View Full Version : Favourite Graffiti?

19th Apr 2009, 21:05
Following on from a short burst of graffitti quotes in the "Al Udeid Morale Improvement" thread I though I'd start another thread for recording the Favourite Graffitti from your time(s) in the Forces:

My personal favourite was scribbled on the wall of the Airmans Toilet of Whirlwind Line at Tern Hill c1976:

"Its no good standing on the seat
The Crabs in here can jump six feet
And if you think thats bleeding high
go next door - those bastards fly!"

Well...it made me laugh at the time and I just never forgot it!


19th Apr 2009, 21:13
On another loo wall:

"I'd give my left prick to be normal."

Underneath, in different handwriting, and with ultimate sang froid:

"Then you'd be a right prick."

19th Apr 2009, 21:15
Don't drop your cigarette ends in the urinal. It turns them a funny colour and makes them almost unsmokable.
Loved the 'almost' :)

19th Apr 2009, 21:19
Welcome to RAF Stanley ATC........and we're still in the Midland Radar overhead

Alison Conway
19th Apr 2009, 21:23
Written on Decci loo wall:

Italian definition of suppository? Innuendo!

Different handwriting:

This suppository's no F£$%^&g good, I might as well shove it up my ar$e!

19th Apr 2009, 21:49

On three successive bridges on the M1.

19th Apr 2009, 22:08
Poster outside a church...."Jesus saves".

Underneath was written...."Sign him up for England then".

tony draper
19th Apr 2009, 22:34
I like Grils
Girls you illiterate f*cker
and what's wrong wi us Grils like?
Bottom of door on public toilet
Beware of Limbo Dancers

Atlas Shrugged
19th Apr 2009, 22:49
On a condom vending machine in a dunny in a city pub:

"For refund, put baby in slot"

19th Apr 2009, 23:07
This one is very common in universities. This was on the toilet cubicle wall with an arrow pointing at the toilet paper.

"Arts Degree, Please Take One".

James 1077
20th Apr 2009, 00:23
Here I sit,
And hesitate,
Shall I $hit
or masterbate?

20th Apr 2009, 00:27
An old one....

Hear I sit broken hearted
Payed my penny and only [email protected]

20th Apr 2009, 00:30
Just under a STOP sign at the end of my street, someone had neatly written "Hammer Time". Made me smile each morning on the way to work... :ok:

Lon More
20th Apr 2009, 00:32
My mother made me a queer.
Different hand writing, if I give her the wool, will she make me one?
Third handwriting, It only needs two balls

20th Apr 2009, 00:56
At a bus stop, a billboard loudly proclaimed;

Where will you be when Jesus comes again ?

Someone had written;

Still here waiting for a F*&%) Number 9 Bus!!

henry crun
20th Apr 2009, 01:48
An even older one.

Printed: ............................ Bill Stickers Will Be Prosecuted.

Written undeneath ............ Bill Stickers is innocent.

Pinky the pilot
20th Apr 2009, 03:14
On a condom vending machine;
'This is the worst chewing gum I ever tasted!'

On another;
'My Father said they don't work!'

And on a toilet wall at Adelaide Airport South Australia, about 25 years ago.

There was a young lad called Firkin
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin.
His Mother said, Firkin
stop jerkin yer gherkin.
Your gherkin is fer ferkin, not jerkin.

Thought it was fairly good. And no, I did'nt write it.

Scooby Don't
20th Apr 2009, 03:17
From a lane near my university.....


and underneath....


Neptunus Rex
20th Apr 2009, 03:26
Back in the '80s, when the French were protesting about English lamb and were blockading the Channel ports, this appeared on a wall at Boulougne:

French Farmers Rule
Aux Quais!!!


20th Apr 2009, 03:33
In the dunny of No 1 Hangar, RAF Scampton sometime in the early 70s

"Princess Ann gets her kicks from a stallion"

Obviously written prior to her marriage to Foggy

Atlas Shrugged
20th Apr 2009, 03:45
Drink milk because cows eat grass

20th Apr 2009, 03:46
Obviously you have'nt seen the reply Lighting6 :D

Hear I sit broken hearted
Payed my penny and only [email protected]

Half your luck, you had you're chance
I tried to [email protected], and [email protected] my pants.

Son of the Bottle
20th Apr 2009, 04:54
Don't beam me up now Scotty, I'm having a shi------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

(Seen at the bottom of a WC door, arrow should be vertical but the BB software seems determined to defeat my attempts at formatting.)

20th Apr 2009, 05:44
Jesus Saves

"But Keegan scores off the rebound" :ok:

20th Apr 2009, 05:45
On the Berlin Wall before it's demise:


20th Apr 2009, 05:52

In smaller writing underneath:

"Don't worry; Mary is pregnant again"

20th Apr 2009, 05:58
I have a twelve inch co*k but don't use it as a rule

I love a sunburnt country
A land of sweeping plains.
Where big fat multi-nationls
Reap high financial gains.

20th Apr 2009, 06:23
Heisenberg probably rules, OK!

20th Apr 2009, 06:27
Did we go to the same Uni? Because on the same theme..

"Schrodinger rules the waves"....


"Gravity is a myth...the Earth sucks"

20th Apr 2009, 06:54
Allegedly in the window of a camping store circa 1981:

Now is the discount of our winter tents.

20th Apr 2009, 07:06
Seen in a Pub bog in Cambridge eary 70's

Apathy Rules. O.

20th Apr 2009, 07:23
Many years ago when BR were running an advertising campaign, fronted by Jimmy Saville, with the slogan 'This is the Age of the Train'.

On Reading station someone, with more honesty than subtelty, had replace the word 'This' with the word 'Guess' on the posters there. Ever so neatly (must have taken ages).

Like This - Do That
20th Apr 2009, 07:53
In the gents at the since demolished 'Blue Room' at Uni of NSW in the mid-80s:

UNSW Womens' Collective will meet in Morven Brown Room LG21 every Tuesday at 1pm to discuss gender issues and swap recipes.

Well .... made me laugh.

On the wall outside the graveyard at St Stephens in Newtown (NSW) was, in large letters: "Cheryl is confused" ... always wondered who Cheryl was.

20th Apr 2009, 08:04
Inside of a bog door at RAF St Athan ....

If you shine a torch at the moon the beam would cover the whole lunar surface, whereas a laser beam would be aprroximately 1 metre in diameter.

Someone had written underneath ..

****in' strong torch !!

I guess you had to be there but it had me chuckling for weeks afterwards :ok:

20th Apr 2009, 08:05
Seen on a wall above a gents urinal......

The future of Britain lies in your hands, don't to$$ it away!


20th Apr 2009, 08:11
This is mind boggling, I know. I took this picture (and others, at other posts, with different inscriptions) a couple of years ago at a small train station situated along the old main line "Rome - Florence" (electrified, double track from the early '30s):


This writing is there from about May 1939... it passed through the thunderstorms of September 1943, the subsequent alternate invasions and bombings of 1944-45, the tepid showers of June 1946.... and eversince the Municipality has had a red majority... the Mayor and his committee were/are ironically referred to as "The Umbrian Chinese".

P.S.: the inscription reads "_ ASSE ROMA BERLINO _" = Rome - Berlin Axis

P.P.S.: this message was erroneously posted in the "Limerick Thread" :(

20th Apr 2009, 08:12
What's wrong with you guys?
[email protected]
[email protected]
Gentlemen, this is the Jetblast Forum not the Sunday School lavatories.

20th Apr 2009, 08:16
What's wrong with you guys?
[email protected]
[email protected]
Gentlemen, this is the Jetblast Forum not the Sunday School lavatories.

I noticed that after I posted earlier. I went back in to edit it and I have spelt l a s e r correctly but the software seems to change it to laser

20th Apr 2009, 08:35
Still chuckle when looking right to check the paper stock 'Toilet tennis see other wall'. You can of course guess, the left cubical wall, 'toilet tennis see other wall'.

Or placed high above the urinal 'If you are still reading this, you have pee'd on your shoes!'


20th Apr 2009, 08:50
Many years ago a railway bridge in south London was emblazoned with huge letters applied using a paint roller by someone we may presume to have been of a feminist disposition which stated, ‘END VIOLENCE TO WOMEN NOW!!’ To this had been appended by a very shaky hand with a small paintbrush ‘Yes dear…’

In my youth there was a slogan used by the company that sold tea leaves which I recall, though perhaps mistakenly, was seen on black and white television, but which anyway included the slogan ‘Typhoo put the T in Britain’ the verbal pun being accentuated on screen by the letter ‘T’ being highlighted in the word Britain. It was not long after this that a graffito started appearing questioning, ‘If Typhoo put the T in Britain, who put the c**t in Scunthorpe?

Sigh. They don't write 'em like that anymore....

20th Apr 2009, 08:59

Windy Militant
20th Apr 2009, 09:04
Seen on the Undergound mid to late seventies added to posters exhorting vigilence

BE ALERT to which was added Britain needs more Lerts.

further along the escalator

BE AWARE we've got enough lerts thanks!

More recently on the M25


Lon More
20th Apr 2009, 09:10


Visualise whirled peas

20th Apr 2009, 09:15
Written in small print on a public toilet floor:-

You are now shyting at an angle of 45 degrees.

20th Apr 2009, 09:39
Dyslexics of the World Untie
Jesus Saves (with the Woolwich)
Join the British Army, Visit Fascinating Places, Meet Interesting People (and kill them)

20th Apr 2009, 09:59
Northern Ireland mid seventies -large poster with the words 'Ulster says No'
Underneath in a different hand was written 'But Del Monte he say Yes'
Underneath in yet a different hand 'but he's an orange man isn't he ?'

20th Apr 2009, 10:01
Many years ago ....

If the bottom is falling out of your world ...... drink Watneys Red Barrel .... and the world will fall out of your bottom :O

20th Apr 2009, 10:32
University of East Anglia, mid 70s, toilet CEILING:-

Michaelangelo woz ere

Capt Claret
20th Apr 2009, 10:50
Seen on a dunny wall in Albury, circa 1970,

Some come here to sit and think,

Others come here to sh!t and stink,

But I come here to scratch my [email protected],

And read the bullsh!t on the walls. :}

20th Apr 2009, 11:17
Seen on wall of Gents in a Dorset pub: "Don't take the p1ss out of Badger beer, it needs all the flavour it can get!"

20th Apr 2009, 11:34
Richo77: Obviously you have'nt seen the reply Lighting6

Hear I sit broken hearted
Payed my penny and only [email protected]

Half your luck, you had you're chance
I tried to [email protected], and [email protected] my pants.

I confess to being the originator of the alternative reply
Here I sit, happy and grateful
Got in free anf [email protected] a plateful

20th Apr 2009, 11:35
One on a toilet wall in a ski resort i used to frequent:

The hands that fish cigarette butts out of this urinal are the same ones that pour your beer.

There were no fag ends in the urinal of that place.:yuk:

Chesty Morgan
20th Apr 2009, 11:44
Better than the usual "CLEAN ME" on the back of a manky Transit, I once saw:


Made I larf it did.

20th Apr 2009, 11:50
Underneath a filthy roller towel (in Southend Hospital of all places!)

Please wash your hands after using this towel.

20th Apr 2009, 12:08

Lon More
20th Apr 2009, 12:15
Jim Jill Jim
Jill due seas

Jim over Jill, Jill over due, Jim over seas

Lon More
20th Apr 2009, 12:20
Grafitti of a sort

At Middle Wallop (IIRC)

If you can keep your head whilst all around you are losing theirs....

try landing your helicopter somewhere less crowded

Lon More
20th Apr 2009, 12:22

Must have been before I added

"she was until I'd licked her clean":sad:

20th Apr 2009, 12:27
They're seen daily on the Motorways, along with:

Also available in white

Cleaned by Stevie Wonder:rolleyes:

20th Apr 2009, 12:32
But one among the most puzzling written graffiti must be the so-called "magic square":


Found carved on a wall in a cave (?) somewhere in the Middle East, by some attributed to Crusaders, thus the guardians of the Holy Grail, as you can see the word TENET -- = he keeps -- forms a cross,
by others to Roman Legionaries, thus the Mithraic origin of the square...
It's been written a lot about this, but I am not well informed.
One thing that I find curious is that if you put together on a line the "words" in "magic square" you get a palindrome (can be read in both senses without that the "significate" is altered, like e.g. ANNA or DENNIS SINNED):



Ancient Observer
20th Apr 2009, 12:41
Some of these older ones....
remind me that Nostalgia is not what it used to be. (Leeds Uni., 1970).
Also, for those who follow English soccer.....
1971, Leeds Uni., Library bog........" If there were a competition for the unluckiest team in England, Leeds would come second"
(The library bog was more erudite than the Union bog).

20th Apr 2009, 14:14
There is a hill on the infamous Washington, DC, Beltway which descends west of Georgia Avenue. Directly in front while descending the hill is the Mormon Temple, the main eastern US outpost of the Latter Day Saints faith. The Temple is a large "1930s modern" building with a resemblence to the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz film.
The Temple

There is a railway bridge across the beltway about halfway down the hill. It had just enough segments in the railing for vandals to paint


in large letters. [That was the slogan which the Wicked Witch skywrote in the film.] The Mormons were not amused.

The graffiti on the bridge was painted over but reappeared about three times. Somehow it hasn't reappeared in the last decade.

20th Apr 2009, 14:30
If there were a competition for the unluckiest team in England, Leeds would come second"

Now that is funny:ok:

barry lloyd
20th Apr 2009, 14:48
Three which appeared in Liverpool during the early 60s -
On a gable-end in a Catholic area of the city:
God bless our pope It was only a matter of days before someone added a ye
On another gable-end above a filling station in the days when the petrol companies gave tumblers and towels free with petrol purchases: Free Nelson Mandela to which someone quickly added with every four gallons

There was a church near the city centre which had a huge hoarding at the front, on which the vicar at regular intervals posted some whimsical quote or other. It was on this that I first saw ch_ _ch - What is missing? Unboubtedly his best though was: What would you do if Jesus Christ came to Liverpool? underneath which, within a few days, a Scouse wag had written move Ian St John to inside left

20th Apr 2009, 15:09
Seen a long time ago in the toilets at the Air Terminal, RAF Lyneham..........

Yesterday, I couldn't even spell occifer.....Now, I are one.

Still makes me laugh......:D

Diesel Fitter
20th Apr 2009, 15:30
Back of the door - Finnish campground bog circa 1968 -

A right sight where plenty had already bogged, miscued and otherwise decorated the place - mainly in brown -

A common US tourist slogan at the time.

20th Apr 2009, 15:34
Seen on a roundabout near Northwick Park Hospital, North-West London early 1970´s:-

"Nicholas Parsons is the neo-opiate of the people"

20th Apr 2009, 16:09
One would think, with all this wit,
Will Shakespeare had been here to sh*t.
And there again, this may be true,
since Shakespeare had an a**hole to.
But judging by the awful smell,
he brought his bl**dy horse as well.

20th Apr 2009, 16:21
Sacred Cows make good hamburger.

20th Apr 2009, 17:26
Men's bathroom in a certain school board office, a sign that reads:

"The flush is weak, please press down and hold."

Underneath in permanent marker: "The handle, silly."

Apparently school trustees have a sense of humour.

20th Apr 2009, 17:47
seen on train toilet.please do not use whilst train is in the station.scribe writes,except at woking.

20th Apr 2009, 18:35
In older German Intercity trains you find an 'official' notice in 3 or 4 languages, the English part being a rather clumsy direct translation:

Please leave this toilet in the state in which you want to find it!

Scribbled underneath:


hei yu
21st Apr 2009, 03:05
Jesus saves

Moses invests

21st Apr 2009, 03:34
I thought Cunnilingus was an Irish airline ---- until I doscovered Smirnoff

I thought Fellatio was an Italian film director --- until I discovered Smirnoff

And on the back of a dunny door at the ANU in Canberra - "This door will be coming out in paperback shortly."

21st Apr 2009, 08:48
Many, many years ago my foreman (whose real name I'll keep a secret) was nicknamed Boris, probably something to do with Boris Karloff. He was a thick set rugger player who used to frighten the life out of the apprentices on his gang.

One day I was in trap 2, doing what you do in a loo trap and I noticed that someone had scrawled "Boris walks on water". Two days later I noticed some wag had added "ha ha, the bastard sank".

The irony of this story was that Boris used to say you hadn't 'made it' until someone wrote about you on the shithouse wall......he must have seen this but no-one ever asked him.

21st Apr 2009, 08:55
Years back, I was a manager in a supermarket produce warehouse.Our manager was called chris Marrow. Every night, the squash lorry would come in bearing it's cargo of marrows, all of which would have a nice oval sticker bearing the legend: Safeway Marrow.

Each and every evening, one of us would be despatched to the other end of the building to place said marrow sticker on Chris' door & each and every morning, it would be gone. This went on for about four years & bless him, he never once mentioned it.

I can see the sigh, the shrug of the shoulders & the muttered f*****g idiots as he arrived for work every day. Good lad was Marrow.

21st Apr 2009, 09:39
Painted on a large roadside boulder not a million miles from Lossie some years ago:-


That was soon amended to:-


21st Apr 2009, 09:54

....and before that it was "JESUS SAVES...........with the TSB"

The graffiti are always very assiduously painted out and the original message restored. But I've never seen it being done. I wonder who....??

The Ancient Mariner

21st Apr 2009, 09:56
On the back of a dirty white van - 'A dog is for life, not just Saturday night'.

Lon More
21st Apr 2009, 10:40
....and before that it was "JESUS SAVES...........with the TSB"

.... and before that it was "JESUS SAVES.... not on my salary he doesn't"

unstable load
21st Apr 2009, 10:52
Under a bridge behind the Castle in (apartheid era) Cape Town was written
"wrong ruler ruined rand"
which got
"rather rand than ruble"
added, followed by
"rather ruble than rubble"

Seems a bit of de ja vu now, all things considered.

Windy Militant
21st Apr 2009, 12:39
Passed another Grubby White Van with

"I wish my wife was this dirty"

to which was added

"Mine is she's a mud wrestler!" :}

Pinky the pilot
21st Apr 2009, 13:03
On the toilet door at a Truckstop Roadhouse,

''Persons with bogey drive a***s please s**t in low gear''

Airborne Aircrew
21st Apr 2009, 13:59
Jesus Saves - But Keegan scores on the rebound

On the back of a dirty vehicle "I wish my wife was this dirty" to which was added "She is with me"

Many years ago on the London Underground someone had written "Mr. Kissinger should be bloody well hung" to which was added "He is, signed, Mrs. Kissinger"

On the back of a dirty vehicle "Don't clean me, plough me"

BA advert stated "Breakfast in London, Lunch in Paris, Dinner in Ciaro" to which was added "Bags in Bermuda"

21st Apr 2009, 14:57
A couple more old Smirnoffs -
I thought Wanking was somewhere in China
I thought Seven Up was Snow White's idea of a fun Saturday night.

21st Apr 2009, 15:38
Two were quoted years ago in "The Spectator":

1. SUBVERSIVE SLOGAN; and added below it was

21st Apr 2009, 16:06
Boulders on the Grantown road

....and before that it was "JESUS SAVES...........with the TSB"

The graffiti are always very assiduously painted out and the original message restored. But I've never seen it being done. I wonder who....??

Yes, I recall the TSB one. Dava Moor road - left hand side going north.

Could be some folk on this forum with a knowing smile on their faces, I think.

21st Apr 2009, 18:40
A bit of erudite boasting on the toilet wall of our local; vidi, vici, veni db

21st Apr 2009, 20:11
I loved this one from 1982.... on a poster for a Labour Party lecture, prior to the 1983 Labour crushing at the General Election:

"Next week - How Labour Can Win".

To which some wag had added:

"and the week after - How to Nail Jelly to the Ceiling".


21st Apr 2009, 20:21
Supposedly the New York subway:

'Down with Graffiti'


'Down with all Italians'

21st Apr 2009, 20:25
One sign per line

Violets are blue

Roses are pink

On graves

Of those

Who drive and drink


21st Apr 2009, 20:45
The best one I saw was scrawled on a wall in some emerging Eastern European country where it was obviously hip for the youngsters to speak english. It read ... SUCK MY CHICKEN!!

21st Apr 2009, 21:00
By the highway in Texas, 1960:


A Commie



21st Apr 2009, 21:16
In a toilet cubicle:

Here I sit in stinking vapour
'Cause some tw*t stole the toilet paper
Shall I cry
Or Shall I linger
Or will I be forced to use my finger

21st Apr 2009, 21:20
By the highway in Texas, 1950:




21st Apr 2009, 21:41
Since all the old ones are coming out:-

Poster on Dovercourt railway station in the 1950s


Frinton for the incontinent

21st Apr 2009, 21:55
To lightning6

re: An old one....

Hear I sit broken hearted
Payed my penny and only [email protected]

That really is an old one. I can remember when it actually did cost a penny - you know - the one with Britannia on it!

21st Apr 2009, 22:43
To lightning6

re: An old one....

Hear I sit broken hearted
Payed my penny and only [email protected]

That really is an old one. I can remember when it actually did cost a penny - you know - the one with Britannia on it!

Unfortunately I can remember it too. :*

21st Apr 2009, 23:06
Another Smirnoff one written on a wall in Belfast.

Blast bombs and Smirnoff leave me breathless.

22nd Apr 2009, 02:35

Painted in very neat large block letters on, you guessed it, a train station wall.

22nd Apr 2009, 03:36
Surprised nobody has mentioned "Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere" which appeared in huge letters one night on a wall just outside Paddington Station in the 1970s. It survived until the wall was demolished a few years later, and briefly reappeared nearby in the 90s. If you google the phrase you can find out the whole story (however did we live without it?)


hei yu
22nd Apr 2009, 05:30
I thought F%#king was a town in China, until I discovered Smirnoff

B Fraser
22nd Apr 2009, 07:02
I thought Zhukov was a russian tank commander until I discovered Smirnoff

Outside a butchers in Stirling there was the following sign....

Watership Down
You read the book
You saw the film
Now meet the cast.

The sign below became something of a cult in the 70's


I once saw a similar piece of graffiti that read


23rd Apr 2009, 07:54
Seen on a church notice board:

"The recently departed XXX will be cremated on Friday at 3:00 pm"

To which, some miscreant had added:

"Can you put him on a low gas, I can't get there before 3:45"!

23rd Apr 2009, 08:19
On the edge of the Lincolnshire Wolds are 2 villages, both on the same signpost, so the sign read "To Mavis Enderby and Old Bolingbroke" - to which some passing wag had added "A son"

23rd Apr 2009, 08:23
I thought F%#king was a town in China, until I discovered Smirnoff

*******, Austria - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*******,_Austria)

23rd Apr 2009, 09:15
Many moons ago, at my university, in the engineering department loos....

Some had written:

Lord Lucan is still missing

To which had been added:

Try new spark plugs?

23rd Apr 2009, 09:19
On a toilet wall at Hull university in 1975 -

We are the sort of people our parents warned us about

23rd Apr 2009, 10:49
Until she discovered Smirnoff Snow White thought Seven Up was a soft drink....

hei yu
23rd Apr 2009, 13:00

Well, I'll be Smirnoffed !