've seen, the challenge with a 15 1/2 year-old boy is keeping him fed.

With the 17 year-old girl, keeping her dressed according to what's up to snuff with her peers without putting you in the poorhouse (and/or nuthouse). Unfortunately, that up to snuff look can resemble a five-year old lolita and/or a 35 year-old harlot.......and then you have another kind of worry entirely.

When I was a teenage girl what I remember most is just wanting to be left alone. I didn't like being asked a lot of questions. It wasn't because I was up to no good -
was just trying to figure out what life was supposed to be about etc. etc. etc.

Standard Noise
25th Apr 2009, 17:36
Teenagers bleeding? Yep, best state to leave them in if you ask me.
I'd try it myself but Noisy jnr leads a strange nocturnal existence, we go for days (even up to a week) without clapping eyes on him, the miserable, ungrateful, lying, lazy, unhelpful, selfish, multi-pierced, expensive little fecker.

corsair
25th Apr 2009, 17:48
Don't know much except my own memories. But my sister accidently came upon a method of gaining some peace, however temporarily. After putting up with the usual messing about led by the teenager. She finally absolutely volcanically exploded and told them all in no certain terms what she thought of them. It was a combination of events, building up, including various outside tensions. Afterwards she stopped talking to them. It worked as they tip toed around their newly deranged Mother. Little jobs were mysteriously done around the house that never were before and peace reigns at least for now.

She of course is now highly amused by this, having got it out of her system and is wondering how to exploit the success. It is however the nuclear option and only to used when the enemy absolutely refuses to surrender.

A last resort.

goudie
25th Apr 2009, 17:51
I had three lovely little girls and then they became teenagers! Only another teenager can understand teenagers.
Somehow we all got through it and in fact some of the best family jokes and stories come from that time. They are all lovely mature women now, with families, and I adore them.

tinpis
25th Apr 2009, 19:02
Goudie you give me hope. I thought maybe it was a fault of mine my lovely little daughter (mini-me) has turned into a 15 year old HARRIDAN :mad:
The transition was stunningly swift.

Standard Noise
25th Apr 2009, 19:12
a 15 year old HARRIDAN

Loved that.:D

AcroChik
25th Apr 2009, 19:18
"When I was a teenage girl what I remember most is just wanting to be left alone."

Exactly. That, plus the appropriate accessories for completing any outfit. The most cutting insult a woman can deliver about another is, "She doesn't know how to accessorize."

Aviation was always a family-oriented activity while I was growing up. An activity cultivating and rewarding even-tempered judgement and mature responsibility. This helped smooth a lot of otherwise rough edges.

goatface
25th Apr 2009, 19:21
alwayzinit

The fact that you went to boarding school is half the reason that you don't understand, largely because you never had a proper chance to put your parents through what you're experiencing now.
The other half is down to the fact that there isn't answer, it doesn't matter what our dear parents may say, we were all little shits at that age - it's just that the length of time being a little shit varies.

My two were generally little cherubs up to the age of 11, largely unbearable until 16 and are mostly OK now.
They're 17 & 19 now and I can't wait until they're both over 20, then they'll no longer be teenagers and no longer know everything.;)

tinpis
25th Apr 2009, 19:32
If I had of been caught and punished for all the larks I got up to as a teen (50/60s) I would just be eligible for parole now. :rolleyes:
Touch wood,my kids have shown no interest in the the joys of drugs, alcohol, and crashing cars :cool:

tony draper
25th Apr 2009, 19:37
We never had this problem when we sent the freckers out to earn a living at 12, they spend to many years behind desks now instead of working down the pits or minding a loom int Mill, and bringing in a wage.
:rolleyes:

ArthurR
25th Apr 2009, 20:07
Mr D, I think your idea would be fine, but you have to send them up Chiimneys at 6 first, cetral heating bu66ered up that vocation for them though, start a petition to bring back coal fires..:D

Lon More
25th Apr 2009, 20:32
start a petition to bring back coal fires..

and light them whilst the little feckers are up there.

Paradise Lost
25th Apr 2009, 21:17
Init, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news for you..........
the "little scote", offspring of your loins, could actually get worse yet, but the good news is that eventually communication gets restored, after which time he may even become your friend and drinking buddy (you'll still be paying for the beer though!). You should console yourself with the knowledge that every parent has experienced the same, so don't blame yourself or Mrs Init............shits happen!

Dushan
25th Apr 2009, 21:37
When I was 17 my father was the dumbest man on earth. It is amazing how much he had learned by the time I reached 25.

Son of the Bottle
25th Apr 2009, 23:31
Notice seen at my local barber shop:

Teenagers! Sick & tired of putting up with fuddy-duddy, know-nothing parents?
Get a job and leave home whilst you still know it all!


There was another notice, long since removed, don't know why:

Children left unattended will be towed away at owners' expense.

Capt Claret
25th Apr 2009, 23:49
SOTB,

The same two notices are nailed to a palm tree at a cafe at Port Douglas, Far North Queensland. :}

This thread helps make me realise that as a father of two, I wasn't really alone!

Blacksheep
25th Apr 2009, 23:53
When I was fifteen going on sixteen, we were rowing about my school report and I said "It doesn't matter a damn, I'll be sixteen soon and I leave at the end of the term!" My Dad brought me up short with his reply -

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that, son. Have you given any thought as to where you're going to live?"

Six weeks after my sixteenth birthday he handed me five pounds as the train pulled out of the station. I now know that he was as worried about my leaving as I was, but at the time he never batted an eyelid.

alwayzinit
26th Apr 2009, 04:48
Thank you Guys and gals for the feedback.

Its amazing how a good nights sleep puts things into a fresh light.

Now whether Mrs Init nudged the spawny little scrote or not but I got a " Morning Dad, sorry for being a knob last night!":eek: Little angel!.............................................

I wonder what he wants:cool:?

cdtaylor_nats
26th Apr 2009, 22:20
My mate told his 16-year old daughter she looked like a hooker, so she told him "Dad, you would never catch me playing rugby".

She at least admits she doesn't know everything - I was explaining to her that if she wants her father to buy her a car when she passes her driving test next year all she has to do is get the local paper, highlight second hand motor bikes she can afford and leave the paper where her Mother will find it. She thinks I am a genius :)

Atlas Shrugged
26th Apr 2009, 23:40
Teenagers.....best excuse for the pill I've ever seen. Come to think of it, both of my boys should have been wasted on the sheets!

Capt Claret
26th Apr 2009, 23:48
Bloody hell cdtaylor_nats, some mate you are! :}

visibility3miles
27th Apr 2009, 01:03
the challenge with a 15 1/2 year-old boy is keeping him fed.
Yup. It's after midnight on a school night, and what is he doing? Raiding the refrigerator.

Teenagers bleeding? Yep, best state to leave them in if you ask me.
He's bigger than me. Any other suggestions?

...the mood swings the grunts and the Oh my God Dad[Mom] you know nothing
Sigh.

At least I get to read the comic strip "Zits". It strikes a chord every time.
Today's Zits Comic Strip - ArcaMax Publishing (http://www.arcamax.com/zits)
http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/8/850/85008.gif

notmyC150v2
27th Apr 2009, 02:57
Mine are just 10 and 7 and I don't want them to turn into teenagers.


I just hope that when they do become miserable sh!ts I don't say anything to them that will affect the choice of retirement hostel they make for me...:eek:

Standard Noise
27th Apr 2009, 08:44
He's bigger than me. Any other suggestions?

A big stick?:} Mind you Noisy jnr is bigger than me, but age and guile will beat youth and size everytime.:E

Mine are just 10 and 7 and I don't want them to turn into teenagers.

Turning into teenagers is unavoidable, the trick is not letting it happen too early. Society has a lot to answer for.
I keep in touch with a mate of mine who's a rozzer in the Met. He keeps asking for tips on what to do (his eldest is 13 and youngest is 5 with two others in between). I told him he's already done the best thing in having more than one. His worst problem will come when the youngest gets to 13 or 14.

Sprogget
27th Apr 2009, 09:43
You can't stop it, they get dragged into it by their mates. First one turns up at school with an Ipod, then a funky top, next thing you know they're all chasing horse & copping with supermodels.:}

For me the trick will be to make sure my dear heart has a childhood like you say SN. It's never appreciated & it doesn't return, so I'm keen that she makes the best of it while it's around. She'll be a long time grown up after all.

kiwi chick
27th Apr 2009, 09:44
Haha Goudie, it sounds like I'm only a few years behind you!

notmyC150v2 ditto but add in a 12 year old girl as well.

Crikey I nearly tear my hair out with them!! All girls; all hormones and hair ties and lip gloss...

....and the much fantasized trip to the Psych ward for a break. Me, I mean. :ok:

Eldest Chicklet has taken to calling Middle Chicklet "fat" when she's pissed at her, so Middle Chicklet (once the tears have stopped) retaliates by telling Eldest Chicklet that she's getting boobs. Eldest Chicklet (once the tears have stopped) re-retaliates by slapping Middle Chicklet.

Youngest Chicklet watches all from afar then siddles up to frustrated (read as: screaming, banshee-like) mother to plant a well-executed superbly-manipulated kiss on the cheek.

Youngest Chicklet gets a car for her birthday, others get nothing.

goudie
27th Apr 2009, 10:33
You have my sympathy Kiwi Chick, sibling rivalry knows no bounds,
but beware, they'll gang up on you when it suits them!

One morning the eldest two (12 & 10) were having a punch-up before getting ready for school. I went into their bedroom to remonstrate and they said, ''Dad do you mind, we're getting dressed.'' I mumbled an apology and went away thinking, maybe I should knock on the door now they're growing up.

Many years later they told me that whenever I knocked on their bedroom door to give them a 'talking to', they just had to say ''can't come in, we're not dressed'' ( they usually were apparantly) to get rid of me, knowing I usually cooled down in a few minutes.

My daughters each produced a grandson, to balance things up, and D.no2 a grandaughter too, who is now 15. When her mum says ''honestly dad I don't know what's got into Lucy lately, she's quite impossible sometimes''. I smile inwardly and realise 'what goes around.........................!'
Lucy is, of course, the apple of my eye and loves being 'my favourite granddaughter'.

Pinky the pilot
27th Apr 2009, 10:39
Reading all the preceding posts has merely reinforced my appreciation at managing to successfully avoiding Fatherhood!:ok: Well, as far as I am aware anyway.:hmm:

I will admit, however, to on occasion wondering just what it is I have missed out on. But only occasionally.

kiwi chick
27th Apr 2009, 11:08
It's a double-edged sword Pinky, a very double-edged sword... :ok:

I wouldn't be without em for the world now that I have them. They are my world.:)

Would I do it all again had I known what it would be like? Honestly, I can't say I definitely would. :sad:

Checkboard
27th Apr 2009, 11:53
I know that the breed that is Teenagers have been around as long as Man,

Actually, I think teenagers (being old enough to go out, run around and cause trouble, but not expected by society to actually work for their money) were invented in the 1950s. Look at all the old B&W movies from before then, like the Mickey Rooney stuff and all the people in their teens look and act like small adults, wearing suits, working part time jobs etc.

Nick Riviera
27th Apr 2009, 12:24
I've got two boys, 7 & 4, who I sometimes think will never make it to their teen years. It alternates between my wife and I as to who will be serving the life sentence for double murder. They seem to be living the same relationship that I had with my older brother, switching from greatest friends to worst enemies and back again in the blink of an eye. My parents think it is hilarious when I rant about the trouble that the boys get into. I get the 'what goes around' line all the time. What is most amazing is how well behaved they are when anybody else looks after them; we get lots of praise about this. As soon as they get home it is like armageddon. As for food, I am dreading them getting any bigger as they are already starting to eat us out of house and home. I don't know where they put it as neither of them is carrying any excess weight.

Having said all of the above, there is not a thing I would change. They are the light of our lives and I couldn't imagine life without them. Coming home every day and having the pair of them throw themselves at me melts my heart. Ask me again in 10 years though and I may have a different answer!

airship
27th Apr 2009, 12:32
I wouldn't worry about teenagers too much. It would appear that the current Mexican swine-flu virus is particularly lethal to those aged 16-40, whilst sparing those younger and older...?! :ok::uhoh:

hellsbrink
27th Apr 2009, 13:54
Pah, you lot know nothing

Try suddenly becoming the STEPFATHER of two teenage daughters

lexxity
27th Apr 2009, 14:24
Nick your house sounds very much like mine. Except we have only the one 3 year old. Going on 33 mind. I keep expecting to be carted off in the bouncy ambulance to the bouncy house with the nice padded rooms.

Wouldn't be without him though. :ok:

goudie
27th Apr 2009, 14:27
Very courageous Hellsbrink!

Blacksheep
27th Apr 2009, 14:44
I think teenagers...were invented in the 1950s. Look at all the old B&W movies from before then...and all the people in their teens look and act like small adults...When my Dad was a teenager he was in a Liverpool based gang of tearaways. They were a mean bunch that carried guns and knives and weren't scared of using them. They'd spend days on end complaining about being bored and would sometimes break the boredom by a bit of vandalism. On one occasion they completely vandalised someone's boat and sank it. On a trip to France they vandalised half a dozen expensive speed boats, setting them on fire and followed that up a few days later by blowing up another boat, killing a group of eighty five German tourists who were on a day trip to the Isle of Wight in the process.

He eventually grew out of his teens, gave up his violent ways and settled down as a quiet, family man. Teenagers were rough little b*ggers in his day (1939 -45).

visibility3miles
27th Apr 2009, 18:20
And you're called Blacksheep?

I'm afraid to ask why...

:eek: :ooh: :eek:

notmyC150v2
27th Apr 2009, 23:08
Maybe Blacksheep is just a pacifist and didn't fit in with his war hero dad???;)

reynoldsno1
29th Apr 2009, 00:54
I wish r1jr would just grunt - teenage girls are particularly vicious, and devious - never ever get the full story, even if the story is a downright lie to begin with ....

Blacksheep
29th Apr 2009, 07:12
Maybe Blacksheep is just a pacifist Moi? Dad was a hero to me, but he was really just another teenaged matelot in His Majesty's Royal Navy. If you want to find some very naughty teenagers look no further than the Royal Marine Commandos or the Parachute Regiment. ;)

The majority of teenagers in 1939 to 1945 (and afterwards in national Service) were in miltary service and the fifties were a time of austerity. Rationing wasn't restricted to food, it included clothing; so of course fifties teenagers looked like little adults. Once clothes rationing ended and Bill Hailey and his Comets came to town everything changed - very much for the better in my opinion.

ShyTorque
29th Apr 2009, 12:20
On a trip to France they vandalised half a dozen expensive speed boats, setting them on fire and followed that up a few days later by blowing up another boat, killing a group of eighty five German tourists who were on a day trip to the Isle of Wight in the process.

Only eighty five? My father killed more than that. He was a trainee cook in the German army.

airship
29th Apr 2009, 12:32
Only eighty five? My father killed more than that. He was a trainee cook in the German army. Experimenting on 'traditional British' fare and serving it to the Stoßtruppen as part of training exercises so as to minimise 'the shock' after they'd invaded, one hopes...?! ;)

airborne_artist
29th Apr 2009, 12:45
The #3 daughter is turning into a minor handfull, compared to her two elder sisters, who went through puberty fairly calmly.

By the looks of the waste glass bin I'm pretty sure that a fairly revolting bottle of corked South African white was consumed by her and her mates the other night - with luck the long-lingering taste of feline urine will have put her off alcohol for at least a week :E

Blacksheep
29th Apr 2009, 14:11
Learning about the dangers of cheap, corked and rancid wine is a rite of passage. 'Tis far better for young ladies to learn about such things in the peace and calm of the home than for them to lie semi-conscious and helpless in the street. ;)

cockney steve
30th Apr 2009, 12:38
The rebellious one of my three was told
" when you're 16, you can bugger off where you like, live how you like and take the consequences-or live on a desert island alone....but whilst you're here,in my house in this community, you abide by the civilised rules."

the other two were fine....all three got small allowances of pocket money and all worked paper-rounds etc. to earn their "spends"

The economics of "designer" labels was explained....if they wanted that, they were given the cost of a "sensible" item and paid the rest from "spends".....yea, the novelty of short-lived £100 plus trainers soon wore off.

All grown up, good citizens and THEY look after dad :)

The rebellious one is now the most "conformist" of the three! :hmm:

Gertrude the Wombat
30th Apr 2009, 14:24
The economics of "designer" labels was explained....if they wanted that, they were given the cost of a "sensible" item
Yeah, that works fine for us, give them £3.50 being the price of a pair of jeans in Tesco and if they want more than that they can earn the money. Sometimes they choose to do so, sometimes they go for Tesco.

Binoculars
30th Apr 2009, 14:45
Only one teenager left. The three oldest Binoettes all made it through those scary years, the only major drama being the horrors of anorexia with the top two, and let me tell you that fighting against an invisible enemy really is a horror, especially when the victims are extremely intelligent.

That aside, the top three now have degrees and are a delight to their ageing old man. Our little mistake is now 16 and seems as happy and well-adjusted as we could have any right to expect. Our frequent driving lessons, which will continue for a year before she can get her licence, are an absolute pleasure for me, a bonding exercise of the highest order.

So I suppose it's a relative matter; I too can look around at some of the ferals walking the street pushing a pram containing another lifetime welfare baby and feel despair at a whole generation, but that is the time to feel completely selfish and bathe in the warm glow of satisfaction that comes with knowing that four out of four is more than good luck. It inspires a slightly smug feeling that all the efforts of parenting, which contained as many difficulties as pleasures, were worthwhile.

As ye sew, so shall ye reap apparently. I am now reaping. If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have chosen the same path, I wouldn't have had children at all. But I know that while life would have been a lot easier, I would have been a poorer human for it.

Blacksheep
30th Apr 2009, 23:10
while life would have been a lot easier, I would have been a poorer human for it.Me? I'm stoney broke but still one of the richest men in the world. As that corny old song goes, "Thank heavens for little girls".

Pinky the pilot
1st May 2009, 11:24
As ye sew, so shall ye reap apparently. I am now reaping. If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have chosen the same path, I wouldn't have had children at all. But I know that while life would have been a lot easier, I would have been a poorer human for it.

Me? I'm stoney broke but still one of the richest men in the world. As that corny old song goes, "Thank heavens for little girls".

Damn it!!!!:ugh: Binos and Blacksheep! Just when I thought I had convinced myself that I had made the correct decision, you two had to go and say that!!:{:{:{:{

Ah well, such is Life. :ok:

Actually, I could relate an incident where I once walked through a shopping mall with an ex Girlfriend and her two daughters; I'll never forget the looks from people passing by....

Binoculars
1st May 2009, 13:33
Pinky, therein lies the conundrum. There is no correct decision. To each his/her own. My wife was never maternal until she had kids, but she is now contemptuous towards those who choose not to have them, saying they may as well be dead. No way have I ever agreed with that one.

Whichever choice you make, go with it and make it work. I can tell you for sure it's a lot easier to make single life work, and if you don't experience that pang of heartbreaking love, that fierce and absolute knowledge that you would cheerfully lay down your life for a small defenceless human you have brought into the world if it meant saving them from harm, a pang enough to reduce anybody to a sobbing wreck, then you won't miss it. Even when they are no longer small and defenceless. To me my girls will always be small and defenceless.

That's how it seems to work, at least for men. I have no intention of visiting the subject of women with ticking biological clocks...... how many lanes did you want on that bridge again? :uhoh:

Solid Rust Twotter
1st May 2009, 14:18
Slip them a Mickey, keep them under then wake them when they turn 25.

kiwi chick
2nd May 2009, 10:27
if you don't experience that pang of heartbreaking love, that fierce and absolute knowledge that you would cheerfully lay down your life for a small defenceless human

Gosh, I know that feeling very well. :)

percyprune
4th May 2009, 17:26
We have 3 boys :eek:

They are amazing, fabulous, annoying, exhausting and expensive and we wouldn't change them for anything :confused:

Mrs P and I met late, are middle aged parents with young children 11, 4 and 2............

We are trying to work our way at present through new maths, deal with explaining the human reproductive system with an 11 year old (who know's more than we do :O:O ) and at the same time trying to keep the 4 year old from beating up the 11 year old :{

I never thought I would marry! I wanted to get away from a dreadful relationship when I met my wife and then I fell for her like a ton of bricks :)

My eldest son is rapidly approaching teenage hell! :rolleyes: I now know what my father meant when he said our children are god's punishment for what we did to our parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :E

What to do. My wife and my children saved me from being a sad and lonely old man. Now I am happily a tired, broke, grey haired and content and happily getting old, old man :)

Our children are our sunrise in the morning and the sunset in the evening, our midnight cuddle, with the pure pleasure of having a 2 year old run to meet us as we come through the front door and the comfort of a four year old who loves to kiss us and tell us "I love you more than word's can say" and the 11 year old who is struggling to say sorry for being a complete pain in the backside and we wouldn't change it for anything, but to the single one's out there enjoy the space and embrace the change if and when it happens :ok:

At my age my parent's were grand parent's! I am very happy to be a parent at this age. I feel content :)

Oh, did I mention the expense :oh::oh::oh:

Evening Star
4th May 2009, 18:50
With Ms ES about to turn ten and already acting the pre-teen, preceding reads as a horror story of what to expect. Especially as in terms of volatile nature she is very much like her mother. As I write this they are shouting at each other in the living room. Think my study is only a temporary bolt hole ... time to look at a garden shed as can see teen years going to be a particular challenge.:eek::uhoh:

That said, following link is an example that being a teen does not automatically mean a person becomes an asocial waste of space:

Teen helps to save six from fire (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8032715.stm)

A very brave young man I would say.

Scott Diamond
4th May 2009, 19:33
I'm a teenager - glad to say I have a job, perform well at school (especially speeling) and make my parents proud... mostly cause my 19-year-old sister is a total 'harridan'! :}

fireflybob
4th May 2009, 19:36
Been there, got the T-shirt etc.

I know this won't help but it really is "normal" teenager behaviour! Don't worry they will grow up and adopt most of the values you believe in - my eldest son now reads the The Daily Telegraph even!

Bringing children up is like have a dog on a lead. When they are really young you have them on a tight lead, when they get older you have one of those extendable type leads. But then later you have to take the lead off and let them go their own way but don't worry they will return one day!

Funniest experience for me though as a single parent when my younger son was getting towards 16 years I decided to go out clubbing. About 1 am I get a call from him asking if I am ok! Next day he gave me a lecture on the risks of being out in town on a Saturday night! We laugh about it now.

Remember my sister telling her teenage son that she had to know where he was going in the evening. He asked "why do you need to know that?" - She said "Well if I or your brother/sister had an accident and was rushed into hospital wouldn't you want to know?" He then agreed - kinda turns the thing on its head.

Good Luck!