View Full Version : What would you have done?

17th Apr 2009, 14:44
A couple of months ago i was working in a house of an old lady,her husband had popped his clogs some time ago.We had to go into the loft to do some work and while up there discovered a box with adult magazines and a "non doctor" sex toy,it looked more like a kitchen blender than an aid to love making!
So i was driving home thinking to myself that the day will come when she pops off and her kids will be clearing the house out when they will come accross this box.
I dont think its something i would like to discover during my mourning period while sorting through my parents cherished memories.I toyed (excuse the punn) with the idea of throwing the box in the skip, in the belief that i was doing a kind act.
I had something similar last year when i wiped the adult content off the hard drive of a recently departed friends computer before his daughters took it away.
Should i have thrown the box away or minded my own business?

17th Apr 2009, 15:49
I think, just think - mind your own business.

And maybe check your own attic.....or, come to that, my cellar....or...... we've all got these little secrets, at least any normal person has, not really such a big deal. Unless there's any stiffs buried in the back 40. Or those 18 WW-II fighters buried under Heidelberg...

Nah, not your problem, I know you're being thoughtful, but......

17th Apr 2009, 15:55
Taken 'em and sold 'em on e-bay. "Hardly used"!


17th Apr 2009, 16:02
You did the right thing by leaving the box where it was.

Imagine receiving a phone call a couple of days later from the old dear who says "When you were up in the atic, you didnt move my box of porn and my trusty old sex toy did you?"

How would you answer that one...

17th Apr 2009, 16:05
What were you doing rummaging among private possessions?

17th Apr 2009, 16:13
I would have thrown it out without a second thought. The same way that if I were a cop who discovered the body of some poor old perv slumped in front of his computer with his pants round his ankles and a porn screen visible, I would delete his history and pull his pants up. A man's gotta go out with some dignity.

17th Apr 2009, 16:23
The only thing is it would count as 'theft'. I would say to the old dear 'there's some rubbish up here, would you like me to clear it out?', then take it away with other stuff. That way, problem removed, you have the protection of being authorised to remove rubbish. Be just your luck to be stopped for speeding and the copper says 'what's in the box- what's this thing?' When you say 'Sorry, I don't know!', are you ever going to have some explaining!

17th Apr 2009, 16:29
This is a question in ethics.

When joining the firm I work for, an investment fund, as the lowest rung on the ladder, there was a lengthy and detailed indoc. The greatest amount of time was given over to discussion of personal and professional ethics. The discussion made clear the idea that there is no bright line between the two.

A memorable point raised was that if you think you are in an ethically gray area, you are already over the line. I think the fact that you have doubts regarding your course of action is in itself the indication of what the proper course of action would be in this circumstance.

Also, I ask the same question asked by my friend G-CPTN: "What were you doing rummaging among private possessions?" Was doing this part of your agreed tasks in this particular situation?

17th Apr 2009, 16:31
I'd say it's very fortunate you didn't touch any of it. She might be an old lady, but old ladies are still only 19 in their minds .. and after some experience, of what some "older ladies" get up to, with younger men .. it's better that you didn't get too presumptuous, and think that the items were no longer being used ..... :rolleyes:

17th Apr 2009, 16:38
A memorable point raised was that if you think you are in an ethically gray area, you are already over the line.

So we all avoid gray areas because they force us to make a decision? Do we all step back and say I didn't want to get involved?

The discussion made clear the idea that there is no bright line between the two.

That would seem contrary to your first quote, which takes an emphatic line.

As for rummaging around in private possessions, what nonsense. A box of adult magazines etc, while it may well be have hidden in the loft, was hardly in a safe. Whoever went to the loft would find it without too much difficulty if they were genuinely sorting out the wheat from the chaff.

While the world imposes its peculiar brand of morals on everyone, a huge majority of people are rejecting said morals in their private lives, even if the prevailing puritanism prevents them from making it known. Get the government and everyone else out of our private lives and into the only areas they belong.

17th Apr 2009, 16:55
Binocs ~

Sorry if I was unclear. I intend these as two separate statements.


That between personal and professional ethics there is no separation. These are essentially the same thing, as one is not two different people... one at home and another at work, but a single person.


That if you think you have wandered into an ethically gray area, you are already over the line into potential unethical behavior.

Hope this clarifies.

17th Apr 2009, 17:03
Personally I wouldn't have given a toss!!!!!

17th Apr 2009, 17:07
Unlike Binos, if I'd been doing work in someone's loft, I'd probably have rummaged around any cardboard cartons up there just out of curiosity like, during my tea-break. You never know if there's a long lost Rembrandt or Rubens to be discovered for the benefit of all mankind?! Obviously, if there had been a 'valuable' painting up there, I'd have removed it, and once assured that it wasn't stolen, have asked Sothebys or similar to put it up for auction and then either voluntarily shared the proceeds with the widow or else murdered and buried her in her own back-garden.

Most (modern sex toys at least) appear to be made out of very cheap elastomers. Even the 'silicone / jelly' ones tend to degenerate quite rapidly after very little use apparently. One certainly wouldn't want to attempt to reuse any old toys...?! :ok:

At least dogeared, together with a fair number of others here, would be surprised: but I reckon that anyone with any previous experience of 'those sort of secrets' would be forced to admit that they weren't ever really secrets, just summat that all the family knew about but graciously ignored...as they should 'remain'! :ok:

mary meagher
17th Apr 2009, 19:40
Electrician working in my grandson's bedroom called down "I've found some literature here that might concern you!"

I said "If it's a bunch of old playboy magazines, just leave them....."

"No," he replied "Seriously, you'd better have a look!" So I did. It was a large expensive book titled "How to grow Marijuana".

I thanked the Electrician for his concern, took the book with me on a hospital visit and left it in the waiting room. Next day it had vanished.......

Chesty Morgan
17th Apr 2009, 19:41
it looked more like a kitchen blender than an aid to love making!

I'd have demanded a demonstration.:E

17th Apr 2009, 20:01
When my old man died some years ago, I cleared out his shed, where he spent many happy hours renovating old pieces of furniture.
In the bottom drawer of his bench I found some copies of Playboy and half a bottle of rum.
I couldn't help but smile. Many years later I mentioned it to my mum, sister and brother. We had a good laugh and they weren't at all surprised.
He was after all ex RN.
With regard to the 'toys', leave them alone. They're hers, not yours.